RAW
- So before RAW starts, we get this warning.This should be a fun episode.
- Marty Jannetty vs Owen Hart with Jim Cornette-The two lock up before Jannetty hits an arm drag followed by a monkey flip. Jannetty hits a drop-toe hold before hitting another hip toss. Hart avoids a body slam, only to be clotheslined down for a near fall by Jannetty. Jannetty hits a shoulder tackle before Hart hits a belly-to-belly suplex. Hart hits a back breaker and stomps away at Jannetty's back before Jannetty hits a corner crossbody for a near fall. Hart hits a step-up enziguri before Jannetty hits an arm drag but misses an elbow drop. Hart goes for the Sharpshooter, but Jannetty blocks it. Hart keeps control before Jannetty clotheslines Hart. Hart comes back with a gut wrench suplex for a near fall before the commercial break. We come back to Hart in control before Jannetty hits a facebuster. Jannetty hits a somersault cutter in the corner and a powerslam before clotheslining Hart out of the ring. Jannetty tries to suplex Hart back in the ring, but Hart lands on his feet and rolls him up, pinning him with a bridge for the win. Fine little opener, nothing special though,
- Todd Pettengill hypes up the WWF Free for All. It's basically Heat or the Kickoff Show. He also says there's going to be a drawing for the Royal Rumble spots. Two people who draw blanks will face off on the Free for All, with the winner entering at #30 and the loser entering at #1. He hypes up Diesel as a favorite to win before Diesel cuts a promo saying he'll win. He also says Vader is a favorite to win before the show the same Vader vignette they've shown the last three weeks. You know, for how much hype they're giving Vader, it's pretty shocking how poorly he was used in the WWF. Pettengill also hypes up Ahmed Johnson vs Jeff Jarrett. Pettengill then throws it to Dok Hendrix, who says Razor Ramon is showing up to confront Goldust tonight.
- Sunny is playing pool before saying she likes it raw...OK
- The Ringmaster vs Matt Hardy-Yep...it's Matt Hardy. I just can't look at Matt Hardy anymore without thinking of Broken Matt Hardy, the best gimmick of 2016. Hardy gets multiple near falls in the match, but the Ringmaster ultimately wins with the Million Dollar Dream. You could say Hardy got...wait for it...DELETED! But seriously, this match went on for way too long for a squash match.
- They play a Shawn Michaels vignette, running down everything that's happened to Michaels over the last few months or so before Michaels says he'll win the Royal Rumble.
- Dok Hendrix says that Razor Ramon is almost at the arena.
- The Smoking Gunns vs The Spiders-We join this match mid-way through. The Smoking Gunns win easily with the Sidewinder to defeat the Spiders, aka the Headbangers under masks.
- Another sh*tty Billionaire Ted sketch.
- Vince McMahon interviews Goldust in the ring. McMahon asks Goldust if he really means what he says & does or if he does it to pray on the "homophobic fears of most men." Goldust straight up says: "Mr. television announcer...is that an extra microphone in your pants...or are you just happy to see me?" That is great. Jerry Lawler also dies laughing at that line. Goldust says he's selective and looked carefully for the one who can give him the worst time, and that's Razor Ramon. He says he wants Razor more than any man or woman could ever want a human being.
- Dok Hendrix says Razor Ramon has just arrived. After a commercial break, Razor asks Dok where Goldust is.
- Isaac Yankem D.D.S vs The Undertaker with Paul Bearer-Hard to believe that this throwaway RAW main event would go on to be one of the WWE's greatest rivalries. Undertaker starts off in control, bodyslamming Yankem before lock clawing Yankem's face. Yankem comes back with a clothesline, but the Undertaker sits right up. Taker goes for a Tombstone Piledriver, but Yankem escapes and leaves the ring. The two brawl at ringside before Taker starts to choke Yankem against the ring post. Jerry Lawler leaves the commentary table to try to steal the chain made out of Undertaker's urn from Bearer. Taker is able to stop him, but Yankem is able to take control by ramming Taker into the pole before the commercial break. We come back to Yankem locking in a single leg Boston crab in the ring. Yankem continues the beatdown on Taker before locking in a bear hug. Taker escapes and hits a side suplex, but Yankem keeps control after a powerslam and two elbow drops. Yankem goes for a Tombstone of his own, but the Undertaker reverses it. As soon as he reverses it, the camera cuts to Dok Hendrix waiting around for zero reason so we miss the actual move. Way to go, Kevin Dunn. Undertaker hits an elbow drop before hitting the Tombstone Piledriver for the win. Not a good match, pretty boring.
- Dok Hendrix tries to interview Goldust, but Razor Ramon attacks him as soon as it starts. Goldust ends up low blowing Razor before the commercial break.
- We see Sunny in a bathtub, saying that was so good, that "we did it for almost an hour", and that's RAW.
- We go back to Razor in the hallway. Goldust grabs his coat and tries to leave, but Razor catches him and takes the fight to the outside.
Nitro
- Lex Luger vs Randy Savage-Luger tries to take a chair into the ring, but the referee stops him. Luger then opts to straight up just throw it right to Savage.Because that's smart. The referee takes the chair away from Savage, allowing Luger to ambush him and throw him out of the ring. Luger beats down Savage at ringside and gets back in the ring, only for Savage to pull him back out. Savage beats Luger down at ringside before hitting a top rope double axe handle for a near fall. The two go back and forth before Savage takes control. Luger pokes Savage in the eye before hitting three elbow drops for a near fall. Savage fights back and drops Luger on the ropes before going to the top rope. Luger dodges the top rope elbow drop and locks in the Torture Rack for the submission win. Pretty nothing match, not much to talk about.
- The Dungeon of Doom & the Four Horsemen come out. Kevin Sullivan tells Mean Gene to get in the ring with them. Arn Anderson quickly slags off Brian Pillman for not wearing a suit to this meeting before saying that the Dungeon and the Horsemen feuding has no winners. Sullivan says he respects Ric Flair and offers him the Giant as a tag team partner at Clash of the Champions. Sullivan adds that he respects Anderson, but says Pillman has no respect and needs to learn it. Anderson says that the Horsemen aren't afraid of the Dungeon of Doom, but they do respect them. Pillman starts hopping around and yelling at Sullivan, so Anderson slaps him and tells him to keep his mouth shut. Anderson says those emotional outbursts will stop. Great segment, specifically the interactions between Pillman & Anderson.
- Public Enemy vs The American Males-You know, the greatest trick the Public Enemy ever pulled was convincing people they could wrestle. Yes, the Public Enemy from ECW fame make their Nitro debuts tonight. They aren't very good. The American Males start with double back body drops before clotheslining Public Enemy out of the ring. Public Enemy drags the Males out of the ring before going back in the ring with Riggs, only for both of them to take a crossbody from Bagwell. The Males dropkick the Public Enemy out of the ring before the match finally gets under control. Riggs gets a near fall off a sunset flip on Johnny Grunge before hitting a dropkick. Rocco Rock kicks Riggs in the back, allowing Grunge to take control until Riggs hits a hair pull takedown. Bagwell tags and hits body drop on both Grunge & Rock and runs wild on both of them before hitting a powerslam on Grunge. Rock distracts Bagwell so Grunge can pop right back up. Bagwell & Grunge mess up O'Connor roll, so Rock punches Bagwell in the back of the head, allowing Grunge to get the roll up win. The match was enjoyable at first but really fell apart at the end. After the match, Public Enemy stack up two tables at ringside before setting up Bagwell on the top one. Rocco Rock then hits a senton bomb off the top rope through the tables.
- Ric Flair (c) with Jimmy Hart vs Sting-WCW World Heavyweight Championship-Sting over powers Flair to start and kips up right out of every takedown by Flair. Flair throws Sting out of the ring, but Sting gets right back in and gives Flair the 10 punches in the corner before giving him a hip toss, a dropkick, and a gorilla press slam. Flair flips over the turnbuckle and Sting clotheslines him down to the apron. Sting suplexes Flair back in the ring for a near fall before Flair pokes Sting in the eye and chops him to the ground. Flair chops and punches Sting around the ring before Sting sets him up on the top rope. Sting hits a superplex, but Flair blocks a standing splash with his knees before the commercial break. We come back to see Sting land on his feet off a side suplex, but diving into the ropes when Flair dodges him. Flair gets a few near fall with his feet on the ropes before throwing Sting out of the ring, where Jimmy Hart gives him a little kick. Back in the ring, Flair gets a near fall off a chop before Sting comes back and clotheslines him to the ground. Sting locks in a sleeper hold, but Flair escapes it with a side suplex. The two trade strikes before Flair dodges a dropkick. Flair goes for the Figure Four, but Sting turns it into a rollup for a near fall. Sting blocks a hip toss and gets a near fall off a dropkick before Sting throws him out of the ring again. Sting hops back in the ring for a sunset flip, but Flair blocks. For no reason whatsoever, Sting pulls Flair's trunks down in the back.Flair...put your ass away. No one wants to see that. Flair tries to punch Sting, but Sting avoids it and runs wild, hitting a gorilla press slam before throwing Flair off the top rope. Sting no sells a bunch of chops before hitting another gorilla press slam. Sting goes for the 10 punches in the corner again as Lex Luger comes down to ringside. He argues with Hart, ripping Hart's megaphone away from him but accidentally hitting Sting with it at the same time. Flair takes the opportunity to lock in the Figure Four, during which Sting's shoulders are counted down for three. Good match, as usual from Sting & Flair. After the match, Luger attacks Flair before he & Flair are both run off by Hulk Hogan & Randy Savage.
- After that, Mean Gene gets in the ring to interview Hogan, Savage, and Sting. Hogan says that Luger has cost Sting twice now and Savage says that Luger is killing him. Sting says he's going to confront Luger and leaves. Hogan says he & Savage will take Flair & the Giant apart before saying he deserves the title shot against Flair next week, not Savage. Savage says he does deserve the title shot and he's gonna take it. Hogan actually says he should get the title shot because he's got a better chance of winning. What a c*nt. Savage says he's taking his title shot and walks off. Hogan follows, even though his match is next.
- Meng with Kevin Sullivan vs Hulk Hogan-Before the match, Sullivan and Meng beat up a photographer because "why not?"Meng starts by beating Hogan out of the ring, where Sullivan hits Hogan a few times himself. Meng continues to beat down Hogan with frequent cheap shots from Kevin Sullivan. After dominating the entire match, Meng misses a diving headbutt. That's enough for Hogan to beat down on Meng until the referee pulls him off of Meng in the corner. Meng takes the opportunity to pull his Golden Spike out and hit Hogan with it. Hogan kicks out at two before Hulking up. Sullivan hops up on the apron with the Golden Spike, but Hogan takes it and uses it on Meng for the win. This was bad. Hogan got beat up the entire match, only to spring right up and get the win.
RAW: 7
Nitro: 11
That's it for this edition of RAW vs Nitro. Stay tuned for the next one in three days
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