RAW
Sycho Sid vs Hunter Hearst Helmsley
Luckily, the big stars in the WWF are all back from the tour overseas, which means I won't be subjected to another main event match involving Billy Gunn anytime soon. This week's opening match is a champion vs champion match, pitting the WWF Champion Sycho Sid against the Intercontinental Champion Hunter Hearst Helmsley. Although, calling this a match is a bit of a stretch. Sid immediately takes the fight to Helmsley, attacking him during his entrance well before the bell rings. Sid absolutely squashes the man with three Hs, giving him no offense whatsoever before hitting a chokeslam and powerbombing Helmsley. Oddly enough, Sid doesn't pin Helmsley, instead opting to let him roll out of the ring and get counted out while crawling up the entranceway. What? I'm actually so confused. Why was this booked the way this was. Why did Sid squash a guy who has a match at the next pay-per-view? Why did Sid not just cover him? Who wrote that down and thought "yeah, that'll beat Nitro." So bizarre.
Goldust with Marlena vs Bart Gunn
Goldust also starts his match with a cheap shot, throwing literal gold dust in Bart Gunn's face while the referee is distracted with Marlena. Goldust continues beating down the Gunn in and around the ring. At one point, Marlena blows smoke in Gunn's face after he gets dropped across the barricade. In the middle of the match, Billy Gunn gets a backstage promo. Only, instead of doing a split-screen like they normally do, they cut backstage to Gunn watching the match on TV.
Billy says he carried Bart the whole time and that he's going to whip him all the way back to Texas next week. Bart spends about 90% of the match getting worked over until he hits a crossbody and makes his comeback, only to whiff on a top rope crossbody and hurt his knee. Goldust takes the opportunity to take out said knee with a chop block and pin Gunn for the win. It's an alright match. That's about it. After the match, Billy Gunn runs down and berates Bart on the mic. Bart fires back and sends Billy packing before chasing him to the back.
Justin Hawk Bradshaw and Uncle Zebekiah get about two inches away from the camera and cut promos on "Double J" Jesse James. Zebekiah says 100 words per minute and I have no idea what the hell he was talking about. Bradshaw is more intelligible, saying that they'll beat James in their handicap match tonight and stick his branding iron on his booty. That's the word he uses. "Yeah, come on Hawk, brand the booty!" Vince McMahon is probably thinking to himself.
Next week, live on RAW, Sable and Jerry Lawler face off in the Karate Fighters tournament finals. Just to clarify, a champion vs champion match got a throwaway mention at the end of last week's show as it's build, but the KARATE FIGHTERS TOURNAMENT FINALS is getting a full segment and another week of build after already getting six weeks for the whole tournament. You know, I wonder why Nitro was doing a full point better in the ratings at this point.
"Double J" Jesse James vs Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw & Uncle Zebekiah
As I mentioned, this is a handicap match after Zebekiah's interference cost Double J the match last week. Also, just like last week...
I said it last week, and I'll say it again...HOW DO YOU MISSPELL "JAMES?!" For the third match in a row, someone rushes their opponent before the bell rings. This times it's James, who cuts his song short before running into the ring and attacking Bradshaw. James is able to fend off both men until Bradshaw hits a bulldog. At one point, Zebekiah just gets in the ring and gets rolled up by James, and even though he's not the legal man. Adding to the bad booking, Bradshaw holds James in place for Zebekiah to hit him with his branding iron, only for James to avoid it and cause Bradshaw to get hit. Even though this is in plain view of the referee, James makes the cover and gets the three for the win. This was not very good. Sloppy match with a dumb finish. After the match, Bradshaw turns on Zebekiah, giving him a Clothesline from Hell before stamping branding him. This is the end of Dutch Mantel in the WWF, as he's off to Puerto Rico to work for the World Wrestling Council. It would be over 16 years before Mantel would return to WWE as Zeb Colter.
Bret Hart comes down to the ring for an interview with Jim Ross. JR asks him about his match-up with Sycho Sid on Sunday at In Your House: It's Time and the situation between him and the British Bulldog saving each other from attacks. Concerning Sid, he says their match won't be a technical wrestling match and says that Sid is standing in between him and the WWF Championship. He says that when he snaps, he'll be the champion again and ends by saying Sid will be "excellently executed."
Mankind with Paul Bearer vs The Undertaker in a No Holds Barred match
The main event of this week's RAW is another chapter in the Undertaker and Mankind's long rivalry. This time they face off in a No Holds Barred match. Taker dominates the beginning of the match until his opponent at In Your House, the Executioner, runs down to distract him. This allows Mankind to take control of the match, but Taker quickly regains control. In one the nastier spots in the match, Taker traps Mankind's hand between the ring post and the bottom part of the ring steps before crushing it with the top of the ring steps. Taker continues to work on the hand until Mankind dodges a big boot and chop blocks Taker knee. Mankind continues to work over Taker before clotheslining him out of the ring, flying out of the ring with him. Mankind beats the hell out of Taker at ringside, throwing him into the ring steps before setting his leg across a chair and elbow dropping it from the ring apron. Back in the ring, Taker manages to kick Mankind out of the ring before kicking him into the barricade when Mankind tries to pull him out. Taker follows him out of the ring and body slams him on Spanish announce table before the commercial break. Back in the ring, Mankind takes out Taker's knee and goes to the top rope, only for Taker to catch him by the throat. Mankind is able to avoid the chokeslam with a drop toe hold and continues to work over Taker's knee. Mankind grabs a chair, but Taker boots it into his face before punching it into his face when he gets back up. Taker goes for the Tombstone Piledriver, but Mankind slips out and locks in the Mandible Claw. Despite having it locked in for over a minute, Taker fights out and drops Mankind across the top rope. Taker quickly follows up with a Tombstone Piledriver for the three and the win. Great match. These two beat the piss out of each other the whole match and didn't slow down one bit. I'd heavily recommend going back and watching this match. Afterwards, however, the Executioner returns and locks in the Asiatic Spike on Taker. Taker fades as the show closes.
That's it for RAW. Onto Nitro...
Nitro
Nitro kicks off with Rowdy Roddy Piper. Piper rambles about how he used to live in Charlotte before changing the subject things he is ashamed of. He talks about how he refused to take a dive for Mr. T at WrestleMania 2 and says that'll never take a dive. He then calls the nWo gay because it was the 90s and babyfaces were allowed to do that back then. Piper calls out Hogan...only to then leave the ring. What was that? I don't know if it's just the fact that Piper's been around for so long...but his promos in 1996 are just bad. Not that he's not charismatic, of course. He's not bad on the mic. These promos just go on way too long when they really don't need to. He rambles so much that sometimes it's hard to understand what he's even trying to convey.
Mike Enos vs M. Wallstreet
If you read that header and didn't skip this part, I commend you. So, according to Tony Schiavone, a lot of the roster is on tour in Germany, meaning this show is full of lower card at best matches. Think of that RAW where everyone was overseas so they had to a midcard tag match in the main event, only twice as long. God help me. Mike Enos is such a jobber that he can't even make it all the way down the entranceway before Wallstreet's music starts. Now, Mike Enos had a couple a surprisingly good matches on Nitro in the past. This is not one of them. It's a short match, with the most eventful aspect being neither of the two people in the ring. Early in the match, Ted DiBiase comes down to ringside with a nWo contract in hand. This distracts Enos, allowing Wallstreet to hit him with a Samoan Drop called the Stock Market Crash (because Wallstreet) and get the three. DiBiase then hands Wallstreet the contract and walks away. So yeah...
nWo members: 12
Hugh Morrus vs The Renegade with Joe Gomez
Now if you read that header and didn't skip, I double commend you. This is a pretty standard, uneventful TV match between two guys who aren't going anywhere in this company. Morrus ends up winning fairly quickly after countering a bulldog into a back suplex and hitting No Laughing Matter for the three. He tries to do it again, but Joe Gomez pulls him out of the ring to save him.
Immediately after the match, Kevin Sullivan storms down to the commentary table to confront Tony Schiavone. Two days before this on WCW Saturday Night, Schiavone played a video from Chris Benoit & Woman where they officially reveal that Sullivan and Woman are actually married, but now she's with Benoit. Sullivan blasts WCW for playing it as a ratings draw and calls Schiavone a pawn. He says that video was sent to him, which begs the question of how WCW got it in the first place?
Mean Gene Okerlund interview Kevin Greene of the Carolina Panthers. It's been almost five months since he was last on Nitro, so if you forgot about him, here's a cliff notes summary of his story. He's in the NFL. He teamed up with Mongo to wrestle Ric Flair & Arn Anderson. Mongo turned on him to join the Four Horsemen. On this show, he restates that he's going after Mongo once the season is over. He then turns his attention to the nWo, calling it a bunch of crap and says if he gets his hands on Hulk Hogan, they'll have to call him Chokin' Hogan because he'll be choking on his fist down his throat.
Dean Malenko vs Jimmy Graffiti
Normally, I'd wonder why a goob like Jimmy Graffiti is getting a match on WCW's A show, but since half the roster is in Germany, I'll give it a pass. This match is fine for the most part, but when you've got guys as talented Dean Malenko and Jimmy Del Ray in the ring, a "just fine" match has to be seen as a disappointment. It's a lot slower and nowhere near as exciting as the average cruiserweight match you'd see at the time. Also, there's no reason someone like Malenko should be struggling against Jimmy f*cking Grafitti, especially when he's the Cruiserweight Champion. Malenko wins after countering a delayed vertical suplex with a small package for the win. Sonny Onoo also pops up at ringside with his camera, but that doesn't play into anything.
Speaking of Sonny Onoo, Mean Gene Okerlund interviews him at the entranceway. It takes about a minute for the two get to the point of the interview, with Onoo saying the Ultimo Dragon is going to beat Dean Malenko at Starrcade and win the Cruiserweight Championship. That's all.
The Nasty Boys vs The Faces of Fear with Jimmy Hart
Instant brawl to start the match, as you'd expect with a Nasty Boys match. They are quickly joined by the Outsiders, who watch the match from the stage before leaving without doing anything. More brawling with chair shots behind the referee's back from the Faces of Fear. Even more brawling ends with Brian Knobbs hitting a second rope splash on the Barbarian, but the referee is distracted with Jerry Saggs and Meng brawling on the outside. Jimmy Hart distracts Knobbs so Barbarian can no-sell the splash and hit him from behind. This match f*cking sucks. Hart tries to dive off the top rope and hit Knobbs with his megaphone. Knobbs dodges and Hart hits Barbarian. Meanwhile, Meng hits Saggs with a regular chair that's tied up in a camera cord.
Knobbs throws Hart on to Meng before Barbarian hits him with the megaphone for the three and the win. This was terrible. It's all just incoherent brawling with a ridiculously overbooked ending.
Mean Gene Okerlund interviews Ric Flair. He quickly asks for Roddy Piper to come out, which he does and the two hug. Flair calls Piper an icon and a big-time player before saying that when he had to face Hulk Hogan, he failed and it haunts him. He says that Charlotte, the Horsemen, and WCW are all behind Piper. Piper says he appreciates it but says he wants to beat Hogan by himself and says that at Starrcade, Hogan is his. He kisses Flair on the forehead before the two walk to the back.
Bobby Eaton vs Chris Jericho
Midway through this match, Jericho cuts a picture in picture promo where he says WCW will prevail over the nWo and says that he's not done with Nick Patrick, even though he's already beaten him clean at World War 3. This match is short and pretty solid, ending with a Jericho getting the three and the win off a missile dropkick. Nothing special, just decent.
Sgt. Craig Pittman vs Arn Anderson with Steve McMichael & Debra
Before the match, Kevin Sullivan cuts a picture in picture promo blaming Arn Anderson for what's happened to him and says that they are going to "heat up his life" next week. In a pretty standard, not very interesting match, Pittman locks in the Code Red armbar surprisingly quickly, only for Anderson to get a rope break and roll out of the ring. This leads to both Pittman and the referee following him out, leading to Debra distracting the referee so Mongo can hit Pittman with his briefcase. Mongo rolls him back in the ring so Anderson can hit the DDT for the three and the win. Like I said, pretty standard match, nothing really notable.
After the match, Mean Gene Okerlund interviews Anderson and the McMichaels. He objects to Chris Benoit and Woman's relationship before Debra calls Woman a tramp and rambles on about beauty pageants and NFL wives and how beauty is power so that makes her the most powerful member of the Horsemen. Mongo interjects and says nothing before Anderson tells Benoit to come home and that he has a bone to pick with Woman.
Diamond Dallas Page vs Jeff Jarrett-United States Championship Tournament Semi-Finals Match-Up
Finally, a real match with two guys who are actually somewhat important. Now, this was originally a first-round match in the tournament to crown a new United States Championship, but since Lex Luger was dumb and wouldn't stop Torture Racking Arn Anderson until they both got counted out, the winner of this match will go right to the finals at Starrcade. Jarrett keeps trying to strut, but since their in Charlotte (you know, Ric Flair's hometown) he is rightfully booed. This ends up being a pretty good match, which isn't surprising based on who's in the ring. Towards the end of the match, Jarrett dodges a charging DDP, who goes flying out of the ring. This brings out the Outsiders. As the referee turns his attention to Kevin Nash, Jarrett hops up on the second turnbuckle, putting him right in position for Scott Hall to sneak up behind him and hit him with the Outsider's Edge. DDP crawls back in the ring and gets the three for the win as the Outsiders celebrate.
After the match, Mean Gene Okerlund steps in the ring to interview DDP about the Outsiders frequent interference. He says that he doesn't need the Outsiders to get involved in his business and tells the nWo to do their thing while he does his own. Changing the subject to Starrcade, DDP says no one wants the United States Championship more than him.
The show closes with Rick Steiner vs Scott Norton...at least, that's what it's supposed to be. Instead, Roddy Piper comes down to the ring, grabs a chair, and demands Hulk Hogan come down to the ring and face him. The nWo's music hits, but instead of Hogan, Eric Bischoff comes out, getting pelted with trash along the way. Piper is having none of it and demands Hogan again. Bischoff says the rest of the nWo is gone and reiterates that he was trying to protect Piper by keeping him away from WCW. He says Piper is no Hulk Hogan before calling him a gimp again. Piper snaps and punches Bischoff in the back of the head. The rest of the Outsiders, Ted DiBiase and the Giant run down as Piper tries to hold off the nWo with a chair. All of a sudden, Kevin Greene pops up again and stands with Piper as Hall and Nash enter the ring.
The show ends before any actual fighting starts, but an after the show exclusive sees Arn Anderson and Steve McMichael come down to even the odds. Piper, Greene and the Horsemen stand tall to end the night.
And that's it. I'm going to have to give it to RAW this week. RAW was not all that good, outside of the great main event. it's mostly underwhelming midcard match-ups and a confusingly bad opener. There's a pretty decent Bret Hart interview, but that's really it for the positives. Nitro, however, sucked. Not having most of the big names really hurt and made the card full of lame, uneventful matches. It got a little better later down the card, but even then the show still has a lot more bad matches than good. DDP and Jarrett is solid and Jericho and Eaton was decent but other than that, nothing all that good. Also, that Nasty Boys-Faces of Fear match was just awful. Point to RAW.
RAW: 24
Nitro: 36
Thanks for reading! Be sure to share if you enjoyed and come back next week for the next edition of RAW vs Nitro.
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