But first, a quick recap of In Your House: Beware of Dog 2: Electric Boogaloo, which happened six days ago.
- Savio Vega defeated Steve Austin in a Caribbean Strap match. How bizarre does that sound nowadays? Savio Vega beat Steve Austin. Weird. As per the pre-match stipulation, Ted DiBiase is now gone from the WWF. See you in WCW!
- Vader defeated Yokozuna. Yokozuna attempted to hit the Bonzai Drop on Jim Cornette, but Vader pulled him out of the way and hit the Vader Bomb on Yokozuna.
- Goldust defended the Intercontinental Championship against the Undertaker in a Casket match. Undertaker attempted to put Goldust in the casket, only for Mankind to pop out of the casket. Mankind knocked out Undertaker with the Mandible Claw before locking Taker in the casket, giving Goldust the win.
RAW
- Steve Austin vs Bob Holly-King of the Ring First Round Match-The two lock up before Austin takes control with a headlock. The two trade holds before Austin targets Holly's knee. The two then fight in the corners before Holly locks in a headlock. Austin escapes with an arm drag before flooring Holly with an elbow drop. Austin follows up with a fireman's carry backbreaker and a knee drop. Austin controls the match until Holly rams Austin's head into the turnbuckle twice. Austin goes to the top rope, but Holly knocks his legs out from under him and crotches him on the top rope. Holly runs wild, hitting a back body drop and a back elbow for a near fall. Holly goes for ten punches in the corner, but Austin pushes him away and locks in the Million Dollar Dream for the submission win. Fine match, nothing special.
- Barry Horowitz vs Mankind-The two go back and forth to start before Mankind beats Horowitz down in the corner. Horowitz goes for a roll up, but Mankind blocks it by stomping on Horowitz. Mankind takes Horowitz out of the ring...just so he can bring him back in. That was weird. Mankind dominates the rest of the match before applying the Mandible Claw for the win. After the match, Jim Ross interviews Mankind. He says he hopes the Undertaker shows a bit of pride and decides against fighting a man with nothing to lose. He says he's lost his ear, his teeth, and his mind, but at King of the Ring, Taker will lose it all.
- Goldust gets interviewed from his "den." He says he saved Ahmed Johnson's life last week by giving him mouth-to-mouth. Goldust then says that at King of the Ring that the "mighty Mandingo" will "melt in his hands and not his mouth" and he will never forget his name. Jesus...
- The BodyDonnas announce they are looking for a new manager. Instead of going the Craig Pittman route of walking up to the commentary team at random times and asking them for managerial help, Skip & Zip have decided to ask any "man, woman, or child" to send in an application to be their manager.
- The Godwinns with Hillbilly Jim vs Tekno Team 2000-Sunny is on commentary for this match, where she laughs off the BodyDonnas' manager search. Travis & Henry Godwinn start with Henry hitting a sh*tty hip toss. Troy & Phineas Godwinn tag in, but Phineas gets distracted by Sunny on commentary. After a long period of nothing, Troy dodges a corner splash before clotheslining Phineas. Travis tags in and rams Phineas into the turnbuckle before tagging Troy back in for a double bicycle kick. Tekno Team 2000 controls the match until Phineas blocks an assisted splash with his knees. Henry Godwinn gets the hot tag and runs mild on Travis before dodging an assisted corner splash and hitting the Slop Drop on Troy for the win. This was pretty lame. Nothing of note.
- Clarence Mason comes on the phone to talk about how he was "assaulted" by Gorilla Monsoon. He has "evidence" which shows Monsoon lightly pulling Mason out of the way of Shawn Michaels two weeks ago while he was escorting him & Diana Smith away from ringside. That apparently did enough to put Mason in a neck brace and on crutches.
- Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs Jake Roberts-King of the Ring First Round Match-The two lock up to start before Roberts hits a hip toss followed by a knee lift. Roberts goes for the DDT twice, but Helmsley avoids it both times and rolls out of the ring. Back in the ring, Roberts locks in a wristlock before turning it into an armbar. During this match, Vince McMahon, completely out of nowhere, squashes the rumors that Scott Hall is still working for the WWF like WCW implied. I don't blame him, really. WCW was basically trying to profit off the WWF by making people think they had invaded WCW. McMahon even spoils that Kevin Nash will be joining the angle. After a commercial break, Helmsley takes control, beating Roberts down in the corner before hitting a knee drop for a near fall. Helmsley controls the match until Roberts hits a jawbreaker. Roberts runs wild on Helmsley before hitting the short arm clothesline and calling for the DDT. However, Helmsley blocks it and rams Roberts into the corner before flooring Roberts with a back elbow before another commercial break. We come back to Roberts hitting the DDT for the win. Pretty decent match. After the match, Roberts takes out Revelations the Snake and teases shoving it down Helmsley's pants.And thus, ladies and gentlemen, we begin the de-push of Hunter Hearst Helmsley. As many of you probably know, Helmsley was a part of the Kliq, who caused controversy when him, Shawn Michaels, Diesel, and Razor Ramon all hugged in the ring at the end of a house show at Madison Square Garden, completely breaking kayfabe by having two faces (Michaels & Razor) and two heels (Diesel & Helmsley) embracing in the ring. With Razor & Diesel gone from the WWF already and Michaels being the WWF Champion and the biggest draw in the company, the future Triple H received all the blame & punishment for the incident. Not only did he lose to Marc Mero at Beware of Dog, but he was also booked to win the King of the Ring. However, after the MSG incident, or the "Curtain Call", his win was taken away from him and given to someone else. You'll find out soon enough who. Helmsley would win King of the Ring next year, but it's hard to imagine how differently WWF's history would've gone had the Curtain Call never happened. Would Helmsley have become a world champion sooner than 1999? Would Degeneration-X have ever formed? And what would have happened to the guy who won this year? I guess we'll never know.
That's it for RAW. Onto Nitro!
Nitro
- Big Bubba with Jimmy Hart vs The Shark...sort of. Shark comes out with no face paint and in different ring gear before telling the crew to stop the music, despite the fact that there's no music playing. Here's something gross, Big Bubba still has the Shark's hair that he cut last week. He just...kept it.He's like some weird, creepy stalker version of Brutus Beefcake...come to think of it, why didn't you just have Ed Leslie do this gimmick? He\'s on the roster. What, were they too invested in the f*cking Booty Man to give it up so Big Bubba got stuck with it? Here's something else that's pretty dumb, the Shark hasn't shaved the rest of his head.
Why? These are his exact words: "There's a reason why I'm not shaving the other half off. Every morning I get up I have to look in the mirror. I relive the embarrassment. I go get my mail, the neighbors are laughing at me, I relive the embarrassment." To put it shortly "I'm voluntarily leaving my head half shaved because people are making fun of me." That makes...less than zero sense. I'm only four minutes into this episode and it's already making me feel drunk. Shark says that he's not the Shark anymore, he's a man and wants to go by his real name, John Tenta. He says he's going to hurt Big Bubba and then shave the Giant's head so he can feel the embarrassment he felt. Tenta quickly takes the fight to Bubba hitting a powerslam before grabbing Bubba's scissors. Bubba quickly leaves the ring and gets counted out. How much longer is this episode?
Why do I do this to myself?
- High Voltage OH F*CK OFF! Who the f*ck are these guys? Sorry, it's just...there's still an hour & twenty minutes of this show left and I've already gotta deal with head-shaving nonsense and whoever these goobs are.
- High Voltage vs The Faces of Fear-OK, so High Voltage is Ruckus & Kaos, two WCW Power Plant prospects. No joke, you can count the number of graduates from there who went on to become world champions on one hand; Goldberg, Kevin Nash, Diamond Dallas Page, and the Giant. Five if you count IWGP Heavyweight Champion Bob Sapp who spent a cup of coffee in WCW, but still, one hand. Kaos & Barbarian start before High Voltage hit a double hip toss followed by a double shoulder tackle. Barbarian responds to that by powerbombing Ruckus before tagging in Meng to stomp him. Meng follows up with a dropkick followed by a backbreaker. The Faces of Fear dominate the match until they a double diving headbutt. Kaos tries to help Ruckus, but quickly gets thrown out of the ring before Meng hits a savate kick for the win.
- Mean Gene interviews Sting & Lex Luger. Luger says things got out of hand last week before saying he did nothing wrong. Sting says he did hit Scott Steiner first, but Luger brushes it off before saying that Steiner shouldn't have tried to suplex Sting on the floor. The Steiners come in and the two teams argue. Luger shoves Scott Steiner before the teams almost come to blows.
- Disco Inferno vs Sgt. Craig Pittman with Teddy Long-The two lock up before Pittman blocks an arm drag and does one himself. Disco punches Pittman in the eye, only for Pittman to hit a belly-to-back suplex followed by a gut wrench powerbomb for a near fall. Disco punches Pittman's head, but it hurts him before Pittman headbutts him in the gut. Pittman goes for the Code Red armbar, but Disco submits before Pittman even locks it in. Why? Because he wouldn't be able to dance or brush his hair anymore. That is hilarious. Disco leaves the ring triumphantly.
- Steven Regal with Jeeves vs Jim Duggan-Duggan forces Regal into the corner to start before breaking the hold and starting a USA chant. Duggan forces Regal into the corner again, but Regal fights out, only to get clotheslined a bunch before rolling out of the ring. Back in the ring, Duggan punches away at Regal before Regal floors Duggan with a kick. Regal uppercuts Duggan before poking him in the eye. Regal goes for a standing senton bomb, but Duggan avoids, punches Regal a bunch and hits a back body drop. Suddenly, Dave Taylor and Earl Robert Eaton come down and surround ringside. They're like the British Shield. Bravo Lima Uniform Echo Bravo Lima Oscar Oscar Delta Sierra. B.L.U.E B.L.O.O.D.S. Regal hits the Three-Point Clothesline as Eaton distracts the referee, so Duggan grabs his 2x4. He's winning, and he's trying to cheat. Jim Duggan is the worst. Taylor takes it away from him, so Duggan takes a roll of athletic tape out of his trunks and wraps his fists before punching Eaton off the ring apron. However, the distraction allows Regal to roll up Duggan for the win. This was sh*t. I never thought I'd say that about a William Regal match, but this sucked. After the match, Mean Gene interviews Regal. During the interview, we see a clip from WCW Main Event, where Regal backhanded the sh*t out of Sting during a sit-down interview. Regal says he was fined heavily for slapping Sting, but he paid double the fine so he's in credit now so he better get his time to talk. He says Sting only loves himself and at the Great American Bash, he wants Sting at his best. He says he'll show the world how good he is when he beats Sting at his best. This promo almost redeemed that match...almost.
- We see a series of interviews from WCW Saturday Night, where Arn Anderson tells Chris Benoit the issues with the Dungeon of Doom have been solved. We then get one from the next week where Benoit yells at Anderson, saying he told them he couldn't trust the Dungeon of Doom. Each time, Sullivan walks in & argues with Benoit. Two weeks later, Benoit & Sullivan argue. We then get a clip from Sullivan helping Public Enemy put Benoit through a table before we get another interview where Sullivan calls Benoit a snake and warns Anderson that Benoit will turn on him. This was nice, a good way of filling people in who don't watch Saturday Night. Or, you know, people who can't watch Saturday Night because a certain wrestling company hasn't added the episodes to their subscription-based video streaming service in 2017.
- Kevin Sullivan with Jimmy Hart vs Prince Iaukea-Prince Iaukea is a future Television & Cruiserweight Champion. Not that you'd know it by this match, as he gets DESTROYED by Kevin Sullivan, who quickly finishes him off with a double stomp. After the beat down, Mean Gene interviews Sullivan & Jimmy Hart. Hart says that they don't need to associate with the Four Horsemen before Sullivan says that when Hulk Hogan comes back from...wherever he is...he'll want Flair & Anderson on his back. He reiterates that Chris Benoit is a snake and he's going to get rid of him at the Great American Bash.
- The Rock 'n' Roll Express vs Ric Flair & Arn Anderson with Woman & Miss Elizabeth-This is the Nitro debut of the legendary Rock 'n' Roll Express, who are returning to WCW after spending three years jumping between the WWF, Smoky Mountian Wrestling, and the United States Wrestling Association. Also of note, Flair & Anderson come out wearing their Great American Bash opponents' football jerseys, with Flair wearing Kevin Greene's & Anderson wearing Mongo's.However, Anderson appears to have gotten a child sized jersey because the one he's wearing is skin tight.
It's so tight that Anderson actually needs Woman & Elizabeth's help getting the jersey off.
Anderson & Ricky Morton start off with Anderson throwing Morton to the mat. Anderson then floors Morton with a shoulder block before we get to the second hour of Nitro, which is introduced with FIREWORKS!
Like...calm down, it's just the second hour of your show. The only thing that's different is the commentary team. Morton & Anderson go back and forth before Morton sends Anderson into the Horsemen's corner. Flair tags in and forces Morton into the corner, so Morton slaps him. The two fight in the corner before Morton back body drops Flair and tags in Gibson. Flair forces Gibson into the Horsemen's corner, but Gibson fights out and stands tall. Anderson tags in and he & Gibson go back and forth before Gibson hits a diving crossbody for a near fall. Flair tags back in and goes back and forth with Gibson before Gibson locks in the figure four on Flair. Anderson tries to make the save, but Morton runs in and puts him in the figure four right next to Gibson & Flair. Anderson manages to rake Gibson's eyes while in the hold, allowing Flair to get free. Flair shoves the referee, so the referee shoves him down and out of the ring. You have no idea how much I hate that spot. How lame do you have to be to get beat up by the referee? Back in the ring, Morton arm drags Anderson twice before Flair tags in and pokes Morton in the eye. Morton & Flair go back and forth before Anderson pulls Flair out of the way of a corner splash. Anderson tags in and tosses Morton out of the ring, where Flair throws him into the guardrail and chops him to the ground. The Horsemen get the heat on Morton for a long time, during which Bobby Heenan leaves the commentary to talk to Woman & Elizabeth. Morton is finally able to break away from Flair & Anderson and tags in Gibson, who runs wild on the Horsemen. Gibson bodyslams both men before dropkicking Flair and hitting a step-up enziguri, only for Flair to break up the pin. The Rock 'n' Roll Express give Flair & Anderson each a double dropkick before Woman rakes Gibson's eyes. Anderson sneaks in and DDTs Gibson, allowing Flair to make the cover and get the win. This was really good. It probably would've been a lot better if it were like 1986, but this was still great. After the match, Mean Gene interviews the Horsemen. Anderson says he's too big to play and says him & Flair are bigger & better than Kevin Greene & Mongo. Flair says that Debra McMichael gave Flair & Anderson those jerseys before saying they are better than them. Bobby Heenan comes down, so Mean Gene asks him about what he said to Woman. He says he told her about a good place to get her diamonds cleaned. Mean Gene asks Heenan about the rumor concerning whether he'll manage Flair & Anderson at the Great American Bash. Heenan says he won't, which prompts Flair to ask "WHAT ABOUT THE GIRLS!" However, Heenan brings out the All-Madden award, which he claims to have won, before saying he won't manage Flair & Anderson...he'll coach them! The Horsemen celebrate in the VIP section.
- GLACIER VIGNETTE!
- Ice Train vs The Giant with Jimmy Hart-Right as the match starts, Hart trips up Ice Train, which distracts him long enough for the Giant to chokeslam him for the win. What a geek. Scott Norton runs down and hits the Giant, so the Giant chokeslams him twice. That's bad news for Norton because...
- Scott Norton vs Hugh Morrus-...His match is next. Morrus comes down to the ring and leg drops Norton before taunting Norton, covering him one finger before pulling it off. Morrus drops three elbows, but doesn't cover him. Morrus decides to go for the No Laughing Matter moonsault. However, Norton gets to his feet, fails to catch Morrus on the moonsault when Morrus undershoots it, and hits Morrus a bunch for the win. What the f*ck was this? This was lame.
- We get another vignette of Mongo & Kevin Greene training. That training involves a football for some reason.Mongo & Greene discuss their gameplan before deciding they need a manager. Greene just happens to be eating a Slim Jim, which gives them the idea to have the Macho Man Randy Savage manage them.
- Sting & Lex Luger (c) vs The Steiner Brothers-WCW Tag Team Championships-I swear, you could play Sting's entrance theme, stop it, then play the Steiner Brothers' entrance theme and you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. They're that similar. During this match, Bischoff & Hennan get Randy Savage on the phone. Instead of just...letting him talk over the match that the commentators aren't paying attention to anyway, they go to that sh*tty splitscreen.Why? There's nothing to look at in the other screen. It makes no sense. Savage says he might not be able to wrestle right now, but it doesn't say anything about managing. So he will be in the corner of Mongo & Kevin Greene at the Great American Bash. Heenan tries to talk Savage out of it, but Savage is having none of it. We go back to that pesky wrestling match while Rick Steiner works over Luger with an armbar. Steiner follows up with a jumping clothesline before hitting a top rope belly-to-belly suplex. Luger is able to make the tag and hits a Stinger Splash on Steiner before locking in the Scorpion Death Lock. However, Scott Steiner runs in and breaks up the hold before Scott tags in. Steiner hits a twisting belly-to-belly suplex on Sting before setting Sting up on the top rope for a Super Frankensteiner, only for Luger to break up the pin. Steiner goes for a suplex, but Sting lands on his feet and hits an inverted DDT. Luger gets the tag and hit a powerslam before locking in the Torture Rack on Steiner. However, Rick breaks it up before Luger & Scott fight to the outside. Luger tries to suplex Scott Steiner on the outside, but Rick Steiner runs over and kicks Luger in the gut like Luger did last week. All four men brawl until the Giant comes down. Giant delivers a terrible chokeslam to Rick Steiner on the outside as Luger throws Scott Steiner out of the ring. Luger & Giant fight in the ring until Scott Steiner & Sting run in and help Luger fend off the Giant.
- We close the show with Scott Hall walking up to the commentary booth from the crowd. Hall says that Bischoff started this and now "we" are going to finish it. Sting steps in and says Hall said some horrible things about WCW and challenges Hall to a fight right now. Hall accepts...but not now. Nobody tells him what to do or when to do it. Hall flicks his toothpick at Sting, so Sting slaps him. The two are seperated by security before Hall says he's got a big surprise next week.
RAW: 15
Nitro: 20
That's it for this edition of RAW vs Nitro. Stay tuned for the next one!
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