- IT'S A NEW DAY, YES IT IS! We kick of the show with the New Day. They talk about the Fatal 4-Way Tag Team Championship match before Xavier & Big E insults Kofi's new Steph Curry 2s (I can't blame them). They are interrupted by Enzo & Cass, who say they're cool with everything the New Day does and calls their unicorn horn vibrators. before Cass throws more shade at Kofi's shoes...good. Cass then basically implies that Enzo f*cked Francessca the trombone. That is not a joke. I guess Xavier admits he also f*cks the trombone. This talk of trombone f*cking brings out the Vaudevillians (I guess). English sings about how he and Gotch will win the Tag Team Championships at Money in the Bank. This brings out Gallows & Anderson, and Gallows drops a New Orleans Saints diss because that's not at all topical at the moment. Cass calls them S-A-W-F-T SAWFT! and that ends the segment.
- Seriously though, look at these shoes!:
I know it's an old joke but...WHAT ARE THOSE! IS STEPHEN CURRY A MIDDLE AGED DAD ALL OF A SUDDEN? THOSE LOOK LIKE SKETCHERS WITH AN UNDER ARMOUR LOGO ON 'EM! STEPH CURRY, YOUR Q-TIP LOOKIN ASS NEEDS TO STEP YOUR SHOE GAME UP, BOI!
- Kofi Kingston, Big E, Enzo Amore, and Colin Cassady vs The Vaudevillians & The Club-The match kicks off with Kofi & English, but they quickly tag out and bring in Big E & Gotch. The New Day do the Unicorn Stampede on Gotch before Enzo tags in. This allows the heels to take control, as they take turn beating down Enzo. Despite hitting a nice tilt-a-whirl headscissors, English is able to momentarily block Enzo from making the tag. He eventually does and Big Cass runs wild, taking out the heels and allowing Kofi to hit a tope over the ring post on the Vaudevillians before the commercial break. We come back with Big E locking an abdominal stretch on Gotch. Gotch goes for a sunset flip, which he counters and then does his hip swivel. It was funny. The heels regain the advantage and beat down Big E until he dodges a splash by Gallows. Big E makes the hot tag and Kofi runs wild, hitting the Boom Drop on Anderson and calls for Trouble in Paradise. Anderson dodges, but Kofi hits a diving crossbody and Gotch breaks up the pin. Chaos ensues and everyone gets their spots in, ending with Anderson stopping a Kofi-tope and hitting the Magic Killer with Gallows for the win. Good match, very enjoyable.
- We get one of those "Make Darren Young Great Again" that I haven't talked about because they were always repeats of stuff on SmackDown. All I'm going to say is this...Bob Backlund is awesome, so I like the segments.
- Backstage, Stephanie and Shane bicker about Shane not being on RAW, and then bicker about who's going to run RAW and SmackDown. Stephanie says she wants run both, and they are interrupted by Kane...Director of Operations Kane. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...Boo. He proposes he run SmackDown, and even has a reference...from the Undertaker. That was kind of funny
- Also backstage, Zack Ryder laughs about Sheamus getting punched on SmackDown by Apollo Crews (what a douche) with small guys when Sheamus walks up. He says he's going to beat up Ryder tonight in their match. Ryder fakes out Sheamus by saying Apollo is behind him and runs off.
- Primo & Epico...f*ck off.
- Titus O'Neil vs-Never mind, Rusev throws him off the stage. He then superkicks him Titus in the back of the head and locks in an Accolade on the ramp.
- It's time for the Ambrose Asylum! Huh? That's weird, I thought Stephanie cancelled the Ambrose Asylum, but whatever. If it happened more than a month ago then it doesn't matter anymore, right? I honestly don't know how they can even do an Ambrose Asylum without the vitally important Mitch the Plant Anyway, Ambrose brings out Rollins & Reigns. They talk about how great the Shield was, which just depresses me because the Shield isn't together anymore. Rollins says his favorite Shield moments were when he broke up the Shield and when he cashed in on Reigns. Reigns says he's going to beat Rollins, and Rollins says Reigns only has the title because his knee gave out from carrying WWE on his back. He says Reigns earned the belt, but that Reigns still hasn't beat him. I'm pretty sure that's not right. Rollins says Reigns would be nothing without him. Reigns says Rollins stole his moments from him, that him & Ambrose carried him, and that he'll beat Rollins at Money in the Bank. Ambrose then adds that he might win the Money in the Bank contract, cash in that night, and win the WWE Championship. Rollins shoves Ambrose into Reigns. The three fight, ending with Reigns hitting Rollins with a Superman Punch and Ambrose planting Reigns with Dirty Deeds to end the segment. Good talking segment, really picked up when they started talking about the match and stopped talking about how great the Shield was. But now I'm fairly certain Ambrose isn't winning Money in the Bank. They've made it too obvious a choice now. I think they'll go with someone else.
- That was 6 segments without wrestling in a row, by the way.
- Backstage, Stephanie confronts Dean Ambrose and tells him he'll be facing Chris Jericho in the main event. That's 7.
- Paige vs Charlotte with Becky Lynch & Charlotte on commentary-Oh look, wrestling. No entrances for either woman, though. IT'S A NEW ERA, MAGGLE! The two go back and forth the entire match, Charlotte does a Flair Flop, and gets booted from the ring going for the Figure 8. She gets back in, only to eat a superkick and a Ram-Paige for a win for Paige. The champion takes a clean pinfall loss before a pay-per-view...IT'S A NEW ERA, MAGGLE!
- Backstage, Renee Young interviews Cesaro about his match with Sami Zayn tonight. Zayn shows up "just in case she needs him", and Cesaro complains about how unprofessional he is being. Cesaro says Zayn has a lot to prove, and he should prove it tonight.
- Backstage, Charlotte yells at Dana for costing her the match against Paige. She calls Dana her "assistant" on accident.
- Sheamus vs Zack Ryder-No entrances either. Sheamus pummels Ryder to start, hitting the Beats of the Bodhran and tossing him outside. Ryder gains momentum, hits a Broski Boot and hits an El-Bro drop, but Shemaus kicks out at 2. Sheamus sends Ryder into the turnbuckle off a Rough Ryder attempt and hits the Brogue Kick for the win....they aren't going to do anything with Ryder, are they? He keeps beating up Ryder, but Crews makes the save, showing lots of babyface fire. Hopefully this feud is what Crews needs to get the crowd behind him.
- Backstage...again, Kevin Owens interrupts Kane and Shane (rhymes) and says Del Rio only showed up 20 minutes ago, which he says is unprofessional, and asks for him to be taken out of the Money in the Bank match. Del Rio barges in and says Owens made airport security hold him up for 5 hours. They yell at each other in other languages before Kane barges in and suggests a team building exercise. He suggests having them tag together against the Lucha Dragons with their Money in the Bank spots on the line. Shane agrees, and books the match.
- Sami Zayn vs Cesaro-The two go back and forth to start before Zayn hits a tilt-a-whirl headscissors. Cesaro is able to take control, blocking a springboard attempt with an uppercut before the commercial break. We come back the two going back and forth again before Zayn hits a crossbody for a two count. Cesaro starts the Uppercut Train and calls for the Swing, but Zayn escapes before Cesaro stomps him for a two count. Zayn comes back with a big clothesline, and hits a Michinoku Driver for a two count. Zayn goes to the top rope, but Cesaro catches him and hits a apron superplex for a two. After a series of reversals, Zayn hits a sunset flip powerbomb for the shock win. Good match, but I feel it didn't go long enough.
- It's time to sign the contract for John Cena vs AJ Styles at Money in the Bank. Cena comes out first and hypes up Money in the Bank. He says the WWE kept telling Styles he didn't belong in WWE, and that he respects Styles for not quitting. He name drops PWG, Ring of Honor, and New Japan (no TNA because "LOL TNA"), and calls out Styles. Styles comes out and says he turned Cena's world upside down two weeks ago, and he'll do it again at Money in the Bank. He says Cena can't beat him, and asks where to sign. Cena shows him two contracts; one with Cena vs Styles, and one with Cena vs Styles, with the Club at ringside. Cena says whichever one he signs is the match they have at Money in the Bank. Styles says if he was in WWE 15 years ago, Cena wouldn't be the face of WWE, he would. Cena tells him to shut up, and says all Styles does is whine. He says he has the chance to prove he belonged in WWE, or to prove he's a coward. Styles signs the the contract for the straight singles match, and says Cena's time is up, and his time is now.
- Alberto Del Rio & Kevin Owens vs The Lucha Dragons-Del Rio and Kalisto kick off with Del Rio pummeling Kalisto, almost getting disqualified. Owens and Del Rio argue due to almost getting DQ'd. The two keep fighting until the Lucha Dragons dropkick them from the ring and hit tandem suicide dives before the commercial break. We come back as Kalisto hits a seated senton on Del Rio, only to eat a clothesline from him soon after. Owens tags in hits a senton, only for Del Rio to blind tag and make the cover for a two. The two argue, allowing Kalisto to almost make the tag. Del Rio stops him, but Kalisto hits a Salida Del Sol. Del Rio rolls out of the ring before Kalisto can pin. Sin Cara tags in and hits a Swanton Bomb, but Owens breaks up the pin. Owens drags Del Rio over and makes the tag, but Sin Cara runs wild. Sin Cara almost gets the roll up, but Owens is able to hit a Pop Up Powerbomb for the win. Fine match. Afterwards, Del Rio superkicks Owens.
- Backstage, Kevin Owens complains to Stephanie about having to risk his Money in the Bank spot, and drops the ball that Sami Zayn will be on commentary for the Ambrose/Jericho match tonight, and wants to be on commentary too, and Stephanie lets him. Del Rio interrupts and says he wants to be out for the match too, so Stephanie makes him guest timekeeper.
- Also backstage, Stephanie and Shane bicker about the main event. with Shane making Cesaro special guest ring announcer. Shane says he's been bonding with Kane, who shows up, and they tell him he won't be working on SmackDown. Kane asks if it was because of the time he electrocuted Shane's balls, which made me laugh.
- Chris Jericho vs Dean Ambrose with Sami Zayn & Kevin Owens on commentary, special guest ring announcer Cesaro, and special guest timekeeper Alberto Del Rio-I see no way this could go wrong. Cesaro says Jericho is from Stupid Idiotville and that Ambrose looks like he just rolled out of bed. Owens is still the best on commentary. Ambrose and Jericho go back and forth before Ambrose hits a clothesline and a suplex. Ambrose throws Jericho over the top rope and hits a suicide dive, which Owens sarcastically congratulates. Ambrose argues with Owens, allowing Jericho to take control. Ambrose blocks the Walls of Jericho attempt, only to take an enziguri. Owens & Zayn leave commentary, only for Cesaro and Del Rio to walk up to before the commercial break. We come back with who really cares, this match is a huge afterthought to what's going on at ringside. Ambrose and Jericho go back and forth before Jericho locks in the Walls of Jericho, but Ambrose gets to the ropes. Ambrose misses a dropkick, allowing Jericho to hit a Lionsault for a two count. Ambrose hits a diving elbow drop for a two count. The two go back forth before Ambrose blocks a Codebreaker and hits Dirty Deeds for the win. Decent match that was overshadowed by everything at ringside. Afterwards, chaos ensues, everyone gets their spots in, and Owens grabs a ladder. Zayn dives off the top rope, taking out everyone. Jericho then sets up the ladder, climbs up and grabs the breifcase to end the show.
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