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Worst in the World: Jenna Morasca vs Sharmell-Victory Road 2009

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This...is it. There is no way there can be a worse match than this. I've seen this match once before, and I knew how bad it was, and it was still incredibly difficult for me to go back and watch this. Do you want to know how difficult it was? Let me put it this way: I'm not exactly a social person. In fact, I've got got pretty bad social anxiety. In my senior year of high school, it was around the time for prom and I wanted to ask this girl to go with me. After a long time trying to rack up the courage to do so, I finally did. Doing that was a thousand times easier than watching this match again. But it came up on the list, and now...it's time. Brace yourselves. Ladies and gentlemen...
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Jenna Morasca vs Sharmell
The infamous match coming from Victory Road 2009, a show that's only redeeming quality was it's poster, this match pits two non wrestlers against each other, one of which wasn't even involved in the wrestling to begin with. It's Sharmell, Booker T's wife and valet, versus Jenna Morasca. Jenna Morasca is famous for winning on Survivor...in 2003, six years before this match took place. She is not a wrestler, Sharmell is not a wrestler. Why are they in a wrestling together? That is an excellent question...I wish I knew. Vince Russo worked for TNA at the time, so that should be some indication of why this happened. There's no more stalling I can do. Let's get into the match that won Worst Match of the Year in 2009 and Bryan Alvarez gave "MINUS FIVE STARS!", this is Jenna Morasca vs Sharmell.
Sharmell comes out first:
What the f*ck is she wearing. Seriously, is she wrestling in a f*cking evening gown. Let me check, this is the Beautiful People before an evening gown match:
Yeah, she is wrestling in an evening gown. WHY? WHY? WHY? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?...why? Anyway, she gets in the ring and Sojo Bolt is in the ring already. I guess she's Sharmell's trainer or something. Next out is Awesome Kong, who, according to the commentators, trained Jenna. Just remember that, Kong "trained" Jenna in storyline. Kong should have been fired for that job. In fact, she should have been arrested for that. What charge? Crimes against humanity.
And then the "guest of honor" comes out...Survivor Jenna. First off, her entrance theme, which is "I WILL, I WILL SURVIVE" repeated over and over again. It's annoying. Second, she has by far, to paraphrase Bryan Alvarez, "the lewdest entrance" in wrestling history. There's doing an entrance to show off a woman's ass...and then there's this:
To quote Vinny from the Bryan & Vinny show: "It was entrance designed to show off her a**hole, not just the ass, but her actual tunnel." Sharmell looks absolutely disgusted afterwards:
So the match finally starts and after posing and ass shaking, the two lock up. Jenna can't do that right and locks up so loose it's comical. Jenna proceeds to corpse her way through the match, acting like she just got hit by a bus after a forearm to the back. After some terrible offense by Sharmell, Sharmell throws Jenna into the ropes, which she hits daintily Kelly Kelly-style, and corpses after a back elbow. She can't even kick out a pin attempt correctly, just kind of flailing her limbs around until Sharmell got off of her. I wish Sharmell would have just gone into business for herself and kept her down for three.
Jenna dodges another back elbow and hits a horrible crossbody after horribly running the ropes, but Sharmell keeps the heat and starts slapping the back of Jenna's head, missing every single slap. Jenna fights back by hitting a jawbreaker, and after a messy exchange, gets tripped up by Sojo, which she corpses after. She corpses after every single move. She's so bad. I can't even comprehend how bad she is. And I'm not giving her a break because she's a "celebrity", because celebrities in wrestling aren't even this bad. Snooki at WrestleMania 27 was better than this...SNOOKI!!!
So after a double team spot, Jenna proceeds to deliver THE. WORST. SLAPS...EVER!
I...I...I need to look back and reflect on the choices I've made in life that have brought me to this very moment. What did I do to deserve this?
Jenna does a horrible spear and hits more horrible slaps
This leads to a catfight spot where Jenna and Sharmell roll over the referee Earl Hebner. He deserves so much better than this. No referee deserves this. Nick Patrick doesn't even deserve this. Jenna pulls some of Sharmell's hair out and taunts her with it, which prompts Sojo to climb up onto the ring top rope. Sharmell charges at Jenna, who dodges and sends her into Sojo. Sojo falls back onto Kong, who fails to catch her and she falls on the floor hard.
Jenna gives Kong the hair and she taunts Sharmell with it. Sharmell begs for the hair back, so Kong gives it to her, and proceeds to karate chop her in the neck. You'd think Jenna would just go for the win, but...sort of. Instead of just pinning her, Jenna, to quote Bryan Alvarez again, "proceeded to do a lap dance on her face and pin her with her vagina."
How none of this got a "Fire Russo" chant, I'll never know. This gets the three and the win. After the match, Jenna, who had gotten beaten down 2-on-1, made the babyface comeback, and had the babyface in her corner, started demanding that Kong put her on her shoulder and carry her around the ring. She slapped Kong, so Kong threw her down and splashed her. That redeems Kong's crime against humanity of kayfabe "training" her.

The Verdict

Everything is awful and I hate wrestling now. This is, without a doubt, the worst match I've ever seen. Even worse than the Villanos-Clowns match from Triplemania. So much worse. This match is bad from start to finish. There's horrible offense, horrible selling, no psychology, and zero entertainment value. Jenna Morasca should never have been anywhere near a wrestling ring. She shouldn't even be in the same building as a wrestling ring. She had without a doubt the worst performance of anyone I've ever seen in a wrestling match. This is bad even by celebrity standards. This entire match was just insulting to wrestling fans, period.

Rankings (Best to Worst)

  1.  Too Much vs Al Snow & Head-King of the Ring 1998
  2. Vampiro vs Sting-Great American Bash 2000
  3. T&A vs Head Cheese-WrestleMania 2000
  4. Konnan vs One Man Gang-SuperBrawl VI
  5. Ultimate Warrior vs Hercules-WrestleMania IV
  6. Rick Rude vs Hawk-Clash of the Champions XXV
  7. Shelton Benjamin vs Viscera-New Year's Revolution 2006
  8. The Chamber of Horrors-Halloween Havoc 1991
  9. The Natural Disasters vs Money Inc.-WrestleMania VIII
  10. ODB, Taylor Wilde, and Roxxi vs The Kongtourage-Genesis 2009
  11. Nikita Koloff vs Bobby Eaton-Bunkhouse Stampede
  12. Total Divas vs Other Divas-Survivor Series 2013
  13. The Oddities vs Kaientai-SummerSlam 1998
  14. Hulk Hogan vs Sid Justice-WrestleMania VIII
  15. Dusty Rhodes vs Big Boss Man-Saturday Night's Main Event (10/31/1989)
  16. Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Hog Wild
  17. Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Souled Out 1997
  18. Dustin Rhodes & King Kong vs Awesome Kong & The Equalizer-Battlebowl
  19. Jake Roberts vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania V
  20. Sting & Hawk vs Meng & Kurasawa-Clash of the Champions XXXI
  21. Hulk Hogan vs Randy Savage-Uncensored 1998
  22. Al Snow vs Big Boss Man-Unforgiven 1999
  23. Mickie James vs Ashley-Royal Rumble 2006
  24. Christy Hemme vs Big Fat Oily Guy-Against All Odds 2007
  25. Team WCW vs nWo Wolfpac vs nWo Hollywood-Fall Brawl 1998
  26. Vampiro vs Oklahoma-Starrcade 1999
  27. Hulk Hogan vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania III
  28. Junkyard Dog vs Moondog Spot-Wrestling Classic
  29. Hiroshi Wajima vs Tom Magee-All Japan Pro Wrestling 1988
  30. Jim Steele vs The Equalizer-SuperBrawl IV
  31. Edge vs Triple H vs Vladimir Kozlov-Survivor Series 2008
  32. Kevin Sullivan vs Dave Sullivan-SuperBrawl V
  33. Steve McMichael vs Brian Adams-Road Wild 1998
  34. Scott Hall vs Roddy Piper-SuperBrawl IX
  35. Scott Steiner vs Sid Vicious vs Jeff Jarrett vs Road Warrior Animal-Sin
  36. Hollywood Hogan vs Roddy Piper-SuperBrawl 1997
  37. Batista vs The Great Khali-SummerSlam 2007
  38.  Sable vs Tori-WrestleMania XV
  39. Sid Vicious vs The Nightstalker-Clash of the Champions XIII
  40. The 8-Divas Tag Match-Survivor Series 1999
  41. Rick Rude vs Masahiro Chono-Halloween Havoc 1992
  42. Mike Awesome vs Vampiro-Halloween Havoc 2000
  43. Greg Valentine vs George Steele-Heroes of Wrestling
  44. Abdullah the Butcher vs One Man Gang-Heroes of Wrestling
  45. Hollywood Hogan vs The Warrior-Halloween Havoc 1998
  46. The Royal Family vs Clowns R' Us-Survivor Series 1994
  47. Sting vs Jeff Hardy-Victory Road 2011
  48. Ultimate Warrior vs Andre the Giant-Saturday Night's Main Event (11/25/1989)
  49. The Doomsday Cage Match-Uncensored 1996 
  50. Kaitlyn vs Maxine-NXT (10/19/10)
  51. Sabu vs The Sandman-November to Remember 1997
  52. James Storm vs Chris Harris-Lockdown 2007
  53. John Laurinaitis vs John Cena-Over the Limit 2012
  54. Los Villanos vs Los Psycho Circus-Triplemania XXIII
  55. Jenna Morasca vs Sharmell-Victory Road 2009
Well, that was the one I've dreading having to go back to. Glad I finally got past it. What's next on the list...
Ivory and Tori? This can't be that bad...right?
Thanks for reading. Be sure to share if you enjoyed. Also, check out my Patreon
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Comments

  1. genocide_cutterJanuary 23, 2018 at 6:23 PM

    An Jenna got paid like $500,000 for that match too.

    ReplyDelete
  2. FrostApril 5, 2021 at 9:59 AM

    I've read through a lot of the "Worst in the World" posts you have done. I've read this one a few times, along with the AAA disaster a few years back. Earlier today, I watched that Villanos vs Psycho Circus match and had to ask myself, "This guy really thinks that TNA match could be worse than THIS?!"
    I have now watched the Jenna vs Sharmell match. Oh. My. Goodness. They somehow managed to put on a worse spectacle than the atrocity at Triplemania 23. I don't know how much blame Sharmell should get, and I know a lot of the WWE girls get trashed for only being "pretty girls" with no ring skill, but Jenna is quite possibly the single worst performer to ever take part in a wrestling match. It is truly a shame that Kurt Angle, Mick Foley, Sting, Samoa Joe, AJ Styles, Kevin Nash, and Booker T had to perform in the same ring she did.

    ReplyDelete

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