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My Thoughts on RAW (6/6/16): Science, I've Heard of That

  • We kick off the show with everyone in the Money in the Bank match sitting on top of ladders. It is such a strange visual.  They all say they're going to win Money in the Bank, with Owens named dropping Waylon Mercy because he's great. Zayn says he'll win the briefcase, then the title and defend it against anyone. Ambrose says he'll fight a polar bear. Cesaro makes fun of Jericho for never winning Money in the Bank, which he argues that he one the first one...or the sixth one...it was great. Jericho ends the segment by saying he's giving everyone the gift of Jericho. Everyone fights and outcomes TEDDY LONG! HOLLA HOLLA! You all know why he's there. He bumbles through his promo and says a bunch of stuff. Stephanie McMahon comes out and says what Teddy said made zero sense (she's right), and Teddy says he wants to run SmackDown. Stephanie says they haven't made any decisions yet, and Teddy says he wants to talk to Shane. Stephanie says he's on vacation, and tells Teddy to leave. He does, and Stephanie won't let his music play. She sets up Zayn vs Del Rio, Ambrose vs Owens, and Jericho vs Cesaro up next. She asks for Long's music to play, and she awkward white girl dances to the back. I enjoyed it, I thought it was an entertaining opening. But I'm just going to say it, how can you have Teddy Long show up and not have him make a single tag match? THAT'S HIS THING!
  • Chris Jericho vs Cesaro-Starting during commercial, Cesaro & Jericho go back and forth when the show comes back before Cesaro hits a huge tilt a whirl back breaker. Cesaro continues to take control with a senton off the apron and running uppercut into the barricade outside the ring. Jericho is able to halt the momentum with a dropkick off a flying nothing by Cesaro before a commercial break. We come back Cesaro laying in uppercuts on Jericho before starting up his Uppercut Train. Jericho reverses one, gets tossed onto the apron and goes to the top, only to eat another uppercut. Cesaro starts the Cesaro Swing, but Jericho counters it mid-swing and almost gets a roll up win. Cesaro goes for a springboard uppercut, but Jericho counters it with a Codebreaker. Cesaro rolls out of the ring, allowing him enough time to kick out when Jericho rolls him back in the ring. Cesaro stops Jericho from going to the top rope and hits an apron superplex. Jericho hits a single leg drop kick from the top rope for a two count. The two go back and forth before Cesaro goes for the Neutralizer, but Jericho reverses it. Jericho locks in the Walls of Jericho, but Cesaro reverses that and starts the Cesaro Swing, locking in the Sharpshooter afterwards for the submission win. Fine match, but it looked a little sloppy at times in my opinion.
  • Rusev vs Jack Swagger with Titus O'Neil on commentary-RAW is in Oklahoma, so they got to get Swags out for his yearly pop. Please murk him, Rusev. After getting the shit kicked out of him for a long time, Swagger makes a comeback and locks in the Patriot Lock, but Rusev rolls out and leaves the ring. Swagger & Rusev do a double clothesline spot on the outside, and Rusev shoves Swagger into Titus for the count-out win. Swagger and Rusev go back in the ring and double team Rusev. 
  • Outcomes John Cena. He cuts his normal John Cena "Rowdy crowd tonight/Some people like me, some people don't" promo that you've heard a thousand times. Outcomes the Club, and Styles says that everything he did was planned out, and rips Cena a new one. Styles says Cena insults him when he wrestles, and that he is better than Cena. He says Cena doesn't want to be in the ring with him. As normal, Cena brushes off all the insults and says Styles failed at everything he's done in WWE and calls him a bust, which some fans boo. The top guy berating him on air, that'll get him over! Styles says he would sell out anywhere in the world and that he has nothing left to prove or lose. Styles straight up says Cena buries people, and Gallows and Anderson are his insurance policy. The Club goes down to the ring and surround Cena, but the New Day runs down to make the save. Good segment, but f*ck John Cena. Seriously, spent the majority of the interaction between him and Styles saying he sucked.
  • The Vaudevillians vs Enzo Amore & Colin Cassady-Pre-match, Big Cass and Enzo cut another great promo where they quote Muhammad Ali. Enzo and Gotch kick off and the Vaudevillians quickly get the heat on Enzo. Enzo is able to make a tag despite Gotch catching him and Cass runs wild, splashing Gotch in the corner and hitting an Empire Elbow, but English breaks up the pin. English tosses Enzo into the ropes the same way Gotch did at Payback and yells "THIS TIME, STAY DOWN YOU PUNK!" This drives Cass mad, who beats down English in the corner before he gets disqualified. He continues destroying the Vaudevillians, ending with a East River Crossing on Gotch
  • Backstage, Tom Phillips interviews Sami Zayn. Zayn says he's the underdog tonight because Del Rio has won Money in the Bank before, but he knows he can beat him. Del Rio interrupts him and says people like Zayn don't become champion
  • Backstage, Stephanie McMahon is approached by Teddy Long dancing to his entrance music on his phone. He makes the plea to run SmackDown again, and pitches a Fatal 4-Way Tag match for the Tag Team Championships at Money in the Bank. Stephanie wonders how Teddy got passed security, and he says he paid them off. Stephanie tells him to leave and books the match he suggested: New Day vs The Club vs Enzo & Cass vs The Vaudevillians for the titles at Money in the Bank.
  • Sami Zayn vs Alberto Del Rio-The match kicks off with some back and forth fighting, ending with a moonsault off the barricade on the outside by Zayn before the commercial. We come back with Del Rio getting the heat on Zayn with a headlock. Zayn fights back and gets a near fall with a diving crossbody. Del Rio reverses a suplex for a back stabber for a two count and goes for a superkick. Zayn counters, but Del Rio connects on the second try. Zayn makes the comeback with a big clothesline and calls for the Helluva Kick, but Del Rio blocks it by getting his feet up. Del Rio tries for a reverse superplex, but Zayn blocks it, only for Del Rio to hit an enziguri. In perfect place for the double stomp, Del Rio calls for it, but Zayn pulls him off the top rope. Del Rio keeps him in place and hits the superkick, allowing him to finish him with the double stomp for the win. Del Rio should not be beating Sami Zayn...ever. Fine match, nothing special.
  • Backstage, Dean Ambrose and Kevin Owens talk about their match tonight. Owens says he's concerned about Ambrose because he seems "off the deep end" more than usual. Ambrose lists off all the times he beat Owens in the past year, and Owens says he needs help, and Ambrose says it back to him.
  • Dean Ambrose vs Kevin Owens-Match kicks off with Ambrose clotheslining Owens until he rolls out of the ring. The two brawl outside the ring for a bit before going back in the ring, and Ambrose hits a back suplex. Owens counters a Dirty Deeds and hits an enziguri, taking control with stomps. The two continue to brawl, with Owens countering a rebound lariat with a superkick for a two count. The two go back and forth some more before Ambrose takes control with a clothesline. Owens knocks Ambrose off the top by hitting the ropes and hits a cannonball for a two count. Ambrose goes for a suicide dive, but Owens catches him and tosses him into the barricade before hitting a frog splash from the apron. Ambrose hits Dirty Deeds out of nowhere for the win. Good match, these two are always good together. Afterwards, Ambrose grabs a ladder and climbs to grab the Money in the Bank briefcase, but Owens knocks the ladder down. Owens sets it up but doesn't climb, yells "THIS IS MINE" and leaves.
  • Outcomes Charlotte & Dana Brooke. Charlotte apologizes for what she said to Ric Flair, but she adds that she needed to say it. She says Flair was "dead to her...professionally", but she still wants to do things with her. Outcomes Natalya & Becky Lynch, who doubt Charlotte and say she's full of sh*t (literally...sort of). Charlotte insults the Harts, and Natalya says her family isn't perfect (cough cough Teddy Hart cough), but Becky interrupts her and basically says Charlotte sucks. Natalya tells Dana to watch out for Charlotte, and she and Becky tell her about how Charlotte uses people. Dana starts to move to Nattie and Becky's side, but blindsides them. Charlotte & Dana beat down Becky & Nattie.to end the segment.
  • Primo & Epico showed up. (Insert rant from last week)
  • Tyler Breeze vs R-Truh-First off...that backstage segment. Stop reading and go to the next part when this gets too bizarre: Tyler Breeze is shaving Fandango's back (...really, you're still reading? OK) and Breeze tells him about how he had all his hair follicles on his body removed (...seriously, you're still reading? Really?) and Fandango says it would make him more "Aero-Gigantic", says it's science, and Breeze says "Oh yeah, science. I've heard of that." It was so bizarre. But seriously, how is Tyler Breeze not used more? Oh yeah, the match. It ends in like a minute with a DQ. Teddy Long comes out and tries to make it a TAG TEAM MATCH PLAYAS! but security kicks him out. Who keeps playing Teddy's music if he's not supposed to be there?
  • Backstage, Teddy is getting kicked out by security, and Stephanie berates him. I'm just curious how the writing process for this segment went down. "Hey, why is this part of the show?" "Stephanie said to put it in" "Why? It doesn't do anything for the show" "...Stephanie gets over?" "Yeah, Stephanie gets over."
  • The Club vs The New Day-Pre-match, New Day mocks Gallows & Anderson for being bald, and say the Club's club doesn't matter. Before the match starts, the teams start brawling, leaving Styles and Woods in the ring. Gallows & Anderson take out Kofi & Big E on the outside, and after hitting a tope on Gallows, Woods gets taken out by Anderson and eats a Styles Clash on the floor. After a commercial break, Woods gets taken to the back, leaving New Day at a 2-on-3 disadvantage. Kofi and Anderson start, going back and forth before Big E gets tagged in. The New Day work over Anderson, but the Club use the numbers game to take control. The crowd starts chanting for Cena to come out. The Club works over Big E until he dodges an elbow drop by Gallows, followed by dodging another by Anderson. Kofi gets the tag and runs wild on Styles and calls for the Trouble in Paradise, but the Club  distracts him and allows Styles to take control. Kofi reverses a Styles Clash into an SOS, but the Club breaks it up. Brawling ensues, and Styles wins with a Phenomenal Forearm. Great match, New Day got the crowd behind them big for this one. Post match, the Club beat down the New Day when Cena runs to make the save. Styles ducks out of the ring, but a distraction allows Styles to blindside him and beat him down. Kofi flies in with a dropkick for styles, Big E hits the Big Ending on Anderson, and Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on Gallows to close the show.
  • And that's about it. Overall, a fairly good RAW. Some good moments like the main event and the funny little Teddy Long segments, but there was a lot of just "ehhh." stuff on the show.
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