RAW
- Isaac Yankem D.D.S vs Jake Roberts-We kick off the show with the RAW return of Jake "The Snake" Roberts, taking on the evil dentist. How is this gimmick still around? The two trade blows to start before Roberts hits a hip toss and a knee lift. Roberts goes for the short-arm clothesline, but Yankem avoids it and hits a clothesline of his own. Yankem beats down on Roberts and calls for the DDS. However, Roberts blocks it by holding the ropes and hits the DDT for the win. Pretty poor match, nothing really worth talking about.
- We get another vignette for the return of the Ultimate Warrior, showing fans asking for Roddy Piper to bring back the Warrior.
- Diesel vs Bob Holly-Diesel starts off in control, shoving Holly off when he tries to do the 10 punches in the corner. Diesel looks around the ring to make sure the Undertaker isn't going to come out throughout the match, even checking certain spots of the ring to make sure Taker won't pop out from under the ring. Diesel continues to pummel Sparky Plug until Holly hits him with a dropkick. Holly is able to clothesline Diesel to the ground before the commercial break. When we come back, Diesel hits a Jackknife for the win. When Diesel makes his way up the ramp, the gong hits and the lights go out, and the Undertaker is in the ring when they come back on. Diesel makes his way back towards the ring, only for the lights to go out again. When they come back on, Taker is gone. The gong hits again and the lights go out again before the Undertaker appears on the big screen. He says he is the master of mind games and that he will see him at the dark side.
- Next week, Bret Hart faces Hunter Hearst Helmsley and Shawn Michaels faces the 1-2-3 Kid.
- Ahmed Johnson vs Shinobi-This is Al Snow.Remember when he was Avatar? Well, that sucked, so now he's a ninja, complete with super generic/stereotypical Chinese entrance music. Also, he wears three masks for some reason. During the match, the commentators get Goldust on the phone, and he recites a lewd poem for Roddy Piper. So, just like his last match, Al Snow botches his one big move, slipping off the ropes when he goes for a springboard. Maybe he should stop trying springboards? Just a thought. Johnson finishes the match with the Pearl River Plunge for the win. But don't worry, this won't be the last terrible Al Snow gimmick will be seeing in RAW vs Nitro
- We get another Mankind vignette, where he talks about his mother to his pet rat George before saying he's suffering.
- Vince McMahon brings out Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart for a face-to-face interview. Jerry Lawler says all the girls in the crowd are going crazy for Shawn Michaels during his entrance, as the camera shows a woman who looks like she couldn't be any more bored right now.Michaels says no one has more respect for Bret Hart than himself and says he might be the best there ever will be. However, he says he is better than Hart right now. Hart says Michaels is one the best wrestlers he's ever seen and looks forward to showing everyone why he is the best there is. The crowd gives off a mixed reaction before Hart says Michaels has to beat him, he doesn't have to beat Michaels. He says Michaels is in for the biggest fight of his life before they talk about how great of shape they are both in, Suddenly, Roddy Piper comes down to the ring and says he doesn't like it when people boo Hart & Michaels before putting both of them over on the mic. Piper then announces that to find out who is truly the best of the two, their match at WrestleMania XII will be a 60-Minute Iron Man match for the WWF Championship. The two shake hands to close out the segment.
- Jim Ross plugs the WWF Superstar Hotline. What's odd about this is that I'm pretty sure they used Lex Luger's entrance theme in the background.
- Yokozuna vs Owen Hart & The British Bulldog with Jim Cornette-Hart starts off against Yokozuna, using his speed to avoid him until Yokozuna catches him with an elbow. Yokozuna follows that up with a bodyslam and a clothesline before Hart tags in Bulldog. Bulldog doesn't fare much better, eating a bodyslam before Yokozuna back body drops Hart. Bulldog is able to avoid a charging Yokozuna, allowing Hart to missile dropkick. The two beat down Yokozuna while Cornette distracts the referee before the commercial break. We come back to Hart & Bulldog continuing to beat down Yokozuna until Yokozuna dodges a top rope splash from Hart. Unfortunately for Yokozuna, Vader comes down to the ring as Yokozuna beats down Hart & Bulldog. Cornette convinces Vader to hold off on the attack until Hart & Bulldog are in trouble, after which Vader gets in the ring and clotheslines Yokozuna for the DQ. Camp Cornette proceeds to beat down Yokozuna until Ahmed Johnson & Jake Roberts come down to the ring. Johnson & Roberts send Hart & Bulldog out of the ring before Roberts scares Vader out of the ring with his snake named "Revelations".
- We get another "Larry Fling Live" skit. Larry Fling interviews the Huckster and the Nacho Man, who say they left the WWF because they couldn't keep up with the New Generation. At one point, the Huckster threatens to hit Fling with a chair, so Fling pulls out a woman's shoe, the deadliest weapon in wrestling, of course.Huckster & Nacho Man argue over who is going to win their match at WrestleMania, and Hucker hits people with a chair to close the show.
That's it for RAW, onto Nitro!
Nitro
- Big Bubba Rogers vs Sting-Before this match, Eric Bischoff actually reads out the results of this episode of RAW because it was taped. This is why I review Nitro last each time. Bubba forces Sting into the corner, but politely lets him out and offers him a handshake. Sting instead slaps him, hits a drop-toe hold and a bulldog. Bubba responds with an atomic drop, a body guillotine, and a slap for a near fall. Sting fights back, but Bubba catches him when he leaps at him and hits a spinebuster for a few near falls. Bubba tries to ram Sting's head into the turnbuckle, but Sting blocks it, only to get whipped into the opposite corner and get hit with a Stinger Splash in the corner followed by a punch. Bubba continues to beat down Sting until Sting hits a piledriver. The two trade blows before Sting goes for a splash out of the corner, but Bubba blocks it with his knees and throws Sting out of the ring. Bubba goes to the top rope, but Sting yanks him down before going up there himself and hitting a crossbody for the win. Alright match, nothing really worth watching.
- Mean Gene tries to interview Sting & Lex Luger, but the Road Warriors come out. They say they trust Sting, but question him on why he team's with a cheater like Luger. Luger challenges them to any match, anytime, anywhere. The Road Warriors & Luger then argue over what part of Chicago Luger is from and the Road Warriors make more than one reference to laundry. The Road Warriors then challenge Sting & Luger to a Chicago Street Fight, so Luger accepts, despite not knowing what a Chicago Street Fight is, as he asks Sting what it is after the Road Warriors leave. That answer is simple; it's a street fight...in Chicago. Luger then walks to the back, only to have to walk right back out because his match is next.
- The Renegade vs Lex Luger-Yeah, remember the Renegade? Well, he's still doing his Ultimate Warrior knockoff gimmick, despite being disowned by Jimmy Hart. Renegade is able to knock Luger off his feet and to the outside, but Luger takes control when he rakes the Renegade's eyes from the apron. Renegade continues to dominate, even no selling an atomic drop and hitting a clothesline for a near fall. Luger dodges a crossbody, sending Renegade into the ropes and allowing him to take control. Luger continues to dominate the match until the Renegade no sells a suplex and hits a powerslam for a near fall. Renegade hits a corner clothesline followed by a handspring back elbow and a bulldog before going to the top rope. Jimmy Hart runs down and shoves him off the top rope to the outside, allowing Luger to bring him back in the ring and lock in the Torture Rack for the win. Not a good match, Renegade is pretty bad. After the match, Sting comes down and questions Luger over Hart. In order to show Sting where he stands, he raises the Renegade's hand. Sting doesn't take that, and yells in his face.
- Harlem Heat vs The Road Warriors-The two teams stare each other down before Hawk & Booker T start off. Booker hits a bodyslam before Hawk comes back with a clothesline. Hawk dropkicks Booker out of the ring, but he gets back in, only to eat a super-slow neckbreaker from Hawk. Hawk gets a near fall off a fist drop before Animal & Stevie Ray tag in. The two go back and forth until Stevie starts beating down Animal before bodyslamming him. Animal knocks Stevie down with a clothesline before tagging in Hawk, who takes a powerbomb from Stevie. Harlem Heat beats down Hawk until Hawk catches Booker with a back elbow. Animal gets the hot tag and runs through Harlem Heat, dropkicking Stevie Ray and flipping out of a double side suplex before taking out both men with a double clothesline. Hawk enters the ring as Stevie Ray boots Animal out of the ring. Chaos ensues as Booker T hits the Harlem Hangover on Hawk, but the referee is distracted with Stevie Ray on the outside. Also, Hawk was not the legal man. This allows Animal to hit a big boot from the apron, which allows Hawk to make the cover and get the win, despite (again) not being the legal man. Fine match, but the ending was bad.
- Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, and Kevin Sullivan with Miss Elizabeth & Woman vs Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, and the Booty Man-The heels immediately rush the faces, but the faces get the advantage and toss the heels out of the ring. There's nothing sadder than watching Arn Anderson get beat up by Suddenly, the Diamond Doll Kimberly comes out with flowers. Why? That question will be answered soon enough. Anderson & the Booty Man start off, with Booty Man hitting an atomic drop and a high knee. The Booty Man continues to control the match, locking in a sleeper hold on Anderson, then Sullivan, before Flair gets in the ring without making a tag. Booty Man & Flair lock up, with Booty Man getting the better of a test of strength. Ric Flair is actually selling for Ed Leslie. Savage tags in and after a standoff with the heels, Savage hits a backbody drop on Flair before getting caught with a back elbow. Flair goes to the top rope so he can get tossed to the mat before Savage goes to the top. Flair catches Savage with a punch to the stomach, so Savage tags in Hogan. Hogan no sells Flair's offense before backbody dropping Flair and tossing him out of the ring. Sullivan & Anderson get in the ring to attack Hogan, so Hogan clotheslines him out of the ring. Hogan gets the 10 punches in the corner before he & Booty Man hit a double big boot for a near fall. The Booty Man legit beats up all three heels before Savage tags in, but he gets tripped up by Elizabeth & Woman. This allows the heels to beat up Savage until Sullivan hits a shoulder tackle on Savage that seems to hurt him more than it hurts Savage. Booty Man runs wild on all three heels, throwing all of them to Hogan for a big boot before Hogan leg drops Anderson for the win. Even though Booty Man was the legal man. After the match, Elizabeth handcuffs Hogan to ring post so Flair can whip Hogan with a belt. This was awful. Far too chaotic and most importantly WHY IS THE BOOTY MAN BEING BOOKED SO STRONG AGAINST RIC FLAIR & ARN ANDERSON?! WHAT THE F*CK?
And that's about it. Again, RAW was better, purely for the fact that Nitro is just so dumb. Like, none of this makes sense. RAW might have some bad stuff like Al Snow pretending to be a ninja, but at least I can follow it. Nitro just makes my brain hurt lately.
RAW: 11
Nitro: 12
That's it for this edition of RAW vs Nitro. Stay tuned for the next one.
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