RAW vs Nitro #22 (2/19/96)

Welcome back to another edition of RAW vs Nitro. Click here to read the last edition if you missed it. Now, there was no new episode of RAW on February 12th, 1996, so we're skipping forward one week. Don't worry, nothing important happened on Nitro. So let's get into it, this is RAW vs Nitro #22.

But first, a quick recap of In Your House, which happened the night before this episode of RAW 

• Razor Ramon defeated the 1-2-3 Kid in the Crybaby match after giving the Kid two Razor's Edges. As per the stipulation, Razor diapers the Kid
• Hunter Hearst Helmsley defeated Duke Droese. Droese had Helmsley beat after hitting the Trash Compactor, a tilt-a-whirl slam, but decided to grab his garbage can from outside the ring. He threw the lid in first, but the referee stopped him from using the can. This allowed Helmsley to use the lid as a weapon and get the win.
• Yokozuna defeated the British Bulldog by disqualification after Jim Cornette hit him with his tennis racket. Yokozuna tried to attack Cornette, but Vader ran down and made the save. The two traded blows until Bulldog recovered and started double teaming Yokozuna with Vader. They handcuff Yokozuna to the ropes and beat him down before Cornette started battering Yokozuna with the tennis racket again.
• Shawn Michaels defeated Owen Hart to keep his title shot at WrestleMania. Michaels won after hitting Sweet Chin Music.
• Bret Hart defeated Diesel in a Steel Cage match to retain the WWF Championship. Diesel was about to win the match by crawling out through the door, only for the Undertaker to emerge from under the ring and pull him down under the ring, allowing Hart to climb out and escape over the top of the cage.

Now that that's out of the way, let's get into RAW.

RAW

• Before the show, Sunny is on the beach telling us that RAW has material that is "too hot for some"
• Goldust (c) with Marlena vs Razor Ramon-Intercontinental Championship-Razor goes after Goldust before he even gets his robe off. Razor tries to use the title belt as a weapon, but the referee is able to take it away from him before Razor clotheslines Goldust out of the ring. Goldust gets back in the ring and rubs his chest in front of Razor, so Razor spits at him before starting to work over the left arm. Razor goes for the Razor's Edge, but Goldust escapes and flips Razor over the top rope to the outside before the commercial break. We come back to see Goldust clothesline Razor. Goldust hits his weird Pedigree where he doesn't go down all the way and just jumps with a guy's head between his legs before locking in a sleeper hold. Razor is able to reverse it into a sleeper hold of his own, but Goldust escapes by hitting a jawbreaker. Goldust goes to the top rope, but Razor yanks his leg down before hitting a superplex. Razor tosses Goldust out of the ring with a fallaway slam over the top rope before bringing Goldust back in the ring. Razor sets up Goldust on the top rope and hits an avalanche side suplex, but Goldust rolls out of the ring and leaves, getting counted out to retain the title. The match was fine, but the ending sucked. After the match, Razor takes the mic and says he doesn't want Goldust's belt, he wants his ass. He then talks about the new WWF President "Roddy Rowdy Piper." That's what he said. He tells Piper he doesn't want his kids watching Goldust on TV and demands a match against Goldust "anywhere, anytime." He says "Roddy Rowdy Piper" again before his music hits.
• Dok Hendrix announces that Bret Hart vs Shawn Michaels for the WWF Championship is official, along with Diesel vs The Undertaker.
• Barry Horowitz & Aldo Montoya vs Nobody, because Vader comes down and beats them both up before their opponents, the Bodydonnas, even come out. Vader chokeslams Montoya before tossing Horowitz out of the ring punching Montoya out.
• We get a vignette hyping up the return of the Ultimate Warrior. If you're curious to find out how this run in the WWF went...just click here. this pretty much describes it.
• Sunny sings Happy Birthday to "Mr. President." I don't know who she's singing to because February 19th isn't Bill Clinton's birthday, who was president at the time. It was probably just an excuse to show Sunny looking hot
• Marty Jannetty vs The Ringmaster with Ted Dibiase-Thankfully, Jannetty has finally ditched that awful tasseled singlet.
  
  Vince McMahon refers to the Ringmaster on commentary as a "stone cold man." Foreshadowing. The two lock up before Jannetty locks in a hammerlock, which the Ringmaster breaks by getting to the ropes. Jannetty hits a crossbody, but the Ringmaster rolls through on it and gets a near fall before getting another near fall off a roll up before tossing Jannetty out of the ring. Jannetty slides under the Ringmaster back into the ring and hits a dropkick, but the Ringmaster cuts off his momentum with a Stun Gun before the commercial break. We come back to see Jannetty get a near fall off a punch. Jannetty goes for a splash, but the Ringmaster blocks it with his knees before locking in an STF. Jannetty is able to break the hold by getting to the ropes, but the Ringmaster continues to control the match with a variety of submissions. Jannetty comes back with a facebuster before hitting a back elbow and a knee lift for a near fall. Jannetty goes for a side suplex, but the Ringmaster lands on his feet and locks in the Million Dollar Dream for the submission win. A fine little match, nothing special.
  
• We get another Mankind vignette. He asks why God forgot so many important parts of him when he was making him. He says the ugliness that he shows lives inside of everyone.
• Next week, Yokozuna faces Owen Hart & British Bulldog in a handicap match. Also, Diesel appears, Jake Roberts faces the evil dentist, and we get a face-to-face interview between Shawn Michaels & Bret Hart
• Tatanka with Ted DiBiase vs The Undertaker with Paul Bearer-The Undertaker takes Tatanka by the throat to start before throwing him into the corner, whipping him across the ring, and clotheslining him to the ground. Undertaker then chokes Tatanka in the corner before Tatanka chops him. It has no effect. Undertaker continues to control the match until Tatanka hits a Samoan Drop. Following that, Diesel comes out...with an ax.
  
  
  He grabs a cameraman and drags him to the back, where he destroys the Undertaker's casket. During this time, Tatanka controls the match until Taker hits a belly-to-belly suplex. Taker hits a flying clothesline and Old School before going for the Tombstone Piledriver. Tatanka is able to avoid the Tombstone and hits a piledriver. After a while, Tatanka goes to pick up the Undertaker, but Taker recovers and chokeslams Tatanka before hitting a Tombstone Piledriver for the win. More of an angle than an actual match. After the match, Taker finally notices Diesel destroying the casket on the big screen and heads to the back. 
• We then get this edition of RAW's terrible skit of the week. This time, it's not Billionaire Ted, it's "Larry Fling Live" with special guest Billionaire Ted. They have the Nacho Man and the Huckster call in. This leads to probably the sole funny moment of these sketches, where Huckster asks for a day off because he got hit by a woman's shoe. One good moment is better than nothing, I guess.
• We close the show with the Undertaker & Paul Bearer finding the destroyed casket, with Bearer screaming that Diesel will pay for this.

That's it for RAW. Onto Nitro.

But first, a quick recap of SuperBrawl, which happened eight days before this episode of Nitro

• The Nasty Boys defeated the Public Enemy in a Street Fight after Rocco Rock missed a senton bomb and went through a table, allowing Brian Knobbs to get the pin. In a nasty (no pun intended) spot, Rock almost missed the table completely and hit the cement.
• Johnny B Badd defeated Diamond Dallas Page in a match with Badd's Television Championship, the Diamond Doll Kimberly, and the rest of DDP's bingo money (6.6 million dollars). This money is represented by a big check, paid to the order of "CA$H"
  
  There's no way you can deposit that. Badd won after reversing a tilt-a-whirl with a Tombstone Piledriver.
• Sting & Lex Luger successfully defended the WCW Tag Team Championships against Harlem Heat after the Road Warriors interfered. While the referee was distracted with Sting & Booker T fighting on the outside, Stevie Ray had Luger up in a backbreaker rack, only for Animal to hit Stevie in the stomach with the lead plate Luger used two weeks ago on Nitro. Luger made the pin after that.
• Konnan defeated the One Man Gang to retain the United States Championship. If you want to know how the match went, click here. Konnan won after dodging a second rope splash and hitting a top rope cannonball.
• OK, get ready, because this next part gets a tad complicated. Kevin Sullivan & Brian Pillman were supposed to face off in an "I Respect You" Strap match. Pillman rushed the ring and the two brawled before Pillman took the microphone and yelled "I respect you, booker man!" and walked off. What? Well, time to shatter kayfabe! Brian Pillman & Eric Bischoff had thought up a plan. Pillman would do something that would get himself fired so he could go to ECW and get his "Loose Cannon" persona that had begun to show on WCW over and then he could come back. This was that moment. Pillman referring to Sullivan as "booker man" outed him as the as booker for WCW, breaking kayfabe live on pay-per-view and ending the match much earlier than it should have been. Pillman was fired and eight days later, he showed up at ECW's CyberSlam, where he cut one of his most famous (and infamous) promos. However, Pillman never returned to WCW as planned. So back to the match, with everyone, even Kevin Sullivan, confused as to what just happened, just kind of stand around and try to make sense of all this while the commentators ignore the "booker man" comment.
  
  Eventually, Jimmy Hart comes down to the ring with Arn Anderson in, what I can only assume, a dress shirt, golf shorts, and work boots.
  
  He & Sullivan have a strap match until Ric Flair runs down and stops them. He tells them to get on the same page and drop the match. They do, and the three leave the ring.
• Sting & Lex Luger vs The Road Warriors ended in a double countout.
• Ric Flair defeated Randy Savage to win the WCW World Heavyweight Championship in a Steel Cage match after Miss Elizabeth turned heel and gave Flair her shoe to use as a weapon. Why is a woman's heel the deadliest weapon in wrestling in 1996? After the match, Hulk Hogan runs down with a chair and hits Arn Anderson with a chair a few times.
• Hulk Hogan defeated the Giant in a Steel Cage match by escaping over the top of the cage. Afterward, Kevin Sullivan hits him with a chair, so Hogan takes the chair from him and chases him into the cage. The rest of the Dungeon of Doom runs down, and Hogan proceeds to beat down EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. BY. ONE. Meng gets a chair shot. Giant gets a chair shot. Sullivan gets a chair shot. Barbarian gets a chair shot. Hugh Morrus gets a chair shot. Shark gets a chair shot. One Man Gang gets a chair shot. Zodiac gets a chair shot. Why in the world would these guys be considered a threat? One man is beating up eight with no trouble whatsoever. This might be the worst stable ever. No joke. Despite having an 8-ON-1 ADVANTAGE, and rather than just gang up on Hogan, the Dungeon of Doom actually retreats from Hogan. Outcomes the newest member of the Dungeon of Doom, Loch Ness, aka the near 700 pound Giant Haystacks. The rest of the Dungeon of Doom hold him back from getting in the cage, but let's face it:
  
  A guy his size isn't getting through those ropes.

Now that that's out of the way, let's get into Nitro.

Nitro

• Arn Anderson with Woman vs Hulk Hogan-Anderson tries to rush Hogan to start, but Hogan is ready for it and beats down Anderson until he leaves the ring. Hogan follows him out and chokes Anderson with his jacket before throwing him into the ring post. Back in the ring, Hogan clotheslines Anderson and catches Anderson with another one when he dives at him from the second rope. Hogan continues to control the match, tossing Anderson out of the ring and choking him with a fan's t-shirt before politely giving it back when he's done. That was nice. Back in the ring, Hogan repeatedly slams Anderson's head into the match. Anderson FINALLY gets some offense in when he clothesline Hogan and hits a knee drop, but Hogan is able to grab his foot when Anderson tries to stomp him and punches him out of the ring. Hogan brings him back in the ring, Anderson fakes out Hogan by faking a punch, making Hogan duck to dodge it, and instead goes for a DDT. That was great. Or, it would have been, had Hogan taken the move. Instead, he Hulks Up. Punch. Punch. Punch. Big boot...no leg drop? Instead, he locks in the figure four leg lock. Kevin Sullivan runs down to try to interfere, but Randy Savage sprints down to stop him. The chaos causes the referee to throw out the match, calling it a DQ win for Arn Anderson. This was sh*t. Pretty much a complete squashing of Arn Anderson ending in a sh*tty f*ck finish.
• Alex Wright vs Loch Ness with Jimmy Hart-Wright uses his speed to avoid the much larger Loch Ness at first, but it's pretty much no use. Wright hits a few dropkicks before locking in a sleeper hold from the top rope, but Loch Ness just yanks him down. Wright jumps at Loch Ness, but Loch Ness catches him and bearhugs him. Wright is able to fight out and hits two more dropkicks before kicking Loch Ness in the corner. Loch Ness eventually floors Wright with a big boot before hitting an elbow drop for the win.
• The Belfast Bruiser vs Brad Armstrong-OK...before I get into this, we need to address something. This is the Belfast Bruiser:
  
  Yes, that is Dave Finlay. But that's not the point. I just have to ask...Finlay...Dave...what were you thinking with this look? Let's just break this down real quick. He has a full blown pedophile mustache, a greasy, dyed brown mullet that is gray in the front, and a studded leather jacket with one sleeve and a football shoulder pad. Who let him come out like this? He looks like he's wearing a sh*tty Mad Max cosplay. I mean, God, the state of your...everything, Finlay. Anyway, he faces Brad Armstrong, aka Road Dogg's brother. The Bruiser forces Armstrong into the corner before locking in an armbar. The Bruiser continues to dominate the match until Armstrong gets a near fall off a hip toss. Armstrong starts to control the match, but the Bruiser quickly regains control until Armstrong kicks him out of the ring. The fight goes to the outside, where the Bruiser continuously smashes Armstrong's leg against the apron and ring post. Back in the ring, the Bruiser targets Armstrong's left knee with a variety of submissions. Armstrong is able to fight back before taking both him & the Bruiser to the outside with a crossbody. The immediately get back in the ring, where the Bruiser gets a near fall off a backslide before Armstrong hits a bulldog and a side suplex, but the Bruiser comes back with a powerslam for the win. Not a good match, basically a glorified squash that went on for far too long.
• Ric Flair with Miss Elizabeth & Woman vs Randy Savage-Savage spits at Flair before he throws Flair around the ring. Savage goes for the 10 punches in the corner, but Flair is able to counter it with an atomic drop. Savage rolls out of the ring, so Flair follows him out and throws him over the barricade. Flair continues to beat down Savage around ringside before getting back in the ring. Savage stays outside and chases Elizabeth & Woman off, but Flair is able to blindside him. Woman returns and rakes Savage's eyes before Flair gets Savage back in the ring. The two trade blows in the ring before Flair gives Savage a back elbow before taking a Flair Flop. Flair goes to the top rope, but Savage catches him and throws him down to the mat. Savage locks in the figure four, but Flair is able to break the hold by getting to the ropes. Savage locks in a sleeper hold, but Flair escapes by hitting a side suplex. After dodging Savage multiple times, Flair floors Savage with a back elbow before hitting a delayed vertical suplex. Flair continues to beat down on Savage before the two trade strikes again, only for Flair to hit a knee breaker and lock in the figure four. Savage is able to turn the hold over, forcing Flair to break the hold. Savage gets a near fall off a backslide followed by another off a punch. Savage no sells some chops and throws some jabs at Flair before going for the 10 punches in the corner. Flair tries to counter with the atomic drop again, but Savage blocks it and hits a back body drop. Flair flips over the turnbuckle before Savage clotheslines him down. Flair rolls back into the ring so Savage can hit a double ax handle before Elizabeth hops up on the apron. Woman uses this distraction to try to toss Flair one of her heels; the deadliest weapon in professional wrestling. Savage intercepts and it and hits Flair with the heel. Savage makes the cover as Kevin Sullivan runs down. For some reason, the referee stops counting as Savage sells a move he didn't take after the bell rings once. Hulk Hogan comes down to chase after Sullivan, and Arn Anderson suddenly comes down and DDTs Savage. Flair crawls over and makes the cover and gets the three. What the f*ck just happened? After the match, Flair, Anderson, and Sullivan beat down Hogan until someone new runs down.
  
  IT'S THE BOOTY MAN! Yes, it's another Ed Leslie gimmick. He's dropped the zebra paint and stopped being the Zodiac, and now he's the BOOTY MAN! He likes butts...that's his whole character. The Booty Man cleans house before he & Hogan attend to Savage. Flair comes up to the commentary booth, who goes a bit nuts on commentary before the babyfaces run up there. Bobby Heenan quickly leaves as Hogan & co. show up.
  
  Hogan challenges Flair, Anderson, and Sullivan to a 6-man tag match between him, Savage, and the Booty Man next week. Or as Hogan calls him the "BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY MAN!" Hogan & Savage go absolutely mental on commentary to close the show.

And that's about it. RAW was better. Nitro was awful this week, with so much nonsense it was just too crazy. On top of that, the main event was the only good match, and even that ended in a f*ck finish. RAW was at least OK. Point to RAW.

RAW: 10

Nitro: 12

That's it for this edition of RAW vs Nitro. Stay tuned for the next one.