- We kick off the show with Shane & Stephanie McMahon. They bicker in the ring for a bit before Shane drops the news (we already know) that SmackDown will be going live with it's own roster. Stephanie also drops the news (that we also already know) that John Cena will be returning tonight. Outcomes the New Day, who say they are excited, but paranoid about the brand split. Kofi says he trusts Shane because he has nice shoes (he does), but asks where the New Day is going. Stephanie says there hasn't been any decisions made about it yet, but New Day says they're dodging the question. Xavier proceeds to do the most EMPHATIC rendition of the W. W. E. WORLD. TAG. TEAM. CHAMPIONS. chant ever before the New Day worries about being split up. Big E then asks who is running SmackDown, and that decision hasn't been made yet either. Big E proposes a dance challenge between Shane and Stephanie, which they agree to. Shane dances with the New Day, then Stephanie is about to dance, but get interrupted by the Vaudevillians. Here's a quick summary of this segment
NEW DAY-"Got any news about the brand split?"
MCMAHONS-"Nope"
(dancing)
- The New Day vs The Vaudevillians-The match starts during commercial with English and Kofi. Kofi flips out of a monkey flip attempt by English, and follows up with a monkey flip of his own. The New Day hits the Unicorn Stampede before Gotch distracts Kofi, allowing English to take control. The Vaudevillians cut off and work over Kofi, knocking him out of the ring over the ropes before we go to commercial. We come back with Kofi reversing a body slam by Gotch into a DDT. Kofi makes the hot tag to Big E, who suplexes English to death before hitting his big running splash. Big E calls for the Big Ending, but out of nowhere comes Gallows & Anderson, who attack Woods & Kofi, causing the DQ. The Vaudevillians beat down Big E and allow Gallows & Anderson to hit the Magic Killer on Big E. Decent match, nothing special. Hope this leads to a Tag Team Championship reign for Gallows & Anderson, who need big wins after getting beaten up by the Usos and Roman Reigns for a month.
- Backstage, Renee Young asks Gallows & Anderson why they attacked The New Day. They say they wanted to show they were just as dangerous without AJ Styles, that they wanted to put the tag team division and the WWE Universe on notice, and that they're just getting started.
- Backstage, Big Show confronts Apollo Crews, who says he likes Apollo because he has potential, and that Sheamus sees the New Era as a threat. He says Sheamus is a bully, and he attacked Crews because he thinks he'll back down. Big Show was like that wise old sage is fantasy movies who gives the young hero advice on their journey. I kind of like it. Just have him do that every now and then.
- The Usos vs Breezango with Golden Truth on commentary-Breezeango is such a dumb name. Seriously, "Fabreeze" was on a silver platter and they didn't take it. Usos dominate Breezango to start until Breeze dodges a running hip attack in the corner and hits an enziguri. I looked away for a second and the Usos won with a crucifix pin. Post match, Breezeango attacks Golden Truth, but the Golden Truth gets the upperhand
- Outcomes Roman Reigns to...mostly cheers actually. Reigns immediately mentions how Seth Rollins ended the Shield, says his dumb catchphrase, and calls out Rollins. Rollins comes out to cheers as well and slowly makes his way down to the ring, only to stop and walk back up the ramp to get a mic. Rollins doesn't talk for a long time before tossing the mic away and walking back down the ramp. He stops again and walks back, only to run for the ring...and stop and walk back. He picks up the mic again, only to drop it and walk to the back. Reigns' music plays, and Rollins sprints back to the ring, only to stop again and walk to the back again. The more I thought about it, the more I liked it. Everyone wants to see Rollins and Reigns fight, and Rollins is intentionally depriving the fans of that. He's not even giving the fans a conversation between him and Reigns. He's pulling a perfect heel move.
- They show a commercial of police officers running up to a bunker, they blow open the door...IT'S GOLDBERG! IT WAS A COMMERCIAL FOR WWE 2K17! GOLDBERG IS THE PRE-ORDER BONUS!
- Rusev vs Zack Ryder-Rusev murks Ryder. Ryder fights back. Gets murked again. Rusev locks in Accolade for win. Post match, Rusev says Americans are entitled, and that he is what America should be about, and that he's an American hero. Outcomes Titus O'Neil, who is offended that Rusev says he's an American Hero on Memorial Day. He calls Rusev a Bulgarian Blowhard, and attacks Rusev, who rolls out of the ring. Titus gets a "USA" chant going before Rusev walks off. Titus then walked backstage and looked in Vince McMahon's general direction, getting him suspended for the rest of 2016.
- The Shining Stars can literally piss off. I'm done sugar coating it, they actually piss me off now. I used to not mind them, but seeing a guy who can get himself over no matter what he's given to work with like Damien Sandow get released over two guys who have failed to get over multiple times really grinds my gears. They couldn't get over as Primo & Epico, they couldn't get over as Los Matadores, and now they aren't getting over as The Shining Stars. But instead of seeing these two and thinking "maybe they aren't worth trying to get over." they give them a new gimmick Did you see their debut two weeks ago. The crowd was DEAD SILENT! How they still have jobs but guys like Sandow don't is not even puzzling, it's insulting.
- Also, Stephanie ran down Charlotte because Stephanie's got to get over. I was writing out that whole rant on the Shining Stars so missed what she said. All I remember was Stephanie yelling at Charlotte, and seeing Charlotte looking like she was about to cry. That's how you make the Women's Champion look strong after months of looking like a weak champion; getting berated by a non-wrestler who Charlotte probably won't get comeuppance on. IT'S A NEW ERA, MAGGLE!
- Enzo Amore & Colin Cassady vs The Dudley Boyz-Enzo & Cass cut a great pre-match promo. But that's normal, you don't need me to tell you that. Cass and Bubba Ray start the match, and after getting worked over for bit, Cass takes out both Dudleyz. Cass throws Enzo at the Dudleyz a bunch before we go to commercial. We come back with D-Von working over Enzo. The Dudleyz continue to beatdown Enzo until Enzo gets a sunset flip. Bubba manages to make a tag, allowing D-Von to block Enzo from making the tag. The Dudleyz continue to beat down until Enzo dropkicks Bubba and makes the hot tag. Cass runs wild on the Dudleyz, body slamming D-Von and hitting the Empire Elbow. D-Von manges to regain control and the Dudleyz hit a backdrop/neckbreaker combo for a two. Cass tosses Bubba off the top rope, hits D-Von with a big boot, and throws Enzo for the Rocket Launcher on D-Von for the win. Good match, nothing special.
- Backstage, the faces in the Money in the Bank match talk. They each say they need to watch out for one of heels, Ambrose says that they need to watch out for Jericho because he's Canadian, which Zayn questions. Cesaro says to watch out for Del Rio, which Ambrose adds onto by saying "at least he's not Canadian." Zayn says that he's Canadian, which Ambrose says explains so much. It was oddly funny.
- BERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-WAP-WAP-WAP. DODODODO. DODODODO....John Cena is back. He cuts a super pro-America promo, and talks about freedom and liberty. He talks about the New Era, and essentially how he's just going to beat them all. Outcomes AJ Styles. The crowd endlessly has dualing "Let's Go Cena/AJ Styles" chants. Seriously, it goes on for over a minute. Styles says that he's been waiting for this moment, and Cena says everyone else has too. Styles says Cena is great, he respects him, and welcomes him back. He offers a handshake, but Cena teases not shaking, but does eventually. Outcomes Gallows & Anderson. They say Styles is sucking up to Cena. Anderson says they aren't in WWE to kiss ass, but kick ass, including Styles. They approach the ring, and Styles & Cena prepare to fight, but STYLES BLINDSIDES CENA! THE CLUB IS BACK TOGETHER! The Club beat down Cena and go to leave, but run back and beat him down again. They leave again, only for Styles to run back and beat up Cena again. They leave, and Styles runs back, with Gallows & Anderson needing to hold him back. Styles finally leaves, yelling "I'M DOING THE WORLD A FAVOR!" Fantastic segment from top to bottom.
- Natalya vs Dana Brooke-Dana Brooke's theme is the bomb. Natalya takes to fight to Dana immediately, suplexing before Dana takes control. Dana works over Natalya, hitting a somersault splash for a two count. Natalya fights back and goes for the Sharpshooter, but Charlotte hops up on the apron to distract her. This allows Dana to hit a Samoan Driver for the win. That was like less than a minute. Dana & Charlotte beat down Natalya, but outcomes Becky Lynch to make the save.
- Backstage, JoJo interviews Dolph Ziggler about his loss at Extreme Rules. Ziggler says Corbin got the best of him, but he won't beat him. Ziggler goes through his amateur wrestling accolades, and says he's got a 1005 holds. He lists a bunch of moves (some of which aren't holds) and copies Chris Jericho's greats 1004 holds promo.
- Baron Corbin vs Dolph Ziggler in a "Technical" wrestling match-Ziggler puts on headgear and a mouthpiece, only to instantly low blow Corbin for a DQ. Ziggler announces he has been disqualified and that Corbin is the loser. Is this feud really going to keep going? Is there anyone still clamoring for this Ziggler-Corbin feud?
- Miz cuts a promo via satellite, saying he's busy filming for the Marine 5. How the f*ck are there five Marine movies?
- Dean Ambrose, Cesaro, and Sami Zayn vs Alberto Del Rio, Kevin Owens, and Chris Jericho-Cesaro & Del Rio start the match, and Cesaro immediately starts destroys all the heels. How is this man not WWE Champion? Del Rio tosses Cesaro out of the ring, allowing Jericho and Owens to beat him down. Del Rio rolls him back into the ring and hits a diving double axe handle for a two count. Del Rio continues to work over Cesaro before tagging in Jericho. The heels continue to beat down Cesaro for a long time, with Del Rio hitting a corner enziguri for a two count. Cesaro manages to suplex Del Rio and makes the tag to Sami Zayn. Zayn runs wild on Del Rio, taking out Owens and Jericho in the process, and hitting a top rope crossbody for a two count. Owens pulls Del Rio out of the ring and Jericho blindsides Zayn. Ambrose tosses Jericho from the ring, and Zayn hits a tope on all the heels before we go to commercial. We come back with Owens working over Zayn in the ring. The heels work over Zayn until Zayn hits a Blue Thunder Bomb on Jericho. Zayn makes the hot tag to Ambrose and Ambrose runs wild on Jericho. Ambrose chops away at Jericho and puts him onto the top rope. Jericho fights out and goes for a double axe handle, but Ambrose kicks him and goes for Dirty Deeds. Jericho escapes and hits an enziguri for a two count. Ambrose blocks the Lionsault and hits a suicide dive on Jericho. After lots of back and forth fighting, Jericho counters the rebound clothesline with a Codebreaker. Owens makes the blind tag and covers Ambrose, but only gets a two count. Everyone gets their finishers in, ending with Ambrose hitting Dirty Deeds on Owens for the win. Great match, fast paced and full of action.
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