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My Thoughts on RAW (5/2/16): The Streak is Over!

  • We kick off the show with Stephanie McMahon, who is quickly interrupted by Shane McMahon (who actually has a reason to control RAW now). The two bicker about how they are both in charge of RAW (poor SmackDown), and Stephanie gives Shane a gift; the picture Vince destroyed about a month ago on RAW (nice throwback). Shane thanks her, and they both go back and forth trying to have each other say their ideas. Before Shane can say his ideas, Kevin Owens interrupts. He decides to tell them his idea, which is that he should have a rematch for the Intercontinental Championship, which he is guaranteed. Cesaro is out next, blaming Owens for losing his Intercontinental Championship match last night. Shane decides that Cesaro and Owens will face off in a #1 Contenders match for the Intercontinental Championship. Wait, didn't they do this exact thing like three weeks ago? THE NEW ERA, EVERYBODY!
  • Cesaro vs Kevin Owens-#1 Contenders Match-Miz is on commentary for this match. Cesaro kicks off the match with the Uppercut Train, ending with a criss-cross dropkick sending Owens to the outside. Cesaro follows up with a cannonball off the barricade, rolling Owens back in the ring, and hits a top rope crossbody for a two count. Owens fights back and hits a superkick followed by a running senton for a two count. Owens goes to work on Cesaro's taped up shoulder and hits a DDT. Back to work on the shoulder, Owens takes some time to talk sh*t to Michael Cole, which allows Cesaro to boot Owens, but doesn't regain control. Owens goes to the top rope, but Cesaro meets him there. Owens knocks him down, but Cesaro gets back, dropkicks Owens on the top rope, and hits a gutwrench superplex for a two count. Owens gets Cesaro tied up in the ropes and pulls him down onto the ropes, sending him to the floor. Owens hits a Frog Splash from the ring apron before we go to commercial. We come back with Owens & Cesaro trading blows before Cesaro goes crazy with uppercuts. Owens is able to Irish whip Cesaro shoulder first into the ring post and hits a German suplex followed by a cannonball. Cesaro fights out and hits a flying uppercut, sending Owens out of the ring. Cesaro follows that with a big running clothesline. Owens tries to use Miz's Intercontinental Championship as a weapon, but Miz won't let him. Cesaro uppercuts both Owens and Miz. Cesaro calls for the swing, but Miz attacks Cesaro to cause a DQ. Miz and Owens beat down Cesaro before Sami Zayn runs down to make the save. Zayn takes out Owens with a Helluva Kick, but Maryse saves Miz from the same fate. Zayn holds up the Intercontinental Championship to end the segment as the whole crowd chants "YES!" Good match as usual, shame it ended in a DQ
  • Backstage, Stephanie walks into Dean Ambrose, who says he doesn't believe Stephanie has changed at all. Stephanie decides to have Ambrose host the Ambrose Asylum with her as a guest to ask her anything
  • Backstage we get Tyler Breeze and R-Truth, with Truth having without a doubt the most crudely made selfie stick in history. It's literally just a branch. Goldust shows up and says Breeze is average looking, which Breeze gets madly offended at. Goldust challenges Breeze to a match. Fandango shows up, and random stuff happens
  • Also backstage (three talking segments in a row...IT'S NEW ERA, MAGGLE!), AJ Styles is talking with Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson. Styles says he wants the WWE Championship even more after losing last night. Anderson says there's no way Reigns is winning at Extreme Rules. This makes Reigns appears and he says Styles can't beat him, and challenges Styles, Anderson, and Gallows to a match between him and the Usos
  • Goldust vs Tyler Breeze-Horribly depressing Fun fact, Tyler Breeze has lost his last 61 matches. That is not a joke. Both Fandango and Truth are at ringside. This is a straight comedy match, with Truth giving Breeze a do rag, and Goldust question why he never got one. Truth goes up on the ring apron with his selfie branch as Breeze beats down a distracted Goldust. Fandango and Truth have a dance off, which distracts Goldust long enough for Breeze TO GET THE ROLL UP WIN! HE DID IT! HE DID IT! THE STREAK HAS BEEN BROKEN! HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN!
  • IT'S A NEW DAY, YES IT IS! Outcomes the New Day. It is announced that the Vaudevillians were awarded the win at Payback, and they will face the New Day for the Tag Team Championships at Extreme Rules. It was at this point, I noticed a sign that read "Worst Champions: 1. Great Khali 2. Roman Reigns 3. Sycho Sid." Damn, no matter how bad Roman Reigns is, he's still better than Khali. Woods announces that Beyonce did not slide into his DMs, but they announce Amore is OK. The Vaudevillians come and English says Amore would have gotten back up if he were a real man, and Gotch adds that they made Enzo the realest guy in the emergency room. This brings out the Dudley Boyz, who say that since the Vaudevillians didn't really win, and they deserve the title shot at Extreme Rules. This brings out Big Cass, who says he's going to finish what he and Enzo started . Cass gets in the ring and a brawl ensues. 
  • The New Day & Colin Cassady vs The Dudley Boyz & The Vaudevillians-Made during the commercial break, the match starts with the faces running through Simon Gotch, including a Unicorn Stampede. Bubba makes a blind tag on Gotch, takes out Wood and yells instructions to the Vaudevillians about how to wrestle. The heels work over Woods until he cuts off Bubba's Bionic Elbow with an enziguri. Bubba is able to stop Woods from making a tag and tags in D-Von. Woods dodges D-Von's diving headbutt and makes the tag to Kofi, who runs wild on D-Von. English distracts Kofi, allowing D-Von to toss him from the ring, with English following by throwing Kofi into the ring post as we go to commercial. We come back with English beating down Kofi. Bubba screams instructions the entire time from the ring apron. The heels beat down Kofi until he hits a double dropkick on the Vaudevillians, allowing Kofi to make the tag to Big Cass. Cass runs wild on the heels, hitting a fallaway slam, a corner splash, and an Empire Elbow on English, but Bubba breaks up the pin. Cass boots Gotch off the apron into Big E's arms, who hits a belly-to-belly. After a blind tag, the Dudleyz call for the 3D, but Kofi takes out Bubba with a springboard crossbody, allowing Cass to hit D-Von with an East River Crossing for the win. Very fun match, very exciting.
  • I just want to say THANK GOD they are actually addressing that Charles Robinson is Lil Niatch, I was scared they weren't going to do it, but they did.
  • Becky Lynch vs Emma-EVIL EMMA, BAYBAY. Match starts with Lynch hitting a few arm drags before Emma rolls out of the ring. Lynch follows her out and brings her back in, where Becky goes to the top rope, but Emma pulls her down hard. Emma goes to work, grabbing and standing on Becky's hair before hitting a double underhook suplex for a two count. Emma hits the Emma-mite Sandwich before Becky runs wild, hitting a heel kick, a spinning kick, and an exploder suplex for a two count. Becky goes for the Dis-Arm-Her, but Emma escapes, gives Becky a thumb to the eye, and hits a Minchinoku Driver for the win. Pretty nothing match, unfortunately, these two are both great wrestlers.
  • Puerto Rico...you know what it means
  • It's time for the Ambrose Asylum! Ambrose brings out Stephanie McMahon for her "open forum". He shows her getting speared at WrestleMania. He says Shane ran RAW better than the Authority ever did. He also says that because of Stephanie's loyalty to WWE, she has missed out on important moments in her daughters lives. Is this guy a babyface? Ambrose really just stirred the spot. He's like the Keemstar of WWE. Stephanie says RAW needed a change, has trouble saying "asylum" and she announces the Ambrose Asylum is cancelled, and back once again is the Highlight Reel with Chris Jericho. Wait, I thought Jericho was done with WWE? I guess not. The two brawl (this feud is literally just about talk shows, by the way) and Jericho hits a Codebreaker in the ring before destroying the Ambrose Asylum. Jericho finishes off the beat down by breaking Ambrose's potted plant over his back.
  • #1 Contenders Battle Royal-Titus O'Neil is back, everybody! Also, Kalisto in a suit always makes me laugh. I don't know why, it just does. Damien Sandow gets tossed out very quickly (a big middle finger by WWE, if I do say so myself). Apollo Crews stops Stardust's attempt to skin the cat with a dropkick, eliminating him. Crews gets eliminated very quickly after a Brogue Kick by Sheamus. To continue his awful booking, Corbin gets eliminated by Ziggler off a dropkick. Ziggler gets pulled out and beaten down by Corbin, then thrown back in and eliminated by Rusev before the commercial break. Jesus, what are they doing with Baron Corbin? This is Tyler Breeze levels of bad booking. Actually, at least Breeze got to win his first pay-per-view match. We come back with 8 men left. with O'Neil, Curtis Axel, and Bo Dallas getting eliminated quickly. Despite breaking up, the League of Nations work together to beatdown Zack Ryder and Sin Cara, with Del Rio eliminating Sin Cara, bringing down to Rusev, Sheamus, Del Rio, and Ryder. The three heels beat down Ryder, barely avoiding elimination. The three break their alliance and try to eliminate eachother, with Del Rio eliminating Sheamus. Rusev goes to eliminate Del Rio, but Ryder gets the elimination with a drop kick, leaving Rusev and Ryder. The two go at it, with Ryder hitting the Broski Boot, but Rusev reverses the toss and throws Ryder out to win and become the #1 Contender. They must be planning something for Ryder. They can't just be making Ryder come close every time just to be dicks, right...right?
  • Outcomes Charlotte and Ric Flair to address the bullshit controversial finish from last night. JBL says the Flairs are better than the Harts. If it's just Bret and Ric against each other, than there's a debate, but collectively? Sorry, I'll take Bret, Owen, Bulldog, and Natalya over Ric, David, and Charlotte. You can even throw in Bram since he's an ex-Flair, technically, but I'd still go with the Harts. Charlotte brings out Lil Naitch Charles Robinson, who says Natalya verbally submitted and says that his relationship with the Flairs didn't impact his decision. Outcomes Natalya, who takes the mic from Charlotte and says she was screwed. The two fight, Natalya kicks Charlotte from the ring, and slaps Ric before putting him in the Sharpshooter.
  • Backstage Stephanie walks up to Charlotte & Ric Flair and tells them that Charlotte and Natalya will have a rematch at Extreme Rules in a Submissions match. Stephanie also says that Ric is banned from ringside.
  • AJ Styles, Karl Anderson, and Luke Gallows vs Roman Reigns & The Usos-Styles and Reigns start off, going back and forth before Gallows tags in. Reigns almost immediately takes control, allowing him and the Usos to work over Gallows until he takes out Jey Uso with a big boot. After a commercial break, we come back to Anderson beating down Jey, hitting a big spinebuster for a two count. The (not) Bullet Club work over Jey, with Gallows cutting off the tag by taking out Jimmy Uso, until Jey superkicks Styles. Jey makes the tag and runs wild, taking out all three opponents. Reigns calls for the Superman Punch on Styles, but he catches him with a Pele Kick. Jimmy Uso makes a blind tag and hits a high crossbody and a Samoan Drop on Styles. Gallows and Anderson takeout Reigns with a Boot of Doom on the outside, and Styles hits the Phenomenal Forearm on Jimmy Uso to get the win. Fine match, nothing special though. Anderson & Gallows tell Styles to beat down Reigns with a chair, but he refuses. One Uso hits Styles with the chair, so he hits them back. Reigns Superman Punches Styles and tosses him from the ring, beating him down at ringside and tearing up the announce table. Reigns proceeds to put Styles through the table with a powerbomb. I'm mixed on the this. On one hand, Styles got the sh*t kicked out of him the entire match, even by an Uso, but on the other, Reigns finally did something major that made him look like a tweener. Until now, he'd been a babyface saying he was a tweener, but beating down an innocent Styles who only retaliated against what the Usos did made him look like a heel. Hopefully WWE realizes that.

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