Before I start, sorry about this blog going completely silent for nearly two weeks. One of the hinges on my laptop broke, which then caused the WiFi cable in the laptop to get cut, making it basically useless with a lid half off and no Internet connection. To top off this series of unfortunate events, the day after I got it fixed, I got very sick, fell asleep during Extreme Rules, and barley stayed up for RAW last night. So I'm just now getting back into the swing of things, so let's do it.
It's been a month since I last tackled a match for the Worst in the World, and while I do have an actual excuse for why I didn't post one for so long (it was finals week, followed by a broken laptop), I think it's funnier if you believe that the Los Villanos vs Los Psycho Circus broke me mentally and physically, and I need a month to recover. Well, like Seth Rollins, it's time to Redesign, Rebuild, and Reclaim and get back to work. And hopefully I'm easing my way back in with something light in Sting & Hawk vs Meng & Kurasawa at Clash of the Champions XXXI. Due to Animal suffering a back injury while the Road Warriors were in the WWF, Hawk was on his own for years while Animal recovered, and he basically did nothing except be a filler wrestler until Animal came back. Let's see how this match goes.
Just to get it out of the way; Michael Buffer's extended ring introductions: over two minutes long. Also, he fails to mention that Sting is the current WCW United States Champion. Apparently he couldn't squeeze it in anywhere when he was mentioning that Sting was "famous for the Scorpion Death Lock and Stinger Splash" or that he's a five time WCW Heavyweight CHAMPION OF THE WOOOOOOOOOOORLD! The match starts off with some quick brawling before Meng & Kurasawa get tossed from the ring.
After composing on the outside, Kurasawa starts kicking away at Hawk back in the ring, which Hawk COMPLETELY NO...actually, it's Hawk, that's not surprising. Hawk headbutts Kurasawa in the dick (no DQ), so Kuraswaw tries to follow it up with one of his own, but fails. Sting tags in and hits a very sloppy atomic drop, which I'm assuming Kurasawa thought it was going to be a spinebuster because he kicked his legs out instead of keeping them bent.
This causes Kurasawa to land balls first on Sting's knee. Jesus, leave Kurasawa's crotch alone! It's been less than two minutes and he's already been headbutted and kneed in the dick.
So, assuming he's extra pissed at getting crotched on Sting's knee, Kurasawa starts really laying in some chops on Sting, but misses a running knee in the corner, allowing Sting to lay in some stiff chops of his own and a suplex before tagging in Hawk. Kurasawa is able to take control off a clothesline (which Hawk poorly sells) and tags in Meng, who clotheslines Hawk, who no sells. Hawk either doesn't or poorly sells Meng's offense before Meng tags out. Kurasawa takes the fight out of the ring and hits a brutal looking reverse powerslam on Hawk on the outside.
So despite taking a big move on the outside, Hawk gets back in the ring and takes control, completely no selling the slam on the outside. After locking in a headlock, Meng runs in and breaks up the hold. I'm not really sure why, when was the last time someone submitted to a headlock? Somehow the heels regain control, only for Hawk to hit a swinging neckbreaker on Meng. Meng no sells this, gets to his feet before Hawk does, and tags in Kurasawa.
Hawk bodyslams him and hits a bad top rope splash, followed by a powerbomb and pin, which Meng breaks up. Sting takes out Meng with a diving clothesline from the top rope and the four men brawl in the ring. Bobby Heenan notes that "this has turned into a battle royal."...Not really, Brain, not really. Referee Nick Patrick, of course, just watches this whole thing happen instead of...doing anything a referee would do. God, he sucks. Hawks gets the pin and the win for his team after a horrendously sloppy flapjack-jumping clothesline combo.
This causes Kurasawa to land balls first on Sting's knee. Jesus, leave Kurasawa's crotch alone! It's been less than two minutes and he's already been headbutted and kneed in the dick.
So, assuming he's extra pissed at getting crotched on Sting's knee, Kurasawa starts really laying in some chops on Sting, but misses a running knee in the corner, allowing Sting to lay in some stiff chops of his own and a suplex before tagging in Hawk. Kurasawa is able to take control off a clothesline (which Hawk poorly sells) and tags in Meng, who clotheslines Hawk, who no sells. Hawk either doesn't or poorly sells Meng's offense before Meng tags out. Kurasawa takes the fight out of the ring and hits a brutal looking reverse powerslam on Hawk on the outside.
So despite taking a big move on the outside, Hawk gets back in the ring and takes control, completely no selling the slam on the outside. After locking in a headlock, Meng runs in and breaks up the hold. I'm not really sure why, when was the last time someone submitted to a headlock? Somehow the heels regain control, only for Hawk to hit a swinging neckbreaker on Meng. Meng no sells this, gets to his feet before Hawk does, and tags in Kurasawa.
Hawk bodyslams him and hits a bad top rope splash, followed by a powerbomb and pin, which Meng breaks up. Sting takes out Meng with a diving clothesline from the top rope and the four men brawl in the ring. Bobby Heenan notes that "this has turned into a battle royal."...Not really, Brain, not really. Referee Nick Patrick, of course, just watches this whole thing happen instead of...doing anything a referee would do. God, he sucks. Hawks gets the pin and the win for his team after a horrendously sloppy flapjack-jumping clothesline combo.
The Verdict
A pretty slow and plodding match that wasn't the worst, but still pretty bad. Hawk in particular was awful, no selling most of time, and poorly selling the rest of the time. On top of that, there were quite a few botches in the match, particularly the atomic dick drop and the finish.
Rankings (Best to Worst)
- Too Much vs Al Snow & Head-King of the Ring 1998
- Vampiro vs Sting-Great American Bash 2000
- T&A vs Head Cheese-WrestleMania 2000
- Konnan vs One Man Gang-SuperBrawl VI
- Ultimate Warrior vs Hercules-WrestleMania IV
- Rick Rude vs Hawk-Clash of the Champions XXV
- Shelton Benjamin vs Viscera-New Year's Revolution 2006
- The Chamber of Horrors-Halloween Havoc 1991
- The Natural Disasters vs Money Inc.-WrestleMania VIII
- Nikita Koloff vs Bobby Eaton-Bunkhouse Stampede
- Total Divas vs Other Divas-Survivor Series 2013
- The Oddities vs Kaientai-SummerSlam 1998
- Hulk Hogan vs Sid Justice-WrestleMania VIII
- Dusty Rhodes vs Big Boss Man-Saturday Night's Main Event (10/31/1989)
- Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Hog Wild
- Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Souled Out 1997
- Dustin Rhodes & King Kong vs Awesome Kong & The Equalizer-Battlebowl
- Jake Roberts vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania V
- Sting & Hawk vs Meng & Kurasawa-Clash of the Champions XXXI
- Hulk Hogan vs Randy Savage-Uncensored 1998
- Al Snow vs Big Boss Man-Unforgiven 1999
- Mickie James vs Ashley-Royal Rumble 2006
- Christy Hemme vs Big Fat Oily Guy-Against All Odds 2007
- Team WCW vs nWo Wolfpac vs nWo Hollywood-Fall Brawl 1998
- Vampiro vs Oklahoma-Starrcade 1999
- Hulk Hogan vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania III
- Junkyard Dog vs Moondog Spot-Wrestling Classic
- Hiroshi Wajima vs Tom Magee-All Japan Pro Wrestling 1988
- Jim Steele vs The Equalizer-SuperBrawl IV
- Edge vs Triple H vs Vladimir Kozlov-Survivor Series 2008
- Kevin Sullivan vs Dave Sullivan-SuperBrawl V
- Steve McMichael vs Brian Adams-Road Wild 1998
- Scott Steiner vs Sid Vicious vs Jeff Jarrett vs Road Warrior Animal-Sin
- Hollywood Hogan vs Roddy Piper-SuperBrawl 1997
- Batista vs The Great Khali-SummerSlam 2007
- Sable vs Tori-WrestleMania XV
- Sid Vicious vs The Nightstalker-Clash of the Champions XIII
- The 8-Divas Tag Match-Survivor Series 1999
- Rick Rude vs Masahiro Chono-Halloween Havoc 1992
- Mike Awesome vs Vampiro-Halloween Havoc 2000
- Greg Valentine vs George Steele-Heroes of Wrestling
- Abdullah the Butcher vs One Man Gang-Heroes of Wrestling
- Hollywood Hogan vs The Warrior-Halloween Havoc 1998
- The Royal Family vs Clowns R' Us-Survivor Series 1994
- Sting vs Jeff Hardy-Victory Road 2011
- Ultimate Warrior vs Andre the Giant-Saturday Night's Main Event (11/25/1989)
- The Doomsday Cage Match-Uncensored 1996
- Kaitlyn vs Maxine-NXT (10/19/10)
- Sabu vs The Sandman-November to Remember 1997
- James Storm vs Chris Harris-Lockdown 2007
- John Laurinaitis vs John Cena-Over the Limit 2012
- Los Villanos vs Los Psycho Circus-Triplemania XXIII
Oh...great...the Knockouts.
Thanks for reading. Be sure to share if you enjoyed. Also, check out my Patreon
Good thing Kurasawa would recover himself, leaving WCW and having legendary bouts as himself (Manabu Nakanishi)
ReplyDelete