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Worst in the World: Tag Team Battle Royal-WrestleMania XIV

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Battle royals are usually great. This is not. Today, I take a look at the 15-team battle royal that opened WrestleMania XIV to determine the #1 contenders to the WWF Tag Team Championships. The teams are:

  • The Rock 'n' Roll Express, Ricky Morton & Robert Gibson
  • The Headbangers, Mosh & Thrasher
  • The Quebecers, Pierre Ouellet & Jacques Rougeau
  • All four members of the Nation of Domination, with Faarooq & Kama Mustafa as one team and Mark Henry & D'Lo Brown as another.
  • Flash Funk & MY BOY! Steve Blackman
  • All four members of Los Boricaus, with Savio Vega & Miguel Perez Jr. as one team and Jose Estrada Jr. & Jesus Castillo Jr. as another
  • The Disciples of Apocolypse's 8-Ball & Skull
  • Henry & Phineas Godwinn
  • The New Midnight Express, Bombastic Bob (Bob Holly) & Bodacious Bart (Bart Gunn) with Jim Cornette
  • Too Much (the future Too Cool), Scott Taylor & Brian Christopher (Scotty 2 Hotty & Grandmaster Sexay)
  • The Truth Commission's Sniper & Recon (Bull Buchanan)
  • Chainz & Bradshaw
  • One last secret tag team that I've already spoiled with the picture, Hawk & Animal aka LOD 2000 with Sunny
Now, tag team battle royals work a little different than a regular battle royal. If only one person from the team is eliminated, then both members are out. I've never understood that. No other tag team elimination match works like this. Maybe it's just me, but I think it would make more sense if you had to eliminate both men. But whatever, let's get into this.
So, as you'd probably guess from a match where 30 people are all fighting at the same time, it's a tad chaotic at the start of the match. Savio Vega ends up being the first man out, getting punched out by Chainz. Suddenly, Kurrgan appears and throws Sniper over the top rope. I didn't even see him get in the ring at first. He just kind of looked like a really tall Steve Blackman from far away. The announcers make little note of this happening. Then, for whatever reason, Barry Windham runs down and eliminates Chainz. Also, Flash Funk gets eliminated and the commentators make zero note of this.
Out next is Ricky Morton of the Rock & Roll Express, with Jim Ross adding that Kama & Faarooq and Estrada & Castillo got eliminated as well. Also, I noticed D'Lo Brown got tossed out. Something tells me no one told Mark Henry that D'Lo go eliminated because I went back and noticed that Henry stays in the ring for two whole minutes after D'Lo gets eliminated. This is a clusterf*ck.
The Headbangers get eliminated followed by Too Much, leaving the final 4; 8-Ball & Skull, the Godwinns, the New Midnight Express, and LOD 2000. Everybody just kind of brawls around the ring, not really doing any moves, before Henry Godwinn throws 8-Ball (I think) over the top rope, while Skull throws Phineas Godwinn, leaving LOD & the New Midnight Express as the last two teams. The Godwinns return to the ring and smash buckets over LOD's heads. Bob & Bart go to throw Hawk over the top rope, but Hawk fights out. They try again, but Animal stops them and powerslams Bart. Hawk hits a big boot on Bob before LOD clotheslines both Bob & Bart of the ring for the win.

The Verdict

I would really say this was bad, it was just kind of cluttered. A lot of it was hard to follow and a lot of people would get eliminated off camera, with it just cutting to them lying on the floor. Not bad, per say, but not really worth watching outside of the Road Warrior's return.

 Rankings (Best to Worst)

  1. Rick Rude vs Jake Roberts-WrestleMania IV
  2. Too Much vs Al Snow & Head-King of the Ring 1998
  3. Vampiro vs Sting-Great American Bash 2000
  4. T&A vs Head Cheese-WrestleMania 2000
  5. Triple H vs Sgt. Slaughter-D-Generation X: In Your House
  6. Konnan vs One Man Gang-SuperBrawl VI
  7. Ultimate Warrior vs Hercules-WrestleMania IV
  8. Rick Rude vs Hawk-Clash of the Champions XXV
  9. Shelton Benjamin vs Viscera-New Year's Revolution 2006
  10. Steve McMichael vs Reggie White-Slamboree 1997
  11. Tag Team Battle Royal-WrestleMania XIV
  12. The Chamber of Horrors-Halloween Havoc 1991
  13. The Natural Disasters vs Money Inc.-WrestleMania VIII
  14. Ivan Koloff vs Paul Jones-Clash of the Champions IV
  15. ODB, Taylor Wilde, and Roxxi vs The Kongtourage-Genesis 2009
  16. Ivory vs Tori-SummerSlam 1999
  17. Nikita Koloff vs Bobby Eaton-Bunkhouse Stampede
  18. Alex Wright vs Steve McMichael-Halloween Havoc 1997
  19. Savio Vega vs Crush vs Faarooq-Ground Zero: In Your House
  20. Total Divas vs Other Divas-Survivor Series 2013
  21. The Oddities vs Kaientai-SummerSlam 1998
  22. Hulk Hogan vs Sid Justice-WrestleMania VIII
  23. Paul Ellering vs Teddy Long-Capital Combat
  24. Dusty Rhodes vs Big Boss Man-Saturday Night's Main Event (10/31/1989)
  25. Tyson Tomko vs Stevie Richards-Unforgiven 2004
  26. Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Hog Wild
  27. Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Souled Out 1997
  28. Dustin Rhodes & King Kong vs Awesome Kong & The Equalizer-Battlebowl
  29. Finlay & Little Bastard vs The Boogeyman & Little Boogeyman-No Way Out 2007
  30. Jake Roberts vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania V
  31. Yokozuna vs King Mabel-In Your House 4
  32. Sting & Hawk vs Meng & Kurasawa-Clash of the Champions XXXI
  33. Hulk Hogan vs Randy Savage-Uncensored 1998
  34. Al Snow vs Big Boss Man-Unforgiven 1999
  35. Mickie James vs Ashley-Royal Rumble 2006
  36. Christy Hemme vs Big Fat Oily Guy-Against All Odds 2007
  37. Stevie Ray vs Konnan-World War 3 1998
  38. Team WCW vs nWo Wolfpac vs nWo Hollywood-Fall Brawl 1998
  39. Vampiro vs Oklahoma-Starrcade 1999
  40. Hulk Hogan vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania III
  41. Van Hammer vs Terrance Taylor-Clash of the Champions XVI
  42. Junkyard Dog vs Moondog Spot-Wrestling Classic
  43. Hiroshi Wajima vs Tom Magee-All Japan Pro Wrestling 1988
  44. Jim Duggan vs Big Boss Man-Royal Rumble 1990
  45. Meng vs Jim Duggan-Uncensored 1995
  46. Jim Steele vs The Equalizer-SuperBrawl IV
  47. Wendi Richter vs Leilani Kai-WrestleMania
  48. Edge vs Triple H vs Vladimir Kozlov-Survivor Series 2008
  49. Kevin Sullivan vs Dave Sullivan-SuperBrawl V
  50. Steve McMichael vs Brian Adams-Road Wild 1998
  51. Scott Hall vs Roddy Piper-SuperBrawl IX
  52. PN News & Bobby Eaton vs Steve Austin & Terrance Taylor-Great American Bash 1991
  53. Scott Steiner vs Sid Vicious vs Jeff Jarrett vs Road Warrior Animal-Sin
  54. Hollywood Hogan vs Roddy Piper-SuperBrawl 1997
  55. Batista vs The Great Khali-SummerSlam 2007
  56.  Sable vs Tori-WrestleMania XV
  57. Super Invader vs Todd Champion-WrestleWar 1992
  58. King Kong Bundy & Jim Neidhart vs Yokozuna & Jake Roberts-Heroes of Wrestling
  59. Sid Vicious vs The Nightstalker-Clash of the Champions XIII
  60. The 8-Divas Tag Match-Survivor Series 1999
  61. The Fabulous Freebirds vs The Renegade Warriors-Halloween Havoc 1990
  62. Rick Rude vs Masahiro Chono-Halloween Havoc 1992
  63. Mike Awesome vs Vampiro-Halloween Havoc 2000
  64. Bray Wyatt vs John Cena-Extreme Rules 2014
  65. Brothers of Destruction vs KroniK-Unforgiven 2001
  66. Mabel vs The Undertaker-King of the Ring 1995
  67. Wendi Richter vs The Fabulous Moolah-The Brawl to End it All
  68. David Flair vs Kimberly Page-Mayhem 1999
  69. The Truth Commission vs The Disciples of Apocolypse-Survivor Series 1997
  70. The Bushwhacker vs The Fabulous Rougeaus-WrestleMania V
  71. The Beverly Brothers vs The Bushwhackers-Royal Rumble 1992
  72. Teddy Long vs Eric Bischoff-Survivor Series 2005
  73. Greg Valentine vs George Steele-Heroes of Wrestling
  74. Abdullah the Butcher vs One Man Gang-Heroes of Wrestling
  75. Major Gunns vs Miss Hancock-New Blood Rising
  76. Bradshaw & Trish Stratus vs Christopher Nowinski & Jackie Gayda-RAW (7/8/2002)
  77. Triple H vs Scott Steiner-Royal Rumble 2003
  78. Hollywood Hogan vs The Warrior-Halloween Havoc 1998
  79. Mr. T vs Roddy Piper-WrestleMania 2
  80. The Royal Family vs Clowns R' Us-Survivor Series 1994
  81. The Blacktop Bully vs Dustin Rhodes-Uncensored 1995
  82. Pat Patterson vs Gerald Brisco-King of the Ring 2000
  83. The Four Doinks vs Team Bigelow-Survivor Series 1993
  84. Sting vs Jeff Hardy-Victory Road 2011
  85. Oz vs Tim Parker-SuperBrawl
  86. Ultimate Warrior vs Andre the Giant-Saturday Night's Main Event (11/25/1989)
  87. The Doomsday Cage Match-Uncensored 1996
  88. Kane vs The Undertaker-Judgement Day 1998
  89. Kaitlyn vs Maxine-NXT (10/19/10)
  90. Sabu vs The Sandman-November to Remember 1997
  91. The Bushwhackers vs Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff-Heroes of Wrestling
  92. James Storm vs Chris Harris-Lockdown 2007
  93. John Laurinaitis vs John Cena-Over the Limit 2012
  94. Ultimate Warrior vs Goldust-In Your House 7
  95. Los Villanos vs Los Psycho Circus-Triplemania XXIII
  96. Jenna Morasca vs Sharmell-Victory Road 2009
And up next is...
Ha, the KISS Demon. Jesus, this should be fun.
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