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Worst in the World: The 8-Divas Tag Match-Survivor Series 1999

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Remember when I reviewed The Total Divas vs Other Divas from Survivor Series 2013. The match that wasn't very good, but definitely wasn't the worst of the year like Wrestling Observer Newsletter said it was. And believe me, it could have been MUCH worse. Case and point: The Divas match from Survivor Series 1999. In an eight women (thankfully NOT elimination) tag match, the team of Ivory, Luna Vachon, Jacqueline, and Terri Runnels took on the team of Tori, Debra, Mae Young, and the Fabulous Moolah....in 1999. Yeah, Mae Young and Fabulous Moolah, both of which were in their mid-70s at the time. And not only that, that team consists of ONE real wrestler in Tori. Young & Moolah are basically comedy acts at this point, and Debra is a valet, not a wrestler. The team they're facing is almost all wrestlers (sorry Terri...not really). How does this match go? It's the WWF, how else would a team of non-wrestlers do against a team of wrestlers.
Right off the bat, Jerry Lawler almost has an aneurysm when Debra comes out because "boobs". Terri manages to get caught in the camera cables on her way down to the ring. And probably the worst thing so far is this:
  
Ivory is the Women's Champion...and she's in a comedy match with Fabulous Moolah in 1999. State of your women's championship, WWF. I think you can tell where this is going.
So because she's a babyface, Moolah blindsides Ivory pre-match, and Mae Young jumps on her before Luna pulls her off and gently puts her in the ring. The crowd doesn't give a flying f*ck about this match, chanting "WE WANT PUPPIES" as soon as the match starts. Without making a tag, Tori goes in and fights Luna. Jacqueline tags in and she and Luna go for a double suplex on Tori, but Jacqueline DDTs Tori instead because I think she forgot the spot, so they just do the suplex right after. The heels (I'm assuming) work over Tori until she hits the slowest double clothesline on Ivory and Luna, and she tags in Moolah.
Moolah hits a snapmare takedown, a bodyslam, followed by a insanely slow double clothesline on Ivory with Mae Youg, and hits a horrible splash and gets the pin. Fabulous Moolah...at 76 years old...just pinned the Women's Champion...100% clean...in less than two minutes...
...
...
F*CK RIGHT OFF!

 The Verdict

Sorry, it's just...why? Who in their right mind would think this is a good idea. Who does that benefit? No one. It doesn't help Ivory obviously, because she just got jobbed out to a senior citizen. It doesn't help the division as a whole because the supposed best wrestler in that division just jobbed to a senior citizen. And it doesn't help Moolah because it's not like she's in the title picture, right?...Right?...Please tell me I'm right.
F*ck this company.
Oh, right, the actual match. It's nothing. There's one spot, and they managed to mess it up, somehow. Good job, I'd give you an A for effort, but you didn't try.

Rankings (Best to Worst)

  1.  Too Much vs Al Snow & Head-King of the Ring 1998
  2. Vampiro vs Sting-Great American Bash 2000
  3. Konnan vs One Man Gang-SuperBrawl VI
  4. Ultimate Warrior vs Hercules-WrestleMania IV
  5. Rick Rude vs Hawk-Clash of the Champions XXV
  6. The Chamber of Horrors-Halloween Havoc 1991
  7. The Natural Disasters vs Money Inc.-WrestleMania VIII
  8. Nikita Koloff vs Bobby Eaton-Bunkhouse Stampede
  9. Total Divas vs Other Divas-Survivor Series 2013
  10. The Oddities vs Kaientai-SummerSlam 1998
  11. Hulk Hogan vs Sid Justice-WrestleMania VIII
  12. Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Hog Wild
  13. Jake Roberts vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania V
  14. Hulk Hogan vs Randy Savage-Uncensored 1998
  15. Al Snow vs Big Boss Man-Unforgiven 1999
  16. Mickie James vs Ashley-Royal Rumble 2006
  17. Christy Hemme vs Big Fat Oily Guy-Against All Odds 2007
  18. Vampiro vs Oklahoma-Starrcade 1999
  19. Junkyard Dog vs Moondog Spot-Wrestling Classic
  20. Hiroshi Wajima vs Tom Magee-All Japan Pro Wrestling 1988
  21. Jim Steele vs The Equalizer-SuperBrawl IV
  22. Kevin Sullivan vs Dave Sullivan-SuperBrawl V
  23. Steve McMichael vs Brian Adams-Road Wild 1998
  24. Scott Steiner vs Sid Vicious vs Jeff Jarrett vs Road Warrior Animal-Sin
  25. Batista vs The Great Khali-SummerSlam 2007
  26.  Sable vs Tori-WrestleMania XV
  27. Sid Vicious vs The Nightstalker-Clash of the Champions XIII
  28. The 8-Divas Tag Match-Survivor Series 1999
  29. Rick Rude vs Masahiro Chono-Halloween Havoc 1992
  30. Greg Valentine vs George Steele-Heroes of Wrestling
  31. Abdullah the Butcher vs One Man Gang-Heroes of Wrestling
  32. Hollywood Hogan vs The Warrior-Halloween Havoc 1998
  33. The Royal Family vs Clowns R' Us-Survivor Series 1994
  34. Sting vs Jeff Hardy-Victory Road 2011
  35. Ultimate Warrior vs Andre the Giant-Saturday Night's Main Event (11/25/1989)
  36. The Doomsday Cage Match-Uncensored 1996 
  37. Kaitlyn vs Maxine-NXT (10/19/10)
  38. James Storm vs Chris Harris-Lockdown 2007
  39. John Laurinaitis vs John Cena-Over the Limit 2012
And up next in the Worst in the World...

Oh great, these two again.
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