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Worst in the World: Mickie James vs Ashley-Royal Rumble 2006

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The Diva Search might be the actual worst thing to ever happen to women's wrestling as a whole. In 2004, WWE created a contest where women would "compete" against each other, with the winner receiving a WWE contract, similar to Tough Enough although with women only. The problem was that unlike Tough Enough, the Diva Search contests didn't involve wrestling at all, and mostly consisted of performing provocative acts and insulting each other on TV. Not only was it a massive blow to whatever credibility people like Trish Stratus and Victoria had created for women's wrestling in WWE, but it also jump started the careers of women who had no business anywhere near a wrestling ring. If it weren't for this contest, women like Michelle McCool and Rosa Mendes never would have had careers in wrestling, and rightfully so. While it did give us talented wrestlers like Taryn Terrell and Eve Torres, it's still a blight on women's wrestling
One of the worst, however, was Ashley Massaro, who won the contest in 2005. She seemed to have zero idea what she was doing in a ring, and was mostly regulated to fighting in Bra & Panties matches. However, on the rare chance she wasn't in a match where the requirement was "just look pretty", her limitations showed. Nowhere is better shown than in her match with experienced veteran Mickie James at the 2006 Royal Rumble, with Trish Stratus as referee.
After the two lock up to start the match, Mickie backs Ashley into the corner. Ashley lightly pushes Mickie, and they go for another lock up as the crowd chants "WE WANT PUPPIES" because who really cares about this match. The two lock up again for a long time, even rolling out of the ring while locked up, and push each other outside. The two roll back in and they both trade wrist locks, and Ashley rolling up Mickie for a one. Ashley proceeds to lock in two wrist locks in a row because that might be the only move she knows. She's done three in this match at this point, and Joey Styles won't stop talking about how "technically sound" she is. It gets annoying after a while, especially considering how basic the moves she does are.
Mickie rolls out of the ring and when she tries to get back in, Ashley boots her off the ring apron, which gets her some boos. This came when Mickie was in her psycho-lesbian phase and clearly the heel, so the babyface just got booed for beating up the heel. Ashley does a diving clothesline of the ring apron (and by "diving", I mean she walked off the apron), which leads to the most insincere call I've ever heard from Styles. 
Mickie gets back in the ring and Ashley rushes her in the corner, followed up by some horrible worked punches. Trish pulls Ashley off of Mickie, giving Mickie the opportunity to blindside Ashley. Mickie stomps Ashley and locks in a nice modified single leg Boston Crab before booting her from the ring. Mickie picks up Ashley and rams her into the ring post stomach first, which was nice until Ashley started loudly yelling to convey pain. She sounds like she's giving birth.
So despite being hit so hard she was yelling in pain, Ashley springs up, only to get a baseball slide from Mickie. Mickie continues to work over Ashley on the outside before rolling her back in and hitting a lovely fisherman suplex, but Mickie lets go at two. And it wasn't Mickie letting go because she's crazy, Ashley was supposed to kick out but didn't. Mickie even argues with Trish over the call.
Ashley starts to run wild, throwing in some terrible strikes before throwing Mickie by her hair. Ashley goes for a crucifix pin, which Mickie initially blocks until Ashley PULLS HER HAIR and makes her fall. You know, which is against the rules, and his something a heel would do. I'm sorry, are you a babyface? Because you're not doing a very good job. Ashley throws more terrible strikes before hitting, what very well might be, THE WORST SPEAR IN WRESTLING HISTORY. I swear, you need to see this, it's incredible. Mickie doesn't even fall down, she just stumbles into the corner. The crowd immediately gets on Ashley's case for this.
Ashley goes for the ten corner punches, only for Mickie to reverse it into a powerbomb and get the three, which Trish almost doesn't count because this needed to be prolonged for no reason.

The Verdict

This match was completely pointless. Ashley couldn't do anything besides wrist locks, and Mickie had to carry her throughout the match. But give credit to Mickie, she did good in this match despite the below average opponent.

Rankings (Best to Worst)

  1.  Too Much vs Al Snow & Head-King of the Ring 1998
  2. Vampiro vs Sting-Great American Bash 2000
  3. Konnan vs One Man Gang-SuperBrawl VI
  4. Ultimate Warrior vs Hercules-WrestleMania IV
  5. The Chamber of Horrors-Halloween Havoc 1991
  6. Nikita Koloff vs Bobby Eaton-Bunkhouse Stampede
  7. Total Divas vs Other Divas-Survivor Series 2013
  8. The Oddities vs Kaientai-SummerSlam 1998
  9. Hulk Hogan vs Sid Justice-WrestleMania VIII
  10. Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Hog Wild
  11. Jake Roberts vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania V
  12. Al Snow vs Big Boss Man-Unforgiven 1999
  13. Mickie James vs Ashley-Royal Rumble 2006
  14. Christy Hemme vs Big Fat Oily Guy-Against All Odds 2007
  15. Vampiro vs Oklahoma-Starrcade 1999
  16. Junkyard Dog vs Moondog Spot-Wrestling Classic
  17. Hiroshi Wajima vs Tom Magee-All Japan Pro Wrestling 1988
  18. Kevin Sullivan vs Dave Sullivan-SuperBrawl V
  19. Steve McMichael vs Brian Adams-Road Wild 1998
  20. Scott Steiner vs Sid Vicious vs Jeff Jarrett vs Road Warrior Animal-Sin
  21.  Sable vs Tori-WrestleMania XV
  22. Sid Vicious vs The Nightstalker-Clash of the Champions XIII
  23. Greg Valentine vs George Steele-Heroes of Wrestling
  24. Hollywood Hogan vs The Warrior-Halloween Havoc 1998
  25. The Royal Family vs Clowns R' Us-Survivor Series 1994
  26. Sting vs Jeff Hardy-Victory Road 2011
  27. Ultimate Warrior vs Andre the Giant-Saturday Night's Main Event (11/25/1989)
  28. The Doomsday Cage Match-Uncensored 1996 
  29. Kaitlyn vs Maxine-NXT (10/19/10)
  30. James Storm vs Chris Harris-Lockdown 2007
  31. John Laurinaitis vs John Cena-Over the Limit 2012

And up next in the Worst in the World is...
OH GOD, IT'S BACK!
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I'm still worked up about this; A F*CKING BATTLE AXE!

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