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Worst in the World: Edge vs Triple H vs Vladimir Kozlov-Survivor Series 2008

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Vladimir Kozlov is just one of the many wrestlers in WWE to be booked in angles and matches far beyond his ability. Debuting in April 2008, Kozlov squashed jobbers and went undefeated for 7 months before he was inserted into a three way feud with WWE Champion Triple H and Jeff Hardy. He was basically Ryback before Ryback. He was booked in a triple threat for the title at Survivor Series that year with Triple H and Hardy, and that would be the highest point of his career. He would get moved to ECW soon after, and eventually got teamed up with Santino Marella, which actually ended up being a good fit for him, until his release in 2011. Now you might have noticed that despite Hardy being in the feud and on the title card, that he's not listed in the title. That's because, for no reason whatsoever other than to further Jeff & Matt Hardy feud that we didn't know was happening yet, Hardy was written out of the match via a backstage attack that we didn't see. Also, you might be wondering how Edge works into this. I'll get to that. But for now, let's get into this NOT triple threat match between Triple H, Vladimir Kozlov, and no one else for the WWE Championship.
The match kicks off and we get another one of my big pet peeves in wrestling; The USA chant. There's nothing wrong with being proud of your country, but for some reason, crowds never seem to understand when to actually chant it. Remember that time Chris Benoit & Chris Jericho got a USA chant when they were fighting La Resistance? Doesn't something seem a little wrong about two Canadian wrestlers getting a USA chant? Here, it doesn't work because Kozlov never sh*t talked America. it wasn't like with Rusev or The Iron Sheik where they always talked about how much worse America was than their countries. It makes the fans come off as massive xenophobes because they're booing someone just for being from another country. Piss off with this nationalist bullsh*t.
Kozlov hits a belly-to-back suplex, but Triple H fights out and locks in a headlock. Kozlov escapes and the crowd starts chanting "Boring" and "We Want Hardy". Yeah, bet Vince regrets taking him out of this match now. The two continue to trade holds and reversals as the crowd has gotten completely bored out of their minds. The boring chants just keep getting louder, but they get back into it after Triple H hits a high knee. Triple H runs mild, hitting a DDT, and the fans stop caring again. They are so uninterested in this match that they start chant for TNA. TNA! That's how boring this match is.
Triple H hits a spinebuster and goes for the Pedigree, but Kozlov powers out and hits a headbutt. Triple H goes back on the offensive, but Kozlov whips him over the top rope and out of the ring. Kozlov starts to beat down Triple H at ringside, gets him back in the ring, and hits a fallaway slam. Kozlov continues to work over Triple H, hitting multiple back breakers in a row and locking in a gut wrench as the crowd dies. This is basically a mat wrestling match, and watching this makes me understand why nobody wrestles like this. IT'S SO BORING. All this is doing is killing the crowd. Actually, it's not killing the crowd because the crowd is already dead.
Kozlov continues to mat wrestle with Triple H as the crowd continues to chant for everything but the match. Kozlov tries to headbutt Triple H, but he dodges and makes Kozlov headbutt the turnbuckle. Triple H hits a Pedigree, but is to hurt to make the pin. Either that, or Kozlov was so boring that he made Triple H fall asleep mid match. Now that I think about it, it was probably that one. This brings out Vickie Guerrero, and you can literally see the disappointment in the crowd when they see someone come down, and then realize it's Vickie Guerrero. She says that this WILL be a triple threat match like she promised, and says that he's here! That's right, it's him!...EDGE! The crowd is supposed to boo, but they cheer him because he's about to save them from this match. 
Edge calls for the spear and spears Triple H. He covers, but out of nowhere comes Jeff Hardy, who breaks up the pin and attacks Edge. So...Hardy was completely OK? Then why was he taken out of the match in the first place? That doesn't make any sense. Hardy tries to hit Edge with a chair, but he ducks and Triple H takes the hit. Hardy follows this up with one on Kozlov, but Edge spears Hardy and covers Triple H for the win and the championship. Taz says he thinks this was a set-up. No, there was definitely nothing shady about a heel being added to a match right at the end of the match by his wife, who is also the general manager. Nothing sketchy at all.

The Verdict

Jesus, what a boring match. Kozlov's offense completely killed the crowd, and nobody cared about this match in the slightest. The only time they got excited was when Edge and Hardy showed up. It's no wonder why Kozlov's push diminished after this match.

Rankings (Best to Worst)

  1.  Too Much vs Al Snow & Head-King of the Ring 1998
  2. Vampiro vs Sting-Great American Bash 2000
  3. Konnan vs One Man Gang-SuperBrawl VI
  4. Ultimate Warrior vs Hercules-WrestleMania IV
  5. Rick Rude vs Hawk-Clash of the Champions XXV
  6. The Chamber of Horrors-Halloween Havoc 1991
  7. The Natural Disasters vs Money Inc.-WrestleMania VIII
  8. Nikita Koloff vs Bobby Eaton-Bunkhouse Stampede
  9. Total Divas vs Other Divas-Survivor Series 2013
  10. The Oddities vs Kaientai-SummerSlam 1998
  11. Hulk Hogan vs Sid Justice-WrestleMania VIII
  12. Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Hog Wild
  13. Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Souled Out 1997
  14. Jake Roberts vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania V
  15. Hulk Hogan vs Randy Savage-Uncensored 1998
  16. Al Snow vs Big Boss Man-Unforgiven 1999
  17. Mickie James vs Ashley-Royal Rumble 2006
  18. Christy Hemme vs Big Fat Oily Guy-Against All Odds 2007
  19. Vampiro vs Oklahoma-Starrcade 1999
  20. Junkyard Dog vs Moondog Spot-Wrestling Classic
  21. Hiroshi Wajima vs Tom Magee-All Japan Pro Wrestling 1988
  22. Jim Steele vs The Equalizer-SuperBrawl IV
  23. Edge vs Triple H vs Vladimir Kozlov-Survivor Series 2008
  24. Kevin Sullivan vs Dave Sullivan-SuperBrawl V
  25. Steve McMichael vs Brian Adams-Road Wild 1998
  26. Scott Steiner vs Sid Vicious vs Jeff Jarrett vs Road Warrior Animal-Sin
  27. Batista vs The Great Khali-SummerSlam 2007
  28.  Sable vs Tori-WrestleMania XV
  29. Sid Vicious vs The Nightstalker-Clash of the Champions XIII
  30. The 8-Divas Tag Match-Survivor Series 1999
  31. Rick Rude vs Masahiro Chono-Halloween Havoc 1992
  32. Greg Valentine vs George Steele-Heroes of Wrestling
  33. Abdullah the Butcher vs One Man Gang-Heroes of Wrestling
  34. Hollywood Hogan vs The Warrior-Halloween Havoc 1998
  35. The Royal Family vs Clowns R' Us-Survivor Series 1994
  36. Sting vs Jeff Hardy-Victory Road 2011
  37. Ultimate Warrior vs Andre the Giant-Saturday Night's Main Event (11/25/1989)
  38. The Doomsday Cage Match-Uncensored 1996 
  39. Kaitlyn vs Maxine-NXT (10/19/10)
  40. James Storm vs Chris Harris-Lockdown 2007
  41. John Laurinaitis vs John Cena-Over the Limit 2012

And up next in the Worst in the World...
Oh that's great. I get to watch the one bad match Shelton Benjamin has ever had.
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