I can't believe I'm 37 entries into Worst in the World and this is only the first time The Great Khali has shown up. Standing at 7'1 and debuting in WWE in 2006, Khali was booked as an unstoppable monster squashing the likes of then-World Heavyweight Champion Rey Mysterio and even the Undertaker. The only problem was that Khali was about as mobile as a brick, horribly uncoordinated, and couldn't cut a promo to save his life. Eventually, Khali became a comic relief character and pretty much stayed that way until his release in 2014, ending his 8-year run in the company. He is now seen as a blight on WWE history and is often considered one of the worst professional wrestlers of all time. Despite that status, that didn't stop WWE from pushing him as a main eventer, challenging John Cena & Triple H for the WWE Championship on separate occasions and even WINNING THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! You might think I'm kidding, but I'm not. Here it is on his Wikipedia page:
Here it is on WWE.com:
And here's a picture of him holding the belt upside down because OH MY GOD, YOU ACTUALLY MADE THIS GUY WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!
That happened and we let it happen. In his short 61 day reign, Khali defended the belt against Batista at SummerSlam 2007. This match was so unimportant and unwanted that WWE put it right before the main event, aka the Dead Spot. The world title match is the bathroom break match. I'm in for a treat.
First off, in one of my biggest pet peeves in wrestling, the champion Khali comes out first for his title defense. That should never happen. I don't care if Heath Slater is defending a title against Randy Orton, Slater should come out last because he is the champion, and he's got what Orton wants. Right off the bat, this is nothing but a punch-kick affair. Khali eventually floors Batista with a clothesline, followed by another one, before kicking Batista out of the ring. Batista pulls Khali's head down onto the ropes, and goes back to punching Khali before getting floored with a chop.
Batista kicks out of this, so Khali throws him into the post shoulder first twice and hits him to the ground again. Khali locks in a nerve grip, but Batista gets to the ropes. Khali reapplies the hold, which gets him a well-deserved "YOU CAN'T WRESTLE!" chant. Batista fights out and eats a big boot for his troubles as the crowd engages in a Mexican wave. Michael Cole says the fans are growing disappointed like that was the plan. "Yeah, let's intentionally book a sh*tty match so the fans get pissed and hate the show. That will get more people watching!" Monkeys with typewriters. That's who's writing this show.
Batista blocks the Vise Grip which gets a huge kiddie pop. You know, the kind of pop where you know the only people who are cheering are kids. Imagine the "Let's Go Cena" part of the "Let's Go Cena/Cena Sucks" chant. Batista hits a spinebuster and goes for the Batista Bomb, but Khali pushes out of it. Batista goes to the top rope, but gets caught and Khali hits a Khali Bomb for a two count. Khali's manager Ranjin Singh grabs a chair and slides it into the ring, which Khali uses to hit Batista and get disqualified. So despite dominating the entire match AND proving that Batsita couldn't actually hit the Batista Bomb on him, Khali intentionally got himself disqualified to retain. What a joke. After the match, Batista spears Khali and batters him with the chair. That was a World Heavyweight Championship match. 6 minutes and 51 seconds long. What a waste of time
The Verdict
A punch-kick affair with nothing of interest happening. Khali couldn't do anything outside of strikes and rest holds, and that fact that Khali basically had the match won and STILL got DQ'd is ridiculous. That's awful booking.
Rankings (Best to Worst)
- Too Much vs Al Snow & Head-King of the Ring 1998
- Vampiro vs Sting-Great American Bash 2000
- Konnan vs One Man Gang-SuperBrawl VI
- Ultimate Warrior vs Hercules-WrestleMania IV
- Rick Rude vs Hawk-Clash of the Champions XXV
- The Chamber of Horrors-Halloween Havoc 1991
- Nikita Koloff vs Bobby Eaton-Bunkhouse Stampede
- Total Divas vs Other Divas-Survivor Series 2013
- The Oddities vs Kaientai-SummerSlam 1998
- Hulk Hogan vs Sid Justice-WrestleMania VIII
- Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Hog Wild
- Jake Roberts vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania V
- Hulk Hogan vs Randy Savage-Uncensored 1998
- Al Snow vs Big Boss Man-Unforgiven 1999
- Mickie James vs Ashley-Royal Rumble 2006
- Christy Hemme vs Big Fat Oily Guy-Against All Odds 2007
- Vampiro vs Oklahoma-Starrcade 1999
- Junkyard Dog vs Moondog Spot-Wrestling Classic
- Hiroshi Wajima vs Tom Magee-All Japan Pro Wrestling 1988
- Jim Steele vs The Equalizer-SuperBrawl IV
- Kevin Sullivan vs Dave Sullivan-SuperBrawl V
- Steve McMichael vs Brian Adams-Road Wild 1998
- Scott Steiner vs Sid Vicious vs Jeff Jarrett vs Road Warrior Animal-Sin
- Batista vs The Great Khali-SummerSlam 2007
- Sable vs Tori-WrestleMania XV
- Sid Vicious vs The Nightstalker-Clash of the Champions XIII
- Rick Rude vs Masahiro Chono-Halloween Havoc 1992
- Greg Valentine vs George Steele-Heroes of Wrestling
- Abdullah the Butcher vs One Man Gang-Heroes of Wrestling
- Hollywood Hogan vs The Warrior-Halloween Havoc 1998
- The Royal Family vs Clowns R' Us-Survivor Series 1994
- Sting vs Jeff Hardy-Victory Road 2011
- Ultimate Warrior vs Andre the Giant-Saturday Night's Main Event (11/25/1989)
- The Doomsday Cage Match-Uncensored 1996
- Kaitlyn vs Maxine-NXT (10/19/10)
- James Storm vs Chris Harris-Lockdown 2007
- John Laurinaitis vs John Cena-Over the Limit 2012
And up next in the Worst in the World is...
Hey look, Ted Dibiase and Earthquake; two more people that I like. Ugh...
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