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My Thoughts on RAW (4/18/16): The Swiss Booty-Man

(Just a quick note, sorry I didn't post a review for last week's RAW. Lost track of time and didn't start RAW until halfway through)
  • RAW is in London tonight, so get ready for some totally legit cheers for Roman Reigns that totally weren't piped in
  • We kick off with the Ambrose Asylum, hosted by Dean Ambrose, same sh*tty hand drawn sign and all. Ambrose cracks a few jokes as the crowd chants "Dean-O". He name drops James Cordin and points out his parents are in the crowd. He brings out Shane McMahon, who is running RAW for the third straight week, proving further that WrestleMania 32 meant nothing. They talk about Shane's cage jump at Mania, and Ambrose asks Shane what his goals are for RAW. Shane says the fans deserve better, and he's going to give wrestlers who don't get opportunities the chances they deserve. Outcomes Kevin Owens, who says Shane is just doing the same crap Vince did for years, and that Shane has a personal vendetta against him. Owens says Sami Zayn doesn't belong in the WWE, which brings out Sami Zayn. Zayn says that the fact he got signed before Owens drives him crazy and made him throw away their friendship, and that Owens wouldn't be in WWE without him, which actually gets a few boos. This brings out Chris Jericho for some reason, who says Shane is drunk with power, and that he is the Best in the World at What He Does, including hosting a talk show. Shane announces that Jericho will face Ambrose at Payback, while Owens will be facing Zayn at Payback. Shane leaves the ring and the four wrestlers brawl, ending with Zayn and Ambrose tossing Owens and Jericho from the ring.
  • Chris Jericho vs Sami Zayn-Match kicks off right after the commercial with Zayn hitting a few arm drags. The two go back and forth before Jericho hits a back elbow, sending Zayn onto the apron. Zayn dodges a springboard dropkick and hits a springboard moonsault, rolling Jericho back into the ring afterwards. Jericho regains control in the ring after yanking Zayn down onto the rope when Zayn went for a springboard wristlock DDT. Jericho dropkicks Zayn out of the ring before the commercial break. We get back right after Jericho suplexs Zayn on the outside. Not going to lie, a stray cat literally tried jumping through my living room window, so I missed a bunch of my match seeing what happened. I started watching again when Zayn hit the Blue Thunder Bomb for a two count. Zayn goes for a flying nothing, but Jericho dropkicks him and locks in the Walls of Jericho. Zayn makes it to the bottom rope and launches Jericho over the top rope. Jericho walks away from the tope, but Zayn ends up catching him with his through the ring post dive tornado DDT. Back in the ring, Jericho gives Zayn a thumb to the eye and hits a Codebreaker for the win. Good match, shame I missed some of it thanks to that cat. 
  • Backstage, Mauro Ranallo (f*ck yeah!) interviews AJ Styles, when Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows show up. Gallows says they are going to make the most of their opportunities.
  • Enzo Amore & Colin Cassady vs The Dudley Boyz-Pre-match, Enzo & Cass cut there normal promos. Enzo says the Dudley Boyz are duds and haters. Enzo says he and Cass are like A cups; real whether you like them or not. Cass says the Dudleyz are S-A-W-F-T to end their promo. Amazing, these two are great. Enzo and D-Von kick off with D-Von pummeling Enzo. The Dudleyz beat down Enzo as we go to commercial. We get back with more of the same; the Dudleyz beating down Enzo. Enzo is unable to gain momentum, being taken down with a shoulder tackle by Bubba, which prompts Bubba to ask D-Von to "please destroy him". The two pummel Enzo until Bubba misses a middle rope senton, which allows Enzo to make the tag. Big Cass runs wild on D-Von until he misses a corner splash. D-Von tags in Bubba, who accidentally hits D-Von out of the ring, which allows Cass to hit the big boot and he & Enzo hit the Rocket Launcher for the win. Fine match, nothing special
  • Outcomes Roman Reigns, who still gets a lot of boos. Surprising, I thought they would have edited them out since this show was taped. Reigns cuts THE EXACT SAME PROMO he has cut for the last two weeks. Jesus, now I have a new reason to dislike him. He says AJ Styles will not beat him at Payback, and that this is the era of the Roman Empire. Outcomes AJ Styles to a big pop. Styles says Reigns is a good champion, which gets boos. He says he has to have the match of his life to beat Reigns, which is what he does. Reigns said he had the match of his life at WrestleMania, and he'd rather be respected and champion than liked and not. Styles leaves, and Gallows & Anderson attack Reigns as Styles looks on. 
  • Reigns is walking backstage when Styles runs up to him. He says he had nothing to do with Gallows & Anderson attacking him, but Reigns is having none of it. He brings up the attack on the Usos last week, and says he'll beat him at Payback anyway
  • Fandango vs Baron Corbin-Dolph Ziggler is on commentary for this match. Also, Corbin's entrance isn't as cool when you can see him clearly walking up to the final spotlight instead of just seeing him when he walks through other spotlights. Corbin demolishes Fandango, even tossing him into Ziggler on commentary. Corbin throws Fandango in the ring and hits the End of Days for the quick win. After the match, Ziggler attacks Corbin, and ends up eating an End of Days on the floor. Corbin is fantastic.
  • It's MizTV!...(changes channel). Miz & Maryse down talk Prince George and they make out in the ring before Cesaro comes out. They talk about Hollywood and stuff before Miz performs a "Miz-ified" version of a monologue from Takeover, just to say he'll beat Cesaro at Payback. Cesaro responds by saying he'll beat the Miz and quotes Roddy Piper from They Live. Miz says that he won't fight Cesaro tonight, because he already has a match against Rusev tonight. However, Cesaro says that he talked to Shane McMahon, and the match has been changed to an 8-man tag between the League of Nations and Miz against Cesaro and his partners. He rips off his suit to reveal he's wearing his partner's t-shirt...IT'S A NEW DAY, YES IT IS!
  • The League of Nations & The Miz vs The New Day & Cesaro-We get back from commercial with Miz and Xavier Woods in the ring, who go back and forth before Woods hits a rolling elbow. The New Day beat down Miz, ending with a big splash from Big E. Miz tags in Del Rio and he beats down Kofi until he eats a Trevor Lee-style jumping stomp. The New Day and Cesaro do the Unicorn Stampede, ending with a slingshot dropkick by Cesaro and a Irish whip dropkick by Kofi. Del Rio regains control with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on Woods, which allows the heels to take control. The heels beat down Woods as we go to commercial. We get back to the heels still beating down Woods until he makes the hot tag to Cesaro, Cesaro runs absolutely wild, uppercutting the heels to death and hitting a top rope crossbody on Sheamus. He calls for the swing, but Miz stops it and Shemaus hits a Sky High, but Woods breaks up the pin. Everyone gets their finishers in, ending with Cesaro planting Sheamus with a Neutralizer for the win. Fun match
  • Backstage Mauro Ranallo (f*ck yeah!) interviews Charlotte and Ric Flair. Regarding last week's finish to her match with Natalya, Charlotte says she doesn't have to beat anyone, and that brings in Natalya. Natalya says she made Charlotte tap, and that they'll face off at Payback with Bret Hart in her corner.
  • Natalya, Becky Lynch, Paige, & Sasha Banks vs Team B.A.D., Summer Rae, & Charlotte-Not much important stuff happened before the heels started beating down Becky. Tamina wears down Becky with a headlock as Summer clotheslines her too the ground. Summer beats her down and tags in Naomi, who hits a dropkick to a seated Becky in the corner, but flies out of the ring when charging at Becky, who makes the tag to Natalya. Natalya runs wild on Summer Rae, hitting a Russian Leg Sweep, and a springboard atomic drop, but eats a spinning heel kick. Charlotte makes a blind tag, all hell breaks loose, and Natalya makes Charlotte tap to the Sharpshooter.
  • Another weird Primo & Epico promo happened
  • The Vaudevillians vs The Usos-Awesome new entrance theme for the Vaudevillians, definitely an upgrade. Didn't make sense for them to have such an upbeat song if they're bad guys. Simon Gotch starts with one Uso. The Vaudevillians beat down the Uso until he hits an enziguri on Aiden English and makes the tag. The other Uso runs wild, hitting the corner hip attack on English, tosses Gotch from the ring, and superkicks English, with Gotch breaking up the pin, Gotch takes out one Uso, only to eat a suicide dive from the other one. English capitalizes on the injured Uso's shoulder and hits the Whirling Dervish with Gotch for the win. Oddly quick match, never really got going.
  • They announce the Tag Team Tournament Finals will be held at Payback. It's Enzo & Cass vs The Vaudevillians. God, it's so great to see two NXT tag teams getting pushed as two of the top teams in the division.
  • Heath Slater vs Apollo Crews-This match came to be on the pre-show, where Crews agreed to join the Social Outcasts if Slater beats him. Crews takes control quickly, dropkicking Slater out of the ring and hitting a delayed vertical suplex when he gets back in. Slater gets some offense in when he rams Crews into the corner and locks in a headlock. He holds this for a long time before Crews runs wild, hitting a leaping elbow before getting tossed onto the apron, where he moonsaults onto Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel. After almost getting pinned after Slater reverses a cross body, Crews hits a spinning sit out powerbomb for the win. Nothing match. I like Crews, but he has zero character whatsoever. He needs to have some kind of character development.
  • Kevin Owens vs Dean Ambrose-The two immedatley go to punch it out before Ambrose gains control, kicking and chopping Owens in the corners before knocking him down with a knee. Owens floors Ambrose with an elbow and takes control, pounding away on Ambrose, hits a superkick, and DDTs Ambrose for a two count. Owens locks in a headlock and yells "HEADLOCK MASTER BAYBAY!" because he's the best, but Ambrose gets out, knocks Owens out of the ring, and follows it up with a suicide dive. Owens tosses Ambrose over the announce table, and the two fight behind and around the announce table. We go to commercial after Ambrose tosses Owens over the table. We come back to Owens catching Ambrose on the top rope, putting him in the Tree of Woe, and hitting the Cannonball followed by a senton for a two count. The Headlock Master locks in another headlock, which Ambrose fights out of with punches, but Owens tosses him from the ring. Owens hits a frog splash off the apron and leaves Ambrose to get counted out. Ambrose gets back in just in time and eats a boot from Owens. Headlock from the Headlock Master, which Ambrose gets out of with a back suplex. Ambrose goes back to the top rope, but Owens catches him and goes to superplex Ambrose, but he fights out and Owens rolls out of the ring. Ambrose hits an elbow drop on Owens outside of the ring, and the two go head to head back in the ring. The two trade blows, with Ambrose hitting some rapid chops and punches and hits the rebound clothesline for a two count. Ambrose catches Owens on the top rope and superplexs him, but only gets a two count. Ambrose reverses a Pop Up Powerbomb with a hurricanrana, but Owens lands a superkick for a two count. Ambrose tries for another superplex off the top rope, but Owens blocks it twice and hits his twisting fisherman suplex off the top rope for a two count. Owens goes to the top for a frog splash, but Ambrose blocks with his knees, avoids a cannonball, and hits Dirty Deeds for the win. Great match, these two work so well together. After the match, Jericho sneaks up and hits Ambrose with a Codebreaker to close the show.
And that's about it. Overall, another great show. Payback looks great so far, hopefully it lives up to the hype.

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