Worst in the World: Mike Awesome vs Vampiro-Halloween Havoc 2000

The booking of Mike Awesome in WCW never ceases to amaze me. In 2000, WCW managed to snag then-ECW Champion Awesome away from ECW due to overdue wages from Paul Heyman. Since they had lost so many talents by 2000 (Jericho, Benoit, Big Show, Guerrero), picking up a relatively big name in wrestling seemed like a good move. Awesome might not have been a good promo and was a pretty unsafe worker, but at least the had a main eventer and a potential star. What did they do with their new star? Nothing. Despite attacking Kevin Nash in his debut and getting involved in the main event at Slamboree 2000, Awesome's WCW run went downhill from there. Awesome was saddled with several horrible gimmicks (which he blames on his relation to Hulk Hogan, who had left after the infamous Bash at the Beach incident) during his stint in WCW. Two of these gimmicks were the "Fat Chick Thrilla", which revolved around his love of big women, and the "Canadian Career Killer" in Team Canada, which made no sense because Awesome was not Canadian. But in this entry, we take a look at arguably the lamest gimmick he had; That 70s Guy. Because That 70s Show was popular at the time, WCW decided to dress him like a person from the 70s and have him drive around in a Partridge Family bus. Man, can you believe this company would be dead in half a year? Awesome faces Vampiro, who has a bad habit of showing up on this list, at Halloween Havoc 2000

Before the match, Vampiro cuts an awful promo where he states that he's going to kick Awesome's ass, and he wants Awesome's WCW World Heavyweight Championship shot. Before I talk about the promo, let's just think about the fact that WCW thought super athletic, ripped Mike Awesome can't compete for a world title, but THAT 70S GUY Mike Awesome sure can! Jesus christ. And the promo, Vampiro basically says the same phrases over and over again. The promo basically goes "Mike Awesome, I'm going to kick your ass, big guy. And I want your title match, big guy, so I'm gonna kick your ass. How bout you put that title match on the line big guy, so I can kick your ass and get that title shot, big guy? Big guy, kick your ass, title match, title match, big guy, kick your ass". Awful. Awesome agrees and the match starts.

Oddly enough, Awesome and Vampiro do the "Neither man can knock each other down" shoulder tackle spot. Mike Awesome has at least 40 pounds on Vampiro, this spot shouldn't be able to happen. The two trade moves before Awesome hits a diving shoulder tackle and Vampiro rolls out of the ring. Awesome hits his big Undertaker dive under two minutes into the match, which I've always had a problem with. You've got this awesome (no pun intended...actually, yes pun intended) move that looks great, but you blow it at the beginning of the match. Could you imagine if Cesaro kicked off his matches with the Cesaro Swing instead of waiting until the match heats up. That's just bad timing. Vampiro reverses an Irish whip and sends Awesome into the guard rail (which the camera completely misses), but Awesome back drops Vampiro over the guard rail into some security guards. Awesome does a jumping body press off the guard rail, which neither man falls for because something tells me they aren't bumping on cement.

The two walk through the crowd (no countout, by the way, it's been well over ten seconds) before the make it to the stairs. The two punch each other a couple of times as the ref tells them to get back in the ring (instead of counting them out of course) before Vampiro hits Awesome with a microphone stand he found in the audience. No joke, he pulls a microphone stand from the stands:

Why is there a microphone stand in the crowd? If it's a crowd mic, then why is it so close to the fans? This doesn't make any sense. The commentators don't even know why there's a microphone stand there. Vampiro then takes somebody's cane and beats Awesome with it. None of this gets a DQ, by the way. Vampiro hits Awesome with a cup of soda before a fan jumps and headbutts Awesome.

Vampiro and Awesome team up and beat up the fan and rightfully so, don't hit wrestlers. The two remember "Oh, that's right, we're having a match" and slowly brawl back to ringside. Vampiro hops onto the announce table and hits a jumping clothesline, which Awesome takes a nice Sable bump for.

So in this match with disqualifications, but no disqualifications at the same time, Vampiro slides a chair into the ring and grabs one of his own. Awesome grabs the chair in the ring (almost like Vampiro slid it in the ring so Awesome could get it) , and the two have a choreographed chair battle. Awesome loses his chair and dodges a shot, but Vampiro reverses an Irish whip attempt, throws Awesome the chair, and hits a spinning heel kick in an incredible stunted mess.
The two trade strikes before Awesome goes to the top rope. Vampiro meets him up there and hits the worst looking belly-to-belly suplex I've ever seen. Awesome jumps about a foot over Vampiro, who doesn't fall back properly to look like he's throwing him. Vampiro goes for a seated senton from the top rope, but Awesome catches him for an incredibly sloppy powerbomb. Just terrible on all parts.
Awesome gets a table because this match has no disqualifications still, apparently, and throws the table at Vampiro. This is when Stevie Ray on commentary finally points out what I've been saying this entire time; "Nobody said anything about hardcore rules, why is this legal?". FINALLY! SOMEONE SAID IT! You know what, Stevie Ray? You're in my Fave Five now! Number 2, right behind Steve Blackman.
Vampiro hits the Nail in the Coffin, but rather than cover and win a world title shot, rolls out of the ring to look for a weapon. Only...it's not there. Seriously, Vampiro walks around to every side of the ring too look for whatever he was looking for and it's not anywhere, so he just gets back in the ring. WCW, everybody! Awesome clothesline Vampiro, who rolls back out as Awesome goes to the top rope. Awesome hits an Awesome Bomb on the outside and makes the cover AND THE REF COUNTS THE PIN! WHAT THE F*CK! THIS IS SUDDENLY A FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH?! WHAT EVEN IS THIS MATCH?!
Vampiro kicks out of this because why not, just keep salting the wound, why don't you. They go back in the ring, Awesome goes back to the top, Vampiro meets him there, but babyface Mike Awesome low blows him and Awesome Bombs Vampiro from the top rope for the win.

The Verdict

Man, what in the world was this? So many botches, such stunted offense, and zero stability whatsoever. They never mentioned this was a hardcore match, or a falls count anywhere match. Yet they just ran with it.  It's matches like these that show why WCW went out of business.

Rankings (Best to Worst)

1.  Too Much vs Al Snow & Head-King of the Ring 1998
2. Vampiro vs Sting-Great American Bash 2000
3. T&A vs Head Cheese-WrestleMania 2000
4. Konnan vs One Man Gang-SuperBrawl VI
5. Ultimate Warrior vs Hercules-WrestleMania IV
6. Rick Rude vs Hawk-Clash of the Champions XXV
7. Shelton Benjamin vs Viscera-New Year's Revolution 2006
8. The Chamber of Horrors-Halloween Havoc 1991
9. The Natural Disasters vs Money Inc.-WrestleMania VIII
10. Nikita Koloff vs Bobby Eaton-Bunkhouse Stampede
11. Total Divas vs Other Divas-Survivor Series 2013
12. The Oddities vs Kaientai-SummerSlam 1998
13. Hulk Hogan vs Sid Justice-WrestleMania VIII
14. Dusty Rhodes vs Big Boss Man-Saturday Night's Main Event (10/31/1989)
15. Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Hog Wild
16. Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Souled Out 1997
17. Jake Roberts vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania V
18. Hulk Hogan vs Randy Savage-Uncensored 1998
19. Al Snow vs Big Boss Man-Unforgiven 1999
20. Mickie James vs Ashley-Royal Rumble 2006
21. Christy Hemme vs Big Fat Oily Guy-Against All Odds 2007
22. Team WCW vs nWo Wolfpac vs nWo Hollywood-Fall Brawl 1998
23. Vampiro vs Oklahoma-Starrcade 1999
24. Hulk Hogan vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania III
25. Junkyard Dog vs Moondog Spot-Wrestling Classic
26. Hiroshi Wajima vs Tom Magee-All Japan Pro Wrestling 1988
27. Jim Steele vs The Equalizer-SuperBrawl IV
28. Edge vs Triple H vs Vladimir Kozlov-Survivor Series 2008
29. Kevin Sullivan vs Dave Sullivan-SuperBrawl V
30. Steve McMichael vs Brian Adams-Road Wild 1998
31. Scott Steiner vs Sid Vicious vs Jeff Jarrett vs Road Warrior Animal-Sin
32. Batista vs The Great Khali-SummerSlam 2007
33.  Sable vs Tori-WrestleMania XV
34. Sid Vicious vs The Nightstalker-Clash of the Champions XIII
35. The 8-Divas Tag Match-Survivor Series 1999
36. Rick Rude vs Masahiro Chono-Halloween Havoc 1992
37. Mike Awesome vs Vampiro-Halloween Havoc 2000
38. Greg Valentine vs George Steele-Heroes of Wrestling
39. Abdullah the Butcher vs One Man Gang-Heroes of Wrestling
40. Hollywood Hogan vs The Warrior-Halloween Havoc 1998
41. The Royal Family vs Clowns R' Us-Survivor Series 1994
42. Sting vs Jeff Hardy-Victory Road 2011
43. Ultimate Warrior vs Andre the Giant-Saturday Night's Main Event (11/25/1989)
44. The Doomsday Cage Match-Uncensored 1996 
45. Kaitlyn vs Maxine-NXT (10/19/10)
46. Sabu vs The Sandman-November to Remember 1997
47. James Storm vs Chris Harris-Lockdown 2007
48. John Laurinaitis vs John Cena-Over the Limit 2012

.And up next is...

IT'S THE LAST HOGAN MATCH! THAT'S #8! OH HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN!

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