The Wrestling Section

I've thrown quite a few jabs at Vince Russo on this blog for his horrible booking decisions and bizarre gimmick matches, but this takes the cake. What Vince Russo said on the most recent edition of The Gerweck Report podcast is without a doubt the stupidest thing I have ever heard him say. He has said things like Kevin Owens would never draw money in WWE, but this is far worse. You ready for this? Seriously, this is incredible ignorance right here. Alright...here it goes... VINCE RUSSO THINKS THAT BOOKING DAVID ARQUETTE AS WCW CHAMPION WAS NOT ONLY A GOOD IDEA BUT ALSO SUCCESSFUL. No seriously, I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't heard it myself, but take a listen right here . Russo says that the entire title reign was a publicity stunt, that it was successful because it got on the cover of USA Today and Arquette shot a segment with Courtney Cox & Kurt Russell once with the belt, and that the "freaking morons" in the Internet wrestling community "th...

OH BOY...let's talk about David Flair. The eldest son of the legendary Ric Flair, David would make his wrestling debut at Souled Out 1999, teaming with his father against Curt Hennig and Barry Windham. He had big shoes to fill from there on out...and boy, he didn't even come close. Not only was David nowhere near as good in the ring as his father, but he was also about as charismatic as a plank of wood. David's two-year career in WCW ended when WWE bought out the company, and after getting the living piss beat out of him by the Undertaker twice, he was pretty much done with wrestling. In those two years in WCW, he managed to snag a United States Championship reign, and Tag Team Championship reign with Crowbar, and Stacy Keibler. That's not a joke, David Flair actually dated Stacy Keibler in real life at one point. Good for him. Anyways, onto the match. This match came about after Diamond Dallas Page injured Ric Flair, so in response, David injured Page with a crowb...

I've said this more than a few times on this blog , but since it has come up again, I'll say it again; NON-WRESTLERS SHOULD NOT WRESTLE. THEY ARE NOT GOOD AT IT. There are notable exceptions like Lawernce Taylor and Stephen Amell, but they are far and few between. That being said, you can't change the past, and there are a ton of these non-wrester matches to get through. This entry in the Worst in the World takes a look at the ill-fated match between RAW General Manager Eric Bischoff against SmackDown General Manager Teddy Long at Survivor Series 2005. We've already seen Long try to wrestle, let's see how Bischoff fares. I mean, these guys had been around the wrestling business for over a decade each, they must know how to put a watchable match together, right?...Right? Let's get into this. The match kicks off with over a minute of Long dodging Bischoff, Long's manager Palmer Cannon hops up on the apron to mock Bischoff. Hey, remember Palmer Cannon?...

Shinsuke Nakamura vs Wesley Blake- Man, Wesley Blake's new entrance theme is...lame. Like...what even was that? Whatever, he's getting murked anyway. After a series of back and forth spots, Blake blows Nakamura a kiss. Nakamura catches it and looks disgusted. Blake blows him another one, which he catches again. After the referee refuses to take them, he throws them down steps on them. Shinsuke Nakamura is the absolute best. Nakamura takes control with a knee to the gut, followed by two Good Vibrations in the corner. Blake takes control afterwards with a kick and big clothesline for one. Blake continues to work over Nakamura, getting a few near falls along the way until Nakamura catches his foot on a corner choke. Nakamura strikes away at Blake, does the corner face wash, hits the running knee in the corner, the inverted exploder suplex, and finishes off Blake with the Kinshasa. After the match, William Regal comes out to announce that Shinsuke Nakamura will challenge Samoa...

We kick off the show with Daniel Bryan & Shane McMahon welcoming everybody to SmackDown. After the new opening, we see the entire SmackDown roster standing on the ring apron with Shane & D-Bry in the ring. Shane announces that September 11th will mark the first SmackDown exclusive pay-per-view Backlash. He then brings out the WWE Champion Dean Ambrose, who says he's ready for his next challenge and ask's who's first, and Bryan announces a #1 Contenders Six-Pack Challenge tonight, with the winner facing Ambrose at SummerSlam. Bryan announces the first five participants as John Cena, Bray Wyatt, Dolph Ziggler, Baron Corbin, and AJ Styles, with the sixth participant being decided in a battle royal next. Battle Royal for the 6th Spot in the #1 Contenders Six-Pack Challenge- The match kicks off with everyone trying to eliminate Kane & Erick Rowan. Simon Gitch gets tossed first (gee, wonder why?) followed by Kane eliminating both members of the Ascension and Bree...

We kick off the show and RAW has a completely new look, new theme song, including a new logo, new commentary team, and new set up. Mick Foley & Stephanie McMahon open the show and bring out the entire roster. Stephanie throws shade at Roman Reigns for losing at Battleground last night and calls him a loser. Stephanie says that the world wants a World Championship on RAW and that there will be two Fatal 4-Way matches to determine the two men who will face off in the main event. The winner faces Seth Rollins for the new WWE Universal Heavyweight Championship. The 8 men participating are Sami Zayn, Sheamus, Chris Jericho, Cesaro, Roman Reigns, Rusev, Kevin Owens, and Finn Balor. Stephanie then brings Charlotte forward, and Foley says that because she lost at Battleground, she'll be defending the Women's Championship against Sasha Banks tonight. Cesaro vs Rusev vs Kevin Owens vs Finn Balor- Finn Balor on RAW...so great. Rusev and Cesaro quickly exit the ring and fight on ...

Pre-Show Match #1: The Usos vs Breezango Winners: The UsosNot much to really say. Usos are probably going to win. Main Card Match #1: Sasha Banks & ? vs Charlotte & Dana Brooke Winners: Sasha Banks & ? It better be Bayley. It just better be. So yeah, I'm probably getting my hopes up hoping Sasha Banks' mystery partner is Bayley, but I really want it to be her. I've heard rumors of Nikki Bella or Nia Jax being the mystery partner, even though the latter makes literally zero sense from a character or storytelling point. No matter who the partner is though, I'm going with Banks' team for the win, with Dana Brooke eating the pin. Match #2: The New Day vs The Wyatt Family Winners: The New Day I was interested in this feud, and then they had that lame Wyatt Family compound fight (or the "New Day-letion", if you would), now I couldn't care less. Since the Wyatt Family got split up via the draft, I'm going with the Ne...

Rhyno vs Samoa Joe- The match kicks off with the two going back and forth trying to knock each other down. The crowd chants "Vote For Rhyno", which is funny. Rhyno is finally able to knock Joe down and beats down Joe, but Joe quickly regains control. Joe beats down Rhyno for a long time until Rhyno dodges a senton. Rhyno runs wild, hitting a pretty poor belly-to-belly and calls for the Gore. Joe blocks it with a knee and hits the corner Uranage before locking in the Coquina Clutch for the submission win. Pretty lame match, pretty slow and plodding. Backstage, Andrea DeMarco (who is so generic I keep forgetting her name) interviews Asuka. She says she'll fight both Nia Jax and Bayley. American Alpha vs The Authors of Pain- Except, NOPE! The Authors of Pain ambush American Alpha, toss Jordan off the entrance ramp, and throw Gable down on the steel ramp. The Authors of Pain and Paul Ellering get in the ring and despite having referees try to help them to the back, Gab...

Whenever professional wrestling tries to do anything other than professional wrestling, they fall flat on their face. Just look at things like the XFL, the World Bodybuilding Federation, or the Brawl for All tournament; all are now infamous failures from WWE and Vince McMahon, who tried to branch outside of wrestling and failed. And don't even get me started with WWE Films! What might be worse than those, however, is whenever professional wrestling companies try to book a real fight (like boxing or MMA) with a scripted finish. You see, here's the thing, you can't script a real fight and make it look real, despite what a lot of people might believe. If you try to make it look real and have two guys go all out on each other, what are the odds that the scripted loser lands one too many good punches and knocks out the winner? It just doesn't work. That hasn't stopped wrestling companies from trying, with matches like AJ Styles vs Frank Trigg taking place at TNA...