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My Thoughts on RAW (7/18/16): Karl Anderson's Hot Asian Wife

  • We kick off the show with Stephanie McMahon, who is quickly interrupted by Shane McMahon. They take about balls a lot before Stephanie announces the revival of the Cruiserweight Division on RAW. Shane mentions that he's been talking to his General Manager, and the crowd starts chanting "YES!" because we all know who it is. Stephanie then announces that the General Manager of RAW is...MICK FOLEY! Shane says he likes the pick because it means he won't see Stephanie every week. Shane then announces his General Manager is...STEVE BLACKMAN! Not really, but could you imagine? No the General Manager is actually...DANIEL BRYAN! YES! YES! YES! Bryan refuses to shake Stephanie's hand, clearly remembering this little gem. Stephanie degrades Bryan because she's awful and likes to make the people WHO MAKE HER MONEY look bad. Shane says he & Bryan are going to make SmackDown the #1 show WWE has.
  • Chris Jericho & Kevin Owens vs Sami Zayn & Cesaro-Cesaro & Jericho start with Cesaro hitting a gut wrench suplex. Zayn tags in and hits a few arm drags before locking in an armbar. Zayn makes Jericho fly out of the ring and goes for the tope, but Owens gets in the way and distracts him, allowing Jericho to hit Zayn from behind before the commercial break. We come back to Jericho & Owens beating down Zayn. Jericho throws Zayn out of the ring and Owens tries to cheap shot him, but Zayn takes him out along with Jericho. This allows Zayn to make the hot tag to Cesaro, who runs wild on the heels. He runs through the Uppercut Train, getting a nearfall on Jericho, but Jericho counters the Cesaro Swing with a roll up for a nearfall. Jericho counters the Neutralizer and Cesaro & Jericho tag out. Owens and Zayn brawl, ending with Zayn countering the Pop Up Powerbomb with a dropkick. Zayn goes for the Helluva Kick, but Jericho tags in and stops him. Cesaro tags in and hits a flying crossbody. The two trade roll ups before Cesaro swings Jericho, but Owens stops him mid-swing. Zayn tags in and hits the wristlock-springboard DDT, but Jericho was still the legal man and attempts to school boy Zayn. Zayn reverses and cradles Jericho for the win. Good match, could have been better.
  • Backstage, a few superstars welcome Daniel Bryan back before he runs into Stephanie. Stephanie insults him, and Bryan sarcastically congratulates her on ruining RAW.
  • Alberto Del Rio vs Darren Young-Del Rio starts the match working over Young's arm. Young dodges a step up enziguri and runs wild, flooring Del Rio with a right hand. Miz hops up on the apron to distract Young, but he runs over and knocks him down. Del Rio school boys him, but the referee is focused on Miz. Del Rio goes to get the referee, allowing Young to roll him up ad pin him with a bridge. That was pretty lame. So far since coming back Young has won a battle royale because two people accidentally eliminated themselves and won a singles match via double distraction roll up. What reason have they given us to cheer him? Don't get me wrong, I like Darren Young the wrestler, but why should I like Darren Young the character.
  • Outcomes John Cena, who runs down everything we already know; the draft is tomorrow, we've got new General Managers, and Battleground is this Sunday. Also, we can't see him. Outcomes Enzo & Cass, and Enzo says the Club have insecurities. He calls Gallows ugly, says AJ Styles a has a soccer mom haircut, and calls Anderson as generic as Times New Roman. Cena then gives Enzo grief for just saying a bunch of punchlines. Cena says he doesn't understand the "How You Doin'" thing, and that they need to be serious about their match at Battleground with the Club, and Cass says when it's time to fight, they get serious. Cass tries to call the Club SAWFT, but the Club interrupts him. Anderson says Cena, Amore, and Cass don't have chemistry like the Club or him and his hot Asian wife. I love how that's his new go-to thing; just bringing up the fact that he has a hot Asian wife. The Club then marks out at the fact that they get to not only beat up John Cena, but Enzo, Cass, and The New Day. This brings out the New Day, who make wanking jokes. Styles mocks them for being scared of the Wyatts, and Woods responds by saying the Wyatt's mind games didn't break them. The New Day then gives Cena grief for not understanding "How You Doin'" and do one of their own. Cena tries to say something, but Big E starts the "NEW DAY ROCKS!" chant, only to be interrupted bu the Wyatts.
  • John Cena, Enzo Amore, Big Cass, and The New Day vs The Club and The Wyatt Family-The match starts during commercial break. starting with Cena running through Anderson & Rowan, but Gallows takes him down with a shoulder tackle. Big E tags in and hits a belly-to-belly suplex. Strowman tags in and takes Big E with a clothesline. Big E tries to tag in Cass, but Enzo makes the tag. He gets murked, and he tags in Cass. Cass & Strowman stare each other down before Strowman randomly smacks Cena off the apron. I loved it. Chaos ensues as Cass & Strowman clear the ring and stare each other down. Cass takes it to Strowman with a big boot and Kofi tags in. Strowman isn't able to stay up when Kofi dives on him, so they fall to the ground and Strowman lifts him back up like nothing happened and slams him before the commercial. We come back to Wyatt beating down Kofi. Cena tags in and runs wild on Wyatt. He calls for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Wyatt does his spider walk and scares Cena. The heels go to work on Cena until he tags out to Big Cass. Cass runs wild, hitting the Empire Elbow on Styles and goes for a fallaway slam, but Strowman stops him. Chaos ensues again, everyone gets their spots in, including a big tope by Woods onto the Wyatts. Cass destroys Styles with a big boot, but Gallows breaks up a Rocket Laucher attempt. More chaos ensues as the New Day and the Wyatt Family fight backstage. A miscommunication between Enzo and Cena allows Styles to hit the Pele Kick and the Styles Clash on Enzo for the win. Good match, very exciting, admittedly a bit too chaotic at points.
  • Backstage, Mick Foley is talking to Breezango before being interrupted by Shane. He says he thinks Stephanie only chose him as the General Manager so he can manipulate him. Foley says he sees the passion in Stephanie, and that he wants better himself as well.
  • Baron Corbin vs Sin Cara-No entrances for either team. Also, the Lucha Dragons are officially broken up. Corbin smartly turns Sin Cara's mask to the side so he can't see. Smart heel move. Better than what Del Rio does where he tries to make it look like he's lift the mask over the guy's face but not really, but he actually does cause he's awful.
Stupid idiot...Sin Cara runs wild for a bit, but Corbin eventually wins with the End of Days. Afterwards, Corbin tries to beat down Sin Cara, but Kalisto runs down to make the save, so he beats him up. Baron Corbin is great
  • Sasha Banks & Becky Lynch vs Charlotte & Dana Brooke-Charlotte immediately tags out, allowing Dana Brooke to take a beating from Sasha & Becky. However, Natalya runs down and beats up Becky Lynch, causing a DQ. Charlotte & Dana beat down Sasha to end the segment. It just came to me that it's been a year since the Divas Revolution started, and very little process has been made. We still get sh*t finishes, mostly short TV matches, and we've got a champion who can't get over without her dad who retains based on those sh*t finishes.
  • Rusev & Sheamus vs Zack Ryder & Dolph Ziggler-Ryder & Sheamus start off with Sheamus beating down Ryder. Ryder fights back, but the heels retain control thanks to a distraction by Rusev and toss him to the outside. Rusev tosses Ryder into the barricade and Sheamus hits a rolling senton on the outside before bringing Ryder back in the ring. Ryder reverses a suplex and hits a neck breaker on Sheamus, which allows him to make the tag to Ziggler. Ziggler runs wild on Rusev, hitting a Famouser, but Sheamus breaks it up. Rusev superkicks Ziggler in the back of the head and locks in the Accolade for the submission win. So in the last two weeks, Ryder got beat in quick fashion, and then got obliterated the next week. This guy is challenging for a title on Sunday. State of your challenger, WWE.
  • Backstage, the Ascension are talking to Mick Foley when Daniel Bryan walks up. They say they want to have a friendly rivalry and throw jabs at each other. It looks like Foley is subtly  turning heel.
  • Dean Ambrose (c) vs Seth Rollins for the WWE Championship-Stephanie, Shane, Bryan, and Foley are all at ringside. The two kick off several back and forth exchanges before Ambrose hits a few arm drags and Rollins rolls out of the ring. Rollins takes control when he gets back in the ring, beating down Ambrose until Ambrose clotheslines him out of the ring. Ambrose comes out after him and throws him into the barricade. Ambrose hits a rebound clothesline and an apron diving clothesline before the commercial break. We come back with Rollins in control, working over Ambrose. Ambrose almost gets the flash roll up, but Rollins kicks out. Ambrose eventually runs wild, hitting a fisherman's suplex for a near fall. The two exchange roll ups, ending with a jumping neckbreaker by Ambrose for a nearfall. Ambrose escapes a Pedigree attempt and blocks a suicide dive before clotheslining Rollins out of the ring and hitting a suicide dive of his own. Ambrose misses a clothesline and Rollins powerbombs him into the barricade. Rollins quickly rolls Ambrose back in the ring and hits a Frog Splash for a near fall just before the commercial break. We come back to Ambrose reversing a powerbomb attempt with a hurricanrana, sending Rollins into the corner. Rollins almost hits a Pedigree, but Ambrose reverses it and slingshots Rollins over the top rope. Rollins lands on the apron and hits a high knee, but Ambrose dodges another Frog Splash. The two exchange forearms before Rollins hits a superkick. The two trade blows again before Rollins hits a Buckle Bomb, but Ambrose is able to hit Dirty Deeds as he collapses. He's too late to make the pin, as Rollins gets his foot on the ropes. Rollins rolls out of the ring and Ambrose follows him. Ambrose tears apart the Spanish announce and places Rollins on it, but Rollins rolls off before Ambrose can hit an elbow drop. Rollins goes for a Pedigree on the ring apron, but Ambrosre fights out and clotheslines Rollins back in the ring. Ambrose goes to the top rope, but Rollins catches him and hits a Pedigree for a near fall. Rollins goes for another Pedigree, but Ambrose reverses it with a jackknife pin for a near fall. Ambrose goes to the top rope, but Rollins meets him up there. Ambrose shoves Rollins into the referee, Rollins goes back up, and hits a superplex. Rollins makes the cover, but both men have their shoulders down. All the authority figures get in the ring as mass confusion breaks out. Stephanie announces Rollins as the winner and gives him the belt, and since Stephanie runs RAW and Shane doesn't, it's official, I guess.
And that's about it. Overall, a pretty "meh" episode this week. There wasn't anything heinously bad, but there was anything that good either. And that finish was bit confusing.
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