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My Thoughts on RAW (7/11/16): This is Mongolian Chinchilla!

  • #1 Contendership for the Intercontinental Championship Battle Royal-We kick off the show with a #1 Contenders Battle Royal for a shot at the Intercontinental Championship. Miz interrupts Apollo Crews entrance and hypes up the match. He wishes everyone good luck because he's going to beat whoever wins anyway. Also, Darren Young is back. It didn't even get a mention. I guess Bob Backlund couldn't make him great again. At least Backlund is actually at ringside Aiden English is the first one eliminated  by Goldust, followed by Konnor and Curtis Axel. Baron Corbin goes on a tear, eliminating R-Truth and Viktor. The Usos tease eliminating eachother, but they were just joking around because it's not like they're fighting for a title shot, right? Stupid idiots...They then eliminate D-Von Dudley before the commercial break. We come back, with Simon Gotch & Jey Uso getting eliminated during the commercial break. Goldust & Bo Dallas both get eliminated soon after. JBL goes in full racist mode and says Apollo Crews is Titus O'Neil. Jimmy Uso & Jack Swagger both get eliminated, leaving only six people left; Darren Young, Alberto Del Rio, Dolph Ziggler, Baron Corbin, Bubba Ray Dudley, and Apollo Crews. Dudley is eliminated by Young, who eats a Deep Six from Corbin right after. Ziggler moves way too fast on a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and ends up making it a gutbuster. Del Rio ends up going through the second rope, but climbs back in immediately instead of hiding at ringside. He is soon eliminated by Crews.  Ziggler & Corbin fight, ending with Corbin pulling Ziggler over the top and to the floor, staying on the apron, leaving only three left. Crews tries to blindside Corbin and eliminate him, but can't do it. Corbin lifts Crews over the top rope, but Crews turns it into an arm drag, eliminating them both and giving Darren Young the win. Pretty unique finish, but it doesn't make it look like Darren Young really earned it, since he won because the other two people eliminated each other. Regardless, the crowd liked it, and a big "Darren Young" chant broke out afterwards. 
  • Backstage, Shane & Stephanie talk about Vince coming back tonight. They bicker until Seth Rollins interrupts them. He says he has "exclusive footage" that he wants to show on RAW tonight. Shane proposes he does it on the Ambrose Asylum, but Rollins proposes they do it on his own show; The Rollins Report.
  • Backstage, Zack Ryder confronts Rusev. He challenges him for the United States Championship, and then Sheamus attacks him from behind. He says he already has a match tonight against him next.
  • Sheamus vs Zack Ryder-Zack Ryder's new entrance theme is a thousand times better than his old one. Ryder starts with a double leg takedown and a Mick Foley clothesline sending them both to the outside. Ryder gets tossed back in the ring, hits a dropkick through the ropes and a dropkick off the apron. Ryder beats down Sheamus for the majority of the match until Sheamus yanks him off the top rope. Sheamus Brouge Kicks Ryder for the win. So much for Ryder's push. Rusev comes out and he and Ryder fight until Rusev hits a belly-to-belly suplex. Rusev locks in the Accolade and says he accepts Ryder's challenge. Judging by how quick Ryder got beat tonight, let me just congratulate Rusev on retaining the United States Championship whenever he faces Ryder.
  • Breezango vs The Lucha Dragons-This match is happening do to Sin Cara smacking Tyler Breeze's drink into his face, getting his Mongolian chinchilla vest wet. Fandango and Sin Cara start off with Fandango hitting a wheelbarrow arm drag. The two go back and forth until Breeze tags in. Breeze dodges a charging Sin Cara and hits an enziguri followed by a big boot by Fandando. Breezango beats down Sin Cara until Sin Cara reverses an Irish whip and hits a springboard hurricanrana. Kalisto gets the hot tag, but slips on the second rope. He then runs wild on Breezango. He goes for the Salida del Sol, but Breeze pushes out. After Sin Cara takes out Fandango, Kalisto goes after Breeze in the corner, but jumps on the second rope after he dodges. Breeze hits the Supermodel Kick and schoolboys Kalisto for the win. Good match, lots of fast paced action. Fandango in particular looked really good.
  • It's time for the Rollins Report. Rollins says his got a big scoop for the crowd. He throws shade at Jon Stewart. That's harsh dude, he help you beat John Cena. Rollins says he has an unseen sit-down interview with Roman Reigns. I guess Seth had this taped before hand. What if Stephanie & Shane were like "Nope!", what was he going to do with this tape that he couldn't air. Rollins airs the obviously faked interview using clips from other interviews, and puts "Roman Reigns: Recently Suspended" as Reigns' nameplate. Rollins says Reigns should be taken out of the Battleground Triple Threat, and outcomes Dean Ambrose. Ambrose says he's glad Rollins decided to have fun for once, and Rollins says Ambrose's title reign is a joke. Rollins says Ambrose can't beat him one-on-one for the championship, just like how everyone else couldn't. Rollins says this is about proving who the best member of the Shield is, and Ambrose says he's the backbone of professional wrestling because he never left it, and anyone who wants the championship from him is going to have to pry it from his dead hands. Ambrose says he'll give him a one-on-one title match anytime he wants, and Rollins says they're doing it next week. Great segment, incredible promo by Ambrose.
  • Kevin Owens is supposed to face Cesaro, but Sami Zayn is on commentary and he refuses to go out there. Stephanie comes over and makes a few referees come out and make him go backstage, but Zayn says he has authorization from Shane to do commentary for this match. Despite his protests, Zayn starts to leave. Owens comes out and the two brawl for a bit before being seperated by referees.
  • Backstage, Renee Young interviews Vince McMahon, who has just arrived. He says he's here to announce the Commissioner of Smackdown, and he's doing it later tonight.
  • Kevin Owens vs Cesaro-The match kicks off with a gut-wrench suplex by Cesaro. The two go back and forth until Cesaro hits a very impressive hurricanrana. Owens avoids the Cesaro Swing, only to eat a cannonball of the apron to the outside. Owens superkicks Cesaro into the timekeepers area and takes control. The two go back and forth again until Cesaro suplexes Owens. Cesaro flips over the ropes onto the apron, but Owens clobbers him and sends him into the barricade before the commercial. We come back to Owens working over Cesaro, hitting a neckbreaker on his knee for a two count. Michael Cole flips out at this rather basic move. Cesaro dodges the corner cannonball and delivers a bunch of uppercuts for a two count. Owens gives Cesaro a poke in the eye, but Cesaro jumps over the Pop Up Powerbomb attempt and hits a springboard uppercut. Cesaro puts on JBL's hat and hits the big uppercut on the outside. He then hits a diving crossbody for a two count. Owens counters the Cesaro Swing again, but Cesaro counters a tornado DDT, puts Owens on the top rope, and drop kicks him. Owens drops down and hits a fireman's carry neckbreaker for the win. Good match, like always from these two. After the match, Zayn attacks Owens, causing him to retreat into the ring and take a Cesaro Swing. 
  • Backstage, Renee Young interviews The Club. Styles says Enzo & Cass made a mistake thinking Cena cares about anyone but himself, and that he's not even at RAW tonight. The Club makes an Allen Iverson "Practice" joke, and then say that after RAW, they're going to get on a plane, fly to L.A., crash the ESPYs (that Cena is hosting) and BEAT UP JOHN CENA!
  • Heath Slater vs Titus O'Neil-Titus tosses Slater around the ring for the majority of the match until Slater takes Titus down. Slater puts the boots to Titus and hits a DDT for a two count. Titus throws Slater across the ring a couple more times, hits a few shoulder tackles, a few backbreakers, a corner splash, and the Clash of the Titus for the win.
  • Backstage, Renee Young interviews Sasha Banks. Sasha says Dana Brooke made a mistake challenging her to a match.
  • It's time for the New Day vs The Wyatt Family in the FINAL DELE-wait, sorry wrong company. I mean...yeah pretty much that. The Wyatt's try to kill the New Day with a car, and the insanity starts. The groups fight with weapons and stuff. Wyatt almost kills Woods with a pick axe and knocks him out. The fighting continues and this is kind of sh*t. It's like the Final Deletion was 100% serious...and lame. Suddenly, the New Day are surrounded by people in Wyatt masks with lanterns...and that's it. Well...that was fairly sh*t. Seriously, that sucked. It was an overly serious Final Deletion, that's it.
  • The Club vs Enzo Amore & Big Cass-Pre-match, Styles tells Enzo & Cass that John Cena doesn't care about them and to walk away, but they stay and fight. The match starts during commercial break, and we come back to Anderson & Enzo trading wristlocks. Enzo almost gets two roll up wins, and the Club takes over. Anderson & Gallows work over Enzo. The Club continues to beat down Enzo for the majority of the match. Enzo eventually gets free and makes the tag to Cass. Cass runs wild, hitting the Empire Elbow, a fallaway slam, and a big boot on Anderson. Enzo & Cass hit the Rocket Launcher, but Styles interferes and causes a DQ. This leaves it 3-on-1 with Enzo alone with the Club, but Cena runs down to make the save. Funny how the only time Cena saves his friends from a beat down is when someone says he never does it. I bet his Survivor Series 2014 teammates feel ripped off.
  • Dana Brooke vs Sasha Banks-Poor Dana, she doesn't even get to come out to her own entrance theme anymore, she comes out to Charlotte's. It bums me out more because Dana Brooke's entrance theme is straight fire. The two go back and forth until Dana kicks Sasha off the apron before the commercial break. We come back with Dana working over Sasha. Dana dominates for the majority of the match until Sasha hits a diving crossbody for a two count. Dana blocks the Bank Statement and goes for the Samoan Driver, but Sasha reverses it and locks in the Bank Statement for the win. Pretty boring match, in all honesty. After the match, Charlotte says Sasha still doesn't deserve a title match, and challenges her to beat Dana again on SmackDown. The same person Sasha just beat right in front of her. Stupid idiot...
  • Outcomes The McMahons. Vince says Shane & Stephanie have been doing a good job running RAW, but he's disappointed in the lack of in fighting rather than constant bickering. He says he wants competition, and that the two have to convince him why either one of them should run SmackDown. Stephanie says Shane is a manipulator and maniacal, and that people only cheer him because he kisses the crowd's asses. Shane gets a cheap pop, and says that he represents change. Vince says he doesn't care what the fans think (shocker...) and Vince decides that the new commissioner of SmackDown is...Shane. No surprise return. It's just Shane. Vince stops Shane's celebration to tell him he will no longer run RAW anymore, leaving Stephanie as the RAW Commissioner. Vince interrupts her celebration to tell them he wants them to compete against each other, and that both of them will have to name a general manager for their shows. Stephanie says she's going to bury Shane and SmackDown, and make him wish he was never born. Shane says Stephanie is scared of Shane, and he & SmackDown are going to beat her & RAW. This was all so lame. Stephanie also trips coming down the stairs, so expect that to be edited out of the YouTube clip.
And that's about it. Overall, a pretty boring show. Not much to talk about, and found myself getting distracted by other things easily.
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