My Thoughts on SmackDown (8/9/16): That's Politics, Baby!

• Before the show, Randy Orton says he's going to beat Lesnar at SummerSlam. Incomes Alberto Del Rio, who says Orton must be joking. Orton replies by saying he'll show him what he's going to do to Lesnar tonight in their match. Del Rio leaves after threatening to break Orton's arm.
• We kick off the show with the Wyatt Family. Wyatt says he did not lose to Dolph Ziggler last week because Ziggler was desperate and cheated by ramming Wyatt's head into an exposed turnbuckle. Wyatt says he is a God, and no matter what Ziggler does, he can never kill him. Outcomes Dean Ambrose, who laughs off Wyatt playing the victim card and calls him a baby. Wyatt challenges him to a fight, but Ambrose says he's smart enough not to run into a 2-on-1 fight with Rowan present. Outcomes Ziggler, who sprints into the ring to fight the Wyatt's. Right after Ambrose said it would be a stupid idea. Why should I cheer him, again? Ziggler gets the piss beat out of him, so Ambrose runs in to even the odds. Ambrose sends Rowan out of the ring, but Wyatt grabs him and sets up for Sister Abigail. Ziggler springs up and throws a superkick, but Wyatt pulls Ambrose up into the kick. God, that was nice. It wasn't like a babyface miscommunication, it was simply Wyatt being smart enough to pull Ambrose into the kick instead of just taking it or fleeing. Rowan gets back in the ring and eats a superkick, which is followed by Ziggler stumbling into a Sister Abigal by Wyatt.
• Backstage, Ziggler & Ambrose argue about Ziggler accidentally super-kicking Ambrose. The argument is broken up by Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon, who tell them to save it for SummerSlam and that they are teaming together against Wyatt & Rowan.
• American Alpha vs Mikey O'Shea & Mike Vega-The Ascension, the Vaudevillians, the Hype Bros come out to watch and stand at ringside. American Alpha quickly beats up the Mikes and hit Grand Amplitude on Vega for the win. Afterwards, all the teams get in the ring, ending with American Alpha standing tall.
• On the interview set, it's the Miz & Maryse being interview by Renee Young. Renee asks to take a look at Apollo Crews, but Miz would rather take a look at Maryse. They play the video hyping up Crews, and when we come back, Miz & Maryse are hilariously lying cover girl style on the interview desk. They are fantastic. Maryse says Crews won't beat Miz, and she & Miz kiss.
• Becky Lynch vs Eva Marie-Eva is the best now. I can't ignore it anymore, she's great. I don't care if she's awful in the ring, she has the character down-pact at this point. She even makes Greg Hamilton take off her entrance jacket for her. This time, however, her top's straps break. SmackDown has official beaten RAW this week. She gets a towel to cover her boobs and runs to the back. Becky then gives out about Eva dodging their match for the second week in a row, and challenges anyone to come out and fight her. Outcomes the birthday girl Alexa Bliss, who says she's SmackDown's hottest star and is ready to beat SmackDown's first female draft pick.
• Becky Lynch vs Alexa Bliss-We come back from the commercial with the match already in progress, with Bliss standing on Becky and stomping her head into the ground. Bliss continues to work Becky until Becky fights out and runs wild, hitting the Bex-Ploder suplex. Suddenly, Eva's music hits, the arena goes red, and the voice over says Eva is ready to compete. This distraction allows Bliss to hit an STO and Twisted Bliss, a rounding moonsault, for the win. Post-match, Eva says she feels bad for Becky, and she's sad she couldn't compete tonight. Also, Bliss continuously makes the referee raise her hand in victory because she is gold.
• Randy Orton vs Alberto Del Rio-The two go back and forth for a long time before Orton takes control. Del Rio escapes the ten punches in the corner, only to get a clothesline right after. Del Rio gets a bit of offense in, Orton counters a diving nothing and hits the strangest move not performed by Byron Saxton. Del Rio is on the apron and Orton yanks him back onto the top rope. Del Rio teeters on the rope before falling forward and landing on the outside. It looked so weird. We go to commercial and come back to Orton stomping away at Del Rio. JBL correctly calls it a Garvin Stomp. I was shocked, not that they referenced Ronnie Garvin, but that JBL said something of value on commentary. Del Rio takes control by tossing Orton shoulder first into the ring post. Del Rio hits a top rope punch (it was as lame as it sounds) and goes back to working on Orton's shoulder. Orton escapes with a thumb to the eye and a great dropkick. Orton sets up Del Rio on the top rope, but Del Rio counters and locks in the Cross Armbreaker over the rope. After breaking the hold, he goes back to the top rope, but Orton catches him up there and hits a superplex. Orton runs wild, hitting the power slam but getting his rope-hung DDT reversed with a back body drop over the ropes. After a series of reversals, Orton is able to hit the rope-hung DDT and calls for the RKO, but Del Rio rolls out of the ring. Orton follows him out and clotheslines Del Rio into the timekeeper's area before tearing up the announce table. He goes to get Del Rio, but Del Rio hits him with a chair in the arm, causing a DQ. Del Rio continues the attack on Orton's arm, ramming it into the ring post before grabbing the chair. He calls for the Cross Armbreaker, but Orton springs up and hits the RKO. Fine match.
• Backstage, Rhyno is warming up when Heath Slater confronts him. He asks Rhyno to "help him out" and that he can't let his kids down. Rhyno says that he can't help Slater because he has to impress people, especially after he won his primary in Michigan.
• Heath Slater vs Rhyno-Slater manages to get a lot of offense in to kick off the match, getting multiple near falls. David Otunga does a great job putting over Slater on commentary, even bringing up his history as a Gold Gloves boxer. It's the little things. Slater continues to work over Rhyno, but Rhyno fights out and hits a belly-to-belly suplex. Slater avoids a Gore and rolls up Rhyno. He gets his feet on the ropes, but the referee catches him before the three. Slater argues with the referee, which allows Rhyno to hit the Gore for the win. Damn, Slater got screwed over by politics. Now he knows how Vader feels.
• Backstage, Daniel Bryan & Shane McMahon are talking about signing Slater when Slater barges in angry, saying SmackDown doesn't deserve and leaves.
• Carmella vs Natalya-Natalya tries to attack Carmella like last week, but Carmella telegraphs it and gets Natalya in the ring. Natalya works over Carmella to start, cutting off any attempts at a comeback by Carmella. This happens for a long time, including a great moment where Natalya just sitting on Carmella for a pin attempt. Natalya goes for the Sharpshooter, only for Carmella to reverse it and lock in the Code of Silence, a modified figure four headscissors for the win. God, really lame match. Natalya dominated for 99% of it, only for Carmella to get one move in and win.
• Backstage, Baron Corbin beats up Kalisto for costing him the #1 Contender's match last week.
• Dolph Ziggler & Dean Ambrose vs The Wyatt Family-Wyatt & Rowan blindside Ambrose & Ziggler to start, but Ambrose is able to take control. The babyfaces bicker after Ziggler tags himself in, but they keep control until Rowan clothesline Ziggler from the apron before the commercial break. We come back to Wyatt working over Ziggler, but Ziggler is able to make the tag to Ambrose. Ambrose runs wild, clothesline Wyatt and hits a running bulldog before taking out Rowan with a plancha to the outside. Wyatt is able to take out Ambrose with a clothesline and Rowan tags before hitting a splash for a near fall. Ambrose gets thrown to the outside before taking an Uranage on the apron. After a series of reversals, Ambrose hits a swinging neck breaker and tags in Ziggler. Ziggler runs wild, hits the Stinger Splash and the neck breaker on Rowan before hitting the elbow drop for a near fall. Ziggler hits the jumping DDT for another near fall but gets his superkick blocked and eats a spinning heel kick. At this point, my cable went out and when it came back on, Ambrose was walking away from the ring with Ziggler lying in the ring. I'm assuming Ziggler & Ambrose won and Ambrose hit Dirty Deeds on Ziggler.

And that's about it. Overall, a pretty good episode of SmackDown. Nothing extraordinary, but nothing was exceptionally bad either. And after how bad RAW was last week, it would have been near impossible for SmackDown to be worse.

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