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Worst in the World: Triple H vs Scott Steiner-Royal Rumble 2003

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I don't think you understand how bad I've wanted this match to come up. Seriously, for every match I've dreaded having to see, this is the one I was actually looking forward too. It literally combines one of my favorite eras in wrestling to rag on with one of the craziest wrestlers of all time. Are you ready for this? Because this intro's gonna be like three paragraphs long.
The Reign of Terror! The two and a half year period where Triple H went into full Hulk Hogan mode. After being awarded the World Heavyweight Championship by Eric Bischoff in September 2002, Trips proceeded to DESTROY the RAW roster with ease, beating the likes of Rob Van Dam, Chris Jericho, Kane, and Booker T. Even his boy Shawn Michaels couldn't avoid his wrath, doing the job in a Three Stages of Hell match after beating Trips the month prior. Come Royal Rumble 2003, they needed a new challenger. And it couldn't just be anyone, they needed...a genetic freak.
Enter Scott Steiner. After missing the entire Invasion angle he returned to WWE two months prior at Survivor Series 2002, making his big return after about 8 years. During that time he had become known as one of the most bat sh*t crazy wrestlers to ever step in a ring, cutting some of the most ridiculous promos in history. But upon his arrival in WWE, he was almost instantly put into a feud with the World Heavyweight Champion Triple H. How does it go? Well, let's just get into this.
First off, big pet peeve of mine, the champion Triple H comes out first. Boo. After referee Earl Hebner warns both men that he won't take any crap from either one of them, the two men go back and forth with punches and chops before Steiner takes Triple H down with a back elbow. Steiner follows that up with a gorilla press and Triple H rolls out of the ring. Steiner follows him out and punches him around ringside before smartly breaking the count by rolling in the ring and rolling right back out. Not enough people do that nowadays.
After suplexing Triple H back in the ring, Steiner continues to batter Triple H in the rings with chops and clubbing blows to the back. That's all Steiner's really been doing for the first three minutes. It's not very exciting. Steiner actually locks in a Boston crab before Triple H hits a facebreaker knee smash, which Steiner COMPLETELY NO SELLS! Steiner locks in a bear hug and then...the suplexes. Now, this match has become infamous for the number of suplexes Steiner hits in this match. Steiner hits so many that they start to lose all meaning whatsoever and become incredibly tedious. So let's keep track of how many suplexes Scott Steiner hits in this match of any kind. So there was one before and now the belly-to-belly, so that's 2.
Steiner tries for the Steiner Recliner, but Ric Flair pulls Triple H to the ropes. Triple H gets a boot up at a charging Steiner and starts stomping away on Steiner before taking him to the outside and throwing him into the ring steps. Back in the ring, Triple H hits a neckbreaker and goes back to stomping away on Steiner before distracting the referee and allowing Flair to choke Steiner with his jacket. Triple H & Flair continue to sneakily double team Steiner before Triple H goes for the Pedigree. Steiner fights out of it and slingshots Triple H into the corner before hitting an overhead belly-to-belly suplex (3). After both men reverse powerslam attempts, Triple H hits a neckbreaker, which Steiner sells awkwardly.
Steiner catches Triple H off a flying nothing and hits an overhead belly-to-belly suplex (4) and runs wild, hitting a few clotheslines and a back body drop before going back to the overhead belly-to-belly suplex (5). Another overhead belly-to-belly suplex (6). Another overhead belly-to-belly suplex (7). A spinning belly-to-belly suplex (8). And finally, a double underhook suplex (9), which Steiner falls on his ass for as the crowd boos. Suplex City, bitch!
Triple H goes to the top rope, only for Steiner to catch him and hit a superplex (10, but to be fair, there's not much else you can do up there). Trips rolls out of the ring and he & Flair try to leave. Steiner goes out of the ring, as does Earl Hebner for some reason. Flair & Hebner argue as Trips tries to hit Steiner with the belt. Steiner blocks it and hits Trips with the belt, which makes Triple H bleed. Back in the ring, Steiner hits a Canadian Destroyer followed up by an incredible Jack Evans-style 630-who am I trying to kid, he hits another overhead belly-to-belly suplex (11).
Triple H rolls out again and tries to leave through the crowd, but Steiner follows him out and brings him back in the ring. Steiner picks up a chair...only to put it right back down and throws Triple H back in the ring. Steiner mocks Triple H with push ups before beating him down in the corner. Flair distracts Steiner while Triple H throws Hebner out of the ring. Hebner goes to disqualify Triple H, but decides against it and decides to let the match keep going. Triple H argues with him, which allows Steiner to hit (surprise, surprise) a twisting belly-to-belly suplex (12). 
Flair distracts the referee again, which allows Triple H to kick Steiner in the balls and almost get the roll up win. Triple H rolls out of the ring and gets a sledgehammer. He pushes Hebner aside and hits Steiner in the guts, which prompts Hebner to finally DQ Triple H, which receives deafening boos. Triple H tries to hit Steiner again, but Hebner stops Triple H. Triple H pushes him aside again, but it's enough time for Steiner to recover, take the sledgehammer and beat down Triple H and Flair before locking Triple H in the Steiner Recliner to an indifferent crowd. The referees and Eric Bischoff have to pull Steiner off of Triple H before Steiner poses over Triple H. JR ponders if there will ever be a rematch. Unfortunately, yes.

The Verdict

It's...so god damn boring. It's just suplex after suplex after suplex after suplex after suplex. That's all Steiner did the entire match outside of punches, clubs, and chops. Triple H wasn't any better, just doing basic moves the entire match, The most complex move in the entire match was a neckbreaker. And to top it off, there was so much nonsensical bullsh*t the entire match. So much interference from Flair and the DQ finish just made this even worse. Not to mention it went 18 minutes just for nothing. It's definitely at the bottom.

Rankings (Best to Worst)

  1. Too Much vs Al Snow & Head-King of the Ring 1998
  2. Vampiro vs Sting-Great American Bash 2000
  3. T&A vs Head Cheese-WrestleMania 2000
  4. Triple H vs Sgt. Slaughter-D-Generation X: In Your House
  5. Konnan vs One Man Gang-SuperBrawl VI
  6. Ultimate Warrior vs Hercules-WrestleMania IV
  7. Rick Rude vs Hawk-Clash of the Champions XXV
  8. Shelton Benjamin vs Viscera-New Year's Revolution 2006
  9. Steve McMichael vs Reggie White-Slamboree 1997
  10. The Chamber of Horrors-Halloween Havoc 1991
  11. The Natural Disasters vs Money Inc.-WrestleMania VIII
  12. Ivan Koloff vs Paul Jones-Clash of the Champions IV
  13. ODB, Taylor Wilde, and Roxxi vs The Kongtourage-Genesis 2009
  14. Ivory vs Tori-SummerSlam 1999
  15. Nikita Koloff vs Bobby Eaton-Bunkhouse Stampede
  16. Alex Wright vs Steve McMichael-Halloween Havoc 1997
  17. Total Divas vs Other Divas-Survivor Series 2013
  18. The Oddities vs Kaientai-SummerSlam 1998
  19. Hulk Hogan vs Sid Justice-WrestleMania VIII
  20. Paul Ellering vs Teddy Long-Capital Combat
  21. Dusty Rhodes vs Big Boss Man-Saturday Night's Main Event (10/31/1989)
  22. Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Hog Wild
  23. Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Souled Out 1997
  24. Dustin Rhodes & King Kong vs Awesome Kong & The Equalizer-Battlebowl
  25. Finlay & Little Bastard vs The Boogeyman & Little Boogeyman-No Way Out 2007
  26. Jake Roberts vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania V
  27. Yokozuna vs King Mabel-In Your House 4
  28. Sting & Hawk vs Meng & Kurasawa-Clash of the Champions XXXI
  29. Hulk Hogan vs Randy Savage-Uncensored 1998
  30. Al Snow vs Big Boss Man-Unforgiven 1999
  31. Mickie James vs Ashley-Royal Rumble 2006
  32. Christy Hemme vs Big Fat Oily Guy-Against All Odds 2007
  33. Team WCW vs nWo Wolfpac vs nWo Hollywood-Fall Brawl 1998
  34. Vampiro vs Oklahoma-Starrcade 1999
  35. Hulk Hogan vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania III
  36. Van Hammer vs Terrance Taylor-Clash of the Champions XVI
  37. Junkyard Dog vs Moondog Spot-Wrestling Classic
  38. Hiroshi Wajima vs Tom Magee-All Japan Pro Wrestling 1988
  39. Jim Steele vs The Equalizer-SuperBrawl IV
  40. Edge vs Triple H vs Vladimir Kozlov-Survivor Series 2008
  41. Kevin Sullivan vs Dave Sullivan-SuperBrawl V
  42. Steve McMichael vs Brian Adams-Road Wild 1998
  43. Scott Hall vs Roddy Piper-SuperBrawl IX
  44. PN News & Bobby Eaton vs Steve Austin & Terrance Taylor-Great American Bash 1991
  45. Scott Steiner vs Sid Vicious vs Jeff Jarrett vs Road Warrior Animal-Sin
  46. Hollywood Hogan vs Roddy Piper-SuperBrawl 1997
  47. Batista vs The Great Khali-SummerSlam 2007
  48.  Sable vs Tori-WrestleMania XV
  49. Super Invader vs Todd Champion-WrestleWar 1992
  50. Sid Vicious vs The Nightstalker-Clash of the Champions XIII
  51. The 8-Divas Tag Match-Survivor Series 1999
  52. The Fabulous Freebirds vs The Renegade Warriors-Halloween Havoc 1990
  53. Rick Rude vs Masahiro Chono-Halloween Havoc 1992
  54. Mike Awesome vs Vampiro-Halloween Havoc 2000
  55. Bray Wyatt vs John Cena-Extreme Rules 2014
  56. Mabel vs The Undertaker-King of the Ring 1995
  57. Wendi Richter vs The Fabulous Moolah-The Brawl to End it All
  58. David Flair vs Kimberly Page-Mayhem 1999
  59. The Truth Commission vs The Disciples of Apocolypse-Survivor Series 1997
  60. The Bushwhacker vs The Fabulous Rougeaus-WrestleMania V
  61. The Beverly Brothers vs The Bushwhackers-Royal Rumble 1992
  62. Teddy Long vs Eric Bischoff-Survivor Series 2005
  63. Greg Valentine vs George Steele-Heroes of Wrestling
  64. Abdullah the Butcher vs One Man Gang-Heroes of Wrestling
  65. Triple H vs Scott Steiner-Royal Rumble 2003
  66. Hollywood Hogan vs The Warrior-Halloween Havoc 1998
  67. Mr. T vs Roddy Piper-WrestleMania 2
  68. The Royal Family vs Clowns R' Us-Survivor Series 1994
  69. The Blacktop Bully vs Dustin Rhodes-Uncensored 1995
  70. Sting vs Jeff Hardy-Victory Road 2011
  71. Oz vs Tim Parker-SuperBrawl
  72. Ultimate Warrior vs Andre the Giant-Saturday Night's Main Event (11/25/1989)
  73. The Doomsday Cage Match-Uncensored 1996
  74. Kane vs The Undertaker-Judgement Day 1998
  75. Kaitlyn vs Maxine-NXT (10/19/10)
  76. Sabu vs The Sandman-November to Remember 1997
  77. James Storm vs Chris Harris-Lockdown 2007
  78. John Laurinaitis vs John Cena-Over the Limit 2012
  79. Ultimate Warrior vs Goldust-In Your House 7
  80. Los Villanos vs Los Psycho Circus-Triplemania XXIII
  81. Jenna Morasca vs Sharmell-Victory Road 2009
And up next is...
Oh great, it's back to Heroes of Wrestling I go.
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