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Worst in the World: The Bushwhackers vs The Fabulous Rougeaus-WrestleMania V

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AW F*CK, IT'S THE BUSHWHACKERS! F*CK! Yeah, I don't like the Bushwhackers...at all. They weren't that good in the ring, they were annoying on the mic, and their comedy was decent at best and cringe-worthy at worst. You think Santino was bad? Wait till you see these guys. Anyways, where I was lucky when the 8 Hogan matches on the list came towards the beginning of the series and I got through them quickly, it's only fitting that the 4 Bushwhacker matches came towards the end of the series. With my luck, I'll get all four of them in a row. In the first of the tetralogy (that's a fancy word that I definitely didn't Google) of sh*t comes in the form of the Bushwhackers' WrestleMania V match against the Fabulous Rougeaus, a team of solid workers who got stuck with these scrubs. Let's get into this.
So to kick off the match The Bushwhackers, like the noble babyfaces they are, steal the Rougeau's manager Jimmy Hart's jacket and try to rip it in the ring for no reason other than "they're wacky foreigners!" The Rougeaus stop them before the Bushwhackers can rip the jacket, only to get Irish whipped into each other and Jimmy Hart. The actual match starts off with a back and forth between Raymond Rougeau and Luke of the Bushwhackers until Luke misses a fist drop. The Rougeaus celebrate the successful dodge, which allows the Bushwhackers to hit the Battering Ram on Raymond. Jacques Rougeau then accidentally knee drops Raymond when Luke dodges it because any mid-card heel in the 1980's had to be a bumbling idiot. Butch then proceeds to scream a lot because f*ck you, that's why.
Suddenly, the referee gives out to Jacques about his boot laces being out like they're a foreign object. OH GOD, NOT LACES! OH, THE HUMANITY! Little known fact, exposed boot laces are what actually ended both Edge and Daniel Bryan's careers. Don't look it up, just trust me on that one. This ridiculous call allows the Rougeaus to takes control, with Raymond locking in a Boston Crab (is it wrong to call it a "Quebec Crab?") while Jacques stomps away at Luke. 
The Rougeaus proceed to beat down Luke and we get, without a doubt, the strangest thing I've ever seen in a wrestling match. Simply because I have zero explanation as to why it happened? So Raymond picks up Luke for a bodyslam...and Luke just kind of...fondles him.
Yeah...that happened. To quote V1 from OSW Review "He gives him a quick rub, followed by a squeezy squeezy." Like...why? That's all I can really say...why?
So after...that! The Rougeaus continue to beat down Luke, who takes a bunch of super safe bumps, The Rougeaus celebrate despite not having won yet, and that allows the Bushwhackers to hit the Battering Ram and a double gutbuster for the win. Boo.

The Verdict

Enough said. Actually, the match was bad. It was horribly one-sided expect for the finish, where the guys who got beat down the entire match get the win anyways, and Luke's selling was pretty bad. Not as bad as I expected, but still pretty bad.

Rankings (Best to Worst)

  1. Too Much vs Al Snow & Head-King of the Ring 1998
  2. Vampiro vs Sting-Great American Bash 2000
  3. T&A vs Head Cheese-WrestleMania 2000
  4. Triple H vs Sgt. Slaughter-D-Generation X: In Your House
  5. Konnan vs One Man Gang-SuperBrawl VI
  6. Ultimate Warrior vs Hercules-WrestleMania IV
  7. Rick Rude vs Hawk-Clash of the Champions XXV
  8. Shelton Benjamin vs Viscera-New Year's Revolution 2006
  9. The Chamber of Horrors-Halloween Havoc 1991
  10. The Natural Disasters vs Money Inc.-WrestleMania VIII
  11. ODB, Taylor Wilde, and Roxxi vs The Kongtourage-Genesis 2009
  12. Ivory vs Tori-SummerSlam 1999
  13. Nikita Koloff vs Bobby Eaton-Bunkhouse Stampede
  14. Total Divas vs Other Divas-Survivor Series 2013
  15. The Oddities vs Kaientai-SummerSlam 1998
  16. Hulk Hogan vs Sid Justice-WrestleMania VIII
  17. Paul Ellering vs Teddy Long-Capital Combat
  18. Dusty Rhodes vs Big Boss Man-Saturday Night's Main Event (10/31/1989)
  19. Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Hog Wild
  20. Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Souled Out 1997
  21. Dustin Rhodes & King Kong vs Awesome Kong & The Equalizer-Battlebowl
  22. Finlay & Little Bastard vs The Boogeyman & Little Boogeyman-No Way Out 2007
  23. Jake Roberts vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania V
  24. Yokozuna vs King Mabel-In Your House 4
  25. Sting & Hawk vs Meng & Kurasawa-Clash of the Champions XXXI
  26. Hulk Hogan vs Randy Savage-Uncensored 1998
  27. Al Snow vs Big Boss Man-Unforgiven 1999
  28. Mickie James vs Ashley-Royal Rumble 2006
  29. Christy Hemme vs Big Fat Oily Guy-Against All Odds 2007
  30. Team WCW vs nWo Wolfpac vs nWo Hollywood-Fall Brawl 1998
  31. Vampiro vs Oklahoma-Starrcade 1999
  32. Hulk Hogan vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania III
  33. Junkyard Dog vs Moondog Spot-Wrestling Classic
  34. Hiroshi Wajima vs Tom Magee-All Japan Pro Wrestling 1988
  35. Jim Steele vs The Equalizer-SuperBrawl IV
  36. Edge vs Triple H vs Vladimir Kozlov-Survivor Series 2008
  37. Kevin Sullivan vs Dave Sullivan-SuperBrawl V
  38. Steve McMichael vs Brian Adams-Road Wild 1998
  39. Scott Hall vs Roddy Piper-SuperBrawl IX
  40. PN News & Bobby Eaton vs Steve Austin & Terrance Taylor-Great American Bash 1991
  41. Scott Steiner vs Sid Vicious vs Jeff Jarrett vs Road Warrior Animal-Sin
  42. Hollywood Hogan vs Roddy Piper-SuperBrawl 1997
  43. Batista vs The Great Khali-SummerSlam 2007
  44.  Sable vs Tori-WrestleMania XV
  45. Sid Vicious vs The Nightstalker-Clash of the Champions XIII
  46. The 8-Divas Tag Match-Survivor Series 1999
  47. The Fabulous Freebirds vs The Renegade Warriors-Halloween Havoc 1990
  48. Rick Rude vs Masahiro Chono-Halloween Havoc 1992
  49. Mike Awesome vs Vampiro-Halloween Havoc 2000
  50. Bray Wyatt vs John Cena-Extreme Rules 2014
  51. Mabel vs The Undertaker-King of the Ring 1995
  52. Wendi Richter vs The Fabulous Moolah-The Brawl to End it All
  53. David Flair vs Kimberly Page-Mayhem 1999
  54. The Truth Commission vs The Disciples of Apocolypse-Survivor Series 1997
  55. The Bushwhacker vs The Fabulous Rougeaus-WrestleMania V
  56. Teddy Long vs Eric Bischoff-Survivor Series 2005
  57. Greg Valentine vs George Steele-Heroes of Wrestling
  58. Abdullah the Butcher vs One Man Gang-Heroes of Wrestling
  59. Hollywood Hogan vs The Warrior-Halloween Havoc 1998
  60. Mr. T vs Roddy Piper-WrestleMania 2
  61. The Royal Family vs Clowns R' Us-Survivor Series 1994
  62. The Blacktop Bully vs Dustin Rhodes-Uncensored 1995
  63. Sting vs Jeff Hardy-Victory Road 2011
  64. Oz vs Tim Parker-SuperBrawl
  65. Ultimate Warrior vs Andre the Giant-Saturday Night's Main Event (11/25/1989)
  66. The Doomsday Cage Match-Uncensored 1996
  67. Kane vs The Undertaker-Judgement Day 1998
  68. Kaitlyn vs Maxine-NXT (10/19/10)
  69. Sabu vs The Sandman-November to Remember 1997
  70. James Storm vs Chris Harris-Lockdown 2007
  71. John Laurinaitis vs John Cena-Over the Limit 2012
  72. Ultimate Warrior vs Goldust-In Your House 7
  73. Los Villanos vs Los Psycho Circus-Triplemania XXIII
  74. Jenna Morasca vs Sharmell-Victory Road 2009
And up next is...
Huh...whatever.
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