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My Thoughts on RAW (2/1/16)

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WWE.com
 Another RAW is in the books. This weeks episode was pretty good, with some great wrestling and segments. It was by far one of the better RAWs in a while. Here are some of my other thoughts.
  • Brock Lesnar having a specific the city's name on his Suplex City t-shirt is an excellent touch
  • Why are the Authority giving Reigns and Ambrose chances to go to WrestleMania? If they don't want them to be champion, why keep giving them opportunities? It's not like they earned it, they literally just said "hey, you guys who have been giving us sh*t for like, two years, want a title shot". Makes no sense
  • Heyman calls Lesnar "the 9th mayor of Suplex City" Who's are the other 8 mayors of Suplex City? Angle? Benoit? Steiner?
  • If that's the case, Gable and Jordan are the co-10th mayors of Suplex City
  • I SAW AN OSW REVIEW SHIRT!
  • Paul Heyman is by far the best promo in WWE today. Everything he says is like magic coming out of his mouth
  • Fearless Dean Ambrose is a thousand times better than Wacky Dean Ambrose
  • I don't think Brock Lesnar has any eyebrows
  • Kevin Owens hasn't even been on the main roster for a year yet and it already feels like I've seen him fight Dolph Ziggler a thousand times
  • Kalisto looks like a kid who got a replica title
  •  "We need a entrance video for Kalisto" "Just slap some big bold letters on the Lucha Dragon's one"
  • Kalisto is basically the new Rey Mysterio, so it's only fitting he fights Del Rio twenty times a year.
  • Del Rio is atrocious on commentary. He's tripping over his words every few seconds
  •  Rusev sells like a boss. Take notes, Kane
  • "Hmm, the other time I tried a crossbody he caught me...this time it will definitely work"
  • Count out wins don't make people look strong. Just saying
  • AJ Styles being on Miz TV might be the first actual "must see" moment in the history of Miz TV
  • Triple H just leaves his title in a case instead of...you know...carrying it.
  • "It took what, 29 guys to beat me"-Roman Reigns, a guy who spent half the Royal Rumble in the back taking a nap.
  • Stephanie name drops Randy Orton in a conversation about people being betrayed, which also included Marty Janetty. Yeah Stephanie, that loser Randy Orton got betrayed by Evolution and faded away into obscurity. He never won anything.
  • Why is Brie Bella on TV?
  • Charlotte, the same woman who got pissed at Paige for making fun of her dead brother, made fun of Nikki's career threatening injury. Continuity? What's that!
  • Also, Charlotte and Brie combined have half the acting skills of Tommy Wiseau.
  •  The Usos and Blake & Murphy should form a stable called "Vanilla Ice Cream"...
  • ...Unless The Mighty Don't Kneel actually sign with WWE, then I want an Australian stable with Murphy, Emma, Peyton Royce, Billie Kay, and TMDK. Yeah...Aussie Invasion. 
  • Get GiGi from Tough Enough too. Or just sign her for any reason. Come on WWE, she's way better than Amanda
  • "Grammy Award winners for Tag Team of the Year" How do you mess up that bad Lillian Garcia?
  • If anyone deserves a Grammy, it's Bo Rida
  • I've already pre-ordered Bo Rida's new album
  • Also, Lillian messed up who was wrestling for the Social Outcasts. That's two botches in one segment. Just get JoJo out here.
  • I just noticed the Usos are color coordinated now. I still can't tell them apart, though
  • Mark Henry looks so out of place on the American Way cover with Cena and the Bellas
  • I've heard AJ Styles' entrance theme an inappropriate amount of times
  • Miz not letting AJ talk at all is a perfect heel move. Miz is such a great heel.
  • "I made Daniel Bryan a star" is by far the biggest heel thing The Miz has ever said. I don't want him to ever stop doing it.
  • "F**K NEVILLE, AJ Styles is way cooler"-The Miz, basically.
  • The Miz says the "E" in WWE is just as important as wrestling. The Miz is spitting some truth. The hard truth, but the truth.
  • It is still just absolutley insane seeing AJ Styles in WWE
  • That was by far the best Miz TV segment ever.
  • Those New Day pictures are about five months old
  • "Welcome aboard, make sure you know how to wrestle"-Paige in the Total Divas commercial to Amanda...while Eva Marie is also in the room.
  • Brie Bella's entrance theme is going to give me an aneurysm.
  • Have you ever noticed that Charlotte's entrance video doesn't have any footage of her wrestling? It's just  her dancing around backstage.
  • Charlotte thrusts into Brie's kicks so comically it hurts
  • Is Brie Bella a face now? She's like the female Big Show.
  • Charlotte can't sell to save her life
  • Charlotte is the only person to realize that all you have to do to escape a sleeper is to sit down really quick.
  • Alica just yelling "GET DOWN" at Ric Flair was surprisingly ineffective.
  • I guess we have to wait until WrestleMania for Sasha to get her Divas title match.
  • Showing me clips from SmackDown just reminds me that Mauro Rannallo is thousand times better than all the commentators on RAW
  • Big Show face turn #705
  • I was there at TLC when they did Big Show vs Erick Rowan in a Stairs match. Please stop reminding me of it WWE
  • Adding a spotlight completely removes the chilling part of the Wyatt Family's entrance
  • Big Show grabbed the stairs. STOP REMINDING ME OF THE STAIRS MATCH!
  • LOL Erick Rowan
  • This is like one of those long NWO beatdowns from Nitro. I'm just waiting for Buff Bagwell to show up.
  • Strowman grabbed the stairs. STOP REMINDING ME OF THE STAIRS MATCH!  
  •  They're doing the Stairs match again, aren't they?
  • Titus O'Neil is basically the greatest human being ever.
  • I feel so bad for Tyler Breeze
  • Breeze saying O'Neil only played football because he's an "uggo" and wore a helmet to hide his face is great. Please go back to NXT, Tyler. They appreciate you down there.
  • It's not a Boston Crab, Cole. It's a Calgary Crab, he was trained by Lance Storm.
  • I feel so bad for Tyler Breeze
  • Ziggler is trying so hard to look like Shawn Michaels it hurts
  • Kevin Owens is by far the best heel in WWE
  •  Ziggler bumps way to hard sometimes. He's gonna give himself a concussion
  • Owens mockingly cheering Ziggler on is fantastic
  • "Ziggler doesn't remind you every second of how good he is". What show are you watching, Saxton?
  • Ziggler-Owens is usually a great match, but it happens so often it's hard to get excited for it.
  • Oddly enough, "Sexual Chocolate", Mae Young, and Sami were left out of Mark Henry's Black History Month video package.
  • I feel really stupid for not getting Fastlane tickets.
  • Sasha Banks makes every segment better.
  • Don't talk Tamina
  • Pop culture references FTW
  • Sasha yelling at the hard camera like she's yelling at Charlotte is perfect
  • Sasha is the definition of how a tweener should work. She's still full of herself and arrogant, but she's noble and wants to win on her own.
  • So much for unity. Sorry, I mean UNITYYYYYYY.
  • Team B.A.E > Team B.A.D

Photo credit: @TMCoverage on Twitter
  • I didn't know Ron Simmons knew any words other than "DAMN!"
  • Heel Jericho is coming back. Just you wait.
  • Goldust and R-Truth fighting over who is weirder is actually really funny. I want Golden Truth to be a team almost as bad as I want the Aussie Invasion
  • Booty-ham. Enough said
  • Roman Reigns vs Rusev has happened twice as many times as Dolph Ziggler vs Kevin Owens
  • AJ Styles vs The Miz will be great being called by Mauro Rannallo
  • The New Day are so amazing at everything they do, I wish hour three was dedicated simply to New Day segments
  • I will never get tired of Kofi threatening to fight children
  • "We'll fight you out of love"-Perfect
  • Fanfiction is kind of like Chris Benoit, except instead of not being talked about on WWE TV, fanfiction should not be talked about anywhere, ever
  •  Heyman verbally laying the smackdown on commentary is always great
  • Kofi's shoe game is on point
  • "Roman Reigns actually survived Suplex City". But he lost. Just go home, Byron. Forever.
  • I love Heyman on commentary. He manages to put people over, and still get his point across.
  • Big E's apron splash looks so painful. He learned selling well from Ziggler
  • Brandon Stroud is right, Ambrose's suicide dive is more like a gentle push
  • The New Day's Unicorn Stampede (yes, that's what it is actually called) is one of the funniest moves ever just because of Xavier Woods and his trombone
  • Woods yelling is better than the commentary team
  • Big E spanked Ambrose while he was in the abdominal stretch. That's a little...uncomfortable  to watch
  • But that move should be called the 50 Shades of Day
  •  Reigns made a hot tag just to tag out like a minute later
And that's about it.
Thanks for reading.
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