Picture this; it's 2011, and TNA is holding their Victory Road pay-per-view, and they've just gotten to the main event. The main event is supposed to be Sting defending the TNA World Heavyweight Championship against Jeff Hardy. Two of the biggest stars in wrestling today main eventing your show; what could possibly go wrong? A lot. Well...let's get into this.
First off, whoever let Jeff Hardy record the music for his entrance theme should be fired immediately...forever. His distorted vocals are terrible, and the beat is one of those basic rock beats a middle schooler could make on GarageBand. The camera awkwardly holds on the stage for a good twenty seconds, before cutting away, then cutting back as Hardy stumbles out, 45 seconds after his music started. It's clear already that something is up with him; he's walking strange, he keeps putting is hands up his shirt, and he's doing weird stuff with his hands like he's Ricky Bobby. He is in no condition to compete.
Sting comes out with the TNA World Heavyweight Championship, which, at the time, had quite possibly the worst design in the history of professional wrestling:
Look at that! That is hideous! This design was introduced by Hardy and dubbed the "Immortal Championship" after the stable Hardy was in, Immortal. You might be thinking "Oh, well Hardy was a heel at the time, so it makes sense he would have his own custom title belt. What do you have a problem with heels having custom title belts, you loser!" Well, you hypothetical, judgmental reader, let me explain it like this. When other wrestlers have made title belts for themselves (Austin, Cena, Edge, Miz, Cody Rhodes, Jay Briscoe, Taz), at least they still LOOKED like championships. Hell, Cena and Rhodes' designs ended up being the default title designs for the WWE and Intercontinental Championships, respectively, for years after they introduced them. Look at these four belts and tell me which one looks the least credible:
Case and point.
First off, whoever let Jeff Hardy record the music for his entrance theme should be fired immediately...forever. His distorted vocals are terrible, and the beat is one of those basic rock beats a middle schooler could make on GarageBand. The camera awkwardly holds on the stage for a good twenty seconds, before cutting away, then cutting back as Hardy stumbles out, 45 seconds after his music started. It's clear already that something is up with him; he's walking strange, he keeps putting is hands up his shirt, and he's doing weird stuff with his hands like he's Ricky Bobby. He is in no condition to compete.
Sting comes out with the TNA World Heavyweight Championship, which, at the time, had quite possibly the worst design in the history of professional wrestling:
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Jeremy Borash does the ring introductions and mentions that this is the main event of the show twice, which in hindsight is basically just rubbing salt into the wound of this mess. Before the match starts, Eric Bischoff comes out and tells the crowd that he's going to be fair. He then goes to shake Sting's hand, while holding the microphone behind his back, so I'm assuming he's telling Sting about Hardy being f**ked up. Bischoff says that the match is now No Disqualifications, and Sting punches him.
The bell rings, and Hardy spends about 40 seconds walking around the ring, teasing where he's going to throw his shirt before Sting backs him into a corner. You can tell Sting's just absolutely pissed about this and isn't even going to try to hide it or put up with Hardy's sh*t. Hardy gets back up, does more teasing, before just dropping his t-shirt in the ring. They lock up after almost a minute and a half, Sting gets some strikes in, and almost immediately hits a Scorpion Death Drop and gets the three. No joke, it's over in less than two minutes. Hardy tried to kick out, but Sting physically restrained him down. The look on Sting's face tells the entire story:
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Some fans started chanting "BULLSH*T!" which Sting replies "I AGREE!". And that's how a pay-per-view ended; not only with the fans, but one of the wrestlers thinking it was bullsh*t.
The Verdict
Just a trainwreck. Basically everyone except Sting & Brian Hebner is at fault here. TNA should never have Hardy out there to wrestle in the condition he was in. It was just a travesty from start to finish.Rankings (Best to Worst)
- Sting vs Vampiro-Great American Bash 2000
- Konnan vs One Man Gang-SuperBrawl VI
- Ultimate Warrior vs Hercules-WrestleMania IV
- The Chamber of Horrors-Halloween Havoc 1991
- Nikita Koloff vs Bobby Eaton-Bunkhouse Stampede
- Total Divas vs Other Divas-Survivor Series 2013
- The Oddities vs Kaientai-SummerSlam 1998
- Hulk Hogan vs Sid Justice-WrestleMania VIII
- Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Hog Wild
- Jake Roberts vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania V
- Al Snow vs Big Boss Man-Unforgiven 1999
- Christy Hemme vs Big Fat Oily Guy-Against All Odds 2007
- Junkyard Dog vs Moondog Spot-Wrestling Classic
- Kevin Sullivan vs Dave Sullivan-SuperBrawl V
- Greg Valentine vs George Steele-Heroes of Wrestling
- Hollywood Hogan vs The Warrior-Halloween Havoc 1998
- The Royal Family vs Clowns R' Us-Survivor Series 1994
- Sting vs Jeff Hardy-Victory Road 2011
- Ultimate Warrior vs Andre the Giant-Saturday Night's Main Event (11/25/1989)
- The Doomsday Cage Match-Uncensored 1996
- James Storm vs Chris Harris-Lockdown 2007
Up next on the list is...
Thanks for reading.
I know this a while ago but in everyone-but-Hardy's defense, he made his entrance before anyone could stop him after disappearing until right before the match. They would not have let him wrestle if hadn't been too late to stop him. Even TNA isn't THAT irresponsible...
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