Oh boy, we are in the final months of WCW, so this should be a doozy. WCW is literally two months away from going out of buisness, and it shows with Sin. Aside from three of the four people in this match, Goldberg, Flair, and Sting, there's no one here even worth pushing. They were so strapped for talent that Road Warrior Animal (yeah, ROAD WARRIOR ANIMAL) somehow weaseled his way into a WCW World Championship match. He goes up against champion Scott Steiner, Sid Vicious, and Jeff Jarrett in the main event. Which is weird, because both Flair and Sting didn't have a match on the card, but they were still like "nah, put one half of the Road Warriors in". Anyway, this match is most notable for one moment, and that's when Sid breaks his leg mid match, so that's not going to be fun to see. I can't really put this off any longer, so here it is.
So, for starters, Animal doesn't actually start in the match. After Michael Buffer's unnecessarily long introductions, Ric Flair comes out and says his mystery challenger will show up later. Normally I'd say that it's against the rules for someone to show up late to a match, but this is WCW, so I'm assuming there are some made up rules Vince Russo expects everyone to know already. Steiner goes after Flair, but Jarrett convinces him to stay. Steiner gets back in the ring and gets worked over by Sid with some bad punches. Steiner and Jarrett throw Sid out of the ring, and after less than a minute, Steiner and Sid are already brawling on the outside. Sid gets back in the ring and starts to work over Jarrett. Steiner gets back in the ring, so Sid works over both of them.
Sid does the worst 10 punches in the corner, and Jarrett finally gets some offense in. Steiner hits a lovely belly-to-belly on Sid and covers, which Jarrett doesn't even attempt to break up because "reasons", and only gets a two. I know the two were secretly in the Magnificent Seven (sorry, fifteen year spoiler alert) together, but clearly Flair (who is also in the group) and Steiner don't like each other, so wouldn't he want to get the title off of Steiner then? Whatever, this company is dying anyway. The two team up on Sid again. Steiner hits an elbow drop on Sid, then starts doing push-ups because Scott Steiner is great.
Brawl to the outside #2: Jarrett whips Sid and Sid takes the slowest bump over the guard rail, followed by a slow hot shot by Jarrett on the guard rail. Sid is able to fight back, hits some slow punches and gives Jarrett the least enthusiastic kick to the gut I've ever seen. Man, Sid just looks like he wants to be anywhere but in this match. Believe me, he's going to wish he was somewhere else even more very soon.
Steiner stops a powerbomb attempt, and hits a back breaker, followed by a knee from the second rope by Jarrett, which he misses by a mile. Jarrett must be phoning it in or something. Normally he's fine, but damn, he's just awful in this match. Jarrett covers and STEINER DOESN'T BREAK IT UP! ARE YOU SERIOUS! OK, I can sort of understand Jarrett letting Steiner get the pin, just to keep the title in the group, but STEINER IS THE CHAMPION! AND HE DOESN'T LIKE HIS TEAM ANYWAY! WHY IS HE VOLUNTARILY GIVING UP THE WORLD TITLE! WHAT SENSE DOES THAT MAKE?! WHAT IS THIS MATCH?!
Sid double suplexes Steiner and Jarrett and runs wild on the two, hitting big boots on both and chokeslaming Jarrett. Sid makes the cover, but Steiner breaks it up. Oh, so NOW he cares about retaining the championship. Sid hits just about the laziest cobra clutch slam in history (literally, Steiner does all the work, Sid doesn't even act like he's doing a move) and pie faces Jarrett out of the ring. Brawl to the outside #3: Sid whips Jarrett out of the ring. Suddenly it cuts to Flair backstage by a limo, and he calls out...
What the f*ck. What is that? Is that supposed to be intimidating? He looks like Jason Voorhees from a cheap home video version of Friday the 13th.
So thanks to the wonders of editing, we get back to the ring and Sid already has his leg broken. I imagine they thought showing the break would be to gruesome, but did they really think no one would notice Sid's leg being in half? He went from running wild to...not running at all. Tony Schiavone says Sid "might have hurt his leg". Yeah, might of. Instead of actually getting him help, they just him lie in the ring with a broken leg.
Steiner starts softly kicking him because there isn't really much he can do at this point, and starts doing push ups to kill time for the seriously injured leg. Jarrett's just wandering around on the hard camera because he doesn't know what to do at this point. Steiner goes back to his super soft offense on Sid, and the discount Jason Voorhees finally shows up. He walks down the ramp to the ring. You a...you want to go a little faster, there. I mean, not trying to be rude, but there's this one guy with one functioning leg who really needs help, and he can't leave until you get here.
The mystery guy lightly hits Sid, and that's enough for Steiner to pin him for the win. Yes, the man with the broken leg took the fall. WCW, everybody. The mystery guy unmasks as Animal, hugs Steiner, and the heels celebrate. The main event, everyone.
The Verdict
This was a clusterf*ck, plain and simple. Nothing in this match made sense, and as soon as Sid broke his leg, anything that was still together in this match completely broke apart.
The Rankings
Rankings (Best to Worst)
- Too Much vs Al Snow & Head-King of the Ring 1998
- Vampiro vs Sting-Great American Bash 2000
- Konnan vs One Man Gang-SuperBrawl VI
- Ultimate Warrior vs Hercules-WrestleMania IV
- The Chamber of Horrors-Halloween Havoc 1991
- Nikita Koloff vs Bobby Eaton-Bunkhouse Stampede
- Total Divas vs Other Divas-Survivor Series 2013
- The Oddities vs Kaientai-SummerSlam 1998
- Hulk Hogan vs Sid Justice-WrestleMania VIII
- Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Hog Wild
- Jake Roberts vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania V
- Al Snow vs Big Boss Man-Unforgiven 1999
- Christy Hemme vs Big Fat Oily Guy-Against All Odds 2007
- Vampiro vs Oklahoma-Starrcade 1999
- Junkyard Dog vs Moondog Spot-Wrestling Classic
- Hiroshi Wajima vs Tom Magee-All Japan Pro Wrestling 1988
- Kevin Sullivan vs Dave Sullivan-SuperBrawl V
- Steve McMichael vs Brian Adams-Road Wild 1998
- Scott Steiner vs Sid Vicious vs Jeff Jarrett vs Road Warrior Animal-Sin
- Greg Valentine vs George Steele-Heroes of Wrestling
- Hollywood Hogan vs The Warrior-Halloween Havoc 1998
- The Royal Family vs Clowns R' Us-Survivor Series 1994
- Sting vs Jeff Hardy-Victory Road 2011
- Ultimate Warrior vs Andre the Giant-Saturday Night's Main Event (11/25/1989)
- The Doomsday Cage Match-Uncensored 1996
- James Storm vs Chris Harris-Lockdown 2007
- John Laurinaitis vs John Cena-Over the Limit 2012
And next up is...
That actually fits better than you'd think.
Thanks for reading. Be sure to share if you enjoyed
Comments
Post a Comment