We're on the Road to WrestleMania, and boy is it going to be a bumpy road. The top babyface is getting booed out of the building everywhere he goes, and the top heel is being cheered. Let's see if WWE can successfully pull this together, and it starts here on RAW. Here are my thoughts on tonight's RAW.
- Prior to the show, they show Dean Ambrose arriving at RAW. He gets attacked by Brock Lesnar in the parking garage, and gets slammed on top of a limo's front window. Ambrose got stretchered out and into an ambulance.
- Vince McMahon comes down to give out the Vince McMahon Sr. Legacy of Excellence Award. At this point I'm thinking "this is either going to Stephanie, Triple H, or Vince himself." McMahon gives a history of his family, and gives the award to...Stephanie of course. I know they did it to get heat, but this segment reeks of Stephanie's idea. If it makes her look good, she probably wrote it. Stephanie name drops Roman Reigns, and he gets booed, so that is troubling. Stephanie is about to give her speech when outcomes SHANE MCMAHON! Sidenote: his shoe game is on point. The crowd chants HOLY SH*T! and THIS IS AWESOME!. Vince goes for a hug, but Shane says no. Shane says Stephanie doesn't deserve an award for "Legacy of Excellence." Vince tries to take it backstage, but Shane says no. Stephanie says this is her moment, but Shane says she doesn't deserve it. Shane drops the bombshell on Stephanie that the company is driving into the ground because of her and Triple H. The ratings and stock are down, and the talent are injured under her watch. Shane also says he helped Vince in a troubling time, and they made a deal. Shane says he let Stephanie climb the corporate ladder. Stephanie asks Vince if it's true, and he avoids the question. Vince eventually breaks and says there's some truth to it. Stephanie says she'll never forgive Shane and leaves. Vince asks Shane why he's doing this, and Shane says he wants the WWE to be around for his children, and he wants control of Monday Night RAW. #YES. Vince laughs it off, saying that means he'd control WWE (Smackdown and NXT don't exist, I guess), but says he'll give him what he wants IF he wins a match of Vince McMahon's choosing. If he loses, he has to give Vince a lock box(?) so can't hold anything over his head anymore. Shane agrees, and Vince announces his match will be at WrestleMania against...THE UNDERTAKER. Ha, ok...wait, he was serious? Please God, let him be joking. Anyway, a great segment. Great to see Shane McMahon back. Although I'm still skeptical about him fighting Undertaker. There's no way they'd actually book that match, right? RIGHT?!
- Neville & the Lucha Dragons vs The New Day-Luckily, the New Day are still heels despite the confusing ending to the Cutting Edge Peep Show. Woods & Kalisto start the match, with Kalisto immediately kicking Woods out of the ring before the match goes to commercial. We come back with the Flippy Dudes (I'm calling them that from now on) dominating Woods. Weird seeing the babyfaces getting the heat on the heels. Also commentary is more focused on the thing we just saw 20 minutes ago than the match. New Day eventually gets the advantage after a belly-to-belly by Big E to Neville. New Day runs through their Unicorn Stampede , ending with the Irsih whip into a corner drop kick. New Day works over Neville for a long time as they go to ANOTHER COMMERCIAL. Dude, that's the second one this match. Hell, at least I get a quick break to write these in between. We come back with the New Day still working over Neville. The Lucha Dragons break up a pin by Big E off the huge splash and leg drop by Woods. Neville flings Woods over the top rope and into the ring steps and almost makes the tag, but Kofi makes the stop. Neville is able to make the tag to Sin Cara, he runs wild on the heels. Man, if Titus O'Neil & Jason Jordan have the hottest hot tags in wrestling, Sin Cara might have the coldest, the crowd doesn't care at all. Sin Cara pins Kofi after a suicide dive, but Big E breaks it up. Mayhem ensues, everyone hits their spots, including a lovely 450 of the ring apron by Neville to Big E on the floor. Kofi dodges a senton bomb by Sin Cara, almost gets caught with a Swiss Blade (seriously, he was going for a Cesaro-style Swiss Blade). Kofi pulls on Sin Cara's mask to make it cover his eyes and hits Trouble in Paradise for the win. Fun, exciting match with lots of high flying action and big spots. Only complaint, two commercial breaks, what was that.
- Roman Reigns gets interviewed by JoJo backstage. The crowd boos and chants "We Want Ambrose" Reigns says it's all come down to just Triple H and him. If they really go through with this match, it's going to be a disaster.
- Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman are out for a promo. At this point, I realize there's only been one match and two segments and RAW's already 1/3 over. Heyman calls this the main event, and talks about Fastlane. He slams Ambrose for making a normal triple threat a hardcore match and screwing Lesnar. Heyman says that pissed Brock off (which got censored). They show the pre-RAW attack on Ambrose. Heyman goes off on Ambrose's fans, and accidentally breaks the mic. He says Brock is in a destructive mood, and warns anyone who wants to step up to Brock, they should go visit Ambrose in the hospital. Backstage, we see an ambulance driving into the backstage area. It pulls up by the stage, and who's driving the ambulance?... DEAN. F*CKING. AMBROSE. Ambrose crawls his way to the ring, where Brock steps on his head and walks over Ambrose. Ambrose grabs the mic and tells Brock he's indestructible. He challenges Lesnar to a No Holds Barred match at WrestleMania. Lesnar goes back after Ambrose, and F-5's him on the floor. Heyman says that Brock accepts the challenge. Fantastic segment
- The Usos vs The Ascension-LOL Ascension. Before the match, The Dudleyz come out to cut a promo. Bubba Ray says not to take their attack on the Usos personally, and that they wanted to remind everyone they were not a one trick pony, and that they're one of the greatest tag teams ever. Bubba Ray says the fans will never see the tables again. D-Von takes shots Rikishi, calling him a one trick pony, and that he should have taught them respect. The Ascension blindside The Usos, and the match starts. The Ascension runs wild while the crowd chants "We Want Tables", not giving a sh*t about this match. The Usos control and run wild, hitting Viktor with a double superkick and a top rope splash for the quick win. Nothing match that exists simply to further the Usos-Dudleyz feud.
- Chris Jericho is out for a promo. He puts over AJ Styles on the mic and invites Styles down to the ring. He says that if Styles lost last night it could have ruined his WWE career, but he didn't. He congratulates Styles, and tells him he proved he belongs in the WWE, and that he's phenomenal. Out comes the SOCIAL OUTCASTS BAYBAY! Quick question; why does Bo Dallas only wear one knee pad? I don't like the no knee pads look, but man, one knee pad looks absolutely horrible. Anyway, the four trash talk Styles and Jericho, and Adam Rose says that no one is buying these two as friends. Slater says the two need to get out of their ring, so Jericho calls him a ginger jackass. JBL quickly corrects him by saying "it's the Red Dragon". Jericho says he Styles are going to team up to face the Social Outcasts.
- Chris Jericho & AJ Styles vs Heath Slater & Curtis Axel-Jericho & Styles take control early in the match, working over Slater. Styles goes for the Styles Clash early, but Slater counters it, and that enables the Social Outcasts to take advantage. Axel & Slater work over Styles for a bit, and...I'm sorry, I've got to address this IS AJ STYLES REALLY GETTING BEAT UP BY HEATH F*CKING SLATER! IS THIS REAL LIFE? Styles hits a Pele Kick on Slater and makes the tag to Jericho, who runs wild on Axel. Jericho gets Axel in the walls while Styles takes out the other Social Outcasts for the submission win. Pretty entertaining match.
- Triple H and Stephanie are backstage. H calls Shane a loser, and Stephanie goes to tell Reigns something. Quick segment, didn't mean much.
- Reigns is walking backstage when Stephanie approaches him and tells him he's facing Sheamus tonight. Man, booking Sheamus vs Roman Reigns, that's a heel move right there.
- Another R-Truth and Goldust segment. Goldust has a cake for Truth. Truth says he doesn't want any apologies or cake, and that he doesn't want him as a tag partner. Goldust says he can predict everything Truth does. Truth smashes the cake into Goldust's face. This is like the new "Stardust & Goldust dick around in a dark room for months doing nothing" segment.
- The Wyatt Family vs Big Show, Kane, and
GoldbergRyback-It's the rematch no one wanted to see. Erick Rowan puts his & Strowman's masks on Byron before the match. It's kind of funny. Wyatt's subbed in for Strowman in this match. Kane dominates to start, and the crowd is already chanting "Boring." The crowd chants "Gillberg" at Ryback, and Luke Harper takes control with a drop kick. The Wyatt's dominate Kane for a while before he makes the tag to Ryback. Ryback tries to speed up the match and make it interesting, but it's a lost cause at this point. We go to commercial as Ryback starts doing the Feed Me More chants. We come back with the Wyatt's in control of Ryback. JBL says the Wyatt Family are used to losing. Nice, JBL, bury them even further. Ryback makes the tag to Big Show, and the crowd goes wild for some reason. Big Show runs wild until mayhem ensues. Strowman pulls down the top rope and makes Show fall out of the ring. Wyatt's start working over Big Show until delivers two big slaps to Harper. Harper counters a chokeslam with a sleeper, which Show counters and makes the tag to Kane. Kane runs wild on the Wyatt's, until Ryback randomly walks out on his partners and goes to the back. Bray Wyatt hits Sister Abigail for the win. Boring match that shouldn't have happened. Like, I don't think anyone is actually interested in seeing where the Ryback story goes. - Ryback is interviewed by Rich Brennan. He says he deserves the spotlight, and he needs to start standing by himself. He says he's going to break the glass ceiling and grab the brass ring. Honestly, that's actually pretty good motivation.
- Sasha Banks vs Naomi-The two lock up and trade offense before Naomi takes advantage. Naomi distracts the ref and allows Tamina to knock Sasha off the ring apron as we go to commercial. We come back with Sasha in control, working over Naomi and hitting double knees to the face. After getting knocked off the top rope, Becky Lynch comes down to take out Tamina, and that allows Sasha too lock in the Bank Statement. Decent, but nothing match. After the match, Charlotte comes out to mock Becky and Sasha, calling them Tina Fey and Amy Poehler "only with cheaper hair dye". The crowd literally goes silent. That's how bad that joke was. Charlotte tells the two they'll have a #1 contenders match with the winner facing Charlotte at WrestleMania for the Divas Championship. Charlotte fakes out Becky by telling her to watch out, and then leaves. Charlotte is awful. I don't care if she's good in the ring, she is absolute dog sh*t on the mic. Which wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that SHE IS ALWAYS TALKING. SHE NEVER SHUTS UP. JUST LET YOUR DAD TALK FOR YOU AND ZIP IT! If he's there for that exact reason, then why is he even there?
- They replay the opening segment for about the sixth time tonight. It just annoyed me.
- They announce that The Godfather will be inducted into the Hall of Fame. You know what, good for him.
- Roman Reigns vs Sheamus-Reigns gets booed when he makes his entrance. Sheamus takes control early and works on the left arm. Reigns fights back, but Shemaus keeps control and keeps working on the arm. Reigns is able to fight off Sheamus and clothesline him out of the ring, going out of the ring and hitting a jumping clothesline off the stairs. Sheamus distracts the referee so the League of Nations can interfere as we go to commercial. We come back and the League of Nations is gone because they got kicked out of ringside by the referee. You know, that's pretty important, you should probably show us that. Reigns hits a Superman Punch and Sheamus rolls out of the ring, but Reigns catches him with a spear. Reigns rolls back into the ring before the ten count, but Triple H comes out before ten count too. No business suit, he's in his fighting clothes. Reigns meets H on the ramp for a brawl, with the crowd behind Triple H and booing Reigns. Reigns Superman Punches H and clotheslines him into the timekeeper's area. Triple H clocks him with the ring bell, and the crowd still is behind Triple H. The Game smashes Reigns into the announce table multiple times, and actual busts Reigns open. Triple H hammers away on Reigns' face before the referee's stop him. Triple H finishes Reigns off with a Pedigree on the steps and celebrates with his title. There's your main event, WWE, the top heel bloodies the top babyface and he's getting cheered. They dug their own grave, and now they're going to have to lay in it.
And that's about it. Overall, this was a great show. It set up about 4 matches, and we got the surprise return of Shane McMahon! But seriously, WWE, if you haven't realized you've made a terrible mistake with your main event, then your ignorance is your bliss.
Thanks for reading. Be sure to share if you enjoyed.
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