We're still on the Road to WrestleMania 32, and it seems to have gotten a little smoother. With the great RAW last week featuring the return of Shane McMahon and Triple H demolishing Roman Reigns, it was going to be interesting to see where WWE went after that. Without further adieu, here are my thoughts on this weeks RAW.
- We kick off the show with Triple H. He talks about authority and authority figures. He says everyone hates their authority figure, but won't stand up to them because they are afraid. He says that fear is what keeps everyone in their place. He says Roman Reigns should have stayed in his place. Triple H pauses for the non-existent Roman Reigns chants, because this isn't going well for WWE. Outcomes Dean Ambrose, which gives us what should have been the main event of WrestleMania, Dean Ambrose vs Triple H. Ambrose says he got off the phone with Reigns, he says he said "Hi" and he's coming for him. Triple H calls him a the Best Supporting Actor in a Bromance, which leads to a strange conversation about Ambrose being in a movie and Mad Max. Ambrose recaps last weeks RAW. Ambrose asks Triple H who he didn't want to win at Fastlane, which Triple H responds to by saying Ambrose wasn't a factor in the triple threat. Ambrose says he was the last guy Triple H wanted to fight at WrestleMania. Why is this not the feud going to WrestleMania? Ambrose says Triple H doesn't think he could beat him, and Triple H responds by saying Ambrose dresses like a bum. The crowd is really quiet tonight, it's kind of depressing. Ambrose challenges Triple H to a match for the title. Triple H says he will take in under advisement, and will give him an answer by the end of RAW. Is it that easy to get title matches in WWE? Zack Ryder should try that. Triple H decides to book him in a match with Alberto Del Rio to see if he can learn to respect authority.
- They announce The Undertaker, Vince McMahon, and Stephanie McMahon will all be appearing tonight.
- Sasha Banks vs Becky Lynch-Charlotte & Ric Flair are sitting at ringside. Just be thankful she isn't on commentary. The lock up, with both exchanging roll ups and trying to lock in their submissions. Sasha looks like she botches a baseball slide, which allows Becky to take control, but Sasha regains control by throwing Becky into the post before the commercial. We come back Sasha in control, getting a two on the double knees to the face. Becky hits an exploder suplex for another two. Sasha hits another double knees to the face for another two. The two go back and forth until Becky hits a top rope dropkick, which gets a two. Becky goes for a a superplex, which Sasha reverses into a sunset flip . However, the landing knocked Sasha out, and both Becky and Sasha had their shoulders down, ending the match in a draw. Wow, someone on the main roster watches NXT. Charlotte's music plays as she walks off. Good match, good ending.
- We get a Wyatt Family promo. Wyatt gives the definition of insanity. That's all I really remember.
- Dolph Ziggler vs The Miz-This match is happening because Miz interrupted Ziggler's interview with Renee Young. Miz says he should be on the WrestleMania card, and Ziggler says he hasn't done sh*t since WrestleMania 27. Ziggler starts the match by rolling up Miz a couple of times. Ziggler goes for the superkick, which Miz blocks and switches into a Skull Crushing Finale, which Ziggler counters. Ziggler gets rolled up after running into the corner for the win. Man, losing in less than a minute to the Miz? Remember a year ago when Ziggler was the sole survivor at Survivor Series and got rid of the Authority? Good times, am I right?
- AJ Styles & Chris Jericho vs The New Day is announced for tonight.
- Stephanie McMahon comes out to accept the Vincent J. McMahon Legacy of Excellence Award she was supposed to get last week. She walks out and does a pageant wave. That was pretty funny. That's the probably the first thing she's ever did I didn't hate. She gives out about Shane, and she says she's going to give her speech. The crowd chants "Shane O Mac", so she says he isn't here tonight. She tries to give her speech, so the crowd boos her. Also, the crowd chants "Randy Savage" at her, which might be the most appropriate moment to chant Randy Savage at someone. She tips over the table because people chanted Shane at her. She continues to give out about Shane. She says she doesn't respect him, and that it eats him alive that she married Triple H. She says she doesn't want to work for Shane, and she says Undertaker will dismember him at Hell in a Cell. God Dammit, Stephanie. She says that everyone will bow down to her; the queen. She says this in a terrible attempt at doing her father's voice. They go to another commercial. Wow, there hasn't been much of anything on this show. It's not even like there's been a lot of talking segments. There's only been two segments and two matches in one hour.
- Lucha Dragons vs Rusev & Sheamus-Sheamus and Sin Cara start off as Sheamus controls the match after a Irish Curse back breaker. Rusev tags in and stomps Sin Cara for a bit before applying a double shoulder claw. The heels continue to beat up Sin Cara. The whole time the commentators talk about Rusev's body slam challenge instead of the match. Sin Cara finally makes the tag and runs wild on Rusev, but has his pin after a hurricanrana broken up by Sheamus. Del Rio distracts Kalisto, which allows Rusev to hit a roundhouse kick for the win. Del Rio hits his double stomp on Kalisto as an added "F*ck you". Overall, decent match, a little short and nothing special.
- Natalya gets interviewed by Renee Young on "how she looks so good". I tuned out. I think it was like a Subway ad or something. Personally, I prefer Burger King Chicken Fries like Tyson Kidd.
- Actually, I want to talk about Burger King Chicken Fries for a second. Have you ever actually gotten Burger King's Chicken Fries? They are such a rip-off. They're not bad, but you only get like six fries for three bucks. I'm an adult, I need more than six fries. Oh, wait, RAW's on, I forgot.
- Ryback vs Adam Rose-Ryback says it's time for the spotlight to be on him in a picture in picture. Ryback dominates at the beginning, but Rose mounts some offense, hitting a single leg dropkick for a two. Ryback quickly re-gains control and beats the living piss out of Adam Rose with punches. Ryback hits the Shell Shock for the win and immediately leaves. Honestly, I like this new Ryback. It's a lot better than the one who just kind of cracked jokes and sh*t. No nonsense Ryback for the win.
- The New Day vs AJ Styles & Chris Jericho-New Day hug, say they are the best three man team, and call the League of Nations the "League of Booty". I'm sorry, are these guys faces or heels? I mean, they sh*t talk Jericho & Styles, but they also sh*t talk The League of Nations. After that Fastlane segment, I'm so confused. Also, fun thing I saw, the crowd has a bunch of little "They Don't Want None" signs like the "Cesaro Section" signs. Jericho & Kofi start the match, with Jericho & Styles taking control after a dropkick by Jericho. The two throw both Big E and Kofi out of the ring, and hit twin body presses outside the ring as we go to commercial. We come back to The New Day doing the Unicorn Stampede on AJ Styles. The New Day works over Styles. Styles tries to make the tag, but Kofi stops him, throws him outside, and lifts him into the ring apron face first. In a very funny moment, Xavier Woods asks Kofi what he's got, and Kofi pulls a playing card and yells "I'VE GOT HIS NUMBER!" Big E hits a big splash for a two. AJ hits a Pele kick and makes the tag to Jericho. Jericho runs wild on Kofi, and hits a bulldog which Kofi sells to late. Jericho avoids a dropkick and hits a Lionsault, but Big breaks up the pin. Styles takes out Big E with a flying forearm, and Jericho catches Kofi's leg and locks in the Walls of Jericho. Styles grabs the mic and says that him and Jericho are at the top of the list at a shot for the Tag Team Championships next week. Great match, and I'm hyped for the rematch next week for the titles.
- Vince McMahon comes out, and isn't pleased with the ovation he gets. He says it would take a miracle for Shane to beat the Undertaker. He also says that if Shane wins, Stephanie & Triple H would quit the business. Again, SmackDown doesn't exist, apparently. Vince says he loves Shane, and that's why he's teaching him this lesson by having him fight the Undertaker. Then the gong sounds. The Undertaker walks out. Vince is about to say something, but Undertaker grabs his throat before he does. He says Vince knows what happens when the match starts, and that Shane's blood will be on Vince's hands, not his. Undertaker leaves, and Vince continues his promo. Vince says he's going to write Shane out of the will, and give everything to Stephanie. He also says he will renounce Shane as his son, and that he will only be a son of a bitch, with a look of remorse on his face. Great segment.
- Jey Uso vs Bubba Ray Dudley-Jey starts off keeping Bubba in the corner and working him over. Bubba eventually takes control, rips off the Jey's t-shirt, and gives him a slap. Jey retakes control, forcing Bubba against the ropes. Jey hits a superkick on Bubba, and sets up the hip smash in the corner (The Super Stinkface) until D-Von grabs a table to distract Jey. Jimmy tries to attack him by jumping off the steps, but D-Von just throws the table at him and smacks him out of the air. It was magical. Jey superkicks D-Von, gets back in the ring, and that allows Bubba to hit the Bubba Bomb for the win. Pretty pointless match, but gets an A+ simply for the D-Von destroying Jimmy Uso with a table.
- Kevin Owens vs Big Show is announced for tonight
- Kevin Owens vs Big Show-Big Show stars off in control before Owens rolls out of the ring. Owens throws Show into the ring post, and goes for the count out win. Big Show gets up, so Owens hits an tornado DDT from the apron to the outside. Big Show makes it back in the ring in time. Owens goes to the top rope, but Big Show grabs him and throws him crotch first onto the rope. Owens falls out of the ring, and Big Show gets a count out win. Well, that was pointless.
- Renee Youn interviews Brie Bella. She says she tried hard in her match with Charlotte, and talks about Daniel Bryan and Nikki. Out comes Lana(?), who sh*t talks Brie for no reason. Brie says Rusev looks like a bear, and then leaves. Well, that was also pointless. Brie faces Naomi tonight.
- Brie Bella vs Naomi-The two lock up, and Naomi takes the advantage, only for Brie to take it with an arm bar. Naomi tosses Brie onto the apron, and roundhouse kicks her to the ground. Tamina interferes, and Namoi baseball slides her to the ground. Naomi controls the match, hitting a bulldog into the middle turnbuckle. Naomi misses a split legged moonsault hits, but hits a few kicks before Brie takes the advantage with her Daniel Bryan kicks. Tamina interferes, Namoi goes for a crucifix pin, which Brie f*cks up for a two count, and Naomi sloppily applies her new submission for the win. Terrible match. After the match, Lana comes out...and that's it.
- The Fabulous Freebirds are going into the Hall of Fame. Although I'm pretty sure Michael Hayes has said some pretty awful stuff to keep him out of the Hall of Fame like Hulk Hogan.
- They announced the rematch between Sasha and Becky on SmackDown. Charlotte tells some more horrible jokes. She's like Hugh Morrus, minus the part about being a horrible person.
- They announce Styles & Jericho vs The New Day for the Tag Team Championships and Shane McMahon appearing next week on RAW
- Dean Ambrose vs Alberto Del Rio-Since there's only six minutes left in the show, this shouldn't go long. Del Rio takes control, taking Ambrose to ringside and throwing him into the barricade three times. Del Rio hits a DDT for a two, and Del Rio goes to the top rope. He hits...something, and locks in a single knee camel clutch. Ambrose backs Del Rio into the corner, but gets locked in a cross arm breaker over the top rope. Ambrose recovers, hits a neckbreaker, but gets hit in the arm and dropkicked for a two. Del Rio sets up his double stomp (which takes longer to set up than Undertaker's entrance), but Ambrose pulls him down. Ambrose runs wild, but gets caught with a backstabber. Del Rio hits the double stomp on the outside of the ring, and goes back into the ring to let Ambrose be counted out. Ambrose manages to get back in the ring, and gets kicked by Del Rio. Del Rio goes for the cross arm breaker, which Ambrose reverses into a Dirty Deeds, which Del Rio pushes out of, and Ambrose hits a clothesline. Ambrose runs wild, and Ambrose goes to the top. Del Rio catches him, but Del Rio head butts him down and hits a missile dropkick for a two. Del Rio dodges a shoulder tackle in the corner and hits an enziguri, but misses a second rope baseball slide. Ambrose takes out the entire League of Nations with a top rope elbow, and that sends out Triple H. The League of Nations blindside and beat down Ambrose. The League leaves Ambrose for Triple H, who grabs a mic and says that Ambrose never learns. Ambrose hits Triple H, and goes wild on The Game as the crowd goes crazy, but Triple H hits a Pedigree, and agrees to a title match next week. Ambrose, not even holding the mic, just having it lay next to him, thanks Triple H, which prompts him to come back and toss Ambrose from the ring and throw him over the table. Triple H tosses Bryon Saxton out of the way (A+) and beats down Ambrose. The referees stop him before he can put Ambrose through the table as RAW ends. The match was good, and the post-match stuff was great again.
And that's about it. Another good RAW. Next week with the Triple H-Ambrose match, Shane McMahon, and the Tag Team Championship match should be even better.
Thanks for reading. Be sure to share if you enjoyed.
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