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Showing posts from June, 2016

My Thoughts on NXT (6/29/16): Twice the Pain

Whoever added laser sound effects to the NXT opening...f*ck you. Alexa Bliss vs Carmella- The two go back and forth to start before Alexa counters Carmella dropping down by stepping on her and stomping her head. Alexa Bliss is great. Carmella then trips up Alexa when she tries to run the ropes, and the two exchange roll ups before Carmella counters a snapmare by landing on her feet. Carmella takes Bliss down with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors before hitting rough looking wheelbarrow snapmare and a dropkick, which sends Alexa out of the ring. Alexa gets back in the ring and the two exchange holds until Alexa knocks Carmella off the top rope, onto the apron, and does a hair pull takedown on the apron. Alexa works over the left arm by performing a dragon screw through the ropes before the commercial break. We come back with Alexa locking in an armbar on Carmella's left arm. Alexa continues to work over the arm with armbars and knee drops. Alexa then hits a double knee stomp to the

Worst in the World: Yokozuna vs King Mabel-In Your House 4

Mabel legitimately weighed over 500 pounds. Yokozuna legitimately weighed over 500. That's over 1000 pounds in the ring at once. This is scary. If anyone ever tells you that the Big Show-Brock Lesnar superplex legit broke the ring, just show them this match as evidence against that. Or just show them because you hate them and want them to watch a bad match. A big problem with putting really big guys in the ring together with no one else is that a lot of these guys are very...mobile. Sure, there are exceptions like Vader and Bam Bam Bigelow who were very agile, but no one is going to argue that guys like Mark Henry, Great Khali, or Typhoon aren't sluggish in ring. So naturally, putting the two biggest men on the roster in a match together is bound to be about as quick as a sloth waiting in line at the DMV. It's Yokozuna vs King Mabel from In Your House 4: The Great White North, which is ironic, because nothing about this is great. Let's get into it. The match starts

Worst in the World: PN News & Bobby Eaton vs Steve Austin & Terrance Taylor-Great American Bash 1991

If there is any match stipulation that is dumber and more dangerous than a Scaffold match aside from those crazy Japanese death matches, I have yet to find it. If you've never seen a scaffold match, here's the basic gist of it. Rather than in the ring, two wrestlers (or four, in this case) fight atop a narrow scaffold above the ring. The match usually only ends when one man is thrown off the scaffold into the ring. That's right, you win the match by having to make your opponent take a huge bump from a high place. That's insanity. This match was more popular in the 80s and 90s in Memphis, WCW, and ECW, but has still found it's way through into the new millennium, with the last one taking place between James Storm and Rhyno Destination X 2008 because of course TNA would do this. It's an incredibly dangerous match that can lead to serious injury. Just look at New Jack, who suffered legitimate brain damage and lost sight in his right eye due to this bump off a sc

Worst in the World: Bray Wyatt vs John Cena-Extreme Rules 2014

The last time a John Cena match came up on the list , I explained one of the reasons a lot of people, including myself, don't like John Cena, and that's because his character is presented as, as I said in the last post, "a morally upstanding human being who would never do anything even remotely wrong and is holier than thou", despite being a massive prick most of the time. Whether it be publicly humiliating a non-wrestler, making fat jokes about Vickie Guerrero, or making out with his friend's girlfriend and then slut shaming her the next week, he's somehow still considered a good guy who does no wrong by WWE. In this entry, however, we see another reason why a lot of people don't like John Cena. Only this one is more of a shoot reason; his win-lose record. John Cena wins a lot. Like...a lot. Even at times he probably/definitely shouldn't. John Cena has ended up going over on rising stars countless times since becoming "the face that runs the

Worst in the World: Oz vs Tim Parker-SuperBrawl

Not every wrestler can be like CM Punk or Kurt Angle and have a gimmick that immediately clicks and gets over with the crowd as their first gimmick. Many wrestlers have a bad or embarrassing gimmick they went through before becoming the superstars we know today. Before he was the badass redneck Stone Cold, he the was The Ringmaster, a guy who's whole gimmick was "good at wrestling". Before he was Kane, fire controlling demon, he was a dentist, Isacc Yankem, DDS. Before he was the dark & brooding loner Raven, he was Florida surfer Scotty Flamingo. And in today's case, we take a look at one of Kevin Nash's first gimmicks. Long before he was one-third of the group that defined "cool heel" and even before he was Big Daddy Cool Diesel in the WWF, he was...Oz. You know, as in The Wizard of Oz. Can you believe this didn't get over? Oz takes on Tim Parker in his WCW pay-per-view debut at the first ever SuperBrawl. So before Oz eve makes his entrance

My Thoughts on NXT (6/22/16): I Hope You Dance

Tye Dillinger vs Oney Lorcan- Dillinger isn't doing all the cool stuff that makes everyone love him. Why would you do this, NXT? I trusted you. Also, Biff Busick is now Oney Lorcan. What the hell is an Oney Larcon? Whatever. The match is very slow to start, not a lot of offense between the two. Lorcan takes down Dillinger with a shoulder tackle and throws up ten fingers at him, which the crowd horrendously boos. Lorcan locks in a long headlock until Dillinger escapes, but Busick keeps control with a running uppercut after a series of slick reversals. Dillinger starts hammering away on Lorcan with strikes and clotheslines until Lorcan hits a clothesline of his own. Lorcan. Lorcan hits two big back elbows in the corner, but Dillinger counters the third one with a superkick, only getting a two count. Everyone marked out really hard for it, even Tom Phillips. Dillinger goes for the ten punches in the corner, but stops when he notices people are counting with him. Lorcan pushes him

Worst in the World: Wendi Richter vs The Fabulous Moolah-The Brawl to End it All

It's only fitting that at some point this series would venture back to the Rock 'n' Wrestling Connection, the period in time that basically shot the WWF into mainstream popularity. It led to "The Brawl to End it All", the first televised live wrestling match in history and the first televised women's match in history, pitting the WWF Women's Champion Fabulous Moolah with Captain Lou Albano in her corner against Wendi Richter with Cyndi Lauper in her corner. My god, it was bad. This is another one of those matches like Hogan vs Andre from WrestleMania III where if you strip the match of it's historical importance, it's revealed to be a terrible match. So the match takes FOREVER to start, with Albano standing in the ring and taunting and Moolah charging at Lauper who was outside the ring. Seriously, the time between Moolah's entrance and the start of the match is over five minutes. The match starts with the two trading poor arm drags before M

My Thoughts on RAW (6/20/16): You Can't Flex With Us

We kick off the show with WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION DEAN. F*CKING. AMBROSE. Holy sh*t that feels so good to type. Ambrose stands in the ring as the crowd chants "YOU DESERVE IT!" Ambrose name drops the Cavaliers winning the NBA Championship (YES! YES! YES!), which the crowd boos, and then he says he didn't like them anyway because they were freakishly tall. He says Seth Rollins was the right guy in the wrong place, that what goes around comes around, and that hard work pays off. Ambrose says there he isn't having anymore hard times, and outcomes Roman Reigns too a chorus of boos. Those boos quickly die out, so Kevin Dunn is clearly working hard tonight. The two circle each other, and Reigns says last night was Ambrose's night, not his. He congratulates him, says he doesn't care if the crowd boos him for him, and asks how it felt to cash in on Rollins. The crowd chants "YOU CAN'T WRESTLE" at Reigns, which is very annoying. I don't li

Predictions for the Cruiserweight Classic

(For updated predictions, click here ) Well, all 32 competitors have been announced for the Cruiserweight Classic and it's all set to begin this Thursday. With the tournament only a few days away, I felt like throwing out my predictions for how I think the tournament will go and who will win. So here are my predictions for the Cruiserweight Classic. The Elite 8 Now, if I were booking the tournament, I would go for these eight to be the last eight in the tournament: Tajiri Rich Swann Noam Dar Zack Sabre Jr. Johnny Gargano Cedric Alexander Kota Ibushi Tommaso Ciampa And the bracket would look like this: Zack Sabre Jr. vs Tajiri Johnny Gargano vs Tommaso Ciampa Kota Ibushi vs Rich Swann Cedric Alexander vs Noam Dar Quarter Finals So, in the quarter-finals of the tournament, we've got Sabre Jr. going over Tajiri, Gargano going over Ciampa, Ibushi going over Swann, and Dar going over Alexander. So now the tournament looks like this: Zack