Worst in the World: Kane vs The Great Khali: The Trilogy of Terror

Great wrestling is built on great rivalries. Stone Cold vs The Rock. Shawn Michaels vs Bret Hart. Ric Flair vs Ricky Steamboat. But Kane vs the Great Khali? Not so much. Kane was a solid wrestler but was never really great in the ring, and by the time these two first wrestled he was having less than stellar matches. The Great Khali, however, was always bad. Outside of his one Falls Count Anywhere match against John Cena at One Night Stand 2007, pretty much every match the Great Khali ever had was, at best, terrible. Put them together and you have one of the worst pairings in wrestling history. A pairing that would put on matches so bad that they have not one, not two, but THREE DIFFERENT matches that have earned a negative star rating from Dave Meltzer. Rather than cover them individually, I'm going to lump them all together for one giant, three-tiered mountain of crap that these two called "wrestling." Without further ado, let's get into this.

Match #1: WrestleMania 23

Our trilogy begins with their match at WrestleMania 23. Billed as a SmackDown versus Raw Interpromotional match", this comes about following Khali costing Kane a spot in the Money in the Bank ladder match. Before the match actually starts, we get a great shot of Kane's hilariously bad fake hairline.

This has nothing to do with the match, it's just always funny to me. Khali overpowers Kane in a lock-up before flooring him with a shoulder block. Kane tries to throw Khali towards the ropes, but Khali doesn't budge and throws Kane out of the ring. Kane pulls Khali down across the ropes when he gets back in and tries to clothesline Khali, but he doesn't move before Khali clotheslines Kane to the ground. Khali hits a bodyslam before locking in the dreaded SHOULDER CLAW!

Kane fights out, but Khali continues to beat down Kane with what Jim Ross calls "a bowling shoe ugly offense." Khali chokes Kane in the corner before Kane fights back with shots in the corner of his own. Kane goes to the top rope and hits a diving clothesline, but Kane just bounces off of him as Khali stumbles. I'll admit, that's a pretty cool spot. Kane boots Khali towards the ropes, prompting Khali to fall and get his arms tied up in the ropes just like Andre the Giant used to.

That is legitimately the first time I've seen someone other than Andre do that. And don't won't be the only Andre the Giant reference in this match, just wait. Kane beats down on the defenseless Khali before leaving the ring and grabbing a hook and chain from under the ring.

That might sound weird...and it is, so let me explain. Kane starred in a not very good horror movie called See No Evil.  Because of that, Kane started coming down to the ring with a hook & chain like the one he uses in the movie. You'd think he was doing it to promote the movie, but the movie was already long out of theaters at this point and the DVD had been out for five months at this point. So yeah...I don't know.

Khali stops Kane from using the hook (hooking it conveniently on the top rope)  before the two trade blows until Khali gives Kane a brian chop. Khali rips apart a turnbuckle pad, prompting the referee to clean up the mess. This allows Kane to punch Khali, who stumbles right over the chain. Kane grabs the chain and crotches Khali on the chain before giving him a bodyslam, knocking Khali off his feet for the first time in his WWE career. This is obviously supposed to be a reference to when Hulk Hogan slammed Andre the Giant at WrestleMania III. However, it's a lot less impressive when you consider that Andre's about 100 pounds heavier than Khali and Kane is almost as big as Khali anyway.

Kane covers Kkali after the slam, but he kicks out at two and throws Kane off of him. Kane calls for the chokeslam (yeah, right) but Khali powers out and hits the chokebomb (then called the Khali Bomb), covering Kane with a foot on the chest for the three and the win. After the match, Khali grabs the chain and chokes Kane out before leaving.

The Verdict

I'll admit, this isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Sure, it's really just a punch-kick affair where you can count the number of actual moves on one hand, but I've seen far worse, the crowd was surprisingly into it, and Kane just bouncing off of Khali off a diving clothesline was at least pretty cool. It's not worth watching, but it's still better than a lot of the matches I've watched in this series.

Match #2: SummerSlam 2009

We'd be spared of another Kane-Khali match for over two years before these two would cross paths once again. This time, the roles were reversed, with Kane the heel and Khali the babyface. At The Bash, Kane interfered in Khali's No Disqualifications match with Dolph Ziggler (another stinker) and beat down Khali with a steel chair. Additionally, Kane would kidnap Khali's manager and brother Ranjin Singh. After being left off the card for Night of Champions for some reason, the two would face off once again at SummerSlam. With the roles reversed, would their match be any better? Let's find out.

Khali overpowers Kane to start and beats him down in the corner. Kane comes back with an uppercut and tries to whip Khali across the ring. However, Khali doesn't budge before throwing Kane out of the ring. No, you're not re-reading the same match summary. They copied the start of their first match almost exactly. Keeping with their first match, Kane pulls Khali down across the ropes when he gets back in the ring, only to get floored after Khali clotheslines him. Khali does something different this time when he goes for a leg drop. Kane dodges it, however, and dropkicks a seated Khali for a near fall. Kane drops three elbows before calling for the chokeslam, but Khali is able to power out and go for the chokebomb (now called the Punjabi Plunge) but Kane powers out, only to get dropped after another clothesline. Khali follows up with an elbow drop for a near fall.

Khali starts to ground and pound Kane (something I never thought I'd see) before getting another near fall. Khali takes Kane to the corner and beats down on him before chopping him. Kane fights back and goes to the top rope, hitting a diving clothesline and actually knocking Khali down for a near fall. Kane locks in a headlock on Khali until Khali fights out and floors Kane with a back elbow followed by a big boot. Khali follows up with the brain chop, but Kane kicks out at two. Khali locks in the Vise Grip, but Kane reaches the ropes and breaks the hold. Kane takes the opportunity to grab Ranjin Singh from ringside and drag him into the ring. Kane throws Singh to Khali, distracting him long enough to dropkick Khali's leg out from under him and hit a DDT for the three and the win. 

The Verdict

It's very similar to their first match in the sense that the number of actual moves is kept to a minimum and the rest is just punches and kicks. I'd argue that it's technically better because there's more of an attempt at actual wrestling, but the fact that they felt the need to protect THE GREAT KHALI of all people puts a sour taste in my mouth. Again, it's bad, but nowhere near the worst I've ever seen.

Match #3: Breaking Point

So, even though the crowd was completely dead for their SummerSlam match, WWE felt that everyone needed to see the thrilling conclusion to the Kane-Khali feud. After what Kane did to Khali's brother, the Punjabi Playboy would finally get his revenge a month later at Breaking Point in a Singapore Cane match. Would the addition of weapons make this encounter any better? It's on this list, so probably not. Let's get into this.

Kane almost immediately grabs a Singapore cane from the corner, but Khali rushes him in the corner and causes him to drop it. Khali beats down Kane in the corner before chopping him and throwing across the ring to the opposite corner. Both men grab canes and have a sword fight until Khali stumbles into Kane and knocks the cane out of his hand.

Khali lands the first cane shot, prompting Kane to roll out of the ring. Khali follows him out, only to get his leg dropkicked out from under him before Kane lands three cane shots and rolls Khali back in the ring. Three more cane shots floor Khali, prompting Kane to take the opportunity to taunt him. However, Khali grabs him by the neck and gets to his feet, only for Kane to take out his legs with more cane shots. Khali doesn't really bump, he just kind of lays down after that. Kane follows up with a low dropkick, but Khali kicks out...kind of.

Kane grabs another cane and locks in an arm lock, using the cane for added leverage. At this point, they've lost the crowd and a "BORING!" chant breaks out. The crowd was actually invested in their first match. Then they were silent for the second match. Now they're totally against the third one. How far they've fallen. Khali fights out of the hold and grabs the cane away from Kane. Khali hits Kane with the cane six times, including one that definitely catches him across the back of the neck, before Khali hits a brain chop, but Kane kicks out. Khali locks in the Vise Grip, but Kane is able to grab a cane and hit Khali three times to break the hold. Kane goes to the top rope and hits a diving cane shot, but Khali kicks out. Oh god, just f*cking end this.

Kane calls for the chokeslam, only for Ranjin Singh to run in and hit Kane with a cane. He no-sells and blocks another attempt, only to get another brain chop from Khali. Rather than go for a pin, Khali checks on his brother, leaving him open to a cane shot (a Kane shot?) Kane yanks Khali down across the ropes before finally hitting the chokeslam, which Khali gets approximately four inches off the ground. Kane makes the cover and gets the three to mercifully end the match and this trilogy.

 The Verdict

orNow this is what I was expecting from Kane vs The Great Khali. This is by far the worst of the three matches these two had. Not only are there, at most, three actual moves throughout the match, but it's about as uneventful as a weapons match can be and full of sloppiness, mostly from the Great Khali. On top of that, it goes on for way too long, which really says something. This match isn't even six minutes long, but it feels like it's twice that. The other two matches are bad but tolerable. This is borderline unwatchable. Avoid this match at all costs.

Rankings (Best to Worst)

1. Rick Rude vs Jake Roberts-WrestleMania IV
2. Too Much vs Al Snow & Head-King of the Ring 1998
3. Randy Orton vs Bray Wyatt-WrestleMania 33
4. Vampiro vs Sting-Great American Bash 2000
5. T&A vs Head Cheese-WrestleMania 2000
6. Triple H vs Sgt. Slaughter-D-Generation X: In Your House
7. Konnan vs One Man Gang-SuperBrawl VI
8. Ultimate Warrior vs Hercules-WrestleMania IV
9. Rick Rude vs Hawk-Clash of the Champions XXV
10. Shelton Benjamin vs Viscera-New Year's Revolution 2006
11. Steve McMichael vs Reggie White-Slamboree 1997
12. The Tag Team Fatal 4-Way Match-WrestleMania 13
13. Tag Team Battle Royal-WrestleMania XIV
14. The Chamber of Horrors-Halloween Havoc 1991
15. The Natural Disasters vs Money Inc.-WrestleMania VIII
16. Ivan Koloff vs Paul Jones-Clash of the Champions IV
17. ODB, Taylor Wilde, and Roxxi vs The Kongtourage-Genesis 2009
18. Ivory vs Tori-SummerSlam 1999
19. Jerry Blackwell vs Boris Zhukov-SuperClash II
20. Nikita Koloff vs Bobby Eaton-Bunkhouse Stampede
21. Alex Wright vs Steve McMichael-Halloween Havoc 1997
22. The Great Khali vs Kane-WrestleMania 23
23. Savio Vega vs Crush vs Faarooq-Ground Zero: In Your House
24. Total Divas vs Other Divas-Survivor Series 2013
25. The Oddities vs Kaientai-SummerSlam 1998
26. Hulk Hogan vs Sid Justice-WrestleMania VIII
27. Paul Ellering vs Teddy Long-Capital Combat
28. Dusty Rhodes vs Big Boss Man-Saturday Night's Main Event (10/31/1989)
29. Tyson Tomko vs Stevie Richards-Unforgiven 2004
30. Kane vs The Great Khali-SummerSlam 2009
31. Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Hog Wild
32. Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Souled Out 1997
33. Dustin Rhodes & King Kong vs Awesome Kong & The Equalizer-Battlebowl
34. Finlay & Little Bastard vs The Boogeyman & Little Boogeyman-No Way Out 2007
35. Jake Roberts vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania V
36. Yokozuna vs King Mabel-In Your House 4
37. Dusty Rhodes vs The Honky Tonk Man-SummerSlam 1989
38. Sting & Hawk vs Meng & Kurasawa-Clash of the Champions XXXI
39. Hulk Hogan vs Randy Savage-Uncensored 1998
40. Al Snow vs Big Boss Man-Unforgiven 1999
41. Mickie James vs Ashley-Royal Rumble 2006
42. Christy Hemme vs Big Fat Oily Guy-Against All Odds 2007
43. Stevie Ray vs Konnan-World War 3 1998
44. Vampiro vs The KISS Demon-Bash at the Beach 2000
45. Team WCW vs nWo Wolfpac vs nWo Hollywood-Fall Brawl 1998
46. Vampiro vs Oklahoma-Starrcade 1999
47. Hulk Hogan vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania III
48. Van Hammer vs Terrance Taylor-Clash of the Champions XVI
49. Junkyard Dog vs Moondog Spot-Wrestling Classic
50. The Undertaker vs Goldberg-Super ShowDown 2019
51. Hiroshi Wajima vs Tom Magee-All Japan Pro Wrestling 1988
52. Jim Duggan vs Big Boss Man-Royal Rumble 1990
53. Meng vs Jim Duggan-Uncensored 1995
54. Jim Steele vs The Equalizer-SuperBrawl IV
55. D-Generation X vs Brothers of Destruction-Crown Jewel
56. Wendi Richter vs Leilani Kai-WrestleMania
57. Edge vs Triple H vs Vladimir Kozlov-Survivor Series 2008
58. Kevin Sullivan vs Dave Sullivan-SuperBrawl V
59. Steve McMichael vs Brian Adams-Road Wild 1998
60. Scott Hall vs Roddy Piper-SuperBrawl IX
61. Kane vs The Great Khali-Breaking Point
62. PN News & Bobby Eaton vs Steve Austin & Terrance Taylor-Great American Bash 1991
63. Scott Steiner vs Sid Vicious vs Jeff Jarrett vs Road Warrior Animal-Sin
64. Hollywood Hogan vs Roddy Piper-SuperBrawl 1997
65. Batista vs The Great Khali-SummerSlam 2007
66.  Sable vs Tori-WrestleMania XV
67. Super Invader vs Todd Champion-WrestleWar 1992
68. King Kong Bundy & Jim Neidhart vs Yokozuna & Jake Roberts-Heroes of Wrestling
69. Sid Vicious vs The Nightstalker-Clash of the Champions XIII
70. The 8-Divas Tag Match-Survivor Series 1999
71. The Fabulous Freebirds vs The Renegade Warriors-Halloween Havoc 1990
72. The Knockouts Gauntlet-One Night Only: Live! 2016
73. Rick Rude vs Masahiro Chono-Halloween Havoc 1992
74. Mike Awesome vs Vampiro-Halloween Havoc 2000
75. Bray Wyatt vs John Cena-Extreme Rules 2014
76. Brothers of Destruction vs KroniK-Unforgiven 2001
77. Mabel vs The Undertaker-King of the Ring 1995
78. Wendi Richter vs The Fabulous Moolah-The Brawl to End it All
79. David Flair vs Kimberly Page-Mayhem 1999
80. The Truth Commission vs The Disciples of Apocolypse-Survivor Series 1997
81. The Bushwhacker vs The Fabulous Rougeaus-WrestleMania V
82. The Beverly Brothers vs The Bushwhackers-Royal Rumble 1992
83. Teddy Long vs Eric Bischoff-Survivor Series 2005
84. Greg Valentine vs George Steele-Heroes of Wrestling
85. Abdullah the Butcher vs One Man Gang-Heroes of Wrestling
86. Major Gunns vs Miss Hancock-New Blood Rising
87. Bradshaw & Trish Stratus vs Christopher Nowinski & Jackie Gayda-RAW (7/8/2002)
88. Triple H vs Scott Steiner-Royal Rumble 2003
89. Hollywood Hogan vs The Warrior-Halloween Havoc 1998
90. Mr. T vs Roddy Piper-WrestleMania 2
91. The Royal Family vs Clowns R' Us-Survivor Series 1994
92. The Blacktop Bully vs Dustin Rhodes-Uncensored 1995
93. Pat Patterson vs Gerald Brisco-King of the Ring 2000
94. The Four Doinks vs Team Bigelow-Survivor Series 1993
95. Sting vs Jeff Hardy-Victory Road 2011
96. Oz vs Tim Parker-SuperBrawl
97. Ultimate Warrior vs Andre the Giant-Saturday Night's Main Event (11/25/1989)
98. The Doomsday Cage Match-Uncensored 1996
99. Kane vs The Undertaker-Judgement Day 1998
100. Rebel vs Shelly Martinez-One Night Only: Knockouts Knockdown
101. Kaitlyn vs Maxine-NXT (10/19/2010)
102. Sabu vs The Sandman-November to Remember 1997
103. The Bushwhackers vs Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff-Heroes of Wrestling
104. James Storm vs Chris Harris-Lockdown 2007
105. John Laurinaitis vs John Cena-Over the Limit 2012
106. Ultimate Warrior vs Goldust-In Your House 7
107. Los Villanos vs Los Psycho Circus-Triplemania XXIII
108. Jenna Morasca vs Sharmell-Victory Road 2009