Man, what the fuck is WWE doing? Most people would probably agree that the pandemic era was not very kind to WWE whatsoever. That being said, outside of the Wyatt Swamp Fight, they've mostly avoided putting on truly awful matches. There have been bad matches, of course, but nothing that was straight up unwatchable. However, in the first two pay-per-views since fans were allowed back, WWE managed to have at least one trainwreck of a match on each show. WrestleMania saw Randy Orton vs Bray Wyatt, a match that featured some of the worst, most nonsensical booking WWE has put on TV over the last year, that night, and it was an early favorite for the worst match of the year. And then, just over a month later, WWE managed to top themselves with Damian Priest vs The Miz in a Lumberjack match at the stupidly named WrestleMania Backlash, which earned a negative three-star rating from Dave Meltzer and a 1.51 rating on Cagematch.net. The negative three-star rating is also the lowest rating a WWE match has gotten since 2007 with Finlay & Little Bastard vs The Boogeyman & Little Boogeyman at No Mercy. Now, on paper, this match sounds fine. Priest is a talented worker and, while's he's not great in the ring, Miz is a competent wrestler, so this should've been nothing more than unremarkable at the worst. Unfortunately, WWE needed that Zack Snyder money, I guess.
Fresh off getting his cut of the Justice League released, Zack Snyder's next big project was Army of the Dead, a zombie heist movie that also starred a former WWE wrestler in Batista. Put a big-ticket movie starring a wrestler combined with a wrestling company that is more than willing to sacrifice their roster and their product for the sake of a promotional deal, and that's how you end up with zombies at ringside. Yep, this ain't your mama's Lumberjack match, this is a Zombie Lumberjack match. Instead of wrestlers hanging around ringside to keep the action in the ring, developmental wrestlers (and Scotty 2 Hotty for some reason) dressed up as zombies roamed the outside and did zombie things. WWE really went back to the zombie well and didn't learn their lesson in 2006. And what makes it worse is that this was never billed as a Zombie Lumberjack match. Outside of a tweet from Batista and a backstage segment right before the match, there was no mention of zombies during the actual build on TV. If WWE had actually promoted this as a Zombie Lumberjack match, it wouldn't have made the match any better, but man, going in expecting an actual match and getting a glorified commercial only hurts the show. Let's get into this.
Fresh off getting his cut of the Justice League released, Zack Snyder's next big project was Army of the Dead, a zombie heist movie that also starred a former WWE wrestler in Batista. Put a big-ticket movie starring a wrestler combined with a wrestling company that is more than willing to sacrifice their roster and their product for the sake of a promotional deal, and that's how you end up with zombies at ringside. Yep, this ain't your mama's Lumberjack match, this is a Zombie Lumberjack match. Instead of wrestlers hanging around ringside to keep the action in the ring, developmental wrestlers (and Scotty 2 Hotty for some reason) dressed up as zombies roamed the outside and did zombie things. WWE really went back to the zombie well and didn't learn their lesson in 2006. And what makes it worse is that this was never billed as a Zombie Lumberjack match. Outside of a tweet from Batista and a backstage segment right before the match, there was no mention of zombies during the actual build on TV. If WWE had actually promoted this as a Zombie Lumberjack match, it wouldn't have made the match any better, but man, going in expecting an actual match and getting a glorified commercial only hurts the show. Let's get into this.
The Miz is out first with John Morrison by his side, which means we get Morrison's awesome entrance with the slow-mo. Never gets old. And speaking of great entrances, Damian Priest is out right after. Man, just end the match now, it's only going downhill from here. During the entrances, Adnan Virk mentions that this match is sponsored by Army of the Dead. Couldn't tell. Miz & Morrison converse outside the ring, which means it's zombie time.Zombies start coming from everywhere as ominous music starts playing. Over the barricade, down the ramp, from backstage, they are everywhere. There's even one under the announce table...somehow.Has he...just been hanging around down there the whole time? Was he just waiting for this match? What a polite zombie. Also, imagine being poor Adnan Virk, going from covering baseball to wrestling and, in the first month of your job, you've got to deal with this shit. Wouldn't surprise me if this is what led to him wanting to "mutually parting ways" with WWE after six weeks.
Miz gets in the ring as Morrison high tails it out of there. I don't blame him, I wouldn't want to be associated with this. The bell rings. This is actually happening. The two lock up as they try to avoid the zombies reaching into the ring. Miz forces Priest into the corner, where Preist quickly avoids being grabbed. Miz follows up with a boot to the gut before tossing Priest on the ring apron. The commentary team starts calling the match from a "safer place", which is an immediate downgrade because now I have to listen to Adnan Virk do commentary. I really don't want to rag on the guy but...man, he was bad. He got a little better by the time he left, but he's just not a good wrestling commentator. I feel bad for him because he was clearly out of his depth in the role. He probably would have been better suited as a pre-show panelist similar to what Peter Rosenberg or Sam Roberts do for pay-per-views.
Priest fights off zombies from the apron as Miz tries to dropkick Priest, only for Priest to dodge and send Miz to the outside. Miz freezes in fear before quickly returning to the ring and immediately eating a flapjack. The zombies try to drag Miz out of the ring, but Miz escapes and tosses Priest back out of the ring. Priest fights zombies at ringside, only to eat a big boot for a near fall when he gets back in the ring. Miz beats down Priest in the ring before hitting his corner clothesline, only to get dragged out of the ring. Miz crawls under the ring to avoid the zombies, only to get floored by a clothesline when he gets back in the ring. So far, the match has followed a formula of someone deals with zombies, and then immediately gets beaten up back in the ring. How do you make a match that involves (what we are supposed to believe are) actual zombies formulaic?
Priest lays into Miz with kicks, followed by a discus punch and a spin kick for a near fall. Priest follows up with a back elbow in the corner before going up top and hitting a diving spinning heel kick for a near fall. Unfortunately, that kick saw Priest land on Miz's knee, which is likely where he tore his ACL in the match. It's like karma coming for WWE for booking a match this dumb. Priest goes for a powerbomb, but Miz blocks it and locks in the Figure Four. However, the zombies manage to drag the two out of the ring, where the two take a break from wrestling and brawl with the zombies. Priest ends up encountering a giant zombie that is unfazed by punches.He is immediately fazed by a jumping kick before Priest gets back in the ring. What was the point of big guy if you aren't going to do anything with him?
Back in the ring, Miz tries to trick Priest with a fake high five, but Priest blocks the follow-up kick and hits a Falcon Arrow (which he calls the Broken Arrow) for a near fall. Priest calls for a chokeslam as John Morrison returns from the back, hitting what Corey Graves calls a Capoeira Kick before Miz hits the running high knee for a near fall. Morrison dives off the ring steps onto the zombies before hitting a jumping kick off the apron. Morrison hops up on the apron, only to get dragged down by two zombies who, based on the fact that Morrison showed up on RAW the next night completely fine, were probably telling him how much they loved him in Boone: The Bounty Hunter. Back in the ring, Priest claps Miz's head and delivers Hit the Lights, a rolling cutter (i.e. Cross Rhodes) for the three and the win. Priest quickly escapes the ring as zombies swarm Miz.This means that, based on the fact that Miz has also appeared on RAW since this match, that the zombies just kind of crawled on top of him and told him all about how much better the Marine films were when he took the lead role. Priest shoots an imaginary arrow at the Megatron above the ring, which brings up the Army of the Dead logo.So yeah, we can all blame Zack Snyder for this.
The Verdict
What a dumb thing that was. I get that wrestling is inherently dumb and you have to suspend disbelief to enjoy it. Hell, if we're being honest, the Undertaker, one of the most legendary wrestlers in the history of the business, is pretty much a zombie that is also a wizard. Wrestling is goofy as shit. However, it's one thing for a wrestler to have a wacky, outlandish gimmick, and another to have something wacky & outlandish happen on the show. This isn't bad because it's wacky, it's bad because it's wacky with no benefit to anyone. The zombies aren't coming back after this. All this was a blatant advertisement for a movie and didn't help anyone on the roster.
That's probably the worst thing about it too. If you take away the zombies and just have Damian Priest vs The Miz in a normal Lumberjack match...the match is perfectly fine. Yeah, it's not anything you'd need to go out of your way and see, and it would still probably be the weakest match on the WrestleMania Backlash card (to be fair, though, WrestleMania Backlash was probably the best top-to-bottom show WWE has put on since the pandemic started), but it would still be a solid match. Honestly, it would be the best match in the series if the zombies weren't there. But alas, they are there, so that knocks it down a few pegs.
Rankings (Best to Worst)
- Rick Rude vs Jake Roberts-WrestleMania IV
- Too Much vs Al Snow & Head-King of the Ring 1998
- Brock Lesnar vs Roman Reigns-Greatest Royal Rumble
- Ernest Miller vs Norman Smiley-Fall Brawl 1998
- Shane McMahon vs Eric Bischoff-SummerSlam 2003
- The Tag Team Gauntlet-Extreme Rules 2010
- Randy Orton vs Bray Wyatt-WrestleMania 33
- Vampiro vs Sting-Great American Bash 2000
- T&A vs Head Cheese-WrestleMania 2000
- Triple H vs Sgt. Slaughter-D-Generation X: In Your House
- Konnan vs One Man Gang-SuperBrawl VI
- Ultimate Warrior vs Hercules-WrestleMania IV
- Rick Rude vs Hawk-Clash of the Champions XXV
- Shelton Benjamin vs Viscera-New Year's Revolution 2006
- Steve McMichael vs Reggie White-Slamboree 1997
- Lars Sullivan vs Lucha House Party-Super Showdown 2019
- Alexa Bliss vs Bayley-Extreme Rules 2017
- The Tag Team Fatal 4-Way Match-WrestleMania 13
- Tag Team Battle Royal-WrestleMania XIV
- The Chamber of Horrors-Halloween Havoc 1991
- The Natural Disasters vs Money Inc.-WrestleMania VIII
- Ivan Koloff vs Paul Jones-Clash of the Champions IV
- ODB, Taylor Wilde, and Roxxi vs The Kongtourage-Genesis 2009
- Kazushi Sakuraba & Yuji Nagata vs Daniel & Rolles Gracie-Wrestle Kingdom 8
- Ivory vs Tori-SummerSlam 1999
- Giant Baba vs Bulldog Bob Brown-WrestleRock
- The Reverse Battle Royal-Impact! (10/26/2006)
- Jerry Blackwell vs Boris Zhukov-SuperClash II
- Nikita Koloff vs Bobby Eaton-Bunkhouse Stampede
- Alex Wright vs Steve McMichael-Halloween Havoc 1997
- The Great Khali vs Kane-WrestleMania 23
- Savio Vega vs Crush vs Faarooq-Ground Zero: In Your House
- The Shockmaster vs Awesome/King Kong-Starrcade 1993
- Total Divas vs Other Divas-Survivor Series 2013
- The Oddities vs Kaientai-SummerSlam 1998
- Hulk Hogan vs Sid Justice-WrestleMania VIII
- Paul Ellering vs Teddy Long-Capital Combat
- Dusty Rhodes vs Big Boss Man-Saturday Night's Main Event (10/31/1989)
- Konnan vs Scott Hall-Fall Brawl 1998
- Damian Priest vs The Miz-WrestleMania Backlash
- Tyson Tomko vs Stevie Richards-Unforgiven 2004
- Kane vs The Great Khali-SummerSlam 2009
- Rick Steiner vs Scott Steiner-Fall Brawl 1998
- Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Hog Wild
- Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Souled Out 1997
- Dustin Rhodes & King Kong vs Awesome Kong & The Equalizer-Battlebowl
- Finlay & Little Bastard vs The Boogeyman & Little Boogeyman-No Way Out 2007
- Jake Roberts vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania V
- El Gigante vs Nailz-G1 Climax 1994 (Day 1)
- Yokozuna vs King Mabel-In Your House 4
- Dusty Rhodes vs The Honky Tonk Man-SummerSlam 1989
- Sting & Hawk vs Meng & Kurasawa-Clash of the Champions XXXI
- Hulk Hogan vs Randy Savage-Uncensored 1998
- Al Snow vs Big Boss Man-Unforgiven 1999
- Mickie James vs Ashley-Royal Rumble 2006
- Antonio Inoki vs The Great Antonio-NJPW Sumo Hall Show (12/8/1977)
- Christy Hemme vs Big Fat Oily Guy-Against All Odds 2007
- British Bulldog & Jim Neidhart vs The Dancing Fools-Fall Brawl 1998
- Stevie Ray vs Konnan-World War 3 1998
- Vampiro vs The KISS Demon-Bash at the Beach 2000
- Team WCW vs nWo Wolfpac vs nWo Hollywood-Fall Brawl 1998
- Vampiro vs Oklahoma-Starrcade 1999
- Big Swole vs Penelope Ford, Rebel, and Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D.-AEW Dynamite (8/27/2020)
- Hulk Hogan vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania III
- Jinder Mahal vs Randy Orton-Battleground 2017
- Van Hammer vs Terrance Taylor-Clash of the Champions XVI
- Junkyard Dog vs Moondog Spot-Wrestling Classic
- Chris Jericho vs "Goldberg"-Fall Brawl 1998
- Roman Reigns vs The Undertaker-WrestleMania 33
- The Undertaker vs Goldberg-Super ShowDown 2019
- Hiroshi Wajima vs Tom Magee-All Japan Pro Wrestling 1988
- Jim Duggan vs Big Boss Man-Royal Rumble 1990
- Meng vs Jim Duggan-Uncensored 1995
- Jim Steele vs The Equalizer-SuperBrawl IV
- The Undertaker vs Giant González-WrestleMania IX
- Sting vs Tony Palmore-Battle 7
- D-Generation X vs Brothers of Destruction-Crown Jewel
- Wendi Richter vs Leilani Kai-WrestleMania
- Goldberg vs Brock Lesnar-WrestleMania XX
- Edge vs Triple H vs Vladimir Kozlov-Survivor Series 2008
- Kevin Sullivan vs Dave Sullivan-SuperBrawl V
- Steve McMichael vs Brian Adams-Road Wild 1998
- Scott Hall vs Roddy Piper-SuperBrawl IX
- Boris Zhukov vs Paul Samson-Beach Brawl
- Roddy Piper vs Hollywood Hogan-Halloween Havoc 1997
- Kane vs The Great Khali-Breaking Point
- Hollywood Hogan & Dennis Rodman vs Diamond Dallas Page & Karl Malone-Bash at the Beach 1998
- PN News & Bobby Eaton vs Steve Austin & Terrance Taylor-Great American Bash 1991
- Scott Steiner vs Sid Vicious vs Jeff Jarrett vs Road Warrior Animal-Sin
- Hollywood Hogan vs Roddy Piper-SuperBrawl 1997
- Batista vs The Great Khali-SummerSlam 2007
- Sting vs Hollywood Hogan-Starrcade 1997
- Sable vs Tori-WrestleMania XV
- Super Invader vs Todd Champion-WrestleWar 1992
- Brock Lesnar vs Cain Velasquez-Crown Jewel 2019
- King Kong Bundy & Jim Neidhart vs Yokozuna & Jake Roberts-Heroes of Wrestling
- Sid Vicious vs The Nightstalker-Clash of the Champions XIII
- The 8-Divas Tag Match-Survivor Series 1999
- The Fabulous Freebirds vs The Renegade Warriors-Halloween Havoc 1990
- The Knockouts Gauntlet-One Night Only: Live! 2016
- AJ Styles vs Frank Trigg-No Surrender 2008
- Rick Rude vs Masahiro Chono-Halloween Havoc 1992
- Mike Awesome vs Vampiro-Halloween Havoc 2000
- Bray Wyatt vs John Cena-Extreme Rules 2014
- Brothers of Destruction vs KroniK-Unforgiven 2001
- The Miss WrestleMania Battle Royal-WrestleMania 25
- Mabel vs The Undertaker-King of the Ring 1995
- Wendi Richter vs The Fabulous Moolah-The Brawl to End it All
- David Flair vs Kimberly Page-Mayhem 1999
- The Truth Commission vs The Disciples of Apocolypse-Survivor Series 1997
- Daffney vs Miss Hancock-Bash at the Beach 2000
- The Bushwhacker vs The Fabulous Rougeaus-WrestleMania V
- Randy Orton vs "The Fiend" Bray Wyatt-WrestleMania 37
- The Beverly Brothers vs The Bushwhackers-Royal Rumble 1992
- Teddy Long vs Eric Bischoff-Survivor Series 2005
- Greg Valentine vs George Steele-Heroes of Wrestling
- Abdullah the Butcher vs One Man Gang-Heroes of Wrestling
- Major Gunns vs Miss Hancock-New Blood Rising
- Bradshaw & Trish Stratus vs Christopher Nowinski & Jackie Gayda-RAW (7/8/2002)
- Triple H vs Scott Steiner-Royal Rumble 2003
- Goldberg vs "The Fiend" Bray Wyatt-Super ShowDown 2020
- Santina Marella vs Vickie & Chavo Guerrero-Extreme Rules 2009
- Kevin Nash vs Scott Steiner vs Goldberg-New Blood Rising
- Hollywood Hogan vs The Warrior-Halloween Havoc 1998
- Mr. T vs Roddy Piper-WrestleMania 2
- The Royal Family vs Clowns R' Us-Survivor Series 1994
- The House of Horrors Match-Payback 2017
- The Blacktop Bully vs Dustin Rhodes-Uncensored 1995
- Team Dos Caras vs Team El Canek-Leyendas Mexicanas 2017
- Pat Patterson vs Gerald Brisco-King of the Ring 2000
- The Wyatt Swamp Fight-The Horror Show at Extreme Rules
- The Four Doinks vs Team Bigelow-Survivor Series 1993
- Sting vs Jeff Hardy-Victory Road 2011
- Bret Hart vs Mr. McMahon-WrestleMania XVI
- Oz vs Tim Parker-SuperBrawl
- Brock Lesnar vs Braun Strowman-Crown Jewel 2018
- Brock Lesnar vs Ricochet-Super ShowDown 2020
- The Mighty Maccabee vs The Iron Sheik-Maccabiah Mania II: Shekel Slam
- Van Hammer vs Doug Somers-Halloween Havoc 1991
- Ultimate Warrior vs Andre the Giant-Saturday Night's Main Event (11/25/1989)
- Jeff Jarrett vs Sting-Halloween Havoc 2000
- The Doomsday Cage Match-Uncensored 1996
- Kane vs The Undertaker-Judgement Day 1998
- Rebel vs Shelly Martinez-One Night Only: Knockouts Knockdown
- Kaitlyn vs Maxine-NXT (10/19/2010)
- Sabu vs The Sandman-November to Remember 1997
- Seth Rollins vs "The Fiend" Bray Wyatt-Hell in a Cell 2019
- Michael Cole vs Jerry Lawler-WrestleMania XXVII
- The Bushwhackers vs Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff-Heroes of Wrestling
- James Storm vs Chris Harris-Lockdown 2007
- John Laurinaitis vs John Cena-Over the Limit 2012
- Hulk Hogan vs The Giant-Halloween Havoc 1995
- Ultimate Warrior vs Goldust-In Your House 7
- Los Villanos vs Los Psycho Circus-Triplemania XXIII
- Jenna Morasca vs Sharmell-Victory Road 2009
Thanks for reading! Be sure to share if you enjoy and leave any suggestions for matches you'd like to see covered in the Worst in the World in the comments. Next time, I'm going back to WrestleMania 37 and looking at the match that barely escaped the worst of the show thanks to Randy Orton and Bray Wyatt. Until then...
Hey, coming in with another idea. Many of the matches we remember as being absolutely terrible tend to be on PPV, since they are higher profile and obviously people pay money to watch. However, after digging around, there have been some absolutely terrible matches put on regular TV, especially back in 2000 for WCW. I know you'd always remark of "No wonder this company went out of business" during some of the crappy 90s matches for WCW, but man, some of the shit they put on Nitro absolutely SUCKED in 2000. Here are a few matches/dates that come to mind:
ReplyDeleteJune 5th, 2000: The show as a whole was abysmal, possibly one of the worst televised shows in history, with two standouts being Vince Russo vs Ric Flair in a Steel Cage match and then a Gauntlet match with Kevin Nash. Other matches on the card were REALLY bad as well, but those two stick out.
September 25th, 2000: Vince Russo vs Booker T. In a Steel Cage. For the WCW World Heavyweight Title. Yup.
I am certain there are other truly terrible matches from this time on Nitro, but these are the ones I am currently aware exist.
Thanks for the suggestions! All of those are more than deserving of spots in the series. I'll get to work on those once I've posted the other matches I have on tap
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