Worst in the World: Kane vs The Undertaker-Judgement Day 1998

The Undertaker vs Kane: One of the WWE's greatest rivalries...if you never watch the matches. The backstory of the Undertaker and Kane's rivalry is great, but they could never live up to the level of the storytelling in the ring, almost always putting on a slow, plodding match. Some might point to the Brothers of Destruction's horrendous rivalry in 2010 where they stank up three straight pay-per-views, one of which was the main event, as the worst matches they ever had, but today, I take a look at their matchup at Judgement Day 1998 for the vacant WWF Championship. How did this come about? 

Well, WWF Champion Stone Cold Steve Austin lost the belt at Breakdown in a Triple Threat match with Taker and Kane where Taker & Kane could not pin each other. Sounds a little over complicated and has "shenanigans" written all over it? Well, it was. Taker & Kane pinned Austin at the same time, forcing the WWF to vacate the title and put it on the line at Judgement Day, with special guest referee Stone Cold Steve Austin. However, to avoid Austin disrupting the flow of the company and to embarrass him, Mr. McMahon threatened to fire him if he didn't count the three and raised the hand of the winner. Man, this really made the title feel like an afterthought. The main appeal of the match was less "Who's gonna be WWF Champion" and more "Will Stone Cold count the pin." Even on the promo card, Austin is in the center like he's the most important.

Well, at least they never put the focus on someone else instead of the title in a major title match like this again:

God dammit. Let's just get into this.

So, just to get over what the most important part of this match is, guess who comes out last? One of the people fighting for the WWF Championship? Nope, the referee does. I know it's Stone Cold, but that doesn't change the fact that he's the referee and not competing for the biggest prize in the company. Austin flips off both Kane and Taker before ringing the bell. Taker takes control to start with punches before hitting Old School. This happens one minute into the match. Psychology.

Kane is able to fight back and starts punching away at Taker before hitting a powerslam. Taker regains control and hits a clothesline. He makes the cover, but Austin doesn't count. Although to be fair, did anyone really think Taker would get the win off a clothesline? Taker scolds Austin in the corner, which allows Kane to take down Taker with something off camera because "Dammit Kevin Dunn." Oddly enough, Austin fast counts this pin, getting a quick two before Taker kicks out. Considering the ending of this match, this makes zero sense.

The match spills to the outside where they slowly brawl until Taker grabs a chair. Kane dodges the chair shot and slams Taker into a ring post. Back in the ring, Kane no sells a suplex before the two do...something:

I can't for the life of me actual tell what they were going for. Whatever it was, they earned a "you f*cked up" chant for it. They re-do the spot, this time with Taker going over the shoulder and landing on his feet before working over Kane's left leg. Taker locks in a kneebar of sorts before smashing Kane's knee into the ring apron. Taker continues to work over Kane's left leg until Kane is able to kick his way out and hit a sidewalk slam and an elbow drop. This is so boring.

Taker dodges a big boot attempt and chop blocks Kane's leg, allowing him to lock in another leglock. Taker continues to work over the leg for (and I'm not joking when I say this) almost 4 STRAIGHT MINUTES, Taker changes up his game and does a CHOKE SPOT!AND THAT GOES ON FOR ALMOST MINUTE TOO! F*CK. THIS. MATCH! 

So after 5 STRAIGHT MINUTES of Undertaker being on offense, Kane catches him on a Stinger Splash attempt and hits a spinebuster. Kane follows that up with a clothesline and starts punching away at Taker into the corner. Kane reverses an Irish whip attempt and sends Taker into Austin in the corner. Kane then follows this up with a chokeslam. A couple of things:

1. That's a DQ. Austin could've just disqualified him.
2. Why would Kane chokeslam Austin? He had clearly shown favoritism towards Kane in the match by fast counting for Kane and not counting at all for Taker. Makes the opposite of sense.
3. Now who's gonna count the pin? Stupid idiot...

So Taker & Kane stomp away at Austin before Taker blindsides Kane. Kane reverses another Irish whip and hits a Chokeslam on Taker, despite, you know, having his leg battered for four straight minutes. Great selling. Outcomes Paul Bearer with a chair to hit the Undertaker for Kane, only to hit Kane when his back is turned. Kane no sells and goes after Bearer, only to later eat a nasty chair shot to the head from Taker. Taker makes the cover, but Austin refuses to count the pin and hits the Stunner on Taker before blasting him with the chair. Austin counts both men down and announces himself as the winner.

After the match, Austin heads to the back to find McMahon. He can't find him, so he comes back out, only for the Titantron to move out of the way, revealing McMahon behind glass with the Big Bossman. Some accurate dude throws his jacket at McMahon and hits him right in the head. McMahon keeps his promise and fires Stone Cold as more people throw stuff at him. Austin says mcMahon has seen the last of Stone Cold. Why am I talking about this if it's not part of the match? Because it was. This was the payoff to the match. Not who became WWF Champion, but what happened to Stone Cold.

The Verdict

Awful. Just the absolute pits. The match was so slow-paced and boring. The crowd was completely dead for the majority of the match and nobody cared at all. Not to mention that main focus of the match was not the biggest prize in the company, but the guy who was acting as referee. Kane & Undertaker didn't even factor into the post-match stuff, it was all about the Austin-McMahon feud. This is among the worst matches I've ever seen, hands down.

Rankings (Best to Worst)

1. Too Much vs Al Snow & Head-King of the Ring 1998
2. Vampiro vs Sting-Great American Bash 2000
3. T&A vs Head Cheese-WrestleMania 2000
4. Triple H vs Sgt. Slaughter-D-Generation X: In Your House
5. Konnan vs One Man Gang-SuperBrawl VI
6. Ultimate Warrior vs Hercules-WrestleMania IV
7. Rick Rude vs Hawk-Clash of the Champions XXV
8. Shelton Benjamin vs Viscera-New Year's Revolution 2006
9. The Chamber of Horrors-Halloween Havoc 1991
10. The Natural Disasters vs Money Inc.-WrestleMania VIII
11. ODB, Taylor Wilde, and Roxxi vs The Kongtourage-Genesis 2009
12. Ivory vs Tori-SummerSlam 1999
13. Nikita Koloff vs Bobby Eaton-Bunkhouse Stampede
14. Total Divas vs Other Divas-Survivor Series 2013
15. The Oddities vs Kaientai-SummerSlam 1998
16. Hulk Hogan vs Sid Justice-WrestleMania VIII
17. Paul Ellering vs Teddy Long-Capital Combat
18. Dusty Rhodes vs Big Boss Man-Saturday Night's Main Event (10/31/1989)
19. Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Hog Wild
20. Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Souled Out 1997
21. Dustin Rhodes & King Kong vs Awesome Kong & The Equalizer-Battlebowl
22. Finlay & Little Bastard vs The Boogeyman & Little Boogeyman-No Way Out 2007
23. Jake Roberts vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania V
24. Yokozuna vs King Mabel-In Your House 4
25. Sting & Hawk vs Meng & Kurasawa-Clash of the Champions XXXI
26. Hulk Hogan vs Randy Savage-Uncensored 1998
27. Al Snow vs Big Boss Man-Unforgiven 1999
28. Mickie James vs Ashley-Royal Rumble 2006
29. Christy Hemme vs Big Fat Oily Guy-Against All Odds 2007
30. Team WCW vs nWo Wolfpac vs nWo Hollywood-Fall Brawl 1998
31. Vampiro vs Oklahoma-Starrcade 1999
32. Hulk Hogan vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania III
33. Junkyard Dog vs Moondog Spot-Wrestling Classic
34. Hiroshi Wajima vs Tom Magee-All Japan Pro Wrestling 1988
35. Jim Steele vs The Equalizer-SuperBrawl IV
36. Edge vs Triple H vs Vladimir Kozlov-Survivor Series 2008
37. Kevin Sullivan vs Dave Sullivan-SuperBrawl V
38. Steve McMichael vs Brian Adams-Road Wild 1998
39. Scott Hall vs Roddy Piper-SuperBrawl IX
40. PN News & Bobby Eaton vs Steve Austin & Terrance Taylor-Great American Bash 1991
41. Scott Steiner vs Sid Vicious vs Jeff Jarrett vs Road Warrior Animal-Sin
42. Hollywood Hogan vs Roddy Piper-SuperBrawl 1997
43. Batista vs The Great Khali-SummerSlam 2007
44.  Sable vs Tori-WrestleMania XV
45. Sid Vicious vs The Nightstalker-Clash of the Champions XIII
46. The 8-Divas Tag Match-Survivor Series 1999
47. The Fabulous Freebirds vs The Renegade Warriors-Halloween Havoc 1990
48. Rick Rude vs Masahiro Chono-Halloween Havoc 1992
49. Mike Awesome vs Vampiro-Halloween Havoc 2000
50. Bray Wyatt vs John Cena-Extreme Rules 2014
51. Mabel vs The Undertaker-King of the Ring 1995
52. Wendi Richter vs The Fabulous Moolah-The Brawl to End it All
53. David Flair vs Kimberly Page-Mayhem 1999
54. The Truth Commission vs The Disciples of Apocolypse-Survivor Series 1997
55. Teddy Long vs Eric Bischoff-Survivor Series 2005
56. Greg Valentine vs George Steele-Heroes of Wrestling
57. Abdullah the Butcher vs One Man Gang-Heroes of Wrestling
58. Hollywood Hogan vs The Warrior-Halloween Havoc 1998
59. Mr. T vs Roddy Piper-WrestleMania 2
60. The Royal Family vs Clowns R' Us-Survivor Series 1994
61. The Blacktop Bully vs Dustin Rhodes-Uncensored 1995
62. Sting vs Jeff Hardy-Victory Road 2011
63. Oz vs Tim Parker-SuperBrawl
64. Ultimate Warrior vs Andre the Giant-Saturday Night's Main Event (11/25/1989)
65. The Doomsday Cage Match-Uncensored 1996
66. Kane vs The Undertaker-Judgement Day 1998
67. Kaitlyn vs Maxine-NXT (10/19/10)
68. Sabu vs The Sandman-November to Remember 1997
69. James Storm vs Chris Harris-Lockdown 2007
70. John Laurinaitis vs John Cena-Over the Limit 2012
71. Ultimate Warrior vs Goldust-In Your House 7
72. Los Villanos vs Los Psycho Circus-Triplemania XXIII
73. Jenna Morasca vs Sharmell-Victory Road 2009

And up next is...

AW F*CK! Well, I guess the Bushwhackers were going to pop up eventually.

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