Worst in the World: Michael Cole vs Jerry Lawler-WrestleMania XXVII

Special thanks to Otter Empire for suggesting this match. If you'd like to see a match covered on the Worst in the World, leave a comment down below.

Heel Michael Cole. Just writing that probably elicits all kinds of negative emotions from you. During the first season of the original NXT, WWE decided to turn Michael Cole from the straight & narrow regular babyface commentator to a cocky, arrogant, annoying heel, constantly running down fan-favorite Daniel Bryan and cheerleading for The Miz. That heel persona would translate over to RAW where he became the spokesman for the Annonymous General Manager who would communicate through a laptop, another terrible idea from WWE. It was a truly awful time to be alive. Now, a heel commentator in itself is not bad. Many commentators have done this successfully in the past, including Cole's longtime partner Jerry Lawler. The difference between Lawler doing it and Cole doing was that Lawler was the color commentator. Lawler could heel it up all he wanted because his job wasn't to actually call the match, his job is to spice things up in between the action. Conversely, Cole was the play-by-play commentator, meaning there was no one to just call the match when Cole was behind the desk. If Jim Ross couldn't make heel play-by-play work, then nobody could. Cole's heel schtick made RAW's commentary absolutely insufferable for nearly three full years, with Cole only reverting back to a babyface following Jerry Lawler's real-life heart attack on RAW in 2012. To this day, Heel Michael Cole is generally regarded as one of WWE's worst ideas ever, and he was awarded a slew of negative awards including Worst Gimmick and Worst Announcer twice from the Wrestling Observer Newsletter, and the Gooker Award from WrestleCrap. However, Cole's worst crime is easily his feud with Jerry Lawler.

Lawler & Cole's feud first began when Cole interfered in Lawler's WWE Championship TLC match against the Miz, allowing Miz to retain the title. The feud would escalate for months, with Cole insulting Lawler's recently deceased mother before a WrestleMania XXVII match was made between the two, with Stone Cold Steve Austin being named the special guest referee after taking out Cole's choice in JBL. This is Jerry Lawler's only WrestleMania match. And boy is it something. On an already lackluster WrestleMania card, Cole & Lawler managed to set the bar so low that James Cameron couldn't even raise it. Let's get into this.

Cole's out first, interrupting Jim Ross' entrance as the guest commentator before insulting him, saying his ego is second only to Lawler's. Cole continues to run down Lawler and Ross before saying that after tonight, he'll be known as the new Mr. WrestleMania. Cole's trainer Jack Swagger is out next, only for his entrance push-ups to be cut off by Stone Cold and his ATV. Austin nearly commits vehicular manslaughter on Swagger before riding around ringside.

At this time, Cole takes this opportunity to lock himself in his personal commentary booth, the Cole Mine.

Lawler makes his way down to the ring as Cole refuses to leave the Cole Mine, warming up before Austin just rings the bell. Lawler quickly takes out Swagger as Cole pleads with Lawler. Cole extends a hand through a hole in the Cole Mine...and Lawler accepts! Awesome, match is over.

The Verdict

No, of course not. Lawler slams Cole into the Cole Mine wall repeatedly before pulling him into the wall, giving us this face from Cole:

Lawler enters the booth, beating down Cole before dragging him out and throwing him into the Annonymous General Manager's laptop stand. Lawler throws Cole in the ring, which gets Austin's attention as Swagger recovers and rams Lawler into the ring apron. Cole hits a baseball slide and distracts Austin again, allowing Swagger to briefly lock in the Ankle Lock to soften him up. Cole demands Austin count Lawler out, which Austin nonchalantly obliges. Lawler makes it back in the ring, where Cole stands on his injured ankle. And by "stands" I mean he clearly puts all his weight on the ropes and none on Lawler's ankle.

Cole continues to slowly work the ankle for nearly TWO FULL MINUTES as the crowd chants "YOU CAN'T WRESTLE" at him. I mean...they aren't wrong. In the only kind of funny moment from the match, Cole goes for a Swagger Bomb, only instead of jumping up to the second rope and back down for a splash, he climbs to the second rope, stumbles for awhile, steps down to the first rope and hits the splash for a near fall. Obviously, that didn't win the match, he didn't hit it from the second rope (the most dangerous rope.) Cole goes back to slowly working the ankle before switching ankles...for some reason. 

Cole pulls one strap of his singlet down to mock Lawler before locking in an Ankle Lock. Lawler is able to roll over and break the hold before stomping a mudhole in Cole, to which Austin slow counts. Swagger decides to throw in the towel for Cole at this point, mercifully putting an end to this awful match.

The Verdict

Again...no. Austin uses to the towel to wipe himself down as Swagger gets in the ring, demanding the match ends. Austin gives him a Stunner for his troubles before Cole begs Austin to end the match. Austin won't budge, so Cole shoves him. Austin shoves back, sending Cole right into a punch from Lawler. Lawler lands some more punches before beating down Cole on the mat. Cole begs for mercy, to which Lawler responds with a dropkick that legitimately knocked out one of Cole's teeth. Lawler goes to the second rope (again, the most dangerous rope), lowers his singlet strap, and drops the fist. Lawler makes the cover...but pulls Cole off the mat at two. Lawler decides to finish Cole off with an ankle lock, which Cole taps to immediately, only for Austin to let Lawler keep the hold locked in for a good 20 seconds before finally calling for the bell, prolonging this abomination for even longer. Swagger carries Cole to the back as Austin & Lawler celebrate with a beer bash before Booker T leaves the commentary booth to join them. Booker does the Spinarooni and earns a beer from Austin, only to eat a Stunner for his troubles. Austin & Lawler celebrate to finally end the segment.

The Verdict

DING. DING, DING. The Annonymous General Manager chimes in as the crowd boos. Josh Matthews leaves the announce table to read the email, saying that due to Austin's interference in the match, Jerry Lawler has been disqualified and Michael Cole is the winner. All of that. Nine minutes of entrances and Cole's promo, almost 14 minutes wrestling, and over three minutes of celebrating. 26 minutes...just so Cole can win and this was all for nothing. F*ck me. Cole & Swagger celebrate as Lawler & Austin confront Matthews, with Austin so upset he throws a full can of beer on the ground. I've never seen Austin waste beer like that, that's how serious that is. Lawler & Austin decide to shoot the messenger as Lawler throws Matthews into the ring so Austin can give him a Stunner. Austin grabs some beers and rolls off on his ATV as Lawler takes his seat back on commentary, finally putting an end to this.

The Verdict (for real, this time)

What a pile of sh*t. Pure, unadulterated sh*t. Nothing about this match is redeemable whatsoever. The wrestling was almost non-existent. There were five actual moves done the entire match, the Ankle Lock, the Swagger Bomb, a fist drop, a dropkick, and the Stunner. The Stunner was done by Austin, who was not actual wrestling, the Swagger Bomb was a joke and not meant to be taken seriously here, and the Ankle Lock and fist drop aren't exactly moves you need to train for years to be able to pull off, so really, there was one move. Everything else was punches, kicks, or Cole poorly pretending to stand on Lawler's ankle. To top it all off, the finish is remarkably bad. Why? Why did they feel they needed to prolong this feud? Nobody cared about this...at all. Even when Cole's cutting his pre-match promo, the crowd seems more apathetic than genuinely invested. 26 minutes this whole thing went with entrances, the match, and the post-match combined, and all 26 minutes were terrible. I don't know how Dave Meltzer could sit there and not only not give this match a negative star rating, but give it one star. This is easily below zero for me. I don't think it's too controversial to call this the worst match in the history of WrestleMania, but is it the worst match of all time...no. This is definitely the worst WrestleMania match I've ever seen, and I'd even put it in the top 10 worst matches period, but looking back at everything I've already reviewed, there's still a good few matches worse than this. 

Rankings (Best to Worst)

1. Rick Rude vs Jake Roberts-WrestleMania IV
2. Too Much vs Al Snow & Head-King of the Ring 1998
3. Randy Orton vs Bray Wyatt-WrestleMania 33
4. Vampiro vs Sting-Great American Bash 2000
5. T&A vs Head Cheese-WrestleMania 2000
6. Triple H vs Sgt. Slaughter-D-Generation X: In Your House
7. Konnan vs One Man Gang-SuperBrawl VI
8. Ultimate Warrior vs Hercules-WrestleMania IV
9. Rick Rude vs Hawk-Clash of the Champions XXV
10. Shelton Benjamin vs Viscera-New Year's Revolution 2006
11. Steve McMichael vs Reggie White-Slamboree 1997
12. The Tag Team Fatal 4-Way Match-WrestleMania 13
13. Tag Team Battle Royal-WrestleMania XIV
14. The Chamber of Horrors-Halloween Havoc 1991
15. The Natural Disasters vs Money Inc.-WrestleMania VIII
16. Ivan Koloff vs Paul Jones-Clash of the Champions IV
17. ODB, Taylor Wilde, and Roxxi vs The Kongtourage-Genesis 2009
18. Ivory vs Tori-SummerSlam 1999
19. The Reverse Battle Royal-Impact! (10/26/2006)
20. Jerry Blackwell vs Boris Zhukov-SuperClash II
21. Nikita Koloff vs Bobby Eaton-Bunkhouse Stampede
22. Alex Wright vs Steve McMichael-Halloween Havoc 1997
23. The Great Khali vs Kane-WrestleMania 23
24. Savio Vega vs Crush vs Faarooq-Ground Zero: In Your House
25. Total Divas vs Other Divas-Survivor Series 2013
26. The Oddities vs Kaientai-SummerSlam 1998
27. Hulk Hogan vs Sid Justice-WrestleMania VIII
28. Paul Ellering vs Teddy Long-Capital Combat
29. Dusty Rhodes vs Big Boss Man-Saturday Night's Main Event (10/31/1989)
30. Tyson Tomko vs Stevie Richards-Unforgiven 2004
31. Kane vs The Great Khali-SummerSlam 2009
32. Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Hog Wild
33. Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Souled Out 1997
34. Dustin Rhodes & King Kong vs Awesome Kong & The Equalizer-Battlebowl
35. Finlay & Little Bastard vs The Boogeyman & Little Boogeyman-No Way Out 2007
36. Jake Roberts vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania V
37. Yokozuna vs King Mabel-In Your House 4
38. Dusty Rhodes vs The Honky Tonk Man-SummerSlam 1989
39. Sting & Hawk vs Meng & Kurasawa-Clash of the Champions XXXI
40. Hulk Hogan vs Randy Savage-Uncensored 1998
41. Al Snow vs Big Boss Man-Unforgiven 1999
42. Mickie James vs Ashley-Royal Rumble 2006
43. Christy Hemme vs Big Fat Oily Guy-Against All Odds 2007
44. Stevie Ray vs Konnan-World War 3 1998
45. Vampiro vs The KISS Demon-Bash at the Beach 2000
46. Team WCW vs nWo Wolfpac vs nWo Hollywood-Fall Brawl 1998
47. Vampiro vs Oklahoma-Starrcade 1999
48. Hulk Hogan vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania III
49. Van Hammer vs Terrance Taylor-Clash of the Champions XVI
50. Junkyard Dog vs Moondog Spot-Wrestling Classic
51. The Undertaker vs Goldberg-Super ShowDown 2019
52. Hiroshi Wajima vs Tom Magee-All Japan Pro Wrestling 1988
53. Jim Duggan vs Big Boss Man-Royal Rumble 1990
54. Meng vs Jim Duggan-Uncensored 1995
55. Jim Steele vs The Equalizer-SuperBrawl IV
56. Sting vs Tony Palmore-Battle 7
57. D-Generation X vs Brothers of Destruction-Crown Jewel
58. Wendi Richter vs Leilani Kai-WrestleMania
59. Edge vs Triple H vs Vladimir Kozlov-Survivor Series 2008
60. Kevin Sullivan vs Dave Sullivan-SuperBrawl V
61. Steve McMichael vs Brian Adams-Road Wild 1998
62. Scott Hall vs Roddy Piper-SuperBrawl IX
63. Kane vs The Great Khali-Breaking Point
64. PN News & Bobby Eaton vs Steve Austin & Terrance Taylor-Great American Bash 1991
65. Scott Steiner vs Sid Vicious vs Jeff Jarrett vs Road Warrior Animal-Sin
66. Hollywood Hogan vs Roddy Piper-SuperBrawl 1997
67. Batista vs The Great Khali-SummerSlam 2007
68.  Sable vs Tori-WrestleMania XV
69. Super Invader vs Todd Champion-WrestleWar 1992
70. King Kong Bundy & Jim Neidhart vs Yokozuna & Jake Roberts-Heroes of Wrestling
71. Sid Vicious vs The Nightstalker-Clash of the Champions XIII
72. The 8-Divas Tag Match-Survivor Series 1999
73. The Fabulous Freebirds vs The Renegade Warriors-Halloween Havoc 1990
74. The Knockouts Gauntlet-One Night Only: Live! 2016
75. AJ Styles vs Frank Trigg-No Surrender 2008
76. Rick Rude vs Masahiro Chono-Halloween Havoc 1992
77. Mike Awesome vs Vampiro-Halloween Havoc 2000
78. Bray Wyatt vs John Cena-Extreme Rules 2014
79. Brothers of Destruction vs KroniK-Unforgiven 2001
80. Mabel vs The Undertaker-King of the Ring 1995
81. Wendi Richter vs The Fabulous Moolah-The Brawl to End it All
82. David Flair vs Kimberly Page-Mayhem 1999
83. The Truth Commission vs The Disciples of Apocolypse-Survivor Series 1997
84. The Bushwhacker vs The Fabulous Rougeaus-WrestleMania V
85. The Beverly Brothers vs The Bushwhackers-Royal Rumble 1992
86. Teddy Long vs Eric Bischoff-Survivor Series 2005
87. Greg Valentine vs George Steele-Heroes of Wrestling
88. Abdullah the Butcher vs One Man Gang-Heroes of Wrestling
89. Major Gunns vs Miss Hancock-New Blood Rising
90. Bradshaw & Trish Stratus vs Christopher Nowinski & Jackie Gayda-RAW (7/8/2002)
91. Triple H vs Scott Steiner-Royal Rumble 2003
92. Hollywood Hogan vs The Warrior-Halloween Havoc 1998
93. Mr. T vs Roddy Piper-WrestleMania 2
94. The Royal Family vs Clowns R' Us-Survivor Series 1994
95. The Blacktop Bully vs Dustin Rhodes-Uncensored 1995
96. Pat Patterson vs Gerald Brisco-King of the Ring 2000
97. The Four Doinks vs Team Bigelow-Survivor Series 1993
98. Sting vs Jeff Hardy-Victory Road 2011
99. Oz vs Tim Parker-SuperBrawl
100. Ultimate Warrior vs Andre the Giant-Saturday Night's Main Event (11/25/1989)
101. The Doomsday Cage Match-Uncensored 1996
102. Kane vs The Undertaker-Judgement Day 1998
103. Rebel vs Shelly Martinez-One Night Only: Knockouts Knockdown
104. Kaitlyn vs Maxine-NXT (10/19/2010)
105. Sabu vs The Sandman-November to Remember 1997
106. Seth Rollins vs "The Fiend" Bray Wyatt-Hell in a Cell 2019
107. Michael Cole vs Jerry Lawler-WrestleMania XXVII
108. The Bushwhackers vs Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff-Heroes of Wrestling
109. James Storm vs Chris Harris-Lockdown 2007
110. John Laurinaitis vs John Cena-Over the Limit 2012
111. Ultimate Warrior vs Goldust-In Your House 7
112. Los Villanos vs Los Psycho Circus-Triplemania XXIII
113. Jenna Morasca vs Sharmell-Victory Road 2009

Thanks for reading. Be sure to share this post and leave any suggestions for matches you'd like to see covered here in the comments below. Next week, I'll be taking a look at WCW's version of WrestleMania and reviewing one of the worst matches in the history of Starrcade, featuring one of the worst gimmicks in wrestling history. Until next time...