Worst in the World: Akira Maeda vs Andre the Giant-NJPW Big Fighter Series 1986 (Day 15)

 (Special thanks to Otter Empire for suggesting this match. If you'd like to see a match covered on the Worst in the World, leave a comment down below.)

It's time to venture back into the wild world of pro-wrestling shoot fights; where wrestlers step into the ring for a scripted match, only for it to devolve into a real-life scrap, usually served up with a slice or two of good, old-fashioned beef. The last time I looked at a match-turned-fight, I covered the infamous bout between Antonio Inoki and the Great Antonio, in which the former strongman no-sold and stiffed Inoki, so Inoki responded by slapping & stomping him right out of the business. And today, I'll be taking a look at a match involving one of Inoki's New Japan counterparts, Akira Maeda. Trained in catch wrestling by the likes of Karl Gotch, Yoshiaki Fujiwara, and Inoki himself, Maeda was a legit fighter who would have no problem kicking ass if he needed to, something further exemplified by his 7-5 record as an MMA fighter. Maeda has two very famous instances of him shooting on his opponent. In a famous (but disputed) incident that actually led to him leaving New Japan in 1988, Maeda delivered a stiff kick to Riki Choshu as he was applying the Sasori-gatame (the Sharpshooter), breaking his orbital bone and sidelining him for over a month. However, both Maeda and the match's referee Mr. Takahashi have said the kick & injury resulted from miscommunication rather than malice. In this match, however, there's no debate that Maeda's shooting on his opponent.

On May 26th (or April 29th, depending on where you look), 1986, Maeda was booked on a New Japan show against the legendary Andre the Giant, less than a year before his WrestleMania III main event with Hulk Hogan. It was a disaster. By all reports, Andre, famous for his drinking habits, appeared to have gotten himself in no condition to compete and looked drunk throughout the match. However, the juicy details really come from behind the scenes. Akira Maeda & Antonio Inoki did not like each other. In 1984, Maeda and other wrestlers formed the Japanese Universal Wrestling Federation (no relationship to either the Bill Watts or the Herb Abrams UWFs) defecting from the Inoki-led New Japan in the process. When the UWF folded a year later, Maeda returned to NJPW, and the story goes that Maeda was unhappy with his position in the company and saw himself as a top star. Inoki, who likely still remembered the defection and had refused to work a program with Maeda, reportedly wanted to humble Maeda and saw the 500 Ib Andre the Giant as the perfect man to do it. Add on the reports that neither man was willing to lose, and you get nearly half an hour of pure disaster. Let's get into this.

The match starts with Maeda circling Andre, who stands in the middle of the ring and barely reacts as Maeda throws a strike at him. This goes on for about a minute before Maeda attempts a takedown, which Andre easily counters before taking Maeda to the ground himself. Andre just lays on top of Maeda for another minute before Maeda is able to get a rope break. More circling by Maeda follows before he attempts a shoulder block, an attempt that Andre easily swats away and sends Maeda to the ground. Maeda circles Andre once again, this time for around 40 seconds before attempting a wheel kick. The kick staggers Andre, who quickly tries to smother Maeda again, but Maeda slides out of the ring just as quickly. The first three minutes of this match have barely been anything. There are 23 more to go. This is hell.

After taking a breather, Maeda gets back in the ring to...circle Andre, who teeters around the middle of the ring. After almost a minute of that, the two lock up for the first time in the match, which Andre gets the better of the exchange. Andre takes Maeda down to the mat, but Maeda is able to break the hold and gain control, which Andre quickly breaks by forcing Maeda into the ropes. The two stand back up, where Andre locks in a full nelson before taking Maeda down to the mat again. Maeda once again forces a rope break, but Andre blatantly keeps the hold in for a good 15 seconds after being told to break. Back on their feet, Maeda kicks away at Andre's legs, but Andre completely no-sells them. Maeda follows up with a successful takedown before locking in an armbar. Maeda continues working the arm for a minute and a half with armbars and elbow drops before Andre breaks the hold. The match has picked up a little bit, but it's still incredibly dull.

The two stand back up for some more circling. This is like the Scott Steiner-Triple H match at Royal Rumble 2003, only instead of belly-to-belly suplexes, it's Akira Maeda circling Andre the Giant while he stands in the middle of the ring. Eventually, Maeda takes down Andre again, but Andre quickly gains control by choking Maeda before the two stand back up. Maeda goes for a dropkick, but Andre swats him away. More circling before Maeda takes Andre down yet again, this time locking in a heel hook. Andre quickly breaks the hold by grabbing the ropes and the two stand back up for more circling. Don't want too much action to happen, now do we? Another takedown ends with another heel hook for Maeda. Despite Andre grabbing the ropes multiple times, the hold doesn't break until Andre rolls over and slips out. I cannot convey in words how unenjoyable this match is.

The two stand back up and we get (big surprise) more circling as Maeda kicks away at Andre, who no-sells the kicks and stumbles around. It wasn't obvious at first, but it's clear as day now that Andre is drunk. Something else that's clear as day at this point is that Akira Maeda 100% done with this shit. More circling follows before Maeda starts kicking Andre again. I know the style in Japan is stiffer than in the United States, but you can really tell Maeda's laying it on extra stiff with these ones. It's also obvious that Maeda's not going for the thighs on some of these kicks, he hits Andre right in the knee on some of these. It's hard to argue that Maeda gave even a little bit of a shit if he hurt Andre for real here. The match has just about completely fallen apart as Maeda continues circling Andre while sprinkling in a few stiff kicks.

Naturally, the prospect of shoot-fighting combined with professional wrestling brings out Antonio Inoki, who comes down to ringside as Maeda kicks Andre, causing him to stumble into the ropes. Maeda continues to shoot kick away at Andre's legs for real, prompting him to retreat into the corner and consult with his manager (I have no idea who it is.) The match completely halts as Inoki steps into the ring, likely trying to salvage this trainwreck peacefully before exiting the ring and heading to the back. Maeda responds to this by ignoring it and shoot kicking Andre in the leg again. Antonio Inoki would become a better negotiator in later years. More shoot kicks in between circling as Andre again consults with his manager at ringside. Maeda takes down Andre two more times. The second time, Andre decides that he too, is also done with this shit. Quite literally, as he just stays down on the mat and demands to be pinned. Inoki comes back down to ringside and gets back in the ring, followed by multiple people from ringside as the bell rings. Andre gets back up before Maeda starts kicking him again for no reason. It is finally over.

The Verdict

Holy shit, this was so bad. Obviously, the fact that this match devolved into one man using another man's legs as a kick pad makes it a disaster of a match...but the actual match from before it turned into a shit show is somehow even worse. It is nothing but Maeda circling Andre with an occasional takedown. It is just the most boring, uninspiring wrestling I think I've ever seen. I didn't even include any pictures outside of the title card because there is nothing to show. Almost nothing happens for the majority of the match. Maeda shooting on Andre genuinely made the match better because it was something. Adding on to how bad this match is, it is close to 27 minutes long. 27 minutes of circling, takedowns, and shoot kicks. At least with Inoki battering the Great Antonio, it was under 4 minutes. It's still bad, but a bad 4-minute match is a lot more palatable than a bad 27-minute match. But where does it go on the rankings...

I never thought I'd see a match as bad as Jenna Morasca vs Sharmell, I really didn't. If you had asked me a week ago to bet money that I'd never see a match as bad as that, I'd have taken it in a heartbeat. That would've been me in a pre-having seen Akira Maeda vs Andre the Giant world. Literally, halfway through this match, I thought to myself..."this might be worse than Jenna/Sharmell." And now that I've sat through the whole thing, I decided I had to do something I thought I'd never do again...I had to rewatch Jenna vs Sharmell for the first time in over five years. I was so uncertain about it that I felt like I had to rewatch the worst match I've ever seen to accurately rate what might be the new worst match I've ever seen. So, with that said, is Akira Maeda vs Andre the Giant the new worst match I've ever seen...

...

...

Yes.

Jenna Morasca vs Sharmell is fucking terrible, but there are some things that put it above Akira Maeda vs Andre the Giant in my eyes. For starters, it's short, clocking in at under 6 minutes compared to Maeda/Andre's near 27 minutes. Second, it's two women who were either not trained in Jenna's case, or barely trained in Sharmell's case. Should they've been wrestling a match at all, let alone on a pay-per-view? Hell no, but them stinking up the joint is a lot less egregious than Akira Maeda & Andre the Giant, both of whom were not only trained but had years of experience by the time they had this match, putting on a match this bad. Third, while this really isn't much of a positive, but there are some "so bad it's good" moments from Jenna/Sharmell. I tend to use this GIF-

-a lot when I post, and that's for two reasons. One, because it's a pretty solid incapsulation of what makes that match bad, and two, because I find that whole sequence really funny. The same goes for Jenna throwing her entire ass and then some directly into the camera when she makes her entrance and the weird lap dance she does when she pins Sharmell. I know in my initial review I said the match had was "zero entertainment value", but I think when I wrote that back in 2016, I was using "entertainment value" and "quality" as the same thing. Because Jenna vs Sharmell has entertainment value...just not in the way it was supposed to it by any means. But for Akira Maeda vs Andre the Giant, I can confidently say there is nothing enjoyable, either genuinely or ironically in a so bad it's good sense, that can be taken away from it. Fourth and finally, and this is a bit of a meta-reason I thought of when I was rewatching Jenna vs Sharmell...I was willing to watch Jenna vs Sharmell again...and I never want to re-watch Akira Maeda vs Andre the Giant ever again.

So, for all those reasons...move aside Jenna Morasca vs Sharmell...because there's a new bottom of the Worst in the World. Akira Maeda vs Andre the Giant: the absolute worst wrestling match I have ever seen.

The Verdict

1. Tommy Dreamer vs Bully Ray-Victory Road 2011
2. Rick Rude vs Jake Roberts-WrestleMania IV
3. Too Much vs Al Snow & Head-King of the Ring 1998
4. Brock Lesnar vs Roman Reigns-Greatest Royal Rumble
5. Ernest Miller vs Norman Smiley-Fall Brawl 1998
6. Shane McMahon vs Eric Bischoff-SummerSlam 2003
7. The Tag Team Gauntlet-Extreme Rules 2010
8. Hernandez vs Matt Morgan-Victory Road 2011
9. Randy Orton vs Bray Wyatt-WrestleMania 33
10. Vampiro vs Sting-Great American Bash 2000
11. T&A vs Head Cheese-WrestleMania 2000
12. The Women's Tag Team Turmoil-WrestleMania 37 (Night 1)
13. Triple H vs Sgt. Slaughter-D-Generation X: In Your House
14. Konnan vs One Man Gang-SuperBrawl VI
15. Ultimate Warrior vs Hercules-WrestleMania IV
16. Rick Rude vs Hawk-Clash of the Champions XXV
17. Shelton Benjamin vs Viscera-New Year's Revolution 2006
18. Steve McMichael vs Reggie White-Slamboree 1997
19. Lars Sullivan vs Lucha House Party-Super Showdown 2019
20. Alexa Bliss vs Bayley-Extreme Rules 2017
21. The Tag Team Fatal 4-Way Match-WrestleMania 13
22. Tag Team Battle Royal-WrestleMania XIV
23. The Chamber of Horrors-Halloween Havoc 1991
24. The Natural Disasters vs Money Inc.-WrestleMania VIII
25. Ivan Koloff vs Paul Jones-Clash of the Champions IV
26. ODB, Taylor Wilde, and Roxxi vs The Kongtourage-Genesis 2009
27. Kazushi Sakuraba & Yuji Nagata vs Daniel & Rolles Gracie-Wrestle Kingdom 8
28. Ivory vs Tori-SummerSlam 1999
29. Giant Baba vs Bulldog Bob Brown-WrestleRock
30. The Reverse Battle Royal-Impact! (10/26/2006)
31. Jerry Blackwell vs Boris Zhukov-SuperClash II
32. Nikita Koloff vs Bobby Eaton-Bunkhouse Stampede
33. Alex Wright vs Steve McMichael-Halloween Havoc 1997
34. The Great Khali vs Kane-WrestleMania 23
35. Savio Vega vs Crush vs Faarooq-Ground Zero: In Your House
36. The Shockmaster vs Awesome/King Kong-Starrcade 1993
37. Total Divas vs Other Divas-Survivor Series 2013
38. The Oddities vs Kaientai-SummerSlam 1998
39. Team RAW vs Team SmackDown Men's Elimination Match-Survivor Series 2017
40. Hulk Hogan vs Sid Justice-WrestleMania VIII
41. Paul Ellering vs Teddy Long-Capital Combat
42. Dusty Rhodes vs Big Boss Man-Saturday Night's Main Event (10/31/1989)
43. Konnan vs Scott Hall-Fall Brawl 1998
44. Damian Priest vs The Miz-WrestleMania Backlash
45. Tyson Tomko vs Stevie Richards-Unforgiven 2004
46. Kane vs The Great Khali-SummerSlam 2009
47. Rick Steiner vs Scott Steiner-Fall Brawl 1998
48. Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Hog Wild
49. Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Souled Out 1997
50. Dustin Rhodes & King Kong vs Awesome Kong & The Equalizer-Battlebowl
51. Finlay & Little Bastard vs The Boogeyman & Little Boogeyman-No Way Out 2007
52. Mr. Anderson vs Rob Van Dam-Victory Road 2011
53. Jake Roberts vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania V
54. El Gigante vs Nailz-G1 Climax 1994 (Day 1)
55. Yokozuna vs King Mabel-In Your House 4
56. Dusty Rhodes vs The Honky Tonk Man-SummerSlam 1989
57. Sting & Hawk vs Meng & Kurasawa-Clash of the Champions XXXI
58. The Hurt Business vs RETRIBUTION-WWE Monday Night RAW (10/26/2020)
59. Hulk Hogan vs Randy Savage-Uncensored 1998
60. Al Snow vs Big Boss Man-Unforgiven 1999
61. Vince Russo vs Ric Flair-WCW Monday Nitro (6/5/2000)
62. Mickie James vs Ashley-Royal Rumble 2006
63. Antonio Inoki vs The Great Antonio-NJPW Sumo Hall Show (12/8/1977)
64. Christy Hemme vs Big Fat Oily Guy-Against All Odds 2007
65. British Bulldog & Jim Neidhart vs The Dancing Fools-Fall Brawl 1998
66. Stevie Ray vs Konnan-World War 3 1998
67. Vampiro vs The KISS Demon-Bash at the Beach 2000
68. Team WCW vs nWo Wolfpac vs nWo Hollywood-Fall Brawl 1998
69. Vampiro vs Oklahoma-Starrcade 1999
70. Big Swole vs Penelope Ford, Rebel, and Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D.-AEW Dynamite (8/27/2020)
71. Hulk Hogan vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania III
72. Jinder Mahal vs Randy Orton-Battleground 2017
73. Van Hammer vs Terrance Taylor-Clash of the Champions XVI
74. Junkyard Dog vs Moondog Spot-Wrestling Classic
75. The New Blood Gauntlet-WCW Monday Nitro (6/5/2000)
76. Chris Jericho vs "Goldberg"-Fall Brawl 1998
77. Roman Reigns vs The Undertaker-WrestleMania 33
78. The Undertaker vs Goldberg-Super ShowDown 2019
79. Hiroshi Wajima vs Tom Magee-All Japan Pro Wrestling 1988
80. Jim Duggan vs Big Boss Man-Royal Rumble 1990
81. Meng vs Jim Duggan-Uncensored 1995
82. Jim Steele vs The Equalizer-SuperBrawl IV
83. The Golden Truth vs Breezango-Money in the Bank 2016
84. The Undertaker vs Giant González-WrestleMania IX
85. Sting vs Tony Palmore-Battle 7
86. D-Generation X vs Brothers of Destruction-Crown Jewel
87. Wendi Richter vs Leilani Kai-WrestleMania
88. Goldberg vs Brock Lesnar-WrestleMania XX
89. Edge vs Triple H vs Vladimir Kozlov-Survivor Series 2008
90. Rosita & Sarita vs Angelina Love & Winter-Victory Road 2011
91. Kevin Sullivan vs Dave Sullivan-SuperBrawl V
92. Steve McMichael vs Brian Adams-Road Wild 1998
93. Scott Hall vs Roddy Piper-SuperBrawl IX
94. Boris Zhukov vs Paul Samson-Beach Brawl
95. Roddy Piper vs Hollywood Hogan-Halloween Havoc 1997
96. Kane vs The Great Khali-Breaking Point
97. Hollywood Hogan & Dennis Rodman vs Diamond Dallas Page & Karl Malone-Bash at the Beach 1998
98. PN News & Bobby Eaton vs Steve Austin & Terrance Taylor-Great American Bash 1991
99. Scott Steiner vs Sid Vicious vs Jeff Jarrett vs Road Warrior Animal-Sin
100. Hollywood Hogan vs Roddy Piper-SuperBrawl 1997
101. Batista vs The Great Khali-SummerSlam 2007
102. Sting vs Hollywood Hogan-Starrcade 1997
103.  Sable vs Tori-WrestleMania XV
104. Super Invader vs Todd Champion-WrestleWar 1992
105. Brock Lesnar vs Cain Velasquez-Crown Jewel 2019
106. King Kong Bundy & Jim Neidhart vs Yokozuna & Jake Roberts-Heroes of Wrestling
107. Sid Vicious vs The Nightstalker-Clash of the Champions XIII
108. The 8-Divas Tag Match-Survivor Series 1999
109. The Fabulous Freebirds vs The Renegade Warriors-Halloween Havoc 1990
110. The Knockouts Gauntlet-One Night Only: Live! 2016
111. AJ Styles vs Frank Trigg-No Surrender 2008
112. Rick Rude vs Masahiro Chono-Halloween Havoc 1992
113. Mike Awesome vs Vampiro-Halloween Havoc 2000
114. Bray Wyatt vs John Cena-Extreme Rules 2014
115. Brothers of Destruction vs KroniK-Unforgiven 2001
116. The Miss WrestleMania Battle Royal-WrestleMania 25
117. Mabel vs The Undertaker-King of the Ring 1995
118. Wendi Richter vs The Fabulous Moolah-The Brawl to End it All
119. David Flair vs Kimberly Page-Mayhem 1999
120. The Truth Commission vs The Disciples of Apocolypse-Survivor Series 1997
121. Daffney vs Miss Hancock-Bash at the Beach 2000
122. The Bushwhacker vs The Fabulous Rougeaus-WrestleMania V
123. Randy Orton vs "The Fiend" Bray Wyatt-WrestleMania 37 (Night 2)
124. The Beverly Brothers vs The Bushwhackers-Royal Rumble 1992
125. Teddy Long vs Eric Bischoff-Survivor Series 2005
126. Greg Valentine vs George Steele-Heroes of Wrestling
127. Abdullah the Butcher vs One Man Gang-Heroes of Wrestling
128. Major Gunns vs Miss Hancock-New Blood Rising
129. Vince Russo vs Booker T-WCW Monday Nitro (9/25/2000)
130. Bradshaw & Trish Stratus vs Christopher Nowinski & Jackie Gayda-WWE Monday Night RAW (7/8/2002)
131. Triple H vs Scott Steiner-Royal Rumble 2003
132. Goldberg vs "The Fiend" Bray Wyatt-Super ShowDown 2020
133. Santina Marella vs Vickie & Chavo Guerrero-Extreme Rules 2009
134. Kevin Nash vs Scott Steiner vs Goldberg-New Blood Rising
135. Hollywood Hogan vs The Warrior-Halloween Havoc 1998
136. Mr. T vs Roddy Piper-WrestleMania 2
137. The Royal Family vs Clowns R' Us-Survivor Series 1994
138. The House of Horrors Match-Payback 2017
139. The Blacktop Bully vs Dustin Rhodes-Uncensored 1995
140. Team Dos Caras vs Team El Canek-Leyendas Mexicanas 2017
141. Pat Patterson vs Gerald Brisco-King of the Ring 2000
142. The Wyatt Swamp Fight-The Horror Show at Extreme Rules
143. The Four Doinks vs Team Bigelow-Survivor Series 1993
144. Sting vs Jeff Hardy-Victory Road 2011
145. Bret Hart vs Mr. McMahon-WrestleMania XVI
146. WarGames 2000: Russo's Revenge-WCW Monday Nitro (9/4/2000)
147. Oz vs Tim Parker-SuperBrawl
148. Brock Lesnar vs Braun Strowman-Crown Jewel 2018
149. Brock Lesnar vs Ricochet-Super ShowDown 2020
150. The Mighty Maccabee vs The Iron Sheik-Maccabiah Mania II: Shekel Slam
151. Van Hammer vs Doug Somers-Halloween Havoc 1991
152. Ultimate Warrior vs Andre the Giant-Saturday Night's Main Event (11/25/1989)
153. Jeff Jarrett vs Sting-Halloween Havoc 2000
154. The Doomsday Cage Match-Uncensored 1996
155. Kane vs The Undertaker-Judgement Day 1998
156. Rebel vs Shelly Martinez-One Night Only: Knockouts Knockdown
157. Kaitlyn vs Maxine-NXT (10/19/2010)
158. Sabu vs The Sandman-November to Remember 1997
159. Seth Rollins vs "The Fiend" Bray Wyatt-Hell in a Cell 2019
160. Michael Cole vs Jerry Lawler-WrestleMania XXVII
161. The Bushwhackers vs Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff-Heroes of Wrestling
162. James Storm vs Chris Harris-Lockdown 2007
163. John Laurinaitis vs John Cena-Over the Limit 2012
164. Hulk Hogan vs The Giant-Halloween Havoc 1995
165. Ultimate Warrior vs Goldust-In Your House 7
166. Los Villanos vs Los Psycho Circus-Triplemania XXIII
167. Jenna Morasca vs Sharmell-Victory Road 2009
168. Akira Maeda vs Andre the Giant-NJPW Big Fighter Series 1986 (Day 15)

So, there you have it. Almost five and half years and 113 entries in the Worst in the World later, I have found the new worst professional wrestling match I have ever seen...for now, at least...

Thanks for reading! Be sure to share if you enjoy and leave any suggestions for matches you'd like to see covered in the Worst in the World in the comments. Next time, since it'll be December, so I thought I'd cover a match that will be celebrating its 15-year anniversary and make it a December to remember. Well, more like a December to...Dismember. Until then.