My Thoughts on RAW (3/21/16): The World's Largest Hugger

• We kick off the show with one of the principle owner of WWE (and winner of OSW Review's "C*nt of the Year" Golden Nogger) Stephanie McMahon. She says Triple H is not at RAW tonight, and she says Reigns will never be WWE Champion because he lacks intellect. Out comes Roman Reigns to a chorus of boos. This is going to get ugly. Stephanie says Reigns is only hear because Triple H isn't, and says Triple H is going to beat him at WrestleMania. Reigns grabs the mic from her and says Triple H didn't want to come because he knew he'd get beat up, and it will be worse at WrestleMania. He says he's going to win the WWE Championship to a chorus of boos. He blocks Stephanie's slap, and the segment ends. LISTEN TO THE BOOS!
• AJ Styles vs Kevin Owens-The two start off with Owens in control, locking in a head lock and blocking Styles' reversal. Owens takes Styles down to the ground, but Styles fights his way up and dropkicks Owens to the outside. After a series of reversals and dodging, Owens flapjacks Styles into the barricade outside as we go to commercial. We come back to with Owens in control again with a headlock. Owens throws Styles to the ground, but Styles hits a head scissors from the ground, followed by a big enziguri. Styles runs wild, hitting a chicken wing facebuster for a two count. Styles gets his Pele kick blocked, and Owens follows up with a big lariat and a inverted TKO for a two count. Styles dodges the cannonball, and hits a fireman's carry slam onto his knee for another two count. Styles puts Owens on the top rope, but Owens holds onto the ropes, causing Styles to fall, and Owens hits a Five Star Frog Splash (cause they're in Philadelphia, you see), but only gets a two. Owens calls for the Pop Up Powerbomb, but Styles avoids it and the two have a punch off. Owens hits a superkick, followed by a Pele by Styles, knocking both men down as we go to commercial again. We come back with Owens setting Styles up on the top rope. Styles fights back, and slides out from under Owens and hits a fireman's carry into a powerbomb for a two, but not before busting out a little Torture Rack. Styles goes back to the top rope, but Owens meets him there. Styles fights back, but Owens gets him on his shoulders. Styles slides out of that and hits a huge sunset flip powerbomb for a two. The crowd is loving this match, and Styles goes to the top again, as Chris Jericho comes out with a mic chanting "AJ STYLES".  Styles avoids the distraction finish and locks in the Calf Crusher, but Jericho gets on the apron and Styles goes after him again, allowing Owens to roll him up for the win. Excellent match, these two work so well together. Styles goes after Jericho, and Owens takes the mic. Owens talks about WrestleMania, but Dolph Ziggler interrupts and name drops Botchamania! He says he deserves to fight Owens at WrestleMania, and outcomes Miz, who says he deserves to fight Owens at WrestleMania because he main evented WrestleMania once. Out comes Sami Zayn, who says that he's been waiting to get his hands on Kevin Owens again, and he wants to fight him at WrestleMania for the Intercontinental Championship. Owens says that none of them are fighting him at WrestleMania, but he'll get the Authority to set up a Triple Threat to determine the #1 contender.
• We get Dean Ambrose in a bar, who says he's going to beat Lesnar at WrestleMania. AND TERRY FUNK IS THERE! HOLY SH*T! Funk legit gives him a chainsaw. Ambrose saws the table up as it goes to commercial.
• Backstage, Stephanie McMahon is confronted by Kevin Owens. He specifically says he climbed the "ladder" of success, and asks about the triple threat he talked about. Stephanie agrees.
• Big E vs Rusev-The League of Nations cut a promo in the ring. They say they are going to crush the New Day, that they taught them a lesson last week, and that New Day sucks. Out come The New Day. They say they don't suck, and call the League of Nations trash with flash cards. They smack talk all the members of the League of Nations. The teams brawl on the outside of the ring, with the New Day gaining the advantage. The bell rings and Rusev ducks out of the ring, but Big E brings him back. Big E takes it Rusev, hitting a big shoulder tackle in the corner and his big splash on the apron as we go to commercial. We come back to Rusev in control with a head lock on Big E. Rusev hits a dropkick for a two count. Rusev continues to work over Big E until Big E runs wild, hitting a big belly to belly and going for his big splash, but Rusev blocks it with his knees and hits a spinning heel kick. Big E dodges a superkick, followed by Rusev escaping the Big Ending, and Big E hitting a Samoa Joe-styles STO. Big E goes for his apron spear, but Rusev blocks it with his knee and hits a roundhouse kick for a two. Big E is able to hit his big splash and calls for the Big Ending, but Barrett distracts him and it allows Rusev to hit a superkick for a two. On the outside, Xavier Woods goes mental on the League of Nations until he gets stopped by Sheamus. Big E counters the Accolade by lifting Rusev on his shoulders for an electric chair drop. Sheamus distracts the referee and eats an apron spear for his trouble. Kofi hits an enziguri on Rusev, and that allows Big E to hit the Big Ending for the win. Pretty fun match, very enjoyable.
• We get a Wyatt Family promo. Who cares?
• Big Show is out for a promo. He says Andre the Giant is the greatest giant of all time (clearly he doesn't read my Worst in the World series!), and that winning Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal again is important to him. Out come The Social Outcasts, with Bo saying they're a Cinderella story, but Axel says they're something cool, like Voltron. Adam Rose sh*ts on Curtis Axel's weird chopping noise, and Big Show says he's going to beat them all. The Social Outcasts beat up Big Show until Kane comes out, who throws all the Outcasts out of the ring. Big Show hugs Kane and goes up the to the top rope, only for Kane to chokeslam him. I don't know why, but I laughed so hard when Big Show hugged Kane.
• Fifth Harmony is performing America the Beautiful at WrestleMania...poor.
• Stan Hansen is getting inducted into the Hall of Fame.
• Fandando vs Chris Jericho-Oh, Fandango. Poor, poor Fandango. Jericho batters Fandango to start, stomping and chopping Fandango, even taking time to yell out "HE NEVER BEAT ME AT WRESTLEMANIA!" Awesome. Fandango runs wild, but Jericho avoids the leg drop and goes for the Walls of Jericho, but outcomes AJ Styles chanting "Y2-JACKASS!". Fandango almost gets the roll up win, but Jericho hits the Codebreaker for the win. Damn, Fandango can't even get a distraction win. Styles goes after Jericho, but he ducks out. Styles takes the mic and says he's competed all over the world, but not at WrestleMania. Styles throws down the challenge for WrestleMania to end the segment.
• Kevin Owens comes out to announce the triple threat match...BUT IT'S A SWERVE! It's not Ziggler vs Miz vs Zayn, it's Stardust vs Sin Cara vs ZACK RYDER! HE MADE IT ON RAW!
• Stardust vs Sin Cara vs Zack Ryder-#1 Contenders match for the Intercontinental Championship-The three go at it until Stardust boots Ryder from the ring, allowing Sin Cara to run wild on Stardust, hitting a hurricanrana for a two count. The three start to fight on the outside, with Sin Cara hitting a springboard moonsault on Ryder & Stardust. Sin Cara & Ryder go at it in the ring, and outcomes Sami Zayn, followed by The Miz, and Dolph Ziggler, and they all argue with Owens. Owens throws Ryder into and that causes a DQ (in a no DQ match...) and the seven competitors all fight in the ring before sending Owens fleeing.
• Backstage, Stephanie is on the phone when Kevin Owens busts in. Owens says none of them deserve to challenge for the Intercontinental Championship. Stephanie decides to book Owens in a 7-man ladder match at WrestleMania. I bet Owens would agree that Stephanie was the C*nt of the Year.
• In the parking garage, Triple H arrives in a limo to pick Stephanie up. But outside the big garage door is Roman Reigns, who ambushes Triple H, accompanied by Stephanie McMahon's horrible acting. They eventually escape. 
• Natalya vs Charlotte-Remember when these two put on one of the best women's matches in history at NXT Takeover? Good times. The two go back and forth before Natalya locks in a surfboard, and stomps on Charlotte before she rolls out of the ring. Natalya hits a discuss clothesline outside the ring, but Charlotte takes control when they get back in. Charlotte works over until Natalya takes control with a sit-out powerbomb for a two count. Natalya locks in the Sharpshooter, but Charlotte gets to the ropes. They two trade roll ups before Charlotte hits the worst Natural Selection ever for the win. I'm sorry, but Charlotte is pitiful. I cannot stand her as a professional wrestler.
• Bubba Ray Dudley vs R-Truth-D-Von distracts Truth so Bubba can blindside him. Bubba dominates the match, beating down Truth for the majority of the match until Truth runs wild, but gets stopped by D-Von. I looked away for a second and Bubba picked up the win. After the match, The Dudleyz attack Truth, but Goldust goes to make the save. He gets beat up, and out come the Usos to make the save. The Usos get a table and attempt to put D-Von through it with, but Bubba makes the save.
• Outcomes Vince McMahon. He talks about Shane McMahon vs The Undertaker at WrestleMania in Hell in a Cell. He says that if Shane wins, it would be the last time we saw him, Stephanie, or Triple H. He replays Undertaker chokeslamming Shane, and calls it "sweet". He says the Shane will risk everything at WrestleMania, and calls Undertaker his bitch. He also adds that if Undertaker loses, it will be his last WrestleMania. This is a tough one. On the one hand, I'm sick of the Authority (especially Stephanie), but on the other, if Shane McMahon is the guy who ends Undertaker's career, I might throw a brick through my TV.
• Dean Ambrose vs Braun Strowman-Match kicks off with Ambrose trying to use his speed to beat Strowman, but Strowman takes advantage with his power. Ambrose is able to knock Strowman out of the ring, and hits a suicide dive, but gets blocked going for a second one. Strowman continues to muscle Ambrose around until Ambrose runs wild. Ambrose goes for Dirty Deeds, but Strowman powers out. Ambrose avoids a shoulder tackle in the corner, and attacks Strowman with a chair, causing the DQ. After the match, Ambrose manages to hit Dirty Deeds onto the chair on Strowman as the show ends.

And that's about it. The show started off great with Owens-Styles, but it slowed down a lot at the end, specifically with the Bubba Ray-Truth match. We're only two weeks away from WrestleMania, Maggle! Let's see where this goes.

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