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My Thoughts on SmackDown (12/13/16): Chinfluenza

  • Before the show, Daniel Bryan & Shane McMahon review last week's Intercontinental Championship match with James Ellsworth, who is sick, in the room.The two rail on Ellsworth for interfering before telling Ellsworth to go home tonight because he's sick, canceling the WWE Championship match he was supposed to have tonight.
  • We kick off the show with MizTV. Miz brings out his guest tonight AJ Styles, who says Ellsworth came down with...Chinfluenza. He says he'll destroy Ellsworth when the time comes, and he & Miz joke around about Ellsworth & Styles getting a shampoo endorsement. Styles says nobody is on his level, but Miz says he's above Styles' level and implies that he wants the WWE Championship. The two push the chairs aside before Dean Ambrose comes out, followed by Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler says Styles & Miz are paper champions who only win by cheating. Miz & Ziggler fight, ending with Miz hitting a Skull Crushing Finale on Ziggler, followed by Ambrose giving Miz Dirty Deeds. Ambrose then gives Ziggler Dirty Deeds as Styles walks off, only Luke Harper to appear and give Ambrose a discuss clothesline.
  • Backstage, AJ Styles demands protection from Daniel Bryan & Shane McMahon. Bryan & Shane instead announce that Dean Ambrose, Dolph Ziggler, The Miz, and Luke Harper will face off in a Fatal 4-Way elimination match to determine the #1 contender for the WWE Championship. Also, if anyone interferes on anyone's behalf, they'll be eliminated.
  • Natalya vs Carmella-Nikki Bella is on commentary. Natalya takes the mic before the match to restate that she didn't attack Nikki at Survivor Series. Natalya immediately takes down Carmella who attempts to get away multiple times. Carmella slaps Natalya and takes the fight to her before the commercial break. We come back to Natalya hitting a snap suplex while calling Carmella a liar. Carmella comes back with a hurricanrana and a bronco buster for a near fall. Carmella applies body scissors to Natalya before turning it into a guillotine. Natalya fights out and turns it into a Michinoku Driver before going for the Sharpshooter, but Carmella escapes and rolls out of the ring. Natalya & Nikki stare eachother down before Natalya shoves Nikki out of the way of Carmella. Natalya throws Carmella back in the ring, but Carmella gets the win off a roll up. Fine match, nothing special.
  • Backstage, Gabriel Iglesias walks up to Apollo Crews. They are interrupted by The Miz & Maryse. Maryse says Fluffy's noises & his Hawaiian shirt are distracting Miz while he tries to focus before Iglesias says his suit is sh*t. I mean, that's just his opinion, he can be wrong if he wants. Miz & Maryse leave eventually.
  • #1 Contenders Tag Team Battle Royale-Thankfully, both team members need to be eliminated for the team to be eliminated. I always thought that "one guy gets eliminated, the whole team is eliminated" rule was dumb. Simon Gotch is immediately eliminated by Mojo Rawley. Like, as soon as the bell rings. Less than five seconds. Jesus, who did Simon Gotch piss off backstage? He got pinned immediately in the tag team turmoil a few weeks ago and now this. Viktor is next one eliminated by Chad Gable, followed by Gable himself by Konnor. Heath Slater accidentally eliminates Rhyno when Fandango moves out of the way before the commercial break. We come back to find out that Mojo Rawley got eliminated during the break by Fandango. Aiden English is eliminated next by Jason Jordan, followed by Fandango by Heath Slater. Jason Jordan spears & suplexes everyone around the ring, only to be eliminated by Konnor & Tyler Breeze. This leaves Breeze, Konnor, Ryder, and Slater. Slater runs wild on everyone, only to get tossed out by Konnor. Holy sh*t, Konnor is being booked like a million bucks tonight. Konnor & Breeze team up on Ryder before Breeze tries to eliminate Konnor. He can't make him budge, so Konnor throws him out onto the apron. Konnor tries to eliminate both Ryder & Breeze, but Ryder moves out of the way and Konnor only eliminates Breeze with a spear. Ryder goes for the Rough Ryder, but Konnor catches him, only to be hurricanrana'd over the top rope and to the outside, giving the Hype Bros the win.
  • We get a Baron Corbin vignette. Why?
  • Alexa Bliss vs Deonna Purrazzo-Hey, it's my girl and the NXT women's divisions resident punching bag Deonna Purrazzo. Bliss says she doesn't do charity cases and calls Purrazzo "Jane Ellsworth" before booting her from the ring. Lynch comes out and apologizes for being rude last week, but asks for her rematch right now. However, Bliss says they'll have their match on her terms. She walks up the ramp before Shane McMahon comes out, who says the match is happening next.
  • Alexa Bliss (c) vs Becky Lynch-SmackDown Women's Championship-Bliss avoids Lynch to start, nearly getting locked in the Dis-Arm-Her before taking two belly-to-back slams. The two trade holds before Lynch hits two arm drags followed by a springboard side kick and a spin kick. Bliss avoids the Bex-Plex and hits an STO for a near fall. Lynch avoids the Insult to Injury before running wild on Bliss. Lynch goes for the Dis-Arm-Her, but Bliss rolls out of the ring. Lynch brings her back into the ring, only for Bliss to roll back out and tweaks her knee. Bliss limps up the ramp, getting counted out in the process. Lynch goes after her and the two brawl, ending with Bliss in retreat.
  • John Cena returns to SmackDown in two weeks.
  • Dean Ambrose vs Dolph Ziggler vs The Miz with Maryse vs Luke Harper-#1 Contenders Elimination match-Harper immediately takes out Ambrose & Ziggler. Miz applauds Harper before trying to form an alliance with him, but Harper just slaps him and gives him a Michinoku Driver for a near fall. Ambrose & Ziggler finally take out Harper before the two go at it. Miz tosses Ambrose out of the ring before he & Ziggler trade near falls. Miz takes out Harper & Ambrose with wrecking ball dropkicks before delivering the Daniel Bryan kicks to Ziggler. Miz hits two corner dropkicks before Ambrose hits a running bulldog on him. Ambrose's suicide dive does nothing to Harper, who gives him a big boot on the outside. Harper goes back to dominating Ziggler, giving him an elevated slingshot into the ropes before throwing Ambrose into the barricade. Harper locks in the Torture Rack on Ziggler, but Ambrose breaks it up and goes for Dirty Deeds, only for Ziggler to superkick him. Harper gives Ziggler a clothesline before Ambrose gives Harper a Lunatic Lariat. Miz tries to steal the elimination before being pinned with a small package by Ambrose. After a commercial break, we see Ambrose get a near fall on Ziggler off a fisherman's suplex. Ambrose hits a swinging backbreaker for a near fall before locking in an arm-trap STF. Another suplex for a near fall before Ambrose goes to the top rope. Ziggler meets him there, but Harper pulls him down. Harper takes a Zig Zag before Ambrose gives Ziggler a top rope elbow drop for a near fall. Ambrose & Ziggler trade near falls before both go down off a double crossbody spot. Harper pops up and kicks each of them before getting a near fall off a spinning side slam on Ambrose, followed by another off a sit-out powerbomb by Ziggler. Ziggler hits a superkick on Harper, who then takes Dirty Deeds from Ambrose before being eliminated. Ziggler runs wild on Ambrose, hitting a Stinger Splash and a neckbreaker, but Ambrose dodges an elbow drop. The two go on the apron, where Ambrose slingshots Ziggler into the ring apron. Ambrose gets Ziggler back in the ring and goes to the top rope, but Ziggler meets him up there and hits an avalanche facebuster. Ambrose gets a near fall off a cradle before Ziggler clotheslines him, leaving them both down. Suddenly, the Miz comes down. Ziggler goes out after before Ambrose takes him out with a suicide dive. Ziggler gives him a superkick before Ambrose throws Ziggler into the ring post. Ambrose throws Ziggler back into the ring, but Miz stops Ambrose from getting back in himself. Ambrose throws Miz into the barricade before getting back into the ring, only to take a superkick when he gets back in. Ziggler makes the cover and gets the win. Great match, everyone looked great, especially Luke Harper, who shined in this match.

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