RAW vs Nitro #17 (1/1/96)

Welcome back to another edition of RAW vs Nitro. Click here to read the last edition if you missed it. Now, if you remember last time, I had to skip one week of RAW vs Nitro because the January 1st episode of RAW wasn't on the WWE Network. Guess what got put on the WWE Network since I posted that? That episode. Now, I probably had nothing to do with the episode getting added to the Network, but I'm going to take credit for it anyway. You're welcome. So now, I'm going to go back and do the RAW vs Nitro I couldn't do when I was writing up RAW vs Nitro #16.
So with that out of the way, this is RAW vs Nitro #17

RAW

• Ir's the first (and only) RAW Bowl! The commentators "Vin" McMahon and Jerry "Musburgerking" kick off the show before the first match. As in Vin Scully (I think) and Brent Musburger, real life football commentators.
• The Smoking Gunns vs Yokozuna & Owen Hart with Jim Cornette & Mr. Fuji vs Razor Ramon & Savio Vega vs the 1-2-3 Kid & Sycho Sid with Ted Dibiase-As Razor & Vega make their entrance, Goldust's personal usher gives Razor a box of flowers:
  
  ..so Razor beats the piss out of him. Also, unfortunately, Billy Gunn opted to cut his awesome mullet.
  
  Such a shame. So yeah, the RAW Bowl as a few rules. 1. Each team gets one timeout that can be used at any time. 2. The whole team is eliminated when one teammate gets pinned, submitted, DQ'd, or counted out. 3. Anybody can be tagged in at any time, but you have to make contact before tagging out. So it's basically a normal fatal 4-way elimination tag match. Bart Gunn & Owen Hart start off with Gunn hitting a drop-toe hold, a hip toss, and a dropkick. Gunn follows up with two more hip tosses before Hart tags in Billy Gunn. Billy & Bart run the ropes before tagging in Hart & Yokozuna. Hart almost gets his team disqualified before he & Yokozuna wrestle, with Yokozuna taking Hart down with a shoulder tackle. Why would they actually fight eachother? Wouldn't it be smarter to just like tap your teammate and then tag out? Why even risk wrestling your teammate? It makes no sense. Hart smartly tags in Vega, who gets taken down with a back elbow before dodging an elbow drop only to get bodyslammed by Yokozuna. Yokozuna tags in the 1-2-3 Kid and Vega hits the Caribbean Kick, but Sid stops the three count. The Kid quickly tags in Hart, who takes a bodyslam before hitting a spinning heel kick for a near fall. Razor tags in and works over Hart before Hart tags in Bart Gunn. Razor tags in Vega before Vega quickly tags in Sycho Sid. Sid works over Gunn before Gunn clotheslines him for a near fall. Gunn hits a big delayed vertical suplex for a near fall before Sid dodges an elbow drop. Gunn tags in Vega, who tries to bodyslam Sid but collapses under his weight. Sid tags in Hart, who hits a step-up enziguri for a near fall before tagging in Yokozuna before the commercial break. We come back to Hart & Yokozuna continuing the beat down of Savio Vega. Hart goes for the Sharpshooter, but Vega blocks it. Hart tags in the Kid, who hits a spinning heel kick before tagging in Yokozuna. Yokozuna tags right back out to the Kid, who misses a corner dropkick and gets caught in the Tree of Woe. Sid tags in and keeps Vega from making the tag before tagging the Kid back in. Vega dodges an elbow drop and tags in Razor. Razor hits a fallaway slam on the Kid before calling for the Razor's Edge, only for the Kid to call timeout. Razor ignores the referee telling him to stop and hits the Razor's Edge. Dibiase hops up on the apron, so the referee throws the flag. Sid uses this distraction to blindside Razor, allowing the Kid to get the pin, eliminating Razor & Vega. After a commercial break, the match resumes with Bart Gunn & the 1-2-3 Kid. The Kid & Sid double team Gunn before Sid tags in Hart. Hart gets a near fall off a suplex before hitting a knee strike. Gunn gets a near fall off a roll up before Hart hits a bodyslam and goes to the top rope. Gunn dodges the top rope splash and tags in Billy Gunn. Billy runs wild on all the heels before the Kid kicks him from the apron, allowing Hart to hit a neckbreaker. Hart sets up & holds Billy in place for the Bonzai Drop, but Bart pulls Billy out of the way and yanks Hart's legs out from under him, putting him in place for the Bonzai Drop. Hart takes the Bonzai Drop before Bart dropkicks Yokozuna out of the ring, allowing Billy to pin & eliminate Hart & Yokozuna. Sid wastes no time putting the boots to Billy, stomping away at him. Sid stomps Billy into the ropes before being pulled off by the referee, allowing the Kid to get a stomp & a leg drop in. Bart tries to get in the ring when the Kid & Sid double team Billy, but in doing so distracts the referee, allowing more double-teaming. Sid hits a big boot on Billy followed by a leg drop for a near fall. Billy gets a near fall off a roll up before Sid hits a chokeslam. Sid boots Bart off the apron, causing Bart to reenter the ring and distract the referee. Sid holds the Kid in place for a move off the top rope, but Razor Ramon runs back down and shoves the Kid into Sid. This allows Billy to roll up Sid for the final elimination and the win. Pretty enjoyable match. Maybe it was a bit too long, but it was still a lot of fun.
• Dok Hendrix hosts a halftime show for the RAW Bowl. He throws it to Jim Ross, who tried to interview Diesel, but all he got was that he was going to kick King Mabel's can tonight. He also hypes up the Royal Rumble, featuring Bret Hart vs The Undertaker for the WWF Championship and Jeff Jarrett vs Ahmed Johnson.
• Just like they did on the last RAW vs Nitro (so next week's episode) They replay an entire match from In Your House 5. This time it's the Arkansas Hog Pen match between Henry O. Godwinn and Hunter Hearst Helmsley.
• We get a promo video hyping up stuff for next week's RAW that I already talked about.
• King Mabel with Sir Mo vs Diesel-Diesel blindsides Mabel before the bell and hits a big boot for the squash victory. Diesel then grabs Mo and gives him a Jackknife Powerbomb for his troubles. Diesel never even took off his vest. And that's "hopefully" the end of the King Mabel experiment. God, it was bad. Jerry Lawler then tries to interview Diesel, but Diesel just walks off with Miss RAW Bowl. She was some blonde lady who sat next to Lawler all night and barely talked.
• We go backstage to see the Smoking Gunns receiving the Lombardi Trophy...the Steve Lombardi trophy.
  
  Steve Lombardi, aka the Brooklyn Brawler, hands them the trophy, which the Gunns break because just look at it. All the babyfaces beat up the Brawler before dumping water on him.
• Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler announce a few participants in the Royal Rumble match:
• Diesel
• Owen Hart
• The British Bulldog
• Dory Funk Jr.
• Savio Vega
• King Mabel
• Bam Bam Bigelow, who doesn't compete in the match.
• Barry Horowitz
• Yokozuna
• Tatanka
• And the debuting Vader
• We close the show with another awful "Billionaire Ted's Wrasslin Warroom" skits. They suggest that Huckster & the Nacho Man do moves like the Razor's Edge or the Pearl River Plunge, but they say they can't because they're too old.

That's it for RAW. Onto Nitro.

Nitro

• Arn Anderson vs Randy Savage-Savage & Anderson instantly brawl, ending with Savage throwing Anderson out of the ring. Savage follows him out and beat down Anderson around ringside. Back in the ring, Savage blocks a sunset flip and hits an atomic drop before hitting a double ax handle for a near fall. Savage continues to work over Anderson before Anderson rakes his eyes and works over Savage's injured left arm. Anderson hits a hammerlock body slam before Savage rolls out of the ring. Anderson follows him out, only to get thrown into the barricade. Back in the ring, Anderson continues to target Savage's arm, locking in an armbar. Savage tries to fight back, but his arm hurts too much. Anderson hits a DDT, but Savage gets his foot on the ropes to stop the pin. Anderson goes for another, but Savage blocks it and shoves Anderson into the referee, knocking him down. Anderson goes for the brass knuckles, but Savage knocks them out of his hand uses them himself to get the three, but not before shoving them back down Anderson's trunks.
  
  Fine match, nothing special. After the match, Brian Pillman & Chris Benoit run down to yell at the referee.
• Lord Steven Regal with Jeeves vs Chris Benoit-Despite already being in the ring from the previous match, Benoit has an entrance for this match. I guess he straight up ran back up the entrance way just so he could come right back out. Regal hits an arm drag to start before locking in an armbar. Benoit fights out and the two exchange strikes before Regal locks in a side headlock. Benoit fights out and locks in an armbar, but Regal counters it with a drop toehold and locks in an STF. Regal starts to work over Benoit with uppercuts in the corner before Benoit comes back with a German suplex. Benoit strikes away at Regal before Regal hits a butterfly suplex for a near fall. Benoit sets Regal up on the top rope and hits an electric chair drop before going for a diving headbutt. Regal dodges it and goes for a tombstone piledriver, but Benoit reverses it and hits a tombstone of his own. Regal rolls out of the ring, so Benoit goes for a slingshot body press, but Regal moves out of the way, causing Benoit to land hard on the outside. That was enough for Regal to roll him back in the ring and get the three. Good match, lots of good, crisp, technical wrestling. Also, I liked the finish of Regal capitalizing on Benoit's high-risk move that didn't pay off. Smart heels are the best heels.
• After the match, Mean Gene interviews Arn Anderson, Brian Pillman, and Chris Benoit. Pillman blasts Benoit & Anderson for losing, Benoit more so. Benoit says Regal only beat him because he got lucky. Pillman turns his attention to Anderson for losing to a move "right out of the Horsemen's playbook." Anderson blasts Pillman for starting a feud with the Dungeon of Doom before Kevin Sullivan, Jimmy Hart, and the Zodiac come down, but the Giant stops them from getting into the ring.
• The Super Assassins with Col. Rob Parker vs Lex Luger & Sting-Who are the Super Assassins? Well, they're the Powers of Pain from the WWF, the Warlord & the Barbarian. They wrestled two matches together before the Warlord left WCW. During the match, Sgt. Craig Pittman shows up at the commentary table to ask Steve "McMichaels" if he would be his manager. Mongo says no, but he says he could be a star one day. Sting gets tossed to the outside, where one of the Assassin's drops Sting on the guard rail from a gorilla press. The Super Assassin's continue to work over Sting. Sting makes the tag, but the referee was distracted by the other Assassin, causing him to miss the tag. Luger continues to distract the referee, allowing the Super Assassin's to hit a suplex/clothesline combo on Sting. The Super Assassin's actually get the visual three, but Luger keeps the referee distracted. Sting dodges a diving headbutt from one of the Assassins and makes the hot tag to Luger. Luger runs wild on the Assassin with kicks before he gets poked in the eye. Luger throws the Assassin's into eachother before he & Sting lock in the Torture Rack and the Scorpion Death Lock on both of the Assassins for the submission win.
• Mean Gene interviews Jimmy Hart & The Giant. Hart calls Mean Gene short before saying he's always going to be around winners. The Giant says that Hulk Hogan's time is coming. Mean Gene says he doesn't understand what the Giant said.
• Ric Flair (c) vs Hulk Hogan-WCW World Heavyweight Championship-Hogan overpowers Flair to start, taking him down with two shoulder tackles. Flair fights Hogan into the corner and chops away at him before Hogan fights back, only to take a back elbow. Flair goes to the top rope, but Hogan meets him there, throws him to the mat, and clotheslines him to the outside. Hogan & Flair fight at ringside before going back into the ring, where Flair flips over the turnbuckle and gets clotheslined. Flair comes back, targeting the left knee of Hogan before locking in the Figure Four. Hogan turns the hold over before Jimmy Hart runs down to distract Hogan. Flair goes back to Hogan's knee before suplexing Hogan for a near fall. Hogan Hulks Up. Punch. Punch. Punch, Big Boot. Leg Drop...no cover? Hogan runs over to knock Jimmy Hart off the apron, not noticing Arn Anderson enter the ring. Anderson gives him a shot with the brass knuckles...AND HOGAN NO SELLS IT! PISS OFF! Hogan knocks Anderson down and pulls the brass knuckles out of Anderson's trunks.
  
  Why is everyone trying to touch Arn Anderson's penis today? Hogan shows the referee the brass knuckles, so the referee calls for a DQ. Hogan proceeds to SINGLE HANDEDLY BEAT UP EVERY MEMBER OF THE FOUR HORSEMEN! F*CK RIGHT OFF! THAT SHOULD NOT BE HAPPENING! The Giant runs down to try to hit Hogan with a stool, but Randy Savage runs down and stops him and Hogan hits him with the brass knuckles. The Zodiac & Kevin Sullivan come down to stop the Giant from re-entering the ring, with Zodiac screaming "FRIEND!" and "HURT!"
• After the chaos, Mean Gene interviews Hogan & Savage. Hogan says their business has become combined, and they challenge Flair & Anderson to a tag match next week. Savage says they have secret weapons before Hogan calls the Giant "stinky." I almost forgot about that, it's been a while since he called him that. I wish he'd stop.

And that's about it. Overall, I'd say RAW was better. The RAW Bowl was fun and Mabel getting squashed is an automatic plus in my book. Nitro had a few good moments, but I can only put up with Hogan's bullsh*t for so long. I'm giving the point to RAW.

RAW: 6

Nitro: 11

Thanks for reading. Stay tuned for the next edition of RAW vs Nitro.