My Thoughts on SmackDown (2/7/17): Hell Has Frozen Over

Well...it's been a while. Yep, I had more computer issues, but now I'm back and back to writing. Let's get into this.

• We kick off the show with Daniel Bryan. He says he's grateful to be SmackDown's general manager before being interrupted by the Miz & Maryse. Miz mocks Bryan for having to retire last year and tells him to become a stay-at-home dad. Miz says Bryan can't wrestle anymore and wonders why he's in a WWE ring still. Bryan comes back, saying that not being able to wrestle hasn't stopped Miz from getting in a ring. Nice. Miz tries to talk, but the crowd cuts him off with "Yes!" chants. Baron Corbin comes out and tells Miz to shut up. Miz tries to make a deal with Corbin to team up in the Elimination Chamber match, but Corbin threatens to take him out of the match right now. Dean Ambrose comes out next and rags on Miz's big jacket and Corbin for taking the motorcycle sounds from his entrance music. He says he'll walk out of the chamber as both WWE Champion & Intercontinental Champion. AJ Styles is out next and says he has beaten all the men in the ring. The crowd chants his name, but Styles says he doesn't care about them, he cares about getting the WWE Championship back. Bryan steps in and books a fatal 4-way match tonight...right now.
• AJ Styles vs Dean Ambrose vs Baron Corbin vs The Miz with Maryse-Miz tries to convince Corbin to team up to start the match, but Corbin shuts him down. Miz rolls out of the ring before Corbin throws Styles out, leaving him & Ambrose in the ring. Ambrose clotheslines Corbin out of the ring before sending Miz out of the ring again. Styles goes for a quick Styles Clash, but Ambrose blocks it and tosses Styles out of the ring. Corbin drags Ambrose out of the ring and throws him into the steps before taking Miz into the ring. Corbin batters the Miz in the ring until Ambrose comes back in. Miz hits a snap DDT on Styles for a near fall before giving Ambrose & Styles some Daniel Bryan-style kicks. Ambrose avoids the last one and the three trade roll up attempts for a while. All four men go down on two double clothesline spots before the commercial break. We come back to see a Tower of Doom spot, with Corbin getting the better end of the move. Corbin hits a Deep Six on Miz. Styles gives Corbin a Pele Kick for a near fall before going for the Styles Clash on Miz. Miz powers out and gives Styles a running high knee. Ambrose gets back in the ring and runs wild on Miz & Styles before taking out Corbin with a suicide dive. Ambrose takes out everyone before hitting the diving elbow on Corbin back in the ring, only for Styles to break up the pin. Ambrose goes for the Lunatic Lariat, but Styles dodges and hits a reverse DDT out of a springboard for a near fall. Miz tries for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Styles avoids it and hits the Phenomenal Forearm. Styles goes for the cover, but Maryse pulls Miz out of the ring. This distraction allows Corbin to hit the End of Days on Styles for the win. Pretty good match.
• Luke Harper cuts a promo. He says Randy Orton stole his family and he wants to hurt him.
• We get an interview with Nikki Bella & Natalya. Nikki says Natalya is dead to her and Natalya says Nikki has no friends, she has followers. Natalya says she'll expose Nikki at Elimination Chamber and...stuff. I'm sorry, I know I'm normally more in depth but...this was lame. It was basically just both of them throwing catty insults at each other until Natalya says if she wasn't married she'd probably be with John Cena, which causes Nikki to leave.
• Dolph Ziggler vs Apollo Crews-Crews kicks off with a dropkick and tosses Ziggler into the corner. Ziggler comes back and hits a jumping DDT before calling for the superkick. Crews blocks it and rolls up Ziggler for the win. Immediately after that, Ziggler superkicks Crews in the back of the head and beats him down with a chair until Kalisto runs down to make the save. Kalisto goes for a Salida del Sol, but Ziggler blocks it and crotches him on the top rope. Ziggler grabs the chair and attacks Kalisto and Crews again before leaving.
• Backstage, Ziggler is confronted by Daniel Bryan. He criticizes Ziggler for throwing a tantrum everytime he loses, but Ziggler maintains that he can beat both Kalisto & Crews. Bryan then decides to book Ziggler in a 2-on-1 handicap match against Kalisto & Crews.
• It's time for a double contract, They all cut promos on each other before they brawl, ending with Naomi hitting a dive onto Mickie & Alexa.
• American Alpha, Breezango, Heath Slater, and Rhyno vs The Usos, The Ascension, and the Vaudevillians-Gable & English start off with Gable gaining the upper hand. English takes control quickly before going for a second rope senton bomb. Gable dodges it and tags in Jordan before the two take out everyone. They call for Grand Amplitude, but Tyler Breeze makes a blind tag on Jordan. Breezango gives both members of the Vaudevillians tandem enziguris before the babyfaces argue. After a commercial break, we come back to the Usos beating down Slater. The heels continue to beat down Slater until English & Viktor start to bicker, allowing Slater to tag in Rhyno. Rhyno runs wild on Viktor before everyone starts fighting. Chaos ensues, everyone gets their spots in before Jordan tosses Gable onto a pile outside. Rhyno calls for the Gore on Viktor, but Konnor jumps in the way and takes it himself, allowing Viktor to hit a diving high knee for...the win? I'm sorry, I must be confused...did the Ascension just win a match? I'm sorry...is this real life? Has Hell frozen over? 
• John Cena vs Randy Orton with Bray Wyatt-Cena controls the match to start and almost gets a quick Attitude Adjustment, but Orton avoids it and takes control. Cena eventually rolls out of the ring, where Orton follows him and throws him into the steps before the commercial break. We come back to see the two avoid each other's finishers before Orton hits an Uranage. Orton goes for the draping DDT, but Cena powers out and sends Orton to the outside. Cena tries to give Orton an AA through the announce table, but Orton avoids it and hits a side suplex onto the table. Back in the ring, the two trade blows before Cena hits a spinout powerbomb followed by the Five Knuckle Shuffle and an AA for a near fall. Cena goes to the top rope, but Orton hops up and hits a top rope draping DDT. Orton calls for the RKO and connects, but only gets a two count. Cena blocks another RKO attempt and goes for the AA again, but accidentally hits the referee and knocks him out of the ring. Cena locks in the STF, but Wyatt runs in and attacks Cena. Wyatt hits Sister Abigail on Cena before Luke Harper runs down to the ring. Wyatt tells him to leave, but Harper gives him a discuss clothesline instead. Harper then blocks an RKO from Orton and shoves him into an AA by Cena. The referee recovers and counts the three, giving Cena the win. Pretty boring match until the ending.