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Worst in the World: The Knockouts Gauntlet-One Night Only: Live! 2016

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TNA's One Night Only events have always confused me. The idea of taping a pay-per-view to air later doesn't make a lot of sense to me, especially when you're doing it months in advance. Also, having a bunch of matches with no build and zero stakes is just about as unenticing to spend money on as it gets. This was sort of corrected by doing a live One Night Only show once a year, but the lackluster matches were still present. All but three of the nine matches on the 2016 edition's card received a star or less from Dave Meltzer, with the worst-rated of them being an 8-Knockout Gauntlet match with a Knockouts Championship match on the line. If you've never seen a TNA gauntlet match, it's not like WWE's version. It's kind of like a Royal Rumble, only the final two have a singles match instead of trying to throw eachother over to the top rope. So with that out of the way, let's get into this.
Entrant #1 is Madison Rayne of the Beautiful People, who makes her entrance as Da Pope D'Angelo Dinero says she can win this match because she is "so sexy and hot...and talented." This all said while Pope is sitting next to Madison Rayne's real-life husband Josh Matthews. Something tells me the awkward silence following that line is not scripted. Following her is entrant #2; Jade (aka Mia Yim) from one of TNA's most inept stables, the Dollhouse. The match starts with Rayne dodging an immediate dropkick before taking Jade down with a headscissor takedown. After failing to get her over the top rope, Jade sends a charging Rayne over the top rope, only for Rayne to come back with a springboard nothing.
The two dodge each other's kicks until Jade connects with a spin kick. Jade spends the next minute trying to get Rayne over the top rope before entrant #3 comes out. It's Rebel from the Dollhouse, who is two months away from having the worst match of 2016. She runs down and quickly hits a spinning roundhouse kick. The Dollhouse beat down Rayne in-between trying to get her over the top rope. Rayne is able to fight them off long enough for entrant #4: Chelsea Green aka the future Laurel Van Ness or that physical therapist Daniel Bryan had an affair with (his Claire Lynch if you would.)
Chelsea runs wild on the Dollhouse, clotheslining and dropkicking them a bunch before hitting a sloppy Russian Leg Sweep. Chelsea tries to throw Rebel to the outside, but Rebel hangs on and takes the fight to Chelsea while Rayne and Jade go at it. Marti Belle comes out at #5 to complete the Dollhouse, quickly double-teaming Rayne with Jade before they hit the worst Total Elimination I've ever seen. They triple-team Chelsea in the corner with a handspring back elbow from Rebel, a running forearm from Belle, and a big boot from Jade before doing the exact same three moves to Rayne and posing. Deonna Purrazzo comes out at #6 and runs through the Dollhouse until she gets a boot from Jade. The Dollhouse try to run through those same three moves earlier, but Deonna dodges the handspring back elbow before we get three-separate catfight spots.
Rebel is the first one eliminated, tying herself up in the ropes as she tries to hop over the top rope before Chelsea pushes her down to the outside. Awesome Kong of the Dollhouse (Yeah, I don't know why) enters at #7 and runs Rayne, Chelsea, and Deonna before she mugs for the crowd. Chelsea and Deonna try to take the fight to Kong, only to get double chokeslammed and quickly eliminated by Kong. The Beautiful People's Velvet Sky is the 8th and final entrant, quickly taking Jade and Belle down with a bulldog-headscissor takedown combo. Sky follows up with a double bulldog before she and Rayne double team Kong.
Jade and Rayne go at it while Sky holds the top rope down so Belle can jump over it. Belle hangs on and just keeps hanging in place for 20 seconds so Rayne can knock her down. At the same time, Jade throws Sky onto the apron and knocks her to the outside, leaving Awesome Kong, Madison Rayne, and Jade as the final three. The Dollhouse beat down Rayne, with Rayne avoiding elimination throughout the beatdown. At this point, Kong opts to put Jade on her shoulders and swing her at Rayne.
This backfires as Rayne dropkicks Kong into the ropes, causing her to drop Jade onto the apron. Kong dodges a charging Rayne, only for Jade to get knockdown and eliminated. Now that it's one-on-one, it's a normal singles match. Kong locks in a cross-legged submission with no leverage or force before just going for the Implant Buster. Rayne fights out and tries to knock Kong down, finally doing it with a missile dropkick for a near fall. Rayne goes for a flying nothing and gets caught with a chokeslam by Kong, only to reverse it with a roll through for a near fall. Kong quickly follows up with a slow spinning back fist and the Implant Buster for the three and the win. Awesome Kong wins a shot at the Knockouts Championship...which she never gets because she got fired a month later.

The Verdict

It's really sloppy. Velvet Sky was the only person who didn't have a noticeably rough moment in this match, which is most likely because she was only in it for under three minutes. Chelsea and Deonna were both super green and it shows, Rebel and Marti Belle are just not good in general, and even Jade and Madison Rayne weren't as good as they normally are. Awesome Kong did nothing in her nine minutes of action, barely even moving throughout the match. On top of all that, this match is soul-crushingly boring. There are no exciting spots, no tense moments, no high energy spots, there was nothing. I didn't think you could make a battle royal boring, but this definitely proved me wrong.

Rankings (Best to Worst)

  1. Rick Rude vs Jake Roberts-WrestleMania IV
  2. Too Much vs Al Snow & Head-King of the Ring 1998
  3. Randy Orton vs Bray Wyatt-WrestleMania 33
  4. Vampiro vs Sting-Great American Bash 2000
  5. T&A vs Head Cheese-WrestleMania 2000
  6. Triple H vs Sgt. Slaughter-D-Generation X: In Your House
  7. Konnan vs One Man Gang-SuperBrawl VI
  8. Ultimate Warrior vs Hercules-WrestleMania IV
  9. Rick Rude vs Hawk-Clash of the Champions XXV
  10. Shelton Benjamin vs Viscera-New Year's Revolution 2006
  11. Steve McMichael vs Reggie White-Slamboree 1997
  12. The Tag Team Fatal 4-Way Match-WrestleMania 13
  13. Tag Team Battle Royal-WrestleMania XIV
  14. The Chamber of Horrors-Halloween Havoc 1991
  15. The Natural Disasters vs Money Inc.-WrestleMania VIII
  16. Ivan Koloff vs Paul Jones-Clash of the Champions IV
  17. ODB, Taylor Wilde, and Roxxi vs The Kongtourage-Genesis 2009
  18. Ivory vs Tori-SummerSlam 1999
  19. Nikita Koloff vs Bobby Eaton-Bunkhouse Stampede
  20. Alex Wright vs Steve McMichael-Halloween Havoc 1997
  21. Savio Vega vs Crush vs Faarooq-Ground Zero: In Your House
  22. Total Divas vs Other Divas-Survivor Series 2013
  23. The Oddities vs Kaientai-SummerSlam 1998
  24. Hulk Hogan vs Sid Justice-WrestleMania VIII
  25. Paul Ellering vs Teddy Long-Capital Combat
  26. Dusty Rhodes vs Big Boss Man-Saturday Night's Main Event (10/31/1989)
  27. Tyson Tomko vs Stevie Richards-Unforgiven 2004
  28. Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Hog Wild
  29. Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Souled Out 1997
  30. Dustin Rhodes & King Kong vs Awesome Kong & The Equalizer-Battlebowl
  31. Finlay & Little Bastard vs The Boogeyman & Little Boogeyman-No Way Out 2007
  32. Jake Roberts vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania V
  33. Yokozuna vs King Mabel-In Your House 4
  34. Dusty Rhodes vs The Honky Tonk Man-SummerSlam 1989
  35. Sting & Hawk vs Meng & Kurasawa-Clash of the Champions XXXI
  36. Hulk Hogan vs Randy Savage-Uncensored 1998
  37. Al Snow vs Big Boss Man-Unforgiven 1999
  38. Mickie James vs Ashley-Royal Rumble 2006
  39. Christy Hemme vs Big Fat Oily Guy-Against All Odds 2007
  40. Stevie Ray vs Konnan-World War 3 1998
  41. Vampiro vs The KISS Demon-Bash at the Beach 2000
  42. Team WCW vs nWo Wolfpac vs nWo Hollywood-Fall Brawl 1998
  43. Vampiro vs Oklahoma-Starrcade 1999
  44. Hulk Hogan vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania III
  45. Van Hammer vs Terrance Taylor-Clash of the Champions XVI
  46. Junkyard Dog vs Moondog Spot-Wrestling Classic
  47. The Undertaker vs Goldberg-Super ShowDown 2019
  48. Hiroshi Wajima vs Tom Magee-All Japan Pro Wrestling 1988
  49. Jim Duggan vs Big Boss Man-Royal Rumble 1990
  50. Meng vs Jim Duggan-Uncensored 1995
  51. Jim Steele vs The Equalizer-SuperBrawl IV
  52. D-Generation X vs Brothers of Destruction-Crown Jewel
  53. Wendi Richter vs Leilani Kai-WrestleMania
  54. Edge vs Triple H vs Vladimir Kozlov-Survivor Series 2008
  55. Kevin Sullivan vs Dave Sullivan-SuperBrawl V
  56. Steve McMichael vs Brian Adams-Road Wild 1998
  57. Scott Hall vs Roddy Piper-SuperBrawl IX
  58. PN News & Bobby Eaton vs Steve Austin & Terrance Taylor-Great American Bash 1991
  59. Scott Steiner vs Sid Vicious vs Jeff Jarrett vs Road Warrior Animal-Sin
  60. Hollywood Hogan vs Roddy Piper-SuperBrawl 1997
  61. Batista vs The Great Khali-SummerSlam 2007
  62.  Sable vs Tori-WrestleMania XV
  63. Super Invader vs Todd Champion-WrestleWar 1992
  64. King Kong Bundy & Jim Neidhart vs Yokozuna & Jake Roberts-Heroes of Wrestling
  65. Sid Vicious vs The Nightstalker-Clash of the Champions XIII
  66. The 8-Divas Tag Match-Survivor Series 1999
  67. The Fabulous Freebirds vs The Renegade Warriors-Halloween Havoc 1990
  68. The Knockouts Gauntlet-One Night Only: Live! 2016
  69. Rick Rude vs Masahiro Chono-Halloween Havoc 1992
  70. Mike Awesome vs Vampiro-Halloween Havoc 2000
  71. Bray Wyatt vs John Cena-Extreme Rules 2014
  72. Brothers of Destruction vs KroniK-Unforgiven 2001
  73. Mabel vs The Undertaker-King of the Ring 1995
  74. Wendi Richter vs The Fabulous Moolah-The Brawl to End it All
  75. David Flair vs Kimberly Page-Mayhem 1999
  76. The Truth Commission vs The Disciples of Apocolypse-Survivor Series 1997
  77. The Bushwhacker vs The Fabulous Rougeaus-WrestleMania V
  78. The Beverly Brothers vs The Bushwhackers-Royal Rumble 1992
  79. Teddy Long vs Eric Bischoff-Survivor Series 2005
  80. Greg Valentine vs George Steele-Heroes of Wrestling
  81. Abdullah the Butcher vs One Man Gang-Heroes of Wrestling
  82. Major Gunns vs Miss Hancock-New Blood Rising
  83. Bradshaw & Trish Stratus vs Christopher Nowinski & Jackie Gayda-RAW (7/8/2002)
  84. Triple H vs Scott Steiner-Royal Rumble 2003
  85. Hollywood Hogan vs The Warrior-Halloween Havoc 1998
  86. Mr. T vs Roddy Piper-WrestleMania 2
  87. The Royal Family vs Clowns R' Us-Survivor Series 1994
  88. The Blacktop Bully vs Dustin Rhodes-Uncensored 1995
  89. Pat Patterson vs Gerald Brisco-King of the Ring 2000
  90. The Four Doinks vs Team Bigelow-Survivor Series 1993
  91. Sting vs Jeff Hardy-Victory Road 2011
  92. Oz vs Tim Parker-SuperBrawl
  93. Ultimate Warrior vs Andre the Giant-Saturday Night's Main Event (11/25/1989)
  94. The Doomsday Cage Match-Uncensored 1996
  95. Kane vs The Undertaker-Judgement Day 1998
  96. Rebel vs Shelly Martinez-One Night Only: Knockouts Knockdown
  97. Kaitlyn vs Maxine-NXT (10/19/10)
  98. Sabu vs The Sandman-November to Remember 1997
  99. The Bushwhackers vs Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff-Heroes of Wrestling
  100. James Storm vs Chris Harris-Lockdown 2007
  101. John Laurinaitis vs John Cena-Over the Limit 2012
  102. Ultimate Warrior vs Goldust-In Your House 7
  103. Los Villanos vs Los Psycho Circus-Triplemania XXIII
  104. Jenna Morasca vs Sharmell-Victory Road 2009
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