Welcome back to another edition of RAW vs Nitro. Click here to read the last one if you missed it. So now, let's get into it, this is RAW vs Nitro #53!
But first! A quick recap of In Your House: Buried Alive, which took place the night before this episode of RAW.
- The Stalker (Barry Windham) defeated Justin Bradshaw in a dark match
- In a match between the King of the Ring and the guy who was supposed to be King of the Ring, Stone Cold Steve Austin beat Hunter Hearst Helmsley with the Stone Cold Stunner. During the match, Mr. Perfect would come down to ringside to try and walk away with Helmsley's valet for the night, but would end up getting into it with Austin, who audibly told him to "get the f*ck out of here." This would lead to Austin throwing a drink in Perfect's faceAlso, this is the night Stone Cold would debut his "Hell Frozen Over" entrance theme, complete with his iconic glass shatter sound effect.
- Owen Hart & The British Bulldog retained their WWF Tag Team Championships against the Smoking Gunns. The ending of this match is like something out of a bad 1930s comedy skit, as Bulldog hides behind Bart Gunn for an extended period of time and pulls him out of the way to prevent the Sidewinder.
This allows Hart to hit a spinning heel kick and pin Billy Gunn. - Heel Jim Ross' headset won't work, so he gets in the ring, fires some shots at Vince McMahon and his "butt kissers", and announces Bret Hart will be returning to the WWF on RAW tomorrow. He takes credit for bringing Bret Hart back and says Hart is going to "bury some people" tomorrow. Hunter Hearst Helmsley will be watching and taking notes. J.R heads to the back after his rant. Apparently, his equipment not working was legit
- Marc Mero retained the Intercontinental Championship against Goldust. Mr. Perfect was on commentary for this match, which ended up bringing Hunter Hearst Helmsley back out. The two have a stare down before Goldust tries to clock Perfect. Perfect strikes him first, allowing Mero to bring Goldust back in the ring and get the pin following a Samoan Drop and his beautiful Shooting Star Press called the Wild Thing.
- Sycho Sid became the #1 contender to the WWF Champion after beating Vader in a "battle of the powerbombs" which doesn't end with a powerbomb. Sid got the three after a chokeslam that could put the Taker/Goldberg one to shame.
Shawn Michaels, who was on commentary for the match, shakes hands with Sid following the win. - In the main event, The Undertaker and Mankind faced off in the first Buried Alive match. The Undertaker officially won the match after chokeslamming Mankind into the grave and beginning to bury him. As he continued to try to bury Mankind, Taker was hit in the back of the head with a shovel by a masked man (the Executioner aka Terry Gordy in a Halloween costume), who dug Mankind out of the grave and shoved Taker in. As the arena goes dark and thunder & lighting starts up in the arena, Mankind and the Executioner begin to bury Taker alive. Goldust, Crush, Justin Bradshaw, and Hunter Hearst Helmsley all run down to help bury Taker as Paul Bearer exclaims that he is gone forever. As the grave is finally filled, the thunder & lighting start up again. The extra heels run off before Mankind, Bearer, and the Executioner top off the grave. Before the show actually closes, lighting strikes the headstone and Taker's hand pops out from the grave.
- In a post-show dark match, the Godwinns beat the New Rockers
- In another dark match, Goldust took his second loss of the night, this time falling short to Shawn Michaels in a WWF Championship match.
RAW
RAW kicks off with video package hyping up the return of Bret Hart and the in-ring return of Mr. Perfect as he faces Hunter Hearst Helmsley.
Sycho Sid vs Owen Hart with Clarence Mason
The opening contest pits the #1 contender to the WWF Championship Sycho Sid against one-half of the WWF Tag Team Championships (and Slammy Award winner) Owen Hart. Despite the size difference between Sid & Hart, they end up having a fairly even, back and forth match. Midway through the match, Hart is able to dump Sid to the outside, which brings the British Bulldog down to ringside. Sid is able to block a punch from Bulldog and tries to chokeslam him, but Hart takes out Sid's knee with a chop block. Hart takes control of the match from this point, working over Sid's knee with the help of some cheap shots from Bulldog behind the referees back. Sid ends up being able to hit a chokeslam to take control of the match before calling for the powerbomb. However, Bulldog runs in and clotheslines Sid for the DQ before he can hit the powerbomb. Hart & Bulldog beat down Sid until Shawn Michaels runs down to make the save. Michaels & Sid clean house and send the Tag Team Champions packing. The two tease tension in the ring before fist bumping. As for the match, I thought it was fine enough. I know Sid isn't a great wrestler (or even a good one, really) and his non-existent babyface comeback is pretty lame and not exciting, but I thought this match was perfectly passable. Of course, having a perfectly passable match with Owen Hart isn't really something to brag about.
The Smoking Gunns vs The Godwinns with Hillbilly Jim
Following a quick recap of Buried Alive's main event, we get the Smoking Gunns taking on the Godwinns in tag team action. The Godwinns come down with adorable little piglets, one of which Jerry Lawler says peed on him. During the match, Billy Gunn pulls some heel moves out of his pocket, pulling the ropes down when Phineas Godwinn gets thrown towards him and beats him down behind the referees back. However, the Godwinns are able to win the match, throwing Bart Gunn into Billy on the apron before Henry Godwinn plants him with the Slop Drop. After the match, tensions rise between the Gunns. There was nothing of real note to talk about in this match.
We get a rundown of this year's WWF Hall of Fame inductees Pat Patterson, Jimmy Snuka, and Vincent J. McMahon. After that, we get a backstage attack from Hunter Hearst Helmsley, who rams an equipment box into Mr. Perfect.
It's Bret Hart time. After eight months, the Hitman is finally back in the WWF. He comes down to the ring to be interviewed by Jim Ross about his future. They do a great job of treating this as a big deal, even having other wrestlers gathered around a TV watching it in the back He says a "rival wrestling organization" made a great offer to him, but he's decided that he's sticking with the WWF, even saying he'll be with the WWF forever. Oh, the irony is strong with that one. He turns his attention to Shawn Michaels, saying he was beaten at WrestleMania 12 and has no excuses for it, but he says something about him bugs him. He says that some people might think Michaels is better and more popular than him, but that he'll never be tougher or smarter than him. Hart then turns his attention Stone Cold Steve Austin, accepting his challenge to face him at Survivor Series. This gets Brian Pillman very happy in the back, which earns him a death stare from Austin.
Hart tells Austin that we'll see who kicks who's ass at Survivor Series before saying the thing the WWF has been missing him for the last few months was him. He then tells the story of his nephew back in Canada. He was Hart's biggest fan and says he promised that if he made it through that night, he would come out of retirement. Unfortunately, he didn't make it. Hart says that after that happened, he wanted to be someone the children could look up to, throwing shade at Shawn Michaels by saying that he doesn't "pose for girly magazines." He ends by saying his catchphrase and gets a fireworks celebration.
We get a bracket run-down of the 2nd annual Karate Fighters tournament. That Karate Fighters money must've been too sweet to pass on. In the first round we Bob Backlund vs Sunny, Dok Hendrix vs Sable, Sycho Sid vs I've definitely lost you. There's no way anyone kept reading this. I could probably write anything I want here and nobody would notice that I'm not even talking about wrestling.
Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs Mr. Perfect with Marc Mero and Sable
It's the in-ring return of Mr. Perfect, who hasn't wrestled in almost three years...except NOPE! Thanks to Helmsley's sneak attack earlier in the night, Gorilla Monsoon is not allowing Perfect to wrestle tonight. Instead, Marc Mero has offered to take his place of his friend & mentor and wrestle Helmsley instead. Because he's not obligated to wrestle Mero and not Perfect, Monsoon offers to let Helmsley leave without wrestling. However, Helmsley agrees to the match, so long as Mero puts the Intercontinental Championship on the line. Perfect accepts for Mero, so now we've got an Intercontinental Championship match.
Marc Mero (c) with Sable vs Hunter Hearst Helmsley-Intercontinental Championship
The match starts during the commercial break, which would drive 2019 Vince McMahon insane just thinking about. Perfect takes a seat on commentary for this match, These two put on a solid, back and forth match before Helmsley throws Mero into the referee, knocking him down and out. Helmsley takes the opportunity to grab a chair and bring it into the ring. Perfect runs in to stop him...BUT IT'S A RUSE! Perfect smacks Mero in the face with the chair, allowing Helmsley to hit the Pedigree and get the three and the Intercontinental Championship as Sable shrieks. It was all a set-up that apparently included Perfect stealing all of Helmsley's valets for some reason. Helmsley & Perfect celebrate in the ring, beginning a partnership that would last all of TWO WEEKS before Perfect left the WWF. It looks like the burial thanks to the Curtain Call is finally over for the Man with Three Hs, but as one burial ends, another begins. This is basically it for Marc Mero's career in the WWF. Even though he'd stay in the fed until 1999, he'd quickly become the second fiddle to his wife's rise to stardom. It's kind of sad, I think Mero was a pretty good wrestler from what I've seen from these old RAWs and Nitros. He wasn't the biggest guy, but he was doing a lot of high flying that guys his size didn't normally do. Maybe he was just a little ahead of time.
But anyway, that's it for RAW. Onto Nitro.
Nitro
Bobby Eaton vs Chris Jericho
Nitro kicks off with the usual rundown from Tony Schiavone & Larry Zbyszko and we get a shot of Syxx & the nWo's Sting in the crowd in front of a nWo banner before the opening match, babyface Chris Jericho (who Syxx is facing at Halloween Havoc) and his awful entrance music taking on Bobby Eaton in some really high waisted tights.
It looks like he's wearing one of those Undertaker-style singlets, but somebody cut off his straps. As you can probably see already, Bobby Eaton is no longer in the Blue Bloods, hence the name and tights. They mentioned this two weeks ago, but I didn't think I'd be seeing Eaton on this show again so I didn't mention it. Apparently, he didn't like the way Lord Steven Regal & Dave Taylor treated their lackey Jeeves, which confused me because I'm pretty sure Eaton treated him like sh*t too. Anyway, even though Eaton is past his prime and Jericho hasn't hit his yet, this is still a pretty solid match. There are some points that are a bit sloppy, but it's still a solid back and forth match-up that you'd expect from guys like Eaton & Jericho. Jericho wins after hitting a jumping side kick followed by a missile dropkick for the three. After the match, Jericho gets interviewed by Tony Schiavone. He says he'll beat Syxx in a rambling promo. Seeing that, it's hard to believe this guy would be one of the best on the mic.
Dean Malenko vs Jimmy Graffiti
Oh who the f*ck is this guy. Last week, we got the Cheetah Kid, and this week we get "Jimmy Graffiti, a man who's own t-shirt spells his name wrong. Believe it or not, that's actually Jimmy Del Ray from the Heavenly Bodies. I don't know what prompted him to try out this gimmick, but I took one look at this guy with his misspelled name on his shirt and his jorts and paint covered hands and thought "what a goob." Oh yeah, his hands are covered in paint.
GET IT? BECAUSE YOU GRAFFITI THINGS WITH PAINT!...DO YOU GET IT! Vince Russo doesn't even work here yet. So, because it's Dean Malenko vs Jimmy Del Ray, this is another match that's pretty good. However, because it's Dean Malenko vs Jimmy F*cking Graffiti it's a match that should've ended quickly with Malenko murking this jobber back to Smokey Mountian Wrestling. Malenko takes way too much offense for what should be a jobber squash match before finally getting the submission win with the Cloverleaf. This win earns Malenko the "Pepboys Power Pin of the Week"...this submission win...won "Power PIN of the Week." WCW, man.
Diamond Dallas Page vs Sgt. Craig Pittman with Teddy Long
Craig Pittman got pyro during his entrance...what. DDP takes advantage of Teddy Long staying on the ring apron for too long, shoving Pittman into him and beating down Pittman. Page doesn't give Pittman and squashes him, even dropping an elbow right on his dick.
Pittman is able to mount some offense when the fight goes to the outside and actually locks in the Code Red armbar. Long, like an idiot, distracts Nick Patrick by hoping up on the apron, allowing DDP to reach the ropes despite verbally submitting. Page quickly puts Pittman away with the Diamond Cutter. Long argues with Patrick after the fact, even though HE'S THE ONE WHO DISTRACTED HIS OWN MAN! Patrick leaves the ring and is informed by Tony Schiavone that DDP gave up. Patrick, correctly, says he was distracted by Teddy Long and didn't hear DDP submit. Schiavone again accuses Patrick of being the nWo's masked referee, but Patrick denies it again, saying that he's in "twice the shape" the masked man is and again accuses fellow referee Randy Anderson. He threatens Schiavone, reminding him of what happened to the last announcer who accused him. I still have no idea what he's talking about.
Jeff Jarrett vs Ron Studd
IT'S THE YETAY! I know that's not a thing anymore, but I can't help it. I can't see Ron Studd as anything other than THE YETAY! Before the match starts, Ric Flair comes down to the ring. He clears a path for Jarrett to do his strut before doing a strut of his own. Jarrett struts again...and gets booed. Flair struts again and gets big cheers. The two go face to face before shaking hands. Flair leaves before the match finally starts. Aside from a double-handed chokeslam from Studd, this match is all Jarrett, who wins after locking in the figure-four leg lock. After the match, we get another Tony Schiavone interview with Jeff Jarrett. He says it's time for him to put up or shut up and for WCW to go on the offensive. He says Harlem Heat will take out Scott Hall & Kevin Nash, Randy Savage will take out Hulk Hogan, and he'll deal with the Giant. Ric Flair pops up again, says the nWo played dirtier than he did and says after he gets finished with his shoulder surgery, he'll be in the corner of Jarrett. He ends by saying the Four Horsemen will kick the nWo's ass before shaking hands with Jarrett again.
This brings on hour 2 of Nitro. Cue the unnecessary pyro.
Lex Luger vs Road Block
Meet Road Block.
He's 6'10, 350 pounds, carries a literal roadblock to the ring, and dresses like a traffic cone. He's literally one match into his WCW career at this point. He would go on to wrestler just five times on Nitro, only once on pay-per-view (World War 3 1996), becomes the third win in Goldberg's streak, and would inspire a lame B-level WWE pay-per-view. Here, he faces Lex Luger in his first Nitro match. During the match, we get a picture-in-picture promo with Arn Anderson. He says Luger can do amazing things, but not to him and says he'll make Luger say he quits at Halloween Havoc. So, considering his opponent's size. The whole story of this match is whether or not Luger can put Road Block in the Torture Rack. After an uneventful back and forth match, Luger bodyslams Road Block and goes for the Torture Rack. Luger gets him up, but Road Block slips out...so Luger does it again...but drops him. The third time's the charm as he gets Road Block up and wins via submission.
The American Males vs Harlem Heat with Col. Rob Parker and Sister Sherri
Following another "On the Road Report with Lee Marshal" or whatever, we get a match that you can probably guess the finish of without watching the match. Stevie Ray and Scotty Riggs start off with some solid back and forth offense before the American Males hit a double team move. Despite a blatant hip toss over the top rope by Marcus Bagwell to Booker T, there's no DQ because the enforcement of that rule is about as strict as boy's high school dress code. The American Males are able to get a good amount of offense until the world's worst referee Nick Patrick misses a cheap shot by Stevie Ray. Around this time, Scott Hall & Kevin Nash pop up in the crowd, mocking Harlem Heat by wearing Breathe Right strips. The finish, as usual, features both of Harlem Heat's managers distracting Riggs, allowing Booker to hit the Harlem Side Kick. Stevie Ray makes the cover and gets the three. Two manager distractions and a cheap shot were needed to beat the AMERICAN MALES. Come on, man.
The Faces of Fear with Jimmy Hart vs The Fantastics
The Fantastics, like Bobby Eaton, are way past their prime for this match. Luckily, this match actually serves its purpose and makes the Faces of Fear look strong. Meng & Barbarian dominate the majority of the match before Barbarian catches Tommy Rogers off a crossbody, lets Meng kick him in the head, and throws him down for the win.
nWo Sting vs Mr. JL
It's imposter Sting vs Jerry Lynn in a mask. During his entrance, JL does a low metal scream, which I have since learned was apparently a thing he tried getting over multiple times. Spoiler alert: it never got over. As nWo Sting makes his way down to the ring, the rest of the nWo comes down through the crowd to ringside. Sting dominates the match and locks in the Scorpion Death Lock. However, just as he does, someone comes down the ramp...the real Sting! Sting grabs fake Sting by the hair and hits a reverse DDT, so to be called the Scorpion Death Drop. Despite their Sting getting beat down, the nWo does nothing as Sting drops a few elbows, hits the Stinger Splash, and locks nWo Sting in the Scorpion Death Lock. The rest of the nWo finally gets in the ring, where DiBiase welcomes the real Sting back. They offer him a spot in the nWo and all plead their cases for him, all as Sting keeps a devilish smile on his face. Sting finally gives them their answer...which is no answer. He says the only thing that is for sure about him is nothing's for sure and leaves the ring.
Chris Benoit vs Randy Savage
Man, just the idea of that makes me pumped. Unfortunately, Savage shows up in his street clothes. Well, "street clothes" might be a stretch. He's looking more like a mix of the Macho Man and the Undertaker.
Eric Bischoff leaves the commentary table to get a word with Savage. He apologizes for last week...then shows him another video. This time, it's a video from behind the scenes of 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountian. How anyone was expected to take Hulk Hogan seriously in this promo when he's dressed like this:
is beyond me. Hogan tells the film's director Sean McNamara that the nWo is taking over the production, and now the Giant is directing the film. Hogan tries to force Miss Elizabeth to say she loves Savage still. She begs him to stop before Hogan has the Giant force her into his trailer. In his trailer, Hogan talks down to Elizabeth before Hogan tells Savage he's leading Elizabeth down the nWo way. Back to Savage & Bischoff, where Savage is again speechless and starts to walk to the back. However, Savage comes back and talks about how friendships, relationships, and even marriages are fragile. He ends by telling Hogan that life is fragile before walking off. Bischoff tries to get him to come back, but Savage walks off to close the show. This is another fantastic segment with Savage. It might not be as great as some of his more famous promos, but how subdued and serious he comes off makes for some great, chilling mic work.
And that's it. Nitro by a country mile this week. The matches were better, the closing segment with Savage was incredible, and overall, the show was just more engaging. The return of Bret Hart was great and the main event was solid, but so much of RAW just feels like there's no effort put into making it great. It's just...a show. Point to Nitro again.
RAW: 20
Nitro: 33
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