Welcome back to another edition of RAW vs Nitro. Click here to read the last one if you missed it. Last time, Brian Pillman almost murdered Stone Cold Steve Austin...not really sure how that can be topped. So now, let's get into it, this is RAW vs Nitro #56!
RAW
Owen Hart & The British Bulldog (c) with Clarence Mason vs Sycho Sid & Shawn Michaels with Jose Lothario-WWF Tag Team Championships
RAW opens with the tag team championship match that was set up two weeks ago. Before the match actually starts, we get a picture in picture promo from Stone Cold Steve Austin. He says he won't apologize for what happened last week and says that after he's done with Bob Holly, he'll go find Bret Hart and put him in the Sharpshooter. As for this match, it's a really good opener for the show. Three of the four guys in this match are really good workers and the fact that they're in the ring for the majority of the time is definitely for the best. Additionally, Michaels is a great babyface in peril, getting beaten down for a long time and making Bulldog & Hart look great in the process. But of course, Michaels eventually gets the hot tag after Bulldog holds him in place for a missile dropkick from Hart, only for him to dodge it and cause Bulldog to take the hit. Sid runs wild, hits a lazy chokeslam on Bulldog and goes for the powerbomb, but Hart distracts him long enough for Bulldog to power out. All four men brawl until HBK goes for Sweet Chin Music on Bulldog. However, Bulldog dodges it and Sid has to sprint into the friendly fire.
Bulldog makes the cover and gets the three as Hart pulls Michaels out of the ring for a brawl. It's a good match, but the ending is very predictable. You knew they weren't going to put the belts on Michaels & Sid, and of course, the way they went about having them lose without really losing was basically the same way they split up Michaels and Diesel. After the match, Hart lays out Michaels with an enziguri before he, Bulldog, and Mason leave.
Following a commercial break, Kevin Kelly is backstage, saying that Michaels and Sid had to be separated and put in separate locker rooms by officials. He says he'll get interviews with both of them before Dok Hendrix runs down the Survivor Series card. One of the matches he announces is another 8-man Survivor Series match, pitting the team of Faarooq, Vader, "Razor Ramon", and "Diesel" against the team of Savio Vega, Yokozuna, the debuting Flash Funk (aka 2 Cold Scorpio) and a mystery partner. I think the real mystery is how Yokozuna is still here. For context, here's what Yokozuna has done in the last five and a half months.
Bulldog makes the cover and gets the three as Hart pulls Michaels out of the ring for a brawl. It's a good match, but the ending is very predictable. You knew they weren't going to put the belts on Michaels & Sid, and of course, the way they went about having them lose without really losing was basically the same way they split up Michaels and Diesel. After the match, Hart lays out Michaels with an enziguri before he, Bulldog, and Mason leave.
Following a commercial break, Kevin Kelly is backstage, saying that Michaels and Sid had to be separated and put in separate locker rooms by officials. He says he'll get interviews with both of them before Dok Hendrix runs down the Survivor Series card. One of the matches he announces is another 8-man Survivor Series match, pitting the team of Faarooq, Vader, "Razor Ramon", and "Diesel" against the team of Savio Vega, Yokozuna, the debuting Flash Funk (aka 2 Cold Scorpio) and a mystery partner. I think the real mystery is how Yokozuna is still here. For context, here's what Yokozuna has done in the last five and a half months.
- In Your House 8: Beware of Dog on May 28th: Returns from a leg break caused by Vader as a babyface. Beats Vader.
- RAW on June 10th: Lost a King of the Ring 1st Round match to Owen Hart, still a babyface (see RAW vs Nitro #36)
- Literally disappears for two months.
- SummerSlam on August 18th: Does the job to Steve Austin on the pre-show
- RAW on August 19th: Out of nowhere, re-joins Camp Cornette (the same group as his rival Vader) with no explanation, turning heel apparently, loses to Shawn Michaels. (see RAW vs Nitro #46)
- Disappears again for almost three months.
- RAW on November 11th: Gets announced for Survivor Series, as a babyface, to face a team with his rival Vader on it.
What is happening? What a confusing five and a half months. Hendrix also announces another 8-man Survivor Series match pitting the Godwinns and the debuting Doug Furnas & Phil LaFon taking on Owen Hart, the British Bulldog, and the New Rockers.
Mankind with Paul Bearer and the Executioner vs Freddie Joe Floyd
Unsurprisingly, Mankind squashes Freddie Joe Floyd as the Executioner looks on with a look that screams "I'm not entirely sure what to do."
Mankind picks up the win following a stump piledriver where he gives Floyd a massive wedgie (which I won't be showing you because you don't need to see Tracy Smothers' bare ass. You're welcome) and the Mandible Claw for the submission win. Following the match, the gong sounds...the lights dim...and the GOD DAMN DUMMY PAUL BEARER LOWERS DOWN IN A CAGE.
OH MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY BROUGHT THAT OUT AGAIN! IT LOOKS SO BAD! I mean, I guess it's not too bad, as long as they don't show a close-up of it...which is exactly what they do.
Jesus Christ. The WWF had to have burned their bridge with whoever made the fake Diesel in the casket a year ago because there's no other way I can explain how someone thought this was a good fake body double. Bearer looks away as the Undertaker's voice comes over the sound system. He says a new age of darkness begins at Survivor Series, that the only thing to expect is the unexpected, and that the dummy is only the beginning of his torment & torture.
Mankind picks up the win following a stump piledriver where he gives Floyd a massive wedgie (which I won't be showing you because you don't need to see Tracy Smothers' bare ass. You're welcome) and the Mandible Claw for the submission win. Following the match, the gong sounds...the lights dim...and the GOD DAMN DUMMY PAUL BEARER LOWERS DOWN IN A CAGE.
OH MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY BROUGHT THAT OUT AGAIN! IT LOOKS SO BAD! I mean, I guess it's not too bad, as long as they don't show a close-up of it...which is exactly what they do.
Jesus Christ. The WWF had to have burned their bridge with whoever made the fake Diesel in the casket a year ago because there's no other way I can explain how someone thought this was a good fake body double. Bearer looks away as the Undertaker's voice comes over the sound system. He says a new age of darkness begins at Survivor Series, that the only thing to expect is the unexpected, and that the dummy is only the beginning of his torment & torture.
We get another Hall of Fame rundown, showcasing more of this year's inductees including Killer Kowalski and the Valiant Brothers. Following that, we get hype package for the debut of Rocky Maivia. And by "Rocky Maivia" I mean it because this is about as far from the Rock as you can get. A green as grass Maivia talks about his family's legacy along with clips of him training and inducting his father into the Cauliflower Alley Club. He says he plans on making his own name in wrestling and hoping to look back and say that he gave 110% and became the best.
Backstage, Kevin Kelly says he's got an interview with Sycho Sid, who is angerly grunting in the background before kicking a trashcan. Following a commercial, Kelly interviews Sid, who half-shouts, half-whispers his promo. Sid still thinks Shawn Michaels hit him with the chair last week. Could he not just, like, watch the show to see that Owen Hart hit him? He doubts that Michaels' hitting him with Sweet Chin Music was an accident and says that at Survivor Series, he'll end his reign as WWF Champion. He ends by saying that he's the MASTER AND THE RULER...of the world.
Stone Cold cuts a promo, saying he's going to teach Bob Holly a wrestling lesson tonight and that it won't take him long to beat him. He turns his attention to Bret Hart, saying he knows he's watching and that their match at Survivor Series is the biggest match of Hart's life. He then says that after he's done with Holly, he'll find Hart and says they won't have to wait until Survivor Series.
Before the main event, it's the next match-up in the Karate Fighters tournament; Sable vs Dok Hendrix. Sable wins...that's it. Following that, Kevin Kelly interviews Shawn Michaels, who cuts a really good promo. He says that everyone (including Sid and Bret Hart) who's tried to knock him as champion have all been beaten by him and says that kicking him tonight was an accident, but it won't be Survivor Series. He says he wants Sid to respect him, and he'll beat it out of him if he has to.
Steve Austin vs Bob Holly
This seems like it should be a quick one right? Wrong. This match, pitting one guy who's in one of the marquee matches at Survivor Series and another who's not on the main card and used to be called "Sparky Plugg", goes on for 8 MINUTES! And no, it's not competitive. The only offense Holly has is his babyface comeback which barely gets a reaction before Austin quits f*cking around and hits the Stunner and gets the three. I get that you need to build up Austin for this...but having him go eight minutes with Bob Holly is not the way to do it. A 2-minute match gives you the same result and makes Austin look better because he won so quickly. Long story short, this was poor. After the match, Austin makes his way backstage to find Hart, who they showed throughout the match in a picture-in-picture watching this match. He finds Hart's locker room and threatens to enter...but doesn't. He says he won't do it because he won't give away the ass-kicking for free. Instead, he threatens Hart through the door and says that Survivor Series will be the end of the legend of Bret Hart.
Well, that's it for RAW. Onto Nitro.
Nitro
Nitro kicks off with the normal run-down from Tony Schiavone and Larry Zbyszko, who both mention that there haven't been any Sting sightings yet tonight.
Chris Benoit with Woman vs Jeff Jarrett
Tonight's opening match pits Horseman against wannabe Horseman. After Benoit & Steve McMichael rejected the idea that Jarrett is part of the Horseman during last week's embarrassing interview, Jarrett is trying to prove he belongs by beating Benoit tonight. Before the match, Kevin Sullivan cuts another picture-in-picture promo that is super uncomfortable shoot-wise. As to be expected, this match is pretty great. Everyone knows Benoit is among the best in-ring wise, and Jarrett isn't really on his level on a technical aspect, but he's still more than capable of having a good match. Put them together and it's a very fun watch. The matter of respect angle then went with really adds to the match, especially when the two trade ground-and-pound moments throughout. Unlike the quality of this match, one thing that wasn't expected is the finish. Jarrett suplexes Benoit from the apron to the outside before strutting in the ring. Literally out of nowhere, Sting appears and, as payback for calling him out last week, gives Jarrett the Scorpion Death Drop for the DQ. I mean...yeah, he kind of deserved it. Woman tries to convince Benoit to help Jarrett, saying that they don't know about Sting, but they know Jarrett is on their side. Are you sure about that? Sting's done nothing but be on WCW's side this whole time. The only reason he's stopped coming to work and started watching the Crow all the time is because everyone said he was in the nWo. Benoit brushes that off initially, only to pull Jarrett up by his hair.
While I'm on the topic of Sting, the cheek of WCW, man. During this match, they showed an ad for World War 3 where they definitely advertised that Sting was gonna be in the 60-Man Battle Royal. Obviously, Sting wasn't going to be in this match. Hell, they couldn't even just throw nWo Sting in there as a bait-and-switch, this is just...bait.
Tony Schiavone starts saying something about Ric Flair's recovery process before someone runs over with a package. In it are a tape and note, mentioning Hulk Hogan & Roddy Piper. Following that, we get back Flair's recovery. The doctor says a torn rotator cuff takes about four months to recover and says Flair will be back.
Malia Hosaka vs Zero with Sonny Onoo
Yeah, that's not spelled right. Last week, Zero popped up during Madusa's match, and now she's making her Nitro debut in the inaugural WCW Women's Championship (or "Ladies' Championship" as Schiavone keeps calling it) tournament's first round. She also comes down to the ring with the AAAW Heavyweight Championship, which is the top prize in Japan's GAEA promotion (aka where most of the women in this tournament are from.) The match is a total squash, with Zero no-selling all of Hosaka's offense as the crowd is deathly quiet. Zero wins after a hitting a crucifix powerbomb. Sonny Onoo then takes pictures of Zero and her belt with his disposable camera.
Mean Gene Okerlund interviews Diamond Dallas Page at the entrance ramp. He asks about his involvement with the nWo. They actually make reference to Page's past with both Scott Hall and Kevin Nash when they were the Diamond Studd and Vinne Vegas, respectively. He says doesn't need anyone helping him before Hall & Nash both show up. DDP says he doesn't need them getting involved in his matches, but Hall still offers him a spot in the nWo. Page scoffs at the idea of being the group's eighth choice (technically 10th), but Nash says they didn't offer because Page is friends with Eric Bischoff. Page takes that as Nash saying he's getting things he doesn't deserve. The two continue to argue as Okerlund sends it to commercial. So I guess DDP won't be changing his name to "Eyght" anytime soon. This is actually a really good promo with some really sound logic. Of course, someone like Page would be offended by being the eighth person asked to be a part of something and the way he responds to being treated like he hasn't earned his spot in WCW sets up a huge babyface turn.
Rey Mysterio vs Ciclope
This match is full of people watching it. First, there's Ultimo Dragon, who's defending his J-Crown Championship against Mysterio at World War 3, and his manager Sonny Onoo. The J-Crown is literally the best idea for a championship in wrestling. It's a combination of eight cruiserweight/junior heavyweight championships (most notably the IWGP Junior Heavyweight and the original WWF Light Heavyweight Championship) but instead of one single unified belt, the champion would just carry all eight titles with him. That might sound strange, but in my opinion, there's no better way to make a wrestler look credible than to have him literally covered in championships.
The second is Dean Malenko, who stays at the entrance ramp and takes notes on attires he can wear if he really needs them. Psicosis decides to take a different approach and watches Malenko watch the match from behind him.
Back to the match, it's pretty good. There are better Lucha matches that have happened on Nitro, but this is still a lot of fun and something that's definitely worth watching. The finish is great, with Ciclope catching Mysterio off a springboard moonsault for a Tombstone Piledriver. He goes to the top rope, but Mysterio dropkicks his leg out from under him before hitting a crazy headscissor takeover to the outside. Mysterio rolls Ciclope back in the ring and hits the West Coast Pop for the three and the win. After the match, Malenko turns around and sees Psicosis, who then leaves.
The second is Dean Malenko, who stays at the entrance ramp and takes notes on attires he can wear if he really needs them. Psicosis decides to take a different approach and watches Malenko watch the match from behind him.
Back to the match, it's pretty good. There are better Lucha matches that have happened on Nitro, but this is still a lot of fun and something that's definitely worth watching. The finish is great, with Ciclope catching Mysterio off a springboard moonsault for a Tombstone Piledriver. He goes to the top rope, but Mysterio dropkicks his leg out from under him before hitting a crazy headscissor takeover to the outside. Mysterio rolls Ciclope back in the ring and hits the West Coast Pop for the three and the win. After the match, Malenko turns around and sees Psicosis, who then leaves.
The Outsiders and Syxx come down to the ring flanked by guys with signs. They say they're taking invading the CableACE Awards before saying they want this to become nWo Monday Nitro. They make their way to the commentary table where Scott Hall gets into it with Larry Zbyszko. They repeat a lot of stuff before Nash says that Nitro will be their's in a few weeks and that Schiavone & Zbyszko will be out of jobs.
Scott Norton vs Lex Luger
Hour 2 of Nitro kicks off with Lex Luger facing Scott Norton, fresh off his victory with Shinya Hashimoto in New Japan Pro Wrestling's Super Grade Tag League (the World Tag League nowadays.) During the match, Arn Anderson cuts a picture-in-picture promo saying he made the mistake of thinking Luger couldn't get mad and on when they face off again he'll take him down. Later in the match, Sting appears in the crowd again. There really isn't much worth watching here. It's a pretty slow, uneventful match that ends with Luger dodging a flying nothing from Norton before locking the Torture Rack for the submission win. Following his win, Luger gets interviewed in the ring by Mean Gene Okerlund. He says WCW is at it's darkest hour and asks for forgiveness from Sting for not trusting him in WarGames.
The Amazing French Canadians with Col. Rob Parker vs Harlem Heat with Sister Sherri
This match comes about after Parker came down to ringside during Harlem Heat's match with the French Canadians on Saturday Night. Sherri would punch Parker, which led to both Booker T and Stevie Ray beating up Parker. So now, he's managing the Amazing French Canadians. Midway through the match, we go to back to see security refusing to let the Nasty Boys in the building. They go to a split-screen as the Nastys walk away where they are confronted by Ed Leslie, aka Brutus Beefcake and THE BOOTY MAN! They talk as the match gets thrown out via a lot of chaos, with an enraged Sherri screaming that she'll kill Parker. Well...that escalated quickly.
Konnan vs Chris Jericho
Because of the last two weeks where Jericho came out and accused Nick Patrick of being in the nWo and faking his injury, Patrick has added f*cking with him to his to-do list on Nitro. It's mostly just going down slow for Jericho's pinfalls until the finish. After nearly colliding with Patrick, Konnan dropkicks Jericho into Patrick, who calls for the DQ win for Konnan. Even without the DQ finish, this match was not good. It's pretty sloppy at times with some obvious botches. Not what you'd expect from guys like Jericho and Konnan.
Juventud Guerrera vs Miguel Perez
There's literally no time in between the last match and this one, as after a commercial break we go right into Juventud Guerrera rushing the ring and attacking a future member of Los Boricuas. Also, Miguel Perez seems to be the hairiest man to ever wrestle.
It's a quick match that ends with Perez getting a shock win with a roll-up. This match is a lot of fun, these two go all out for the entirety of the match and don't slow down for even a second. They're out there doing powerbombs on the outside and busting out Space Flying Tiger Drops in the death spot and it's great.
It's a quick match that ends with Perez getting a shock win with a roll-up. This match is a lot of fun, these two go all out for the entirety of the match and don't slow down for even a second. They're out there doing powerbombs on the outside and busting out Space Flying Tiger Drops in the death spot and it's great.
Following that match, Ted DiBiase and Vincent pop up in the crowd and call out to Sting. He thanks him for taking out Jarrett and offer him a spot in the nWo again.
The Faces of Fear with Jimmy Hart vs The American Males
Immediate brawl to start this match before the Faces of Fear beat down Marcus Bagwell for the majority of the match. Eventually, Scotty Riggs gets the hot tag, but the Faces of Fear pick up the win after some tag team dissension. Bagwell tripped up Barbarian as Riggs was going for a dropkick. This caused Riggs to miss and take a Savate Kick from Meng and get covered for the three and the win for the Faces of Fear, with Bagwell not trying to break up the fall. Right after the match, Jimmy Hart grabs a mic and complains about the Nasty Boys getting a title shot at World War 3. I mean...he's not wrong. They really haven't done anything to earn a title match. Hell, they just tried to join the nWo, so WCW's giving them a title shot because of that? It makes no sense. Hart says the Faces of Fear are the real #1 contenders to the tag team championships and says they should make that match at World War 3 a triangle match.
Nitro closes with the tape from earlier in the show. According to Bischoff, the note says that the tape was "a hit in Europe in 1992" and that the tape shows that Piper wants Hogan. So they play it and...it's a music video.
And this isn't like a diss track or anything like that, this is most definitely a love song. Like, these are the lyrics of the chorus.
And this isn't like a diss track or anything like that, this is most definitely a love song. Like, these are the lyrics of the chorus.
"And if you're looking for someone that will treat you right
and never cheat on you and never tell you lies.
Honey if that's your plan.
I'm your man.
And if you want somebody gonna love you best
until forever baby, and forget the rest.
Cause honey I'm the only one that can.
I'm your man."
I guess when the note said he wanted Hogan it meant he really wanted Hogan. They play the entirety of this music video before Bischoff makes note of the shots in the video showing this marquee.
They take this as Piper wanting to face Hogan, completely ignoring the fact that this was in the middle of love song's music video. Heenan theorizes that Piper had the fan hop the barricade to give them this tape as the nWo show up. Outcomes Hulk Hogan, the Giant, Ted DiBiase, Vincent and Miss Elizabeth in a Santa outfit.
Hogan demands a spotlight and says that Santa with Muscles is wiping everyone out at the box office. I know he's a heel and exaggerating, but man, that's not even like 5% true. He says Piper doesn't want any of him (did he not see that music video?) before he poses for the crowd for the third week in a row.
They take this as Piper wanting to face Hogan, completely ignoring the fact that this was in the middle of love song's music video. Heenan theorizes that Piper had the fan hop the barricade to give them this tape as the nWo show up. Outcomes Hulk Hogan, the Giant, Ted DiBiase, Vincent and Miss Elizabeth in a Santa outfit.
Hogan demands a spotlight and says that Santa with Muscles is wiping everyone out at the box office. I know he's a heel and exaggerating, but man, that's not even like 5% true. He says Piper doesn't want any of him (did he not see that music video?) before he poses for the crowd for the third week in a row.
And that's about it. I got to say, Nitro takes it this week. RAW is pretty much held up by Stone Cold at this point, and this episode didn't really see anything special from him. All he did was have a lame match with Bob Holly and sort of threatening Bret Hart without doing anything. Nitro fell off towards the end but most of the show was enjoyable enough with a couple of good matches in between. Point to Nitro this week.
RAW: 22
Nitro: 34
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