RAW
RAW opens with Vader standing two inches from the camera, saying that tonight, Bret Hart will find out that it's Vader time.
Owen Hart with Clarence Mason vs Mankind with Paul Bearer
Right off the bat, Hart hits a belly-to-belly suplex before beating down Mankind and nearly locks in the Sharpshooter, only for Mankind to quickly get to the ropes. Mankind responds by pulling at Hart's face and beating him down in the corner. Hart then tries to neutralize the Mandible Claw, biting and stomping on Mankind's hand until both of them fly out of the ring off a Cactus Clothesline. Mankind tries to hit Hart with a chair, but Hart counters by hitting Mankind with his Slammy Award in plain view of the referee. No DQ, for some reason, as Hart follows up with a front suplex onto the guard rail. Hart then hits Mankind with his Tag Team Championship belt, which also doesn't get him a DQ. What is this, WCW? Back in the ring, Hart controls the match, beating down Mankind until the fight goes back out to ringside. Mankind throws Hart into the guardrail before hitting him with a container. You apparently have to commit actual murder if you want a DQ. The two go back and forth until Mankind locks in the Mandible Claw, only for Hart to break it and hit a spinning wheel kick. Hart charges at Mankind in the corner, but he dodges and sends him into the ring post. Mankind follows with the Stump Piledriver for the three and the win in a match that was a lot of fun. Even if the rules were abused & ignored to no end, this was an entertaining, easy to watch brawl and a great way to open up RAW.
Vince McMahon interviews Shawn Michaels and the returning Jose Lothario, accompanied by his son Pete. Lothario says he's doing better since Survivor Series and that he wants to stay in the corner of Michaels before guaranteeing that Michaels will win the WWF Championship back. Michaels says that Sycho Sid has upset the whole Lothario family and himself before saying that nothing Sid throws at him at the Royal Rumble will keep him down. When asked about Bret Hart vs Vader tonight, he confirms he'll be on commentary and "promises" not to interfere.
"Diesel & Razor Ramon" vs Doug Furnas & Phil LaFon
The Honky Tonk Man is on commentary for this match, still looking for his protégé. This match begs the question: can a team as good as Furnas & LaFon get a good match out of a team as bad as Fake Razor & Diesel. The answer...yeah, actually. The imposters get the heat on Furnas for a long time until Furnas dodges a charging Diesel before dropkicking him into the corner. LaFon gets the hot tag and runs wild on the fakes, flooring Diesel with a series of kicks for a near fall. Diesel is able to counter a flying nothing with a big boot before tagging in Razor, who quickly takes an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. Furnas tags in, only to quickly get caught with a clothesline from Razor. Razor goes for the Blade Outskirt, but a chop to the back from LaFon allows Furnas to counter it and hit a Frankensteiner. Diesel breaks up the fall, but LaFon quickly clotheslines him out of the ring before he & Furnas hit a diving clothesline/spinebuster combo for the three and the win. Pretty good match, a lot better than I was expected. Fake Razor actually looked like a competent wrestler here, which I definitely wasn't expecting.
Vince McMahon interviews Bret Hart. He says that he hopes Shawn Michaels interferes in his match tonight (probably so he can beat him up) before saying that Vader is stupid and he's going to make a mistake, which he'll capitalize on. He is interrupted by Sycho Sid's music playing, which prompts him to shake his head and walks away.
Jim Ross interviews Sycho Sid in the ring. You know, for someone who's not very good at promos, they have Sid cut a lot of promos. He says he's not intimidated by Shawn Michaels' hometown advantage at the Royal Rumble and calls the ring the dying field. He then says that it's hit or be "hitten" and it's kick or be "kicken." Every Sid promo I watch just makes the "Half the brain" promo he had make more sense. He says he was born the man and says that, with the odds against him, he'll leave the Royal Rumble still the WWF Champion. He is interrupted by Shawn Michaels and Jose Lothario. Michaels gets up on the announce table, takes off his trench coat, and dances, prompting Sid to apologize for what he's going to do. Sid leaves as HBK's music hits again.
Bret Hart vs Vader
No Jim Cornette accompanying Vader to the ring this week, as he took a Tombstone Piledriver from the Undertaker on Superstars the previous night. The match quickly goes to the outside, where Hart throws Vader into the ring steps before hitting an elbow drop off the steps. Back in the ring, Hart dominates the match until Vader floors him with a body block. Vader follows up with a diving clothesline from the second rope before we see Steve Austin in the back watching the match. Vader controls the match until he wastes too much time teasing a Vadersault, allowing Hart to block a Vader Bomb with his knees. Hart runs through his comeback before a crossbody sends both men over the top rope and out of the ring. The two brawl at ringside before Sycho Sid comes out and brings a cameraman backstage. Meanwhile, Vader tries to hit Hart with the ring steps, but the referee stops him. That allows Austin to sneak attack Hart and hit a Stunner. Vader quickly rolls Hart back in the ring and hits the Vader Bomb for the three and the win. Another pretty good match on this show.
Backstage, Sycho Sid is attacking Jose Lothario's son, prompting Michaels & Lothario to sprint backstage. However, Sid powerbombs the younger Lothario onto a table that doesn't break. Michaels and other babyfaces attend to Pete before Michaels says he'll kick Sid's teeth in to close the show.
That's it for RAW. Onto Nitro...
Nitro
Glacier vs Bobby Eaton
Nitro decides to kick off 1997 with Glacier. Somewhere in suburban Ohio, one month old me is marking out. Eaton starts this match by selling a leg sweep far too late. This is quickly followed by Eaton accidentally tripping over a rolling Glacier off a leapfrog. Glacier ends up hitting the Cryonic Kick, which Eaton doesn't even stay down for a one count after. Glacier follows up with a superkick for the three and the win. Jesus, that was bad. Like, really bad. I know Bobby Eaton is way past his prime, but this was a lot worse than all the other matches he's had on Nitro.
Big Bubba vs Konnan with Jimmy Hart in a Mexican Strap match
Because everyone was clamoring for the Big Bubba/Konnan strap match that we were promised last week, WCW is having it this week. Please, contain your excitement. This match is pretty uninteresting and has the same exact finish from last week. Konnan touches three corners before Bubba stops him and punches him, only for Konnan to fall back into the final corner. Bubba proceeds to attack Konnan before hitting a terrible Boss Man Slam. Poor.
Mean Gene Okerlund interviews Kevin Sullivan in the locker room. Mean Gene tries to show Sullivan more footage, presumably of Chris Benoit and Woman, which Sullivan vehemently rejects. Mean Gene tells Sullivan that he and Benoit need to focus on taking down the nWo, but Sullivan doesn't budge. Mean Gene then says that his new footage is not of Benoit & Woman, but of "somebody else." A nervous Sullivan walks away from Mean Gene following that reveal.
Mean Gene proceeds to run down to the entranceway to interview the Four Horsemen. Absent from this are Chris Benoit & Woman. Arn Anderson says he didn't want to step on any toes concerning Benoit & Woman before Flair chimes in, saying Woman deserves a night out after being married to the devil. Debra runs down Woman, calling her ugly and fat before putting over the other Horsemen. Mandy Rose must have watched a lot of Debra promos. Outcomes Jeff Jarrett, who tries to take Benoit's spot in the Horsemen. Anderson interrupts and tells Jarrett to stop playing the victim if he wants to be a Horseman. Jarrett fires back, saying Anderson has always played second fiddle and calls him "the horse's rear." That leads to Anderson attacking Jarrett, throwing him in the ring as the referee rings the bell. Wait...this is a match now?
Arn Anderson with Ric Flair, Steve McMichael, and Debra vs Jeff Jarrett
Anderson beats down Jarrett for the entire match, throwing him around ringside and the ring before Jarrett catches him with a swinging neckbreaker. Jarrett pins Anderson with his feet on the ropes for the win. I'm sorry, but what was this? A completely random match that ended in about a minute. Flair and Mongo try to attack Jarrett, but Debra gets between them, leading to an argument between Mongo and Flair & Anderson. Cooler heads prevail before Flair shakes Jarrett's hand. Anderson walks out of the ring as the arguing continues. Jarrett ends up helping Debra out of the ring, leading to a tense moment between Jarrett and Mongo.
Lord Steven Regal (c) vs Diamond Dallas Page-WCW Television Championship
OR IS IT! DDP's music hits, but he never ends up coming out. Instead, Regal will be defending his Television Championship against...Jim Duggan. That's not quite replacing Shawn Michaels with Savio Vega at No Way Out of Texas bad, but going from Diamond Dallas Page to Jim Duggan is a pretty steep downgrade in quality.
Lord Steven Regal (c) Jim Duggan-WCW Television Championship
Early in this match, the nWo shows up and take over the announce table, quickly saying that Diamond Dallas Page has joined the group, saying he's not here tonight because he has "important business" to take care of. This match is trash. Duggan dominates the majority of the match before Regal finally gets some offense in. At one point, these two perform the slowest drop toe hold I've ever seen. It's like Duggan forgets to sell it for about three seconds. Duggan makes his comeback before both men go down off a collision. That leads to super-cheater Jim Duggan to pull his roll of tape out of his trunks, wrap his fist, and clock Regal just before the time limit expires. F*ck this match. Nobody needs to see a 10-minute Jim Duggan match, especially one that has no finish. After the match, Duggan grabs a WCW flag and waves it around in the ring.
Hugh Morrus vs Jim Powers with Teddy Long
Hugh Morrus has dropped the Dungeon of Doom music for his entrance, instead coming out to some generic 70's porno background music. This is the best match of the night so far, which is not saying much. It's a brief, back and forth match that ends after Morrus hits the No Laughing Matter moonsault for the three. Also, the nWo must've given WCW the commentary table back during the commercial break, because they were not there for this match.
Psychosis vs Rey Mysterio Jr.
Oh, thank god, a match worth watching. Early in the match, there's a really scary botch when Psychosis goes for a springboard moonsault, but stumbles on the top rope and nearly lands headfirst on the apron. Thankfully, he's not seriously hurt, as that is quickly followed up with Psychosis catching a flying Mysterio with a dropkick. Like every match these two have, it's a fast-paced, high flying match that doesn't slow down for a single second. There are some unpolished moments, such as the aforementioned near-spiking of Psychosis and a moment where Psychosis loses his balance on the top rope and drops down, but they are overshadowed by all the awesome (as Kalisto would call them) lucha things. The finish is great, with Mysterio flipping onto the ring apron off an Irish whip. Psychosis tries to dropkick Rey Jr., but he dodges and causes Psychosis to hit the ropes leg first and flip himself over. Mysterio capitalizes and hits a picture-perfect West Coast Pop for the three and the win. Great match, definitely worth going back and watching.
Kevin Sullivan with Jimmy Hart vs Chavo Guerrero Jr.
When Kevin Sullivan books himself in a squash match, he really goes all out. This one isn't as one-sided as Sullivan's matches with Prince Iaukea or KC Sunshine, as Chavo does get some offense early in the match, but Sullivan still absolutely steamrolls him before pinning him with a standing double stomp. The only thing of note that happens in this match is WCW trying to show the clip of Sullivan hitting Chris Benoit with a chair at Starrcade, only to show a clip that wasn't even from that match. That's WCW for you.
Alex Wright vs Eddie Guerrero
As a result of Syxx stealing Guerrero's United States Championship at Starrcade, the two will face off in a ladder match for the belt at nWo Souled Out. Spoiler alert, the is the only good thing that happens on that entire show. Midway through the match, Syxx makes an appearance with a ladder and the championship, climbing to the top to taunt Guerrero. That distraction nearly costs him, as Wright gets a two count off a roll-up. Unlike most cruiserweight matches not involving Dean Malenko, this one is a lot slower paced with more holds than dives or flips. Unlike in a Malenko match, this one is just kind of boring. Wright dominates the majority of the match until Guerrero catches him going to the top rope. Guerrero superplexes Wright before quickly hitting the frog splash for the three and the win. Guerrero immediately sprints after Syxx, but Syxx is able to get away unscathed. I wouldn't say this is a bad match, but it's not really anything to write home about.
Amazing French Canadians with Col. Rob Parker vs Harlem Heat with Sister Sherri
How is this feud still going? During Harlem Heat's entrance, Booker T tries to throw his do-rag to Sherri, but she misses it and has to awkwardly walk back and pick it up. Stevie Ray also throws his back but Sherri ignores it because it's Stevie Ray. Instant brawl to start this match, ending with Harlem Heat hitting a double suplex on Jacques Rougeau. Harlem Heat steamrolls Rougeau until a distraction from Col. Parker allows Carl Ouelett to clothesline Booker. As the referee is distracted with Sherri and Stevie Ray, Parker and Rougeau beat down Booker before throwing him into the ring steps. The Rougeaus get the heat on Booker until Stevie Ray breaks up a pin, distracting the referee as he tries to get him out of the ring. The Canadians use that opportunity to try and hit Booker with the French Canadian flag, but Booker dodges, causing Rougeau to take the hit. Booker sends Ouelett packing with a Harlem Sidekick before he & Stevie Ray hit the Heat Bomb (a powerbomb/elbow drop combo) for the three and the win. That's probably the simplest finish I've ever seen in a Harlem Heat match. That was fine, nothing to complain about.
Meng vs Lex Luger
This match is exactly like every Lex Luger match over the last few months. Luger gets squashed by Meng for half the match until Luger makes his comeback. Luger locks in the Torture Rack, but accidentally swings Meng into the referee, knocking him out. The Barbarian runs down to save Meng, but he gets quickly vanquished with a powerslam before Luger locks in the Torture Rack on him. The referee comes to and rings the bell, giving Luger the submission win while completely ignoring that the Barbarian clearly is not Meng. LOL, what the f*ck?
Outcomes the nWo. Eric Bischoff congratulates Hogan on beating down Piper "all by himself" and taking down the Giant "single-handedly." Hogan calls the Giant "stinky" because that's still a thing, apparently, before the Giant makes an appearance. He rushes the ring, taking down every nWo member that tries to attack him until it's just him, Hogan, and Bischoff in the ring. Hogan tries to punch the Giant, only for him to catch the punch and force him to the ground. Bischoff tries to attack the Giant, but he no-sells it. The Giant prepares to attack Bischoff, only for Hogan to hit him with a chair. The nWo beats down the Giant, breaking the steel chair before letting Bischoff get a kick in. The nWo triumphantly leaves the ring and heads to the commentary table.
However, Sting quickly makes an appearance, walking down to the ring and trying to revive the Giant. Sting then turns his attention to the nWo, pointing at them with his bat before leaving it in the ring and leaving. The nWo tells Vincent to run down to the ring and hit the Giant with it. After making sure that the Giant is out, Vincent grabs the bat and puts his foot on his chest, only for the Giant to get up and chokeslam Vincent. The nWo run down to the ring, but the Giant holds them off with the bat. Sting looks on from the stage as the show closes.
Well, that was a terrible Nitro. Outside of the Rey Mysterio-Psicosis match and the closing segment, pretty much everything is just kind of a chore to sit through. At best, the rest of the show is just fine, but at worst, it's awful. Meanwhile, this RAW was actually pretty good. The matches were good and while the Sid promo was pretty lackluster, the show as a whole was still better than Nitro. Point to RAW this week.
RAW: 26
Nitro: 38
Thanks for reading! Be sure to share if you enjoyed and come back next week for the next edition of RAW vs Nitro.
RAW: 26
Nitro: 38
Thanks for reading! Be sure to share if you enjoyed and come back next week for the next edition of RAW vs Nitro.
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