A lot of criticism has been thrown lately at how the WWE presented women's wrestling during the Attitude Era. The fact that there was a period where the only way you could get TV time was to take off your clothes and fight in anything from an evening gown match to a lingerie pillow fight to a match where you've got to throw another woman into a pool of stuff did nothing but show that WWE was only interested in using female wrestlers for getting cheap tits & ass pops in the ratings. WWE have moved past this, but it's still a pretty bleak part of history looking back nowadays. That being said, it doesn't even compare to the women in WCW. With not even a title to fight for whatsoever, women in WCW were used solely as eye candy and nothing else. And today, I look at one of those matches. It's Miss Hancock, aka Stacy Keibler, against Major Gunns, aka adult film star Tylene Buck. Searchy searchy. It's a woman named after a dick joke against a woman named after her large boobs, it's a WCW women's match. Let's get into this.
So first off, this is listed on Wikipedia as a "Mud Rip Off the Clothes match." Pretty self-explanatory. Hancock goes for a handshake at first before Gunns gives an awful slap. The two immediately go into a catfight spot before getting up and Hancock Irish whipping Gunns into the corner. Gunns clearly doesn't want to bump in the corner, so she gingerly stops and turns to gently end up in the corner. Hancock follows an Irish whip up with a handspring back elbow. Mark Madden on commentary says it was "Muta-like." Stop.
Gunns takes control with a very stunted kick before hitting a somersault cutter. Major Gunns then takes (and I'm not even joking) five whole seconds to properly do a jackknife cover. Not even a move, a basic wrestling pin. She might be the worst wrestler I've ever seen. Also, if this is a "Mud Rip Off the Clothes match", then why are they doing pins when both of them have their clothes on and their not in mud, they're in the ring. The commentators don't even seem to know what the rules are, as they constantly contradict themselves by saying the match has to end in the mud pit when one of them loses all their clothes, even though the referee is counting pins in the ring. This match is imploding on itself.
Hancock clotheslines Gunns to the ground and rips off her shirt. The commentators spend literally the entire match just perving over Stacy Keibler's ass. It gets really old after a while. Gunns hits a facebuster and rips off Hancock's shorts, revealing only slightly smaller shorts. I don't know, why even question it. Gunns manages to hit a bodyslam without killing Hancock, which surprised me, before Hancock hits a second rope crossbody and kips up. Well, at least Hancock is actually athletic. Tony Schiavone on commentary is surprised that "a girl can do a kip up" Again, just stop.
Gunns does a sunset flip and avoids a crossbody, sending Hancock to the outside. Hancock shoves Gunns into the ring post and rips off her shorts, so Gunns rips off her shirt. The two fight over to the mud pit where Hancock back body drops Gunns into the pit, followed by Gunns pulling her in. Mark Madden tells the two to "kiss and make up for daddy" F*ck this guy.
Suddenly, Miss Hancock has stomach pains Guns sloppily (get it, cause they're in mud) rolls her up for the win. After the match, Gunns & referee Charles Robinson check her when David Flair runs in to check on her. Medics come out with a gurney to take her away as the commentators get all serious.
The Verdict
The cheapest of cheap pops. Neither woman was that good in the ring, with Gunns being especially bad. Nothing looked good...aside from the women, of course.
Rankings (Best to Worst)
- Too Much vs Al Snow & Head-King of the Ring 1998
- Vampiro vs Sting-Great American Bash 2000
- T&A vs Head Cheese-WrestleMania 2000
- Triple H vs Sgt. Slaughter-D-Generation X: In Your House
- Konnan vs One Man Gang-SuperBrawl VI
- Ultimate Warrior vs Hercules-WrestleMania IV
- Rick Rude vs Hawk-Clash of the Champions XXV
- Shelton Benjamin vs Viscera-New Year's Revolution 2006
- Steve McMichael vs Reggie White-Slamboree 1997
- The Chamber of Horrors-Halloween Havoc 1991
- The Natural Disasters vs Money Inc.-WrestleMania VIII
- Ivan Koloff vs Paul Jones-Clash of the Champions IV
- ODB, Taylor Wilde, and Roxxi vs The Kongtourage-Genesis 2009
- Ivory vs Tori-SummerSlam 1999
- Nikita Koloff vs Bobby Eaton-Bunkhouse Stampede
- Alex Wright vs Steve McMichael-Halloween Havoc 1997
- Total Divas vs Other Divas-Survivor Series 2013
- The Oddities vs Kaientai-SummerSlam 1998
- Hulk Hogan vs Sid Justice-WrestleMania VIII
- Paul Ellering vs Teddy Long-Capital Combat
- Dusty Rhodes vs Big Boss Man-Saturday Night's Main Event (10/31/1989)
- Tyson Tomko vs Stevie Richards-Unforgiven 2004
- Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Hog Wild
- Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Souled Out 1997
- Dustin Rhodes & King Kong vs Awesome Kong & The Equalizer-Battlebowl
- Finlay & Little Bastard vs The Boogeyman & Little Boogeyman-No Way Out 2007
- Jake Roberts vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania V
- Yokozuna vs King Mabel-In Your House 4
- Sting & Hawk vs Meng & Kurasawa-Clash of the Champions XXXI
- Hulk Hogan vs Randy Savage-Uncensored 1998
- Al Snow vs Big Boss Man-Unforgiven 1999
- Mickie James vs Ashley-Royal Rumble 2006
- Christy Hemme vs Big Fat Oily Guy-Against All Odds 2007
- Team WCW vs nWo Wolfpac vs nWo Hollywood-Fall Brawl 1998
- Vampiro vs Oklahoma-Starrcade 1999
- Hulk Hogan vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania III
- Van Hammer vs Terrance Taylor-Clash of the Champions XVI
- Junkyard Dog vs Moondog Spot-Wrestling Classic
- Hiroshi Wajima vs Tom Magee-All Japan Pro Wrestling 1988
- Jim Duggan vs Big Boss Man-Royal Rumble 1990
- Meng vs Jim Duggan-Uncensored 1995
- Jim Steele vs The Equalizer-SuperBrawl IV
- Edge vs Triple H vs Vladimir Kozlov-Survivor Series 2008
- Kevin Sullivan vs Dave Sullivan-SuperBrawl V
- Steve McMichael vs Brian Adams-Road Wild 1998
- Scott Hall vs Roddy Piper-SuperBrawl IX
- PN News & Bobby Eaton vs Steve Austin & Terrance Taylor-Great American Bash 1991
- Scott Steiner vs Sid Vicious vs Jeff Jarrett vs Road Warrior Animal-Sin
- Hollywood Hogan vs Roddy Piper-SuperBrawl 1997
- Batista vs The Great Khali-SummerSlam 2007
- Sable vs Tori-WrestleMania XV
- Super Invader vs Todd Champion-WrestleWar 1992
- Sid Vicious vs The Nightstalker-Clash of the Champions XIII
- The 8-Divas Tag Match-Survivor Series 1999
- The Fabulous Freebirds vs The Renegade Warriors-Halloween Havoc 1990
- Rick Rude vs Masahiro Chono-Halloween Havoc 1992
- Mike Awesome vs Vampiro-Halloween Havoc 2000
- Bray Wyatt vs John Cena-Extreme Rules 2014
- Brothers of Destruction vs KroniK-Unforgiven 2001
- Mabel vs The Undertaker-King of the Ring 1995
- Wendi Richter vs The Fabulous Moolah-The Brawl to End it All
- David Flair vs Kimberly Page-Mayhem 1999
- The Truth Commission vs The Disciples of Apocolypse-Survivor Series 1997
- The Bushwhacker vs The Fabulous Rougeaus-WrestleMania V
- The Beverly Brothers vs The Bushwhackers-Royal Rumble 1992
- Teddy Long vs Eric Bischoff-Survivor Series 2005
- Greg Valentine vs George Steele-Heroes of Wrestling
- Abdullah the Butcher vs One Man Gang-Heroes of Wrestling
- Major Gunns vs Miss Hancock-New Blood Rising
- Triple H vs Scott Steiner-Royal Rumble 2003
- Hollywood Hogan vs The Warrior-Halloween Havoc 1998
- Mr. T vs Roddy Piper-WrestleMania 2
- The Royal Family vs Clowns R' Us-Survivor Series 1994
- The Blacktop Bully vs Dustin Rhodes-Uncensored 1995
- The Four Doinks vs Team Bigelow-Survivor Series 1993
- Sting vs Jeff Hardy-Victory Road 2011
- Oz vs Tim Parker-SuperBrawl
- Ultimate Warrior vs Andre the Giant-Saturday Night's Main Event (11/25/1989)
- The Doomsday Cage Match-Uncensored 1996
- Kane vs The Undertaker-Judgement Day 1998
- Kaitlyn vs Maxine-NXT (10/19/10)
- Sabu vs The Sandman-November to Remember 1997
- The Bushwhackers vs Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff-Heroes of Wrestling
- James Storm vs Chris Harris-Lockdown 2007
- John Laurinaitis vs John Cena-Over the Limit 2012
- Ultimate Warrior vs Goldust-In Your House 7
- Los Villanos vs Los Psycho Circus-Triplemania XXIII
- Jenna Morasca vs Sharmell-Victory Road 2009
And up next is...
Oh god...this one is going to be...hard to watch.
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