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Worst in the World: Major Gunns vs Miss Hancock-New Blood Rising

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A lot of criticism has been thrown lately at how the WWE presented women's wrestling during the Attitude Era. The fact that there was a period where the only way you could get TV time was to take off your clothes and fight in anything from an evening gown match to a lingerie pillow fight to a match where you've got to throw another woman into a pool of stuff did nothing but show that WWE was only interested in using female wrestlers for getting cheap tits & ass pops in the ratings. WWE have moved past this, but it's still a pretty bleak part of history looking back nowadays. That being said, it doesn't even compare to the women in WCW. With not even a title to fight for whatsoever, women in WCW were used solely as eye candy and nothing else. And today, I look at one of those matches. It's Miss Hancock, aka Stacy Keibler, against Major Gunns, aka adult film star Tylene Buck. Searchy searchy. It's a woman named after a dick joke against a woman named after her large boobs, it's a WCW women's match. Let's get into this.
So first off, this is listed on Wikipedia as a "Mud Rip Off the Clothes match." Pretty self-explanatory. Hancock goes for a handshake at first before Gunns gives an awful slap. The two immediately go into a catfight spot before getting up and Hancock Irish whipping Gunns into the corner. Gunns clearly doesn't want to bump in the corner, so she gingerly stops and turns to gently end up in the corner. Hancock follows an Irish whip up with a handspring back elbow. Mark Madden on commentary says it was "Muta-like." Stop.
Gunns takes control with a very stunted kick before hitting a somersault cutter. Major Gunns then takes (and I'm not even joking) five whole seconds to properly do a jackknife cover. Not even a move, a basic wrestling pin. She might be the worst wrestler I've ever seen. Also, if this is a "Mud Rip Off the Clothes match", then why are they doing pins when both of them have their clothes on and their not in mud, they're in the ring. The commentators don't even seem to know what the rules are, as they constantly contradict themselves by saying the match has to end in the mud pit when one of them loses all their clothes, even though the referee is counting pins in the ring. This match is imploding on itself.
Hancock clotheslines Gunns to the ground and rips off her shirt. The commentators spend literally the entire match just perving over Stacy Keibler's ass. It gets really old after a while. Gunns hits a facebuster and rips off Hancock's shorts, revealing only slightly smaller shorts. I don't know, why even question it. Gunns manages to hit a bodyslam without killing Hancock, which surprised me, before Hancock hits a second rope crossbody and kips up. Well, at least Hancock is actually athletic. Tony Schiavone on commentary is surprised that "a girl can do a kip up" Again, just stop.
Gunns does a sunset flip and avoids a crossbody, sending Hancock to the outside. Hancock shoves Gunns into the ring post and rips off her shorts, so Gunns rips off her shirt. The two fight over to the mud pit where Hancock back body drops Gunns into the pit, followed by Gunns pulling her in. Mark Madden tells the two to "kiss and make up for daddy" F*ck this guy. 
Suddenly, Miss Hancock has stomach pains Guns sloppily (get it, cause they're in mud) rolls her up for the win. After the match, Gunns & referee Charles Robinson check her when David Flair runs in to check on her. Medics come out with a gurney to take her away as the commentators get all serious.

The Verdict

The cheapest of cheap pops. Neither woman was that good in the ring, with Gunns being especially bad. Nothing looked good...aside from the women, of course.

Rankings (Best to Worst)

  1. Too Much vs Al Snow & Head-King of the Ring 1998
  2. Vampiro vs Sting-Great American Bash 2000
  3. T&A vs Head Cheese-WrestleMania 2000
  4. Triple H vs Sgt. Slaughter-D-Generation X: In Your House
  5. Konnan vs One Man Gang-SuperBrawl VI
  6. Ultimate Warrior vs Hercules-WrestleMania IV
  7. Rick Rude vs Hawk-Clash of the Champions XXV
  8. Shelton Benjamin vs Viscera-New Year's Revolution 2006
  9. Steve McMichael vs Reggie White-Slamboree 1997
  10. The Chamber of Horrors-Halloween Havoc 1991
  11. The Natural Disasters vs Money Inc.-WrestleMania VIII
  12. Ivan Koloff vs Paul Jones-Clash of the Champions IV
  13. ODB, Taylor Wilde, and Roxxi vs The Kongtourage-Genesis 2009
  14. Ivory vs Tori-SummerSlam 1999
  15. Nikita Koloff vs Bobby Eaton-Bunkhouse Stampede
  16. Alex Wright vs Steve McMichael-Halloween Havoc 1997
  17. Total Divas vs Other Divas-Survivor Series 2013
  18. The Oddities vs Kaientai-SummerSlam 1998
  19. Hulk Hogan vs Sid Justice-WrestleMania VIII
  20. Paul Ellering vs Teddy Long-Capital Combat
  21. Dusty Rhodes vs Big Boss Man-Saturday Night's Main Event (10/31/1989)
  22. Tyson Tomko vs Stevie Richards-Unforgiven 2004
  23. Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Hog Wild
  24. Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Souled Out 1997
  25. Dustin Rhodes & King Kong vs Awesome Kong & The Equalizer-Battlebowl
  26. Finlay & Little Bastard vs The Boogeyman & Little Boogeyman-No Way Out 2007
  27. Jake Roberts vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania V
  28. Yokozuna vs King Mabel-In Your House 4
  29. Sting & Hawk vs Meng & Kurasawa-Clash of the Champions XXXI
  30. Hulk Hogan vs Randy Savage-Uncensored 1998
  31. Al Snow vs Big Boss Man-Unforgiven 1999
  32. Mickie James vs Ashley-Royal Rumble 2006
  33. Christy Hemme vs Big Fat Oily Guy-Against All Odds 2007
  34. Team WCW vs nWo Wolfpac vs nWo Hollywood-Fall Brawl 1998
  35. Vampiro vs Oklahoma-Starrcade 1999
  36. Hulk Hogan vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania III
  37. Van Hammer vs Terrance Taylor-Clash of the Champions XVI
  38. Junkyard Dog vs Moondog Spot-Wrestling Classic
  39. Hiroshi Wajima vs Tom Magee-All Japan Pro Wrestling 1988
  40. Jim Duggan vs Big Boss Man-Royal Rumble 1990
  41. Meng vs Jim Duggan-Uncensored 1995
  42. Jim Steele vs The Equalizer-SuperBrawl IV
  43. Edge vs Triple H vs Vladimir Kozlov-Survivor Series 2008
  44. Kevin Sullivan vs Dave Sullivan-SuperBrawl V
  45. Steve McMichael vs Brian Adams-Road Wild 1998
  46. Scott Hall vs Roddy Piper-SuperBrawl IX
  47. PN News & Bobby Eaton vs Steve Austin & Terrance Taylor-Great American Bash 1991
  48. Scott Steiner vs Sid Vicious vs Jeff Jarrett vs Road Warrior Animal-Sin
  49. Hollywood Hogan vs Roddy Piper-SuperBrawl 1997
  50. Batista vs The Great Khali-SummerSlam 2007
  51.  Sable vs Tori-WrestleMania XV
  52. Super Invader vs Todd Champion-WrestleWar 1992
  53. Sid Vicious vs The Nightstalker-Clash of the Champions XIII
  54. The 8-Divas Tag Match-Survivor Series 1999
  55. The Fabulous Freebirds vs The Renegade Warriors-Halloween Havoc 1990
  56. Rick Rude vs Masahiro Chono-Halloween Havoc 1992
  57. Mike Awesome vs Vampiro-Halloween Havoc 2000
  58. Bray Wyatt vs John Cena-Extreme Rules 2014
  59. Brothers of Destruction vs KroniK-Unforgiven 2001
  60. Mabel vs The Undertaker-King of the Ring 1995
  61. Wendi Richter vs The Fabulous Moolah-The Brawl to End it All
  62. David Flair vs Kimberly Page-Mayhem 1999
  63. The Truth Commission vs The Disciples of Apocolypse-Survivor Series 1997
  64. The Bushwhacker vs The Fabulous Rougeaus-WrestleMania V
  65. The Beverly Brothers vs The Bushwhackers-Royal Rumble 1992
  66. Teddy Long vs Eric Bischoff-Survivor Series 2005
  67. Greg Valentine vs George Steele-Heroes of Wrestling
  68. Abdullah the Butcher vs One Man Gang-Heroes of Wrestling
  69. Major Gunns vs Miss Hancock-New Blood Rising
  70. Triple H vs Scott Steiner-Royal Rumble 2003
  71. Hollywood Hogan vs The Warrior-Halloween Havoc 1998
  72. Mr. T vs Roddy Piper-WrestleMania 2
  73. The Royal Family vs Clowns R' Us-Survivor Series 1994
  74. The Blacktop Bully vs Dustin Rhodes-Uncensored 1995
  75. The Four Doinks vs Team Bigelow-Survivor Series 1993
  76. Sting vs Jeff Hardy-Victory Road 2011
  77. Oz vs Tim Parker-SuperBrawl
  78. Ultimate Warrior vs Andre the Giant-Saturday Night's Main Event (11/25/1989)
  79. The Doomsday Cage Match-Uncensored 1996
  80. Kane vs The Undertaker-Judgement Day 1998
  81. Kaitlyn vs Maxine-NXT (10/19/10)
  82. Sabu vs The Sandman-November to Remember 1997
  83. The Bushwhackers vs Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff-Heroes of Wrestling
  84. James Storm vs Chris Harris-Lockdown 2007
  85. John Laurinaitis vs John Cena-Over the Limit 2012
  86. Ultimate Warrior vs Goldust-In Your House 7
  87. Los Villanos vs Los Psycho Circus-Triplemania XXIII
  88. Jenna Morasca vs Sharmell-Victory Road 2009
And up next is...
Oh god...this one is going to be...hard to watch.
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