Worst in the World: Vampiro vs The KISS Demon-Bash at the Beach 2000

Ladies & gentlemen, let me tell you a story about the KISS Demon. Back in 2000, WCW struck a deal with one of the most overrated bands in history, KISS. The deal was to create a KISS-themed wrestler modeled after Gene Simmons with a GUARANTEED MAIN EVENT. After going back and forth on who would play the character, unlucky WCW Power Plant student Dale Torborg dawned the paint after Brian Adams rejected the gimmick after using it twice. The KISS Demon was introduced during a KISS concert live on Nitro, which is one of the lowest rated segments in Nitro history. The character was pretty much dead on arrival, and his "main event" ended up being a "Special Main Event" halfway through SuperBrawl against the Wall. Today, I take a look at the Demon's match at the infamous Bash at the Beach 2000. He faces Vampiro in a "Graveyard match." How the hell does Vince Russo come up with this stuff? Let's just get into it.

So the Demon wanders around a graveyard looking for Vampiro, only to find hi waiting in a tree. Right off the bat, it is way too dark and you can barely see what's going on. Vampiro dives at him, but the Demon moves and plants him with an Uranage. The Demon starts hitting Vampiro with branches before Vampiro hits a combination of kicks, ending with a spin kick. Vampiro continues to beat down on the Demon until the Demon's valet Asya kicks him in the back. Vampiro & the Demon fight into a grave, with Vampiro rising out and dragging Asya away. What the actual f*ck is this.

The Demon & referee Charles Robinson run after them to find Asya sitting by a lake. Vampiro rises out of the water Jason Voorhies-style and pulls the Demon into the water. The two fight in water before Vampiro leaves with Asya again. So he basically just stopped trying to win the match just to attack the Demon. This makes zero sense. Robinson pulls the Demon out of the water and the two continue after Vampiro, only to find Asya on the ground next to a coffin. They could not have made what happens next more obvious.

Vampiro pops out of the coffin and spits red mist in the Demon's face. Vampiro asks the Demon to join him, but he refuses, so Vampiro breaks a tombstone over his head. I'm not even kidding.

How is that even remotely possible? How in God's name do a head and a solid rock tombstone come into contact, and the tombstone shatters into pieces? God dammit, Russo. Vampiro throws the Demon in the coffin and pushes it into a grave. Vampiro walks off, so I'm assuming the match is over.

The Verdict

I don't even know what to say. What even was this? None of this made any sense. I'm literally at a loss for words.

Rankings (Best to Worst)

1. Rick Rude vs Jake Roberts-WrestleMania IV
2. Too Much vs Al Snow & Head-King of the Ring 1998
3. Vampiro vs Sting-Great American Bash 2000
4. T&A vs Head Cheese-WrestleMania 2000
5. Triple H vs Sgt. Slaughter-D-Generation X: In Your House
6. Konnan vs One Man Gang-SuperBrawl VI
7. Ultimate Warrior vs Hercules-WrestleMania IV
8. Rick Rude vs Hawk-Clash of the Champions XXV
9. Shelton Benjamin vs Viscera-New Year's Revolution 2006
10. Steve McMichael vs Reggie White-Slamboree 1997
11. Tag Team Battle Royal-WrestleMania XIV
12. The Chamber of Horrors-Halloween Havoc 1991
13. The Natural Disasters vs Money Inc.-WrestleMania VIII
14. Ivan Koloff vs Paul Jones-Clash of the Champions IV
15. ODB, Taylor Wilde, and Roxxi vs The Kongtourage-Genesis 2009
16. Ivory vs Tori-SummerSlam 1999
17. Nikita Koloff vs Bobby Eaton-Bunkhouse Stampede
18. Alex Wright vs Steve McMichael-Halloween Havoc 1997
19. Savio Vega vs Crush vs Faarooq-Ground Zero: In Your House
20. Total Divas vs Other Divas-Survivor Series 2013
21. The Oddities vs Kaientai-SummerSlam 1998
22. Hulk Hogan vs Sid Justice-WrestleMania VIII
23. Paul Ellering vs Teddy Long-Capital Combat
24. Dusty Rhodes vs Big Boss Man-Saturday Night's Main Event (10/31/1989)
25. Tyson Tomko vs Stevie Richards-Unforgiven 2004
26. Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Hog Wild
27. Hollywood Hogan vs The Giant-Souled Out 1997
28. Dustin Rhodes & King Kong vs Awesome Kong & The Equalizer-Battlebowl
29. Finlay & Little Bastard vs The Boogeyman & Little Boogeyman-No Way Out 2007
30. Jake Roberts vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania V
31. Yokozuna vs King Mabel-In Your House 4
32. Sting & Hawk vs Meng & Kurasawa-Clash of the Champions XXXI
33. Hulk Hogan vs Randy Savage-Uncensored 1998
34. Al Snow vs Big Boss Man-Unforgiven 1999
35. Mickie James vs Ashley-Royal Rumble 2006
36. Christy Hemme vs Big Fat Oily Guy-Against All Odds 2007
37. Stevie Ray vs Konnan-World War 3 1998
38. Vampiro vs The KISS Demon-Bash at the Beach 2000
39. Team WCW vs nWo Wolfpac vs nWo Hollywood-Fall Brawl 1998
40. Vampiro vs Oklahoma-Starrcade 1999
41. Hulk Hogan vs Andre the Giant-WrestleMania III
42. Van Hammer vs Terrance Taylor-Clash of the Champions XVI
43. Junkyard Dog vs Moondog Spot-Wrestling Classic
44. Hiroshi Wajima vs Tom Magee-All Japan Pro Wrestling 1988
45. Jim Duggan vs Big Boss Man-Royal Rumble 1990
46. Meng vs Jim Duggan-Uncensored 1995
47. Jim Steele vs The Equalizer-SuperBrawl IV
48. Wendi Richter vs Leilani Kai-WrestleMania
49. Edge vs Triple H vs Vladimir Kozlov-Survivor Series 2008
50. Kevin Sullivan vs Dave Sullivan-SuperBrawl V
51. Steve McMichael vs Brian Adams-Road Wild 1998
52. Scott Hall vs Roddy Piper-SuperBrawl IX
53. PN News & Bobby Eaton vs Steve Austin & Terrance Taylor-Great American Bash 1991
54. Scott Steiner vs Sid Vicious vs Jeff Jarrett vs Road Warrior Animal-Sin
55. Hollywood Hogan vs Roddy Piper-SuperBrawl 1997
56. Batista vs The Great Khali-SummerSlam 2007
57.  Sable vs Tori-WrestleMania XV
58. Super Invader vs Todd Champion-WrestleWar 1992
59. King Kong Bundy & Jim Neidhart vs Yokozuna & Jake Roberts-Heroes of Wrestling
60. Sid Vicious vs The Nightstalker-Clash of the Champions XIII
61. The 8-Divas Tag Match-Survivor Series 1999
62. The Fabulous Freebirds vs The Renegade Warriors-Halloween Havoc 1990
63. Rick Rude vs Masahiro Chono-Halloween Havoc 1992
64. Mike Awesome vs Vampiro-Halloween Havoc 2000
65. Bray Wyatt vs John Cena-Extreme Rules 2014
66. Brothers of Destruction vs KroniK-Unforgiven 2001
67. Mabel vs The Undertaker-King of the Ring 1995
68. Wendi Richter vs The Fabulous Moolah-The Brawl to End it All
69. David Flair vs Kimberly Page-Mayhem 1999
70. The Truth Commission vs The Disciples of Apocolypse-Survivor Series 1997
71. The Bushwhacker vs The Fabulous Rougeaus-WrestleMania V
72. The Beverly Brothers vs The Bushwhackers-Royal Rumble 1992
73. Teddy Long vs Eric Bischoff-Survivor Series 2005
74. Greg Valentine vs George Steele-Heroes of Wrestling
75. Abdullah the Butcher vs One Man Gang-Heroes of Wrestling
76. Major Gunns vs Miss Hancock-New Blood Rising
77. Bradshaw & Trish Stratus vs Christopher Nowinski & Jackie Gayda-RAW (7/8/2002)
78. Triple H vs Scott Steiner-Royal Rumble 2003
79. Hollywood Hogan vs The Warrior-Halloween Havoc 1998
80. Mr. T vs Roddy Piper-WrestleMania 2
81. The Royal Family vs Clowns R' Us-Survivor Series 1994
82. The Blacktop Bully vs Dustin Rhodes-Uncensored 1995
83. Pat Patterson vs Gerald Brisco-King of the Ring 2000
84. The Four Doinks vs Team Bigelow-Survivor Series 1993
85. Sting vs Jeff Hardy-Victory Road 2011
86. Oz vs Tim Parker-SuperBrawl
87. Ultimate Warrior vs Andre the Giant-Saturday Night's Main Event (11/25/1989)
88. The Doomsday Cage Match-Uncensored 1996
89. Kane vs The Undertaker-Judgement Day 1998
90. Kaitlyn vs Maxine-NXT (10/19/10)
91. Sabu vs The Sandman-November to Remember 1997
92. The Bushwhackers vs Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff-Heroes of Wrestling
93. James Storm vs Chris Harris-Lockdown 2007
94. John Laurinaitis vs John Cena-Over the Limit 2012
95. Ultimate Warrior vs Goldust-In Your House 7
96. Los Villanos vs Los Psycho Circus-Triplemania XXIII
97. Jenna Morasca vs Sharmell-Victory Road 2009

And up next is...

Yeah, more tag team sh*t.