RAW vs Nitro #33 (5/20/96)

Welcome back to another edition of RAW vs Nitro. Click here to read the last one if you missed it. So let's get into it, this is RAW vs Nitro #33.

RAW

• Marc Mero with Sable vs Steve Austin with Ted DiBiase-The two lock up and wrestle into the ropes before breaking the lock up. The two trade holds for a long time before Mero hits a crossbody for a near fall. Mero follows up with an arm drag before locking in an armbar. The two trade blows before going back and forth. Mero hits a hip toss, an arm drag, and a dropkick before going for a somersault senton out of the ring, but Austin avoids it. Back in the ring, Austin flapjacks Mero into the corner before hitting a rope hung body guillotine. Austin throws Mero out of the ring before the commercial break. We come back to Mero getting a near fall off a roll up. Austin responds with a clothesline before hitting a middle rope elbow drop for a near fall. Austin controls the match until Mero locks in a sleeper hold, only for Austin to drop down and hit a jawbreaker on Mero. You could say that it stunned him. Eh? Eh?...I'm sorry. Austin continues to control the match until Mero fights back and floors Austin with tilt-a-whirl headscissors. Mero follows up with a running knee strike and a double axe handle for a near fall. Mero goes for 10 punches in the corner, but Austin pushes him off, only to run into a clothesline from Mero for a near fall. DiBiase trips up Mero from the outside, allowing Austin to regain control. Austin body slams Mero before going to the top rope, only for Savio Vega to run down and whip Austin with a strap for the DQ. Vega chases Austin & DiBiase off before Mero confronts Vega. And since he's already in the ring...
• Savio Vega vs The 1-2-3 Kid-Ted DiBiase takes a seat at commentary for this match. The two trade holds to start before Vega hits a hip toss & a dropkick. Vega follows up with a corner spinning heel kick that sends both men out of the ring. All of this while George R.R. Martin stares directly at the hard camera from the crowd.
  
  Back in the ring, Vega gets a near fall off a dropkick before locking in a headlock. Vega controls the match until DiBiase taunts Vega with a chauffer's hat. This allows the Kid to hit a spinning heel kick. The Kid beats down Vega before hitting a top rope splash for a near fall. The Kid controls the match until Vega catches the Kid with a spinning heel kick for a near fall. Vega hits a big Ura-nage slam for a near fall followed by a back body drop but gets caught with another spinning heel kick from the Kid. The Kid goes to the top rope, but Vega dodges the splash and pins the Kid with a cradle for the win. Pretty good match. After the match, Steve Austin runs down and double teams Vega with the Kid. DiBiase hands Austin the strap and Austin proceeds to tie up Vega with it. DiBiase then places the chauffer's hat on Vega's head.
  
  We see clips from a live event where the BodyDonnas defended the Tag Team Championships against the Godwinns. At one point, Phineas goes for the Slop Drop, only to be distracted by Sunny hopping up on the apron. Phineas walks over and force kisses her before hitting the Slop Drop for the win and the titles. New Tag Team Champions; The Godwinns.
• Jim Ross interviews Paul Bearer with a casket behind them. He says Goldust has crossed the line and it's time for him to face the Grim Reaper. Undertaker emerges from the casket and says the casket is Goldust's future before Goldust runs down and closes the casket on him. Mankind ties the lid shut as Goldust & Marlena come down and hold Bearer at bay. Mankind then bashes the casket in with a pipe before tipping it over. Mankind beats the casket some more before being stopped by referees & backstage officials.
• Jake Roberts vs The British Bulldog with Jim Cornette, Diana Smith, and Clarence Mason-Cornette tells the crowd that Shawn Michaels won't be on commentary for the match because they got a restraining order against him, keeping 100 feet away from Diana until In Your House. Gorilla Monsoon comes down to the ring to confirm that the restraining order is legal, but turns the tables and announces that Diana has to leave the ring, allowing Michaels to be on commentary. Monsoon escorts Diana & Mason to the back as Shawn Michaels comes down to ringside.
  
  I'm no expert at math, but I'm fairly certain that's within 100 feet. Roberts comes down next so the match can start. Roberts starts off with an arm drag before hitting a lazy ass hip toss. Roberts hits a knee strike before Bulldog rolls out of the ring. Back in the ring, Bulldog beats down Roberts in the corner. The two trade blows before Bulldog takes control and targets Roberts' leg. The whole time, Michaels & Jerry Lawler argue on commentary about the allegations against Michaels, not paying the slightest bit of attention to the match. Bulldog controls the match until Roberts fights to his feet and hits a short arm clothesline. Roberts calls for the DDT, but Bulldog kicks Roberts knee to block it. This is when Lawler drops a bombshell...Shawn Michaels POSED FOR PLAYGIRL!
  
  OH MY GOD! THAT PROVES...nothing really. What does posing for Playgirl have to do with the allegations of flirting with married women? Meanwhile, Roberts hits a knee strike, but Bulldog keeps control by taking out Roberts' knee. Roberts gets a near fall off a roll up before Bulldog locks in a single leg Boston Crab. Bulldog breaks it to yell that he hasn't even broken a sweat to Michaels. Bulldog continues to beat up Roberts before Diana comes down to the ring. She confronts Michaels before throwing a cup of water on him. Cornette comes down to ask Michaels if he'd hit a woman. Shawn says no before clocking Cornette. And the episode just kind off...ends. That's it. Michaels punches Cornette, cut to black. What the hell, that was such an abrupt ending.

So...that was the end of RAW, I guess. Onto Nitro.

But first! A quick a recap of Slamboree, which happened the night before this episode of Nitro.

• In the first round of the Lethal Lottery:
• Animal & Booker T vs Hawk & Lex Luger ended in a double countout, eliminating both teams from the tournament.
• The Public Enemy defeated Chris Benoit & Kevin Sullivan after Sullivan held Benoit down on a table, allowing the Public Enemy to hit their stupid "I'll crash into you and put you through a table spot."
• Rick Steiner & the Booty Man defeated Scott Steiner & Craig Pittman after Steiner pinned Pittman with a German suplex. "Now that was teamwork. I LIKE IT!" says the Booty Babe.
• Jim Duggan & VK Wallstreet defeated the Blue Bloods (Dave Taylor replaced the Belfast Bruiser after the Bruiser was injured) after Duggan hit Taylor with a taped fist.
• Dick Slater & Earl Robert Eaton defeated Disco Inferno & Alex Wright after Slater hit Disco with his boot.
• Bobby Walker, a man I have yet to see wrestle, hot injured and had to be replaced. His replacement? Diamond Dallas Page. Which means that DDP was gone from WCW for about two months after losing his career at Uncensored. WCW, everybody! DDP & the Barbarian defeated Meng & Hugh Morrus after Barbarian pinned Morrus after a big boot.
• Fire & Ice defeated Big Bubba & Stevie Ray after hitting a double shoulder tackle on Bubba. They earn a bye to the final battle royal due to the double countout earlier in the show.
• And finally, Ric Flair & Randy Savage defeated Arn Anderson & Eddie Guerrero. Savage attacked Flair during the match, during which Anderson gave Guerrero a DDT. Anderson pulled Savage off of Flair, allowing Flair to cover Guerrero for the win. After the match, Flair & Anderson beat down Savage before Miss Elizabeth slaps him and Anderson gives him a DDT.
• Dean Malenko retained the Cruiserweight Championship against Brad Armstrong after hitting a top rope gutbuster.
• In the second round of the Lethal Lottery:
• Dick Slater & Earl Robert Eaton defeated Jim Duggan & VK Wallstreet. Duggan & Wallstreet started fighting, allowing Eaton to roll up Wallstreet for the win.
• The Public Enemy defeated Ric Flair & Randy Savage by forfeit after another fight broke out between Flair & Savage. Security & other wrestlers come out break up the fight before Flair sprints to the back.
• And finally, Diamond Dallas Page & the Barbarian defeated Rick Steiner & the Booty Man after DDP dropped an elbow on the Booty Man while he was rolling up the Barbarian. Rather than break up the ensuing pinfall, Rick Steiner just calmly walks back to his corner after tossing DDP out of the ring.
  
  Stupid idiot.
• Konnan retained the United States Championship against Jushin Thunder Liger after hitting Splash Mountian for the win.
• During the show, Ric Flair threw down the challenge for Mongo; him & one of his football buddies against Flair & Arn Anderson. Mongo already had one ready, Kevin Greene of the Carolina Panthers.
• In the finals of the Lethal Lottery, the eight men who made it this far compete in a battle royal where pinfalls are also legal to become the "Lord of the Ring." You get a ring and a world title shot. Diamond Dallas Page won after pinning the Barbarian with the Diamond Cutter. At one point, DDP goes over the top rope and hits the ground with one foot. Why am I bringing this up? Don't worry, it'll be important later on. One other notable moment is Col. Rob Parker smacking Robert Eaton with his cowboy hat after Eaton is eliminated.
  
  That was funny.
• In the main event, The Giant defended the WCW World Heavyweight Championship against Sting. Sting locked in the Scorpion Death Lock as Jimmy Hart hopped up on the ring apron to try to hit Sting with his megaphone. Luger, who was handcuffed to Hart, tried to wrestle the megaphone away from Hart, but accidentally hit Sting in the face with it. This allows the Giant to chokeslam Sting and retains the title.

Nitro

• Unfortunately, no Mongo on commentary tonight as him & Kevin Greene are training for their match against Flair & Anderson at the Great American Bash.
• Also, this episode of Nitro is 90 minutes instead of 60.
• Fire & Ice vs The Steiner Brothers-Scott Steiner & Ice Train kick off with Steiner hitting an arm drag. Steiner goes for a hip toss, but Ice Train blocks it and hip tosses Steiner. Steiner follows up that with a hip toss and a clothesline for a near fall. Ice Train floors Steiner with a body block before hitting a belly-to-belly suplex for a near fall. Steiner responds with one of his own before Rick Steiner & Scott Norton tag in. Norton beats down Steiner in the corner before clotheslining him to the ground and hitting a second rope splash. Norton follows up with a shoulder tackle, only for Steiner to respond with a huge German suplex. Steiner gets a near fall off a clothesline before tagging Scott in. Steiner hits a dragon suplex before throwing Norton out of the ring for a diving double axe handle. Back in the ring, Norton hits a Samoan Drop for a near fall before tagging in Ice Train, who immediately take an exploder suplex. Rick Steiner tags in and he & Ice Train go down after a double clothesline spot. Norton tags in for a double shoulder tackle before all Hell breaks loose.All four men fight outside the ring before getting counted out. This match was a lot of fun, I just wish it hadn't ended with a countout.
• Eddie Guerrero vs Ric Flair with Woman & Miss Elizabeth-The two go back and forth to start before Guerrero hits a dropkick. Guerrero controls the match before the two trade blows around the ring, with neither man getting an advantage. More back and forth offense before Guerrero hits a back body drop followed by two dropkicks, one of which sends Flair out of the ring. Flair walks over to his table set at the entrance ramp and grabs a chair, but the referee stops him from using it. Back in the ring, Guerrero beats down Flair until Guerrero leaves the ring and struts like Flair to taunt him. Back in the ring, Guerrero beats on Flair until he takes a flop and pleads for mercy. Flair pokes Guerrero in the eye before the commercial break. We come back to Flair working over Guerrero with a headlock. Guerrero breaks free and clobbers Flair with a forearm before getting a near fall off a sunset flip. Flair comes back with an inverted atomic drop followed by an elbow drop for a near fall. Flair controls the match before Guerrero gets a near fall off a backslide. Guerrero gets another near fall off a small package, but Flair responds with a back suplex. Flair goes for the figure four, but Guerrero counters it with a small package, but Flair gets in the ropes. Guerrero locks in a figure four of his own but gets to the ropes to break the hold and rolls out of the ring. Guerrero dives off the top rope at Flair, but Flair dodges him, causing Guerrero to hurt his knee on the landing. Flair suplexes Guerrero on the outside before getting back in the ring. Guerrero gets back in as well, only to take a shot to the back of the leg from Flair. Flair controls the match before Guerrero reverses a back suplex and rolls up Flair for a near fall. Guerrero follows up with a crossbody before sending Flair out of the ring. Back in the ring, Guerrero goes for a sunset flip, but Flair blocks it with a punch. Guerrero pokes Flair in the eye before hitting a tornado DDT for a near fall. Guerrero follows up with a wrist lock springboard hurricanrana and a body slam before going to the top rope for a frog splash. Guerrero connects but hurts his injured knee. Flair takes the opportunity to lock in the figure four. Guerrero tries to block it, but Flair gets it locked in and grabs Woman's hands for leverage. Guerrero doesn't tap, but his shoulders get counted down, giving Flair the win. Really good match. After the match, Mean Gene interviews Flair. Flair says Savage is in jail and he's teaching Elizabeth a new way of life. Flair says Mongo is scared of Flair and that's why he's not here tonight before telling Kevin Greene he made a mistake by getting in the ring, and he'll retire Greene at the Great American Bash. Flair then proceeds to take a seat at commentary,  complete with all stuff at his table.
  
• The Faces of Fear vs Sting & Lex Luger-Flair at one point says that she caught Elizabeth looking at Luger the other day. Foreshadowing...like four years in advance. Luger & Meng start by going back and forth before Luger hits a powerslam for a near fall. Meng responds with a back suplex before tagging in Barbarian. Sting tags in before the commercial break. We come back to see Sting running wild on both men before locking in a bear hug on Barbarian. Barbarian avoids a dropkick before tagging in Meng, who locks in a Boston Crab. Meng breaks the hold to stomp on Sting. The Faces of Fear control the match, even getting a visual three on Sting, only for the referee to be distracted by Luger. Sting is able to dodge a top rope splash from the Barbarian and make the tag to Luger. Luger runs wild on the Faces of Fear, making the cover after a forearm strike, but Meng breaks it up. Sting gets in the ring to brawl with Barbarian while Luger & Meng fight on the outside. Barbarian tries to superplex Sting, but Luger stops him and knocks him down to the mat. Sting hits a top rope splash before Luger makes the cover for the win. Pretty good match.
• Outside the arena, Randy Savage tries to get into the arena, but the police won't let him in. We did this last week. Mean Gene is out there to tell Savage that WCW officials are meeting to discuss Savage's future in the company, so Savage tells them to be careful with what they do with him. Savage accuses Mean Gene of trying set him up before trying to get into the arena again.
• GLACIER VIGNETTE!

Blood Has Run Cold For: 4 Episodes

• Brad Armstrong vs Diamond Dallas Page-If you aren't familiar with Brad Armstrong, he's the brother of Road Dogg. But more importantly, why is DDP back after losing his career at Uncensored, you might ask? Well, a "mystery benefactor" stepped in and helped DDP get his career back on track. Who is that mystery benefactor? That's an excellent question...Anyways, part of the perks the benefactor has provided apparently included upgrading from a School's Out knockoff entrance theme to a Smells Like Teen Spirit knockoff entrance theme. Of course, his entrance theme is changed because that is blatantly his real theme is blatantly a Smells Like Teen Spirit rip-off. Armstrong gets the better of DDP at the start with an arm drag before DDP takes control with a headlock. DDP goes for an inverted suplex, but Armstrong reverses it and dropkicks DDP out of the ring. However, DDP pulls Armstrong down onto the ropes before hitting a neckbreaker before the commercial break. We come back to DDP working over Armstrong with a headlock. Armstrong fights out and gets a near fall off a backslide before DDP clotheslines Armstrong. DDP controls the match before Armstrong dodges DDP in the corner and hits an inverted atomic drop. Armstrong rams DDP into the top turnbuckle, then the middle, then the top before throwing him face first into the floor. Armstrong hits a diving crossbody for a near fall, but DDP catches him with a back elbow before hitting the Diamond Cutter for the win. Fine match, nothing special. After the match, Mean Gene interviews DDP. Page says he shocked the world last night. I'm sorry, he "BANG! shocked world last night. Good. God!" as he put it. He thanks himself and gives himself a high five. He says he wants his title shot against the Giant before Mean Gene informs him that the WCW committee has decided that because DDP's foot hit the floor at one point, he's not getting a title shot at the Great American Bash. Now, let's just assume that the "both feet must touch the floor" rule only applies to WWF. So, if DDP doesn't get the title shot, then that means it would go to the Barbarian since he was the runner-up, right? Wrong. Instead, the title shot is going to Lex Luger.
  
  OK...a couple of things. First off, Luger didn't even make the finals of the Lethal Lottery, he got booted in the first round. F*cking Johnny Grunge has more of claim to a title shot then Luger does right now. Second, what has Luger even done to deserve a title shot lately? The last time he had a singles match he got wrecked and put through a table by the Giant. So yeah, now Lex Luger has a title shot he doesn't deserve and all DDP has is a sh*tty class ring that means nothing.
• The Giant (c) with Jimmy Hart vs Arn Anderson with Kevin Sullivan-WCW World Heavyweight Championship-Sullivan tells Hart that Anderson has had his back through everything, so he wants to make sure Anderson gets a fair shot at the title. Anderson goes for a waist lock at first, but Giant easily gets out of it. The Giant continues to no-sell Anderson's offense before bodyslamming him. Giant dominates the match before Anderson is able to crotch Giant on the ropes when he is getting back in the ring. Anderson is able to get the Giant down to one knee before going for the DDT. However, the Giant turns it right into a chokeslam for the quick win.

And that's about it. Again,  Nitro had the better show this week. It's not that RAW was bad this week, it's just...nothing happens. Nitro has better matches, better promos, and more important segments. Point to Nitro again.

RAW: 14

Nitro: 19

 Thanks for reading this edition of RAW vs Nitro. Stay tuned for the next one.