My Thoughts on SmackDown (5/30/17): Sweet Richard Simmons

• We kick off the show with promos from the women in the #1 contenders match tonight
• Charlotte Flair says she's genetically superior and she will win tonight
• Carmella makes puns
• Natalya says that winning tonight will prove why she's the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be.
• Becky Lynch says she's representing the Fighting Irish, but she doesn't need the luck of the Irish to win tonight
• Tamina says everyone has had their opportunities at the title, and it's time she gets hers
• We kick off the show with Kevin Owens' Highlight Reel. Owens says Chris Jericho invented the Money in the Bank ladder match, but never won it. He, however, will win the match at Money in the Bank, and when he does and cashes in, he'll become the face of the entire WWE. He brings out his guest tonight, Shinsuke Nakamura. Also, real quick; I don't understand these new nicknames Nakamura has. "The Artist?" "The Rockstar?" How? What was wrong with the King of Strong Style? Nakamura enters the ring in the way only he can, but Owens tells him his show is no place for dancing. He says the last guy in WWE claiming to be a rockstar got sent into an early retirement by himself. Nakamura starts to talk but is interrupted by Baron Corbin. He says they should show a highlight from a real superstar, and the clip of him beating down Sami Zayn last week. Owens says that wasn't impressive since he's been beating up Sami Zayn for 15 years and tells him to leave. Corbin calls him Cartman because "get it, he's fat!" Nakamura points out that last week he pinned Owens and that Sami Zayn pinned him before that beatdown. Corbin & Owens beat down Nakamura until Sami Zayn runs down to even the odds. Zayn & Nakamura boot the heels from the ring before Zayn says the fight between him & Corbin is far from over and that the fight between him & Owens is never over. That's true, they are destined to do this forever. Zayn proposes a tag match right now.
• Kevin Owens & Baron Corbin vs Shinsuke Nakamura & Sami Zayn-Corbin & Nakamura start off going back and forth before Nakamura knees Corbin in the corner. Nakamura follows up with Good Vibrations in the corner before tagging in Zayn. Owens tags in as well and the two go back and forth before Zayn hits a headscissor takedown. Owens leaves the ring and Zayn chases him back into the ring, where Owens stomps away at him. Corbin tags in and beats down Zayn in the corner, but Zayn turns the tables and beats down Corbin in the corner. Zayn goes for a suplex, but Corbin blocks it and forces Zayn to the ropes, where Owens kicks Zayn in the back of the head. Corbin stomps away at Zayn before Owens tags in to stomp away at him. Corbin tags back in and sets up Zayn on the top rope, but Zayn fights back. Zayn goes for a tornado DDT, but Corbin blocks it and body slams Zayn before the commercial break. We come back to Owens working over Zayn with a headlock. Zayn fights out and hits the Blue Thunder Bomb, but Owens tags in Corbin to stop the hot tag. Zayn nearly gets the win off a roll up, but Corbin responds with a spinebuster for a near fall. Zayn is able to respond with a clothesline and makes the hot tag to Nakamura. Nakamura strikes away at Owens, hanging Owens on the top rope before hitting a step-up knee for a near fall. Nakamura hits a heel kick, but Corbin breaks up the fall. Zayn runs in and sends Owens into Corbin, causing Corbin to clock Owens. Zayn clotheslines Corbin out of the ring before Nakamura hits the Kinshasa for the three and the win. Pretty solid match.
• The Usos are in the ring for a promo. They say everyone is salty because they're still the SmackDown Tag Team Champions. They've beaten everyone who's stepped to them until...DON'T YOU DARE BE SOUR! THE NEW DAY ARE BACK! They start to talk before being interrupted by the Usos. They say they've got the tag division on lock and welcome them to the Uso Penitentiary. Big E says they want the tag titles, and they want them bad. The Usos say they run the show and tell them to leave before they take them out Old Yeller-style. Xavier Woods says they know who actually runs the show, Shane McMahon, who says the Usos have special opponents at Money in the Bank. Who? Who? Who? The New Day, of course, and they' say they'll become the new W-W-E-WORLD-TAG-TEAM-CHAMPIONS!
• It's time for the Fashion Files, this time shot like an old, black & white film. Fandango (in an inner monologue) says him & Tyler Breeze let the biggest fashion felons slip through their fingers before finding the fashion police department wrecked. He finds Breeze in the office in a dress. Fandango says he's still undercover, which Breeze (also in an inner monologue) says Fandango thinks he's still undercover. They actually speak now,  looking over the wrecked office. The only clue...a bottle of cologne. Hintity Hintity. Hint. Anyways, these two are hilarious.
• Charlotte Flair vs Carmella with James Ellsworth vs Tamina vs Natalya vs Becky Lynch in a Fatal 5-Way Elimination match-Instant brawl before the match even starts as the Welcoming Committee uses the numbers game to beatdown Charlotte & Becky Lynch. Becky & Carmella fight to the outside as Natalya & Tamina beatdown Charlotte. Charlotte boots Natalya out of the ring, only to take a Samoan Drop. Carmella & Becky fight into the timekeeper's area before Tamina tears apart the announce table. However, Charlotte recovers and rams her into the ring post before suplexing Natalya on the outside. Charlotte goes to the top rope and hits a moonsault onto Natalya & Tamina. Carmella takes out Charlotte with a crossbody before Becky floors her with an exploder suplex. Tamina catches Becky with a superkick before Charlotte floors her with a big boot. Natalya hits Charlotte with the Nattie by Nature clothesline and tries to powerbomb her through the table, but Charlotte blocks it and throws Natalya into the steps. Charlotte follows up by powerbombing Natalya through the announce table. The match still hasn't started before Shane McMahon comes out. He says that because the competition is so heated, that they need to do something historic. He announces the first ever women's Money in the Bank ladder match, with all five of the women facing off.
• Breezango vs The Colons-Tyler Breeze came out in the dress & wig. Primo & Breeze start off with Primo quickly ripping off Breeze's dress & wig. Breeze responds with a dropkick before tagging in Fandango for a double elbow drop for a near fall. Primo tries for a sunset flip, but Fandango pulls out his water gun and shoots water in Primo's face. Epico charges in, so Breeze pulls out his water gun and shoots water in his face. Fandango clotheslines Epico out of the ring before back body dropping Primo out of the ring and onto him before the commercial break. We come back to Epico working over Fandango with a chin lock. During this time, Epico knocks Breeze off the apron, and Breeze just disappersThe Colons control the match until Fandango counters a superplex with a sunset flip powerbomb. Breeze reemerges as his janitor character and tags in, running wild on the Colons. Primo tries to use Breeze's a mop as a weapon, but Fandango stops him, allowing Breeze to hit the Unprettier for the win.
• Renee Young interviews AJ Styles. He says he's going to build momentum tonight by beating Dolph Ziggler, who shows up. He says he's the only one in the match who's won Money in the Bank and he'll do it again. Styles challenges him right now to a fight, but Ziggler says he'll see him out in the ring.
• Outcomes Randy Orton. He says he's beaten the best the industry has ever seen and says wrestling is in his blood. He says his grandfather would've slapped the hell out of him for losing the WWE Championship to a guy like Jinder Mahal. He says at Money in the Bank, he'll reclaim his title from Mahal and says Mahal hasn't earned any respect, he's earned an olf fashioned Orton family ass kicking. He says winning is the only option and says he'll become the champion for the 14th time. Jinder Mahal's music hits, but Jinder only appears on the TitanTron. He calls him ignorant like all the other Americans and says that America is in decay. He says Orton is living in the past, while he is the future.
• Dolph Ziggler vs AJ Styles-The two trade holds to start before Styles hits a dropkick. Ziggler responds by throwing Styles under the turnbuckle and into the ring post before the commercial break. We come back to Ziggler working over Styles with a headlock. Styles manages to break the hold with a back suplex before striking away at Ziggler. Styles follows up with a sliding forearm and goes for the Ushigoroshi, but Ziggler avoids it, only for Styles to hit an atomic facebuster for a near fall. Styles tries for the Styles Clash, but Ziggler blocks it and pins Styles with his feet on the ropes. The ref catches him, however, before Styles hits the Ushigoroshi for a near fall. Styles tries for the Styles Clash again, but Ziggler saves himself by grabbing the ropes and getting onto the apron. Styles tries to suplex Ziggler into the ring, but Ziggler lands on his feet, only for Styles to suplex him into the corner. Styles tries for the Styles Clash off the top rope, but Ziggler blocks it and hits a super jumping DDT. Ziggler goes for the Famouser, but Styles catches him with a powerbomb and goes for the Styles Clash again, but Ziggler blocks it. Ziggler goes for the Zig Zag, but Styles counters it with a wanky-looking backbreaker. Ziggler catches Styles with a knee strike before setting up Styles for a superplex. Styles slides out under Ziggler and after a series of reversals, locks in the Calf Crusher. Ziggler frees himself by prying at the face of Styles before hitting the Zig Zag, but Styles kicks out. Ziggler goes for a superkick, but Styles avoids it. Ziggler back body drops Styles onto the apron, where he tries for the Phenomenal Forearm. However, Ziggler pushes Styles legs out from under him, causing Styles to crotch himself on the top rope. Ziggler connects with the superkick for the win. Good match, wouldn't expect anything less from Styles or Ziggler.