RAW vs Nitro #42 (7/22/96)

Welcome back to another edition of RAW vs Nitro. Click here to read the last one if you missed it. So let's get into it, this is RAW vs Nitro #42.

But first, a quick recap of In Your House: International Incident, which happened the night before this RAW.

• The BodyDonnas defeated the WWF Tag Team Champions The Smoking Gunns in a non-title match. Why was it non-title? Who knows.
• Mankind defeated Henry O. Godwinn, who was replacing Jake Roberts, who was unable to compete. Mankind won with the Mandible Claw
• Steve Austin defeated Marc Mero with the Stunner.
• The Undertaker defeated Goldust by disqualification after Mankind popped up out of the ring and pulled Undertaker down with the Mandible Claw. Undertaker proceeds to vape under the ring.
  
  The Undertaker then proceeds to rise up from the other side of the ring and brawl with Mankind to the back and into a boiler room. This leads to a Boiler Room Brawl at SummerSlam
• In the main event, Camp Cornette defeated the team of Shawn Michaels, Ahmed Johnson, and Sycho Sid. Michaels tuned up the band for Sweet Chun Music, but a Jim Cornette grabbed his ankle to stop him. This distraction allowed Vader to splash Michaels in the corner and hit the Vader Bomb for the win. After the match, the babyfaces get their heat back, with Sid powerbombing the British Bulldog & Owen Hart, but Vader is saved by Bulldog & Hart. Michaels hits a tope onto Vader before Camp Cornette goes to the back.

RAW

• The Smoking Gunns (c) with Sunny vs Shawn Michaels & Ahmed Johnson with Jose Lothario-WWF Tag Team Championships-So since Michaels & Johnson each pinned one Smoking Gunn in singles matches last week, they're getting a shot at the Tag Team Championships...EXCEPT NOPE! Since it's Shawn Michaels birthday, Sunny got him a cake, but only to distract him & Johnson so the Gunns can blindside them. IT WAS A RUSE! Michaels & Johnson get the upper hand, however, and Michaels connects with Sweet Chin Music on Billy Gunn. Michaels then teases smashing the cake on Sunny, but instead just puts some frosting on her nose.
  
  Sunny tries to throw it at Michaels but ends up getting caked by Johnson. Michaels then proceeds to eat cake off of Sunny's face. I'm pretty sure that's sexual assault...again.
• Backstage, Gorilla Monsoon confirms that there will be a Tag Team Championship tonight, and if the Smoking Gunns don't defend the titles they will be stripped of the belts.
• Marc Mero with Sable vs The Goon-Marc Mero's just running down the worst gimmicks in WWE history lately. First, he got wrestling plumber TL Hopper and now he's going up against wrestling hockey player The Goon. I said it last time and I'll say it again; gimmicks like these are why WCW starts winning the war. The Goon blindsides Mero and beats him down in the corner before hitting a body block. Stone Cold shows up on commentary for this match because something interesting needs to happen during a Marc Mero-sh*t 90's occupational gimmick match. The Goon continues to beat up Mero as Austin talks about wanting to face the champions. Meanwhile, Jake Roberts calls in to talk about not being at International Incident as Jerry Lawler & Austin mock him for his abuse issues. Austin then complains about how the WWF doesn't push him to the moon, specifically noting that they gave Lex Luger a tour bus to ride around in. I'm avoiding talking about the match because it's sh*t. So yeah, Mero won after hitting a slingshot leg drop, which Austin calls a fluke win.
• Shawn Michaels & Ahmed Johnson get interviewed. Michaels says they'll have all the gold after tonight.
• We see backstage that Clarence Mason is trying to get a man who was arrested, but not convicted of a crime into the WWF.
• Mankind vs Freddie Joe Floyd-Freddie Joe Floyd is Tracy Smothers. Floyd starts off by throwing Mankind out of the ring. Mankind gets back in the ring, where Floyd hits a fireman's carry takedown and a dropkick, but misses a flying nothing, allowing Mankind to take control. Mankind beats down Floyd and throws him around the ring. Mankind hits a running knee in the corner before dropping a leg on Floyd, who was hanging on the ropes. Floyd mounts some offense, but Mankind floors him with a clothesline to cut off Floyd's momentum. Mankind goes for a Tree of Woe elbow drop, but Floyd avoids it and a running knee in the corner. Floyd hits two back wheel kicks before hitting a fly back elbow for a near fall. Floyd gets a near fall off a cradle before going to top rope, only for Mankind to bump the ropes and causes him to fall. Mankind applies the Mandible Claw from the top rope before pulling Floyd down crotch-first on the ropes. Mankind reapplies the Claw for the submission win. Pretty much an extended squash match.
• Marc Mero gets interviewed. He promises "jungle warfare" next week when he faces Vader and says Goldust made a mistake in flirting with Sable.
• Goldust with Marlena vs Barry Horowitz-Brian Pillman comes out for commentary for this match, threatening to say the 7 words you can't say on TV. He also says he can't say anything about Barry Horowitz or else it would be considered anti-Semitic. That's pretty funny...the joke, not anti-Semitism. Goldust gets the squash victory over Horowitz, pinning him after the Curtain Call.
• Sunny & The Smoking Gunns get interviewed. She says the Gunns are respectable champions unlike Shawn Michaels & Ahmed Johnson and that the Gunns will retain the tag titles tonight.
• Vince McMahon interviews Jim Cornette & Vader, who challenges Shawn Michaels at SummerSlam for the WWF Championship. Cornette basically says Vader is a big bully and he's coming after Michaels & the WWF Championship
• The Smoking Gunns (c) with Sunny vs Shawn Michaels & Ahmed Johnson with Jose Lothario-The Gunns rush the ring, only to get quickly dispatched from the ring. The Gunns recuperate outside the ring as Sunny calls Michaels a pervert. She's not wrong, the guy has force-kissed her three times in the last two weeks. The match gets underway with Michaels & Billy Gunn starting off. Michaels & Gunn go back and forth before Michaels clotheslines Gunn out of the ring. Michaels brings Gunn back in the ring and arm drags him, slapping on a wristlock before tagging in Johnson. Johnson continues to work the arm going into the commercial break. We come back to Michaels working the arm before Billy Gunn bodyslams him. Bart tags in, but Michaels dodges an elbow drop and tags in Johnson. Johnson & Bart fight into the corner before Johnson hits a clothesline. Gunn responds by flapjacking Johnson into the top rope before tagging in Billy Gunn, who takes an ugly powerslam for his troubles. Michaels tags in and hits a double axe handle for a near fall. Michaels follows up with a hip toss and a headscissor takeover, but gets caught on a second attempt and gets dropped across the top rope, with an assist from Bart. Bart tags in and gorilla presses Michaels before dropping him across the top rope. The Gunns control the match until Johnson gets the tag, but a distraction from Bart prevents the referee from seeing it. The referee forces Johnson back out as the Gunns beat down Michaels before the commercial break. We come back with the Gunns still in control. Michaels is able to create space after a knocking the Gunns' heads together and makes the hot tag to Johnson. Johnson runs through the Gunns before hitting a spinebuster on Billy. Bart pulls Johnson out of the ring, Michaels pulls Bart back in the ring and beats up both the Gunns as Ahmed Johnson is attacked by...
  
  a space...soldier? Actually, that's Ron Simmons, a former WCW World Heavyweight Champion, now named Farooq Assad. He's been wrestling in ECW for the past year and is now in the WWF. And no, I have no idea why he's wearing that. Wikipedia says he's a gladiator but I don't remember gladiators being so...colorful. Farooq beats down Johnson at ringside before Michaels leaves the ring as referees and backstage. Sunny congratulates Farooq on the beatdown before Farooq says "this kingdom" is now Sunny's. Michaels & Farooq brawl as the show closes.

That's it for RAW. Onto Nitro.

Nitro

• Squire Dave Taylor with Jeeves vs Scott Norton-Taylor hits a dropkick and two uppercuts, but can't knock Norton off his feet. Norton clotheslines Taylor, who rolls out of the ring, only to get pulled back in by Norton. Taylor comes back with three more uppercuts, only for Norton to throw Taylor over the top rope and out of the ring for a DQ. Yeah, that's still a thing. It's dumb, I know. Norton beats down Taylor and throws him into the ring post before walking off.
• Mean Gene interviews the Four Horsemen minus Ric Flair. Arn Anderson says Flair will be here via a grand entrance before Mongo says the Horsemen are focused on Randy Savage, Lex Luger, and Sting and not the Outsiders. Benoit says nothing of note. Mean Gene asks for a banana before throwing it back to the first-hour commentators Tony Schiavone & Larry Zbyszko.
• VK Wallstreet vs Konnan-Wallstreet gets instant "I.R.S" chants as soon as he comes out. Also, Konnan stole one of Marty Jannetty's tasseled singlets. 
  Konnan out wrestles Wallstreet to start before Wallstreet throws him into the turnbuckle. Wallstreet slaps on a headlock, but Konnan quickly escapes it with a jawbreaker and hits a basement dropkick. Konnan applies an armbar, but Wallstreet breaks it by raking the eyes and throwing Konnan out of the ring. Outside the ring, Wallstreet throws Konnan into the ring steps before Konnan gets back in the ring. Wallstreet controls the match, working over Konnan's leg while grabbing the ropes, a thing that I still have zero idea of what's it's actual purpose is. Like seriously, what is the actual purpose of grabbing the ropes while applying a hold? Does it actually make the hold more painful or is it just one of those weird wrestling things that make no sense like pulling the tights. The referee catches Wallstreet and forces him to break the hold, which allows Konnan to roll up Wallstreet for a near fall. Wallstreet comes back with a bodyslam and an elbow drop for a near fall before slapping on a headlock. Wallstreet controls the match as fans cheer for Konnan, which shocks Zbyszko because "this isn't Mexico." Konnan is able to come back with a clothesline before hitting a facebuster, only for Wallstreet to hit the Samoan Drop, which he calls the Stock Market Crash because "Wallstreet." Wallstreet makes the cover, but Konnan counters it and pins Wallstreet with a Jackknife cover for the win. Yeah, this wasn't very good.
• Mean Gene interviews Sting, Lex Luger, and Randy Savage. Luger says him, Sting, and Savage came her tonight to make a statement and he only got his ass kicked by the NWO last week because of the numbers. Sting tells Hulk Hogan to stick it again and calls out any of the Four Horsemen tonight. Savage says he wants Hogan, Flair, and the Outsiders here tonight to finish this off tonight.
• GLACIER VIGNETTE!

Blood Has Run Cold For: 13 Episodes

• Actually, this is the first time we've gotten a good look at Glacier since the vignettes have started. And let's just say Glacier might look a bit familiar if you're a Mortal Kombat fan.
  
  It's a good thing nobody on Midway's legal team was a wrestling fan. Basically, Glacier just does some martial arts moves.
• We then get a video package for a bunch of jobbers...and Alex Wright. He's not quite a jobber...but he's close. So why are they getting a video package? I don't know, this was probably just a waste of money. I mean, that's kind of WCW's thing if you haven't noticed.  The video shows Jim Powers, Joe Gomez, Alex Wright, and the Renegade. They walk on the beach alone. They take their shirts off. They walk together. That is all.
• Jim Powers, Joe Gomez, Alex Wright, and The Renegade vs Kevin Sullivan, Hugh Morrus, The Barbarian, and A GOD DAMN LEPRECHAUN-
  
  Yes...that's a leprechaun. Braun the Leprechaun, in fact. He's actually DeWayne Bruce, better known as Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker and the future trainer for the WCW Power Plant. Here he is portraying one of the two Irish gimmicks that exist in American wrestling. If you're an Irish pro wrestler, you're either a brawler from Ireland (Sheamus & Finlay) or an Irish stereotype (NXT debut Becky Lynch, Hornswoggle, and Braun the Leprechaun). Or you're in the 0.1% who's gimmick is "guy who paints himself up like a Demon." The Renegade & Morrus start with Renegade hip tossing Morrus. After that, The cameraman literally f*cks off and walks to the back to check out what's happening in the back. I don't blame him. We cut back to the match where Wright hits a corner moonsault on the Barbarian before all hell breaks loose. We then see that the Outsiders have made their way to the production control room. WCW has the worst security, these guys just wander around everywhere every week and nobody stops them. My high school had better security than this company. They dick around with the sound before taking someone's headset and telling the cameraman to pan the crowd. There's a match going on, by the way. Security finally shows up and escorts Hall & Nash out of the production room. Now back to that pesky wrestling match. Gomez gets a near fall on Sullivan off a sunset flip before Morrus & Powers tag in. Morrus throws Powers out of the ring, where he is given a pep talk by Teddy Long, who wondered down to ringside. He sensed there was a tag match going on. Long gives Powers the POWER OF THE TAG TEAM MATCH, PLAYAS! He runs wild before all hell breaks loose and the Giant shows up. The Giant chokeslams all the faces before Mean Gene gets in the ring and asks him about the challenge thrown out by Hulk Hogan. The Giant says he made an oath to defend the WCW World Heavyweight Championship everywhere he went and while Hogan was out making movies, he's been, in his own words, the cancer of WCW that nobody can cure. The Giant says he's going to chokeslam Hogan at Hog Wild, accepting Hogan's challenge. Jimmy Hart says the Giant will be ready for Hogan at Hog Wild.
• Diamond Dallas Page vs Prince Iaukea-Iaukea starts off with a dropkick but quickly gets floored by a forearm. DDP follows up with a tilt-a-whirl slam before throwing Iaukea out of the ring. Iaukea comes back with a springboard crossbody for a near fall, followed by another for a near fall. DDP then quickly hits the Diamond Cutter for the win.
• We get another recap of the feud between Chris Benoit & Kevin Sullivan. I bring this up because there's something I forgot to talk about that happened at Bash at the Beach. During the Giant & Kevin Sullivan/Arn Anderson & Chris Benoit match, Benoit & Sullivan brawled away from the ring when the Giant chokeslammed Anderson for the win. After the fall, Benoit brought Sullivan back to the ring and beat him up some more. During this, Woman pleaded with Benoit to stop. So yes, we've officially moved past the portion of the Chris Benoit-Kevin Sullivan feud where they beat the piss out of eachother on pay-per-view and now we're at the part where Sullivan books a kayfabe affair between is real life wife Woman & Benoit that turns into a real life affair. It's going to be SUPER AWKWARD!
• Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs Dean Malenko-Oooh, Chavo! Yes, it's the Nitro debut of Chavo Guerrero Jr., the future worst person in the world. The two start off going back and forth before Chavo hits a headscissor takedown. Malenko responds with a running knee and a gutbuster for a near fall. Malenko launches Chavo in the air, but Chavo comes back with a dropkick. Malenko rolls out of the ring to recover before regaining control with a side suplex. Malenko follows up with a fallaway slam before setting Chavo on the top rope. Chavo knocks Malenko down and gets a near fall off a sunset flip, but Malenko keeps control with a clothesline. Malenko follows up with an elbow drop for a near fall before bodyslamming Chavo. Malenko controls the match until as Jimmy Hart comes down to the ring. This distracts Malenko, allowing Chavo to roll him up for a near fall. Chavo gets another near fall off a small package before going for a flying nothing, which Malenko counters and locks in the Texas Cloverleaf for the win. Fine match, nothing special.
• Ice Train vs Meng with Jimmy Hart-Meng charges Ice Train when the match starts before Ice Train hits a crossbody for a near fall. We see Teddy Long looking on after that, cheering on Ice Train. The two fight to the outside where they trade chops before going back in the ring. Ice Train gets a near fall off a sunset flip, which Meng responds to with a clothesline for a near fall. Meng follows up with a bodyslam and a leg drop for a near fall. Ice Train gets a near fall off a small package before Meng headbutts him down. Ice Train goes for a bodyslam, but collapses under Meng and almost gets pinned. Meng strikes Ice Train down to his knees before applying a double shoulder claw. Ice Train fights to his feet and hits a shoulder tackle for a near fall. Meng responds with headbutts and applies a lazy Camel Clutch, but Ice Train breaks the hold. Meng forces Ice Train into the corner and chops him before Ice Train turns the tables and chops Meng. Ice Train follows up with a clothesline & a corner splash before hitting a powerslam for a near fall. Ice Train goes for a double axe handle, but Meng catches him with a savate kick and rolls him to the outside. Meng beats down on Meng until Scott Norton runs down and rams Meng into the ring post for a DQ. Why would Norton save Ice Train? Because he doesn't want any excuses when he beats him at Hog Wild. That's a valid reason, but it doesn't really make sense that he let Ice Train get beat up the entire match and only ran down when he did.
• Psicosis vs Eddie Guerrero-Guerrero starts off with an arm drag before the two go back and forth as we go to commercial break. We come back to Guerrero dodging Psicosis in the corner and hitting a shoulder block and an arm drag. Psicosis responds with a dropkick, but gets boosted into the top rope by Guerrero and clotheslined over the top rope out of the ring. Wait, I thought that was a DQ? It was earlier in the night. It almost like it's a random ass rule that makes zero sense and only applies when the situation calls for it. Guerrero goes to the top rope and dives onto Psicosis before bringing him back in the ring. Guerrero hits a back suplex for a near fall, but Psicosis counters the second attempt and hits an enziguri followed by a leg drop. Psicosis hits a bodyslam before going to the top rope for spinning heel kick off the top rope. Psicosis controls the match before Guerrero hits a hurricanrana and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for a near fall. Psicosis gets a near fall off a hurricanrana before hitting a powerbomb and going to the top rope for a corkscrew senton bomb for another near fall. Psicosis tries to set Guerrero up on the top rope, but Guerrero sets him up there, hits a super-hurricanrana and follows up with the frog splash for the win. Really good match.
• Arn Anderson, Chris Benoit, and Steve McMichael with Miss Elizabeth, Woman, and Debra vs Sting, Lex Luger, and Randy Savage-Well, it's supposed to be Ric Flair with Benoit & Mongo. Before the babyfaces come out, we see Arn Anderson looking into a white limo. He then goes to the ring and calls a huddle with the other Horsemen, presumably telling them he's taking Flair's place. Sting & Anderson start off shoving eachother before Sting clotheslines him & Benoit. Sting runs through the Horsemen until taking a diving shoulder tackle from Mongo. Anderson throws Sting outside the ring, where Benoit & Mongo beat him down until Savage chases them off. Back in the ring, Anderson works over Sting before tagging in Benoit for some stiff chops and a back suplex. Mongo tags in for a neckbreaker for a near fall. Sting comes back with a crossbody for a near fall before Mongo hits a dropkick. Benoit tags back in and stomps away at Sting before hitting an elbow drop. The Horsemen control the match until Sting counters a sleeper hold with a back body drop and tags in Luger. Luger runs through the Horsemen before all six men start brawling. Woman tries to take the briefcase from Debra, who was trying to hand it to Mongo in the first place(?) but Savage takes it from them and clocks Benoit during the chaos, allowing Luger to pick up the win. Yeah, this was...a match. Afterward, Mean Gene interviews the babyfaces. Sting says that he & Luger are feeling mean and says they'll beat Hall & Nash at Hog Wild. Luger says the Outsiders have been pushing the wrong buttons since they got to WCW and they're going to learn what WCW is all about. Savage says Hogan won't be able to face the Giant at Hog Wild because he's going to kick his ass when he makes his entrance.

And that's about it. Neither of these shows were good, but I'm giving the point to Nitro because at least it had two relatively good matches. RAW had nothing except spaceman Farooq.

RAW: 17

Nitro: 25

That's it for this edition of RAW vs Nitro. If you liked what you read, feel free to share this around and as always, stay tuned for the next one!