RAW vs Nitro #7 (10/23/95)

Welcome back to another edition of RAW vs Nitro! Nitro won last time, so let's see what happens this time. Let's get into it, this is RAW vs Nitro #7!
But first, a quick recap of what happened at In Your House 4.

• The Smoking Gunns retained the WWF Tag Team Championships over Razor Ramon & the 1-2-3 Kid. Razor hit the Razor's Edge on Billy Gunn, but instead of covering, he tagged in the Kid, whose lazy cover got turned into a crucifix pin for the win. The Kid shoves Razor away after the match before attacking the Smoking Gunns before being stopped by Razor.
• Goldust won his debut match, defeating Marty Jannetty and his horrible tasseled-onesie.
  
• Yokozuna & King Mabel fought to a double count-out, then hugged in the ring.
• Due to his injuries he sustained after getting beat up by a bunch of marines in Syracuse, Shawn Michaels was forced to forfeit the Intercontinental Championship over to Dean Douglas. Douglas then immediately lost the championship to Razor Ramon. 
• Diesel retained the WWF Championship against the Britsh Bulldog by disqualification after Bulldog slapped Bret Hart, who was on commentary and attacked him in retaliation. After that, Diesel & Bret Hart have a slow brawl. 

Now onto RAW!

RAW

• 20-Man Battle Royale-#1 Contenders match for the Intercontinental Championship-We kick off the show with a battle royale. Marty Jannetty, Sycho Sid, and Issac Yankem all get entrances. Dammit, I was hoping the cage match last time was the last time I'd have to see the evil f*cking dentist. Surprisingly. King Kong Bundy is the first man tossed out despite being one of the biggest men in the ring, followed by Aldo Montoya & Bob Holly. Sycho Sid boots Duke "The Dumpster" Droese before Skip tosses Hakushi over the top rope. Kama Mustafa eliminates Fatu while Barry Horowitz eliminates Skip before the commercial break. We come back to find out that Horowitz, 1-2-3 Kid, Rad Radford, Kama Mustafa and Henry O. Godwinn got eliminated during the break. Sid sends Issac Yankem over the top rope before Bam Bam bumps him over and out before another commercial break. We come back to find out that Bam Bam Bigelow got eliminated by Jean-Pierre LaFitte. It's down to the final four; Owen Hart, Savio Vega, Marty Jannetty, and Jean-Pierre LaFitte. Hart tries to eliminate Jannetty while LaFitte & Vega go back and forth. Vega tries to throw Jannetty out, but Jannetty skins the cat and pulls Vega over the top rope with his legs before back body dropping LaFitte out, leaving only Hart & Jannetty. Jannetty clotheslines Hart over the top rope and tries to punch Hart off the apron, but Hart manages to hang on. Hart pulls Jannetty onto the top rope and hits a step-up enziguri, but Jannetty avoids elimination again. After a scramble, Hart causes Jannetty to fall through the ropes, meaning he's still in the match. Jim Cornette tries to attack Jannetty, but Jannetty steals his tennis racket and goes after him. However, British Bulldog runs down and beats him down at ringside. Back in the ring, Jannetty & Hart go back and forth until Hart throws Jannetty over the top rope. Battle royales are always pretty enjoyable, so I liked the match.
• After the match, Jerry Lawler interviews Owen Hart & Jim Cornette. Hart says he beat everyone the WWF has to offer. Chill out dude, you beat Rad Radford and Hakushi. He says next week he'll be the new Intercontinental Championship.
• Dok Hendrix announces that at Survivor Series, the team of Shawn Michaels, Sycho Sid, British Bulldog, and Ahmed Johnson will face the team of Dean Douglas, Yokozuna, Owen Hart, and Razor Ramon. So not only do they have teams with faces & heels mixed together, they also have a faction split between two teams. That's...a pretty interesting idea, actually. Suddenly, Hendrix points out something in the crowd...despite being backstage.
• Out in the crowd, Bob Backlund is talking to a bunch of people. Vince McMahon says he's campaigning for a Presidential run. Hey, he's better than the guy we just elected.
• Ahmed Johnson cuts a promo about Survivor Series. He says HBK has nothing to worry about and that if Sid & Bulldog think they're "gonna play that tag game" and not be there for Michaels & himself, then he'll "show them the true meaning of medieval. What.
• Avatar vs Brian Walsh-Who is Avatar? Well, it's Al Snow! He comes to the ring...then puts a mask on. I think he's a ninja. A brightly colored ninja. Brian Walsh does a kip up. Calm down bro, you're a jobber. I know this is just a jobber squash match...but this is awful. Like, really bad. Like, it's probably easier to just list off all the bad spots in this match.
• Avatar takes a butt bump off a flip after Walsh dodges him
• Avatar misses a kick by a mile and Walsh slowly maneuvers his way onto the apron.
• Avatar hops up to the top rope, loses his balance, and then just body vaults onto Walsh on the outside.
• Walsh just kind of stands still on an arm drag attempt by Avatar.
• Avatar stands on top of Walsh and hits a splash for the win.
• So, I wanted to address this real quick. So, on this show, they shilled some standees of WWF Superstars, as seen here;
  
  They still sell these today for like 35 dollars and I just gotta ask...why? Why would you want on of these? This might just be me, but a cardboard cutout of Shawn Michaels in the corner of my room giving me the bedroom eyes is not something I'd really want. That's just me, though.
• Next week, Goldust makes his RAW debut against Savio Vega.
• Bertha Faye (c) with Harvey Wippleman vs Alundra Blayze for the WWF Women's Championship-Blayze runs into Faye, but Faye doesn't budge and she hits and the ground. Faye picks her and gorilla press slams Blayze before hitting a body slam and two leg drops for a one count. Faye continues to use the size advantage until Blayze gets a sunset flip roll up for a near fall. Blayze goes for another, but Faye sits down on it for a near fall. Faye continues to beat down on Blayze before the commercial break. We come back to see Blayze locking in the Boston Crab, but in an odd moment, Blayze just lets go and takes a back bump. Made no sense. Blayze rams Faye's head into the turnbuckle before hitting a top rope double arm drag. Blayze follows up with a hip toss and a second rope dropkick for a near fall. Alunda Blayze is pretty dope. Blayze hits a spinning heel kick for a near fall before hitting two hair pull takedowns and a forearm smash for a one count. Blayze goes for a powerbomb, but Faye powers out and bodyslams Blayze. Faye goes to the second rope, but Blayze catches her with a handstand headscissor takedown. Wippleman grabs Blayze to allow Faye to splash her, but Blayze dodges and sends Faye into Wippleman. This allows Blayze to hit a big German suplex on Faye for the win and the title. That was a pretty good match. I wasn't expecting a lot, but I really enjoyed it. It's a shame the women's division in the WWF doesn't last much longer after this. After the match, Faye chases Wippleman to the back for costing her the match.
• We close the show with Jim Ross interviewing Shawn Michaels. He says he's not the toughest or the most popular, but he works harder than everyone else. He says getting beat up by nine guys outside a bar "just sort of happens", calls Dean Douglas overrated, and says handing him the belt at In Your House 4 was the hardest thing he ever did. He says he's got tests on Wednesday and hopefully he'll be back in the ring within a week.

That's it for RAW. Onto Nitro!

Nitro

• Randy Savage vs Kurasawa with Col. Rob Parker-We kick off the show with the Macho Man taking on Kurasawa. Parker tries to talk to Savage, but Savage just slaps him and pushes him down. Kurawaw uses that to attack Savage, striking him to the ground. Eric Bischoff calls a regular kick a "back leg round kick" at one point. Please stop. Kurasawa continues to chop & kick away at Savage until Savage throws Kuraswaw through the ropes. It doesn't do anything and Kurasawa gets back in the ring and hits a delayed suplex for a near fall. Kurasawa works over the left arm of Savage before baseball sliding Savage out of the ring. Kurasawa continues to work over Savage with "back leg round kicks", as Bischoff calls them. It just sounds so pretentious. Savage leaves the ring and dodges a baseball slide before dodging a kick by Kurasawa that causes Kurasawa to kick the ring post. Back in the ring, Kurasawa tries to lock in a Fujiwara armbar, but Savage blocks it, clothesline Kurasawa to the ground, and hits the top rope elbow drop for the win. Pretty lame match. Kurasawa dominated the entire match, only for Savage to win with a few moves.
• The lights in the arena go out and we get an appearance from the Master of the Dungeon of Doom!
  
  I guess he's a...rock person...thing...man. Look, he's the leader of a group that has a guy who thinks he's a shark and a weirdo painted up like a zebra, just roll with it. He tells Kevin Sullivan that the "insurance package" has arrived. He says a bunch of goofy sh*t about the Himalayas and stuff before to cut to a giant block of ice. OH MY GOD, I KNOW WHAT THIS IS! I know I'm just supposed to write about stuff that happened on Nitro, but I can't NOT talk about this. If you don't already know what this is, guess. I'll give you a hint; he doesn't look at all like what he's called. Did you guess it?
  
  IT'S THE YETAY! Yes, one of WCW's most bizarre characters. You're probably thinking to yourself "That's a mummy." Yes. Yes it is. But for some reason, Kevin Sullivan and the rest of the booking team seemed to think that this tall dude that is clearly dressed as a mummy could pass as a yeti. Or as everyone in WCW says for some reason, a YETAY! Even funnier, the YETAY's only offensive move seemed to be a reverse bearhug, complete with highly unnecessary dry humping.
  
  And even funnier than that, this was the only time the Yeti looked like this. At World War 3, he debuted a new look...a party store Scorpion from Mortal Kombat costume;
  
  AND HE WAS STILL CALLED THE YETAY! Sometimes I love this company. It is batsh*t insane and it is incredible because of it.
• In front of the giant ice block (dear God), Mean Gene interviews Kevin Sullivan & The Giant. He says the Yeti is the insurance policy and says Hulk Hogan now wears black because he walks in the land of madness. He says he doesn't think there's any good left in Hulk Hogan. Giant then says he'll take Hogan's life and the WCW World Heavyweight Championship from him. He calls himself the one true immortal and laughs. Sullivan says Hogan turned to the dark side because the Dungeon of Doom shaved his mustache. Not joking. This is the main event storyline. This group of goobs are the top heels. This company makes me feel drunk.
• Mean Gene goes out to the stage and brings out Hulk Hogan Dark and Jimmy Hart. Hogan says people think he is boxed in with the Dungeon of Doom on his back, but he fears no evil. He says he's carrying the Hulkamaniacs through the dark valley on his back. He then says he'll drag the Giant around on his motorcycle until he disintegrates. That would be murder. He also says that Sting, Lex Luger, and Randy Savage aren't really his friends and that he'll fight all of them one by one.
• Chris Benoit & Dean Malenko vs Eddie Guerrero & Mr. JL with Alex Wright-Wright as initially supposed to be Guerrero's partner, but he injured his knee and was replaced by Mr. JL. Not that that's a good thing, but I'm not about to complain about Chris Benoit & Dean Malenko vs Eddie Guerrero & Jerry Lynn in a purple mask. Benoit & Guerrero start with Guerrero getting a single leg takedown. Guerrero locks in a wrist lock before Benoit makes the tag to Malenko. Benoit hits an arm drag and tries to arm drag Malenko onto Guerrero, but Guerrero rolls out of the ring and Malenko lands on his feet. Malenko does a body vault to the outside to Guerrero and holds him up to take a suicide dive from Benoit, but Guerrero moves and Malenko takes the dive. This allows JL to hit an assisted tope crossbody block onto Malenko & Benoit, which Bischoff calls a "full...court...high flying double...press...how do you say that I tell you what!" Back in the ring, Malenko & Guerrero go back and forth before Guerrero hits a tilt-a-whirl arm drag before Malenko dropkicks him. Guerrero hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker before tagging in JL for a pop-up knee strike. Now, before I continue, remember that time WCW cut away from Guerrero vs Malenko to show Hulk Hogan showing up 20 minutes late to work? Yeah, that was really dumb. Could you imagine if they did it again? Guess what they did:
  
  God dammit, they did it again. It's not even anyone important like Hogan or Sting, it's the Shark and Scott Norton! Who gives a f*ck? Stop interrupting cruiserweight matches with stupid sh*t. So yeah, the Shark and Scott Norton are fighting backstage. I guess Scott Norton was pissed about the Shark costing him his match against Randy Savage...like a month ago. He 's just now pissed about this. Anyway, back to that pesky wrestling match. Benoit & Malenko double team JL before the commercial break. We come back to Malenko hitting a belly-to-belly suplex on JL for a near fall. The heels continue to work over JL until JL hits a spinning uppercut on Malenko. Guerrero gets the hot tag and dropkicks on Malenko & Benoit before hitting an enziguri on Malenko. Guerrero locks in a wrist lock, scales the ropes, tags in JL, and hits an arm drag on Malenko and a headscissor takedown on Benoit. JL & Malenko collide in the ring as a Guerrero & Benoit brawl to the outside. Wright trips up Malenko with his crutch (like a babyface) and JL gets the win of a victory roll. Mongo says "That cripple did interfere in the match." Really good, very enjoyable. As Guerrero walks up the ramp, Brian Pillman runs down and attacks him, giving him a DDT on the floor before walking off.
• Harlem Heat with Sister Sherri vs Sting & Lex Luger-Before the match, we get a shot of 6 people with "TNT WCW" written on their face in paint while being dangerously close to wearing black face.
  
  Booker & Sting start off with a back and forth before Sting dropkicks Booker and hip tosses him over the top rope. The commentators then bicker as to whether or not the hip toss over the top rope was intentional. "Why?" you might ask. Well, one of Bill Watts old rules was that if you throw someone over the top rope, it's a disqualification. It was dumb. Sting & Booker fight at ringside before going back in the ring and Sting back body drops Booker before the commercial break. We come back to Stevie Ray locking in a claw hold on Luger before tagging in Booker for a dropkick. Booker continues to beat down on Luger before Sting rakes his eyes (like a babyface). We then get a confusing moment where Stevie Ray brings Luger over to Harlem Heat's corner and holds his hand up for a tag...then pulls it away before the referee turns to stop Sting from interfering so Booker can choke Luger. Stevie then goes back and makes the tag. I just don't know. Harlem Heat continues to work over Luger as Sherri stares at and kisses pictures of her & Col. Rob Parker. Luger dodges the Harlem Hangover and makes the hot tag to Sting, who runs wild on Harlem Heat. Sting hits Stinger Splashes on both members of Harlem Heat and goes for the Scorpion Death Lock on Booker, but Stevie Ray stops it with a superkick. Luger brawls with Stevie Ray as Booker throws Sting out of the ring. Harlem Heat double suplex Luger before Sting hits a diving clothesline on Booker for the win. Fine match, nothing special. After the match, the Giant & Kevin Sullivan come down. Giant chokeslams Luger & Sting before Savage runs down. Savage runs down and gets Sullivan out of the ring before Hulk Hogan comes down. Savage leaves the ring as Hogan & the Giant circle eachother. Hogan punches the Giant, but it has no effect. Giant punches Hogan to the ground, but Hogan Hulks Up, only for the rest of the Dungeon of Doom to run down. They are easily disposed of before Hogan goes back to beating up the Giant. Security stops Hogan from doing anything else as lights begin to go off. The show closes with THE YETAY! bursting out of the block of ice.

And that's about it. Overall, I'd say that Nitro was better again. The matches were better overall, and the promos were more entertaining. Also, THE YETAY! I'll take a three of the best workers ever in the ring at the same time over over a sh*tty Al Snow squash match. I'm giving the point to Nitro.

RAW: 2

Nitro: 5

Thanks for reading. Stay tuned in three days for RAW vs Nitro #8!